Before You: Standalone Contemporary Romance (13 page)

From there, my day became a constant flow of work that lasted through lunch and until after I was meant to go home. It wasn’t until Milly stood by my desk with her bag in her hand that I remembered she wanted to get ready at my place. And worse, I hadn’t called André like I was supposed to.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Uh, just a sec,” I said, saving my work and pulling my phone from my desk drawer. It was still on silent and had about a dozen missed calls. “Shit.”

“Everything OK?”

“Ah, yeah, sure. Why don’t you go meet me at the elevator? I’ll just finish up here.”

Smiling, she turned to walk away, and I hit the call button and attempted to get in contact with André. It just rang out and went to message bank.

I tried two more times on the way to the elevator with my bag, but each time, I couldn’t get through. “Sorry, I missed your calls. I’ve been in meetings all day,” I said by way of explanation on his message service. When I disconnected, I looked up at Milly and said, “Dave’s been trying to call.”

She nodded her understanding, and I slid my cell into my bag to hide it, feeling guilty for lying to my best friend as we rode the lift down and made general conversation about where Dave was and what he was doing overseas.

I didn’t know why I lied to her. I knew I didn’t have to. I could have just told her the truth – she would have understood. But the problem was,
I
didn’t understand what was going on. And until I did, I didn’t want anyone to know about André and me. People knowing would make it way too real. We didn’t have anything that was real. We didn’t.

***

“I
told you he wouldn’t be there,” I told Milly as I drove us to
Splinters
, the club we used as our home base every Friday night.

She had been very disappointed when we’d eaten and gotten ready, and there was no sign of André. I’d even ran upstairs, claiming I was busting for the toilet when we’d gotten back to make sure there really was no sign of André in my bedroom too. I hid the box of condoms. I made sure there were no wrappers and no random articles of clothing and no male toiletries around. And I changed out the bag in the trash, as that’s where all the used...well...you-know-what’s were, and I went and hid the used bag in the trash can in the main bathroom, knowing that Milly wouldn’t go in there, so it would be safe.

“So disappointing. Look how amazing my boobs look tonight.” She gestured to her ample bosom, pushed up and showing off her impressive cleavage in a black lace
BCBGMAXAZRIA
top that Catherine had procured for her at some point during the day. Milly looked like the sweet girl next door, and that drove men crazy wanting to bed her, and made girls jealous of her easy way with the opposite sex. Tonight, she had on her designer top with a leather skirt and a pair of
Valentino
‘Rockstud’ pumps that lengthened her already long slender legs. Her glossy dark hair was twisted in an elaborate knot on the side of her head, and her eyes were done perfectly in gold tones that made the blue pop and her to look like some sort of goddess.

“Forget André, there will be some gorgeous guy there tonight who takes one look at you and falls head over heels. To top it off, he’ll actually be a prince who’s masquerading as a pauper to find his true love. Before you know it, you’ll be whisked off to Saint Tropez, or wherever it is princes take their princesses-to-be, and you’ll never have to worry about comma placement and sentence structure ever again.”

She relaxed in her seat and sighed. “You should write romance. That would be a pretty great story.”

I shrugged. “It’s a fairy tale, Mill. I don’t have a romantic bone in my body.”

She turned to me. “Of course you do. I saw you with Jasper today. You were staring at him with your big baby blues. All you have to do with that man is click your fingers, and he’s yours.”

I stopped at a red light. “I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that he isn’t gay.”

She sat back again and giggled. “I can’t believe you thought that.”

“He’s
so
well dressed.”

“So are you. Look at you in your
Jimmy Choos
and that
Alexander McQueen.
He works in fashion.”

I turned to her for a moment. “Exactly.”

Laughing again, she ran her hands over her skirt, and the light changed so I started driving again. “You know, Catherine said that one of the models, Jess, I think her name was – she was in that bikini body spread we ran last month – well, she used to date Jasper, and went on and on about how great he was. Definitely still carrying a flame for him. Said he has quite the erm...member, and that he knows what to do with it too.”

I turned into the parking lot near
Splinters
. “Why are you pushing me to date him? I told you I don’t want to date. I’m fine on my own.”

She waited until I’d pulled into a space before she answered. “Because I love you, Will. You’re my best friend and you’ve been on your own for a long time.”

I looked away. “I like it that way. Please don’t push me,” I said as I got out of the car.

“Willa,” she said, and from the tone of her voice, I could tell she was worried she’d upset me.

“Drop it, Milly. Let’s just go and have fun.”

“OK,” she said with a smile, linking her arm with mine as we headed into the club. “Oh, I almost forgot. Catherine has a new beau. His name is Stuart, and he looks a lot like Wayne, so try not to mix up the names because they hate each other.”

“Who does? Stuart and Wayne?”

“Yeah. Some professional rivalry or something. Who knows?”

“I’m just going to not call him anything.”

“Good call.” Milly laughed as we said hi to the bouncers we’d come to know during our patronage at the club. They let us straight through and told us the others were already inside.

In the darkened atmosphere, clouded with fake smoke and flashing colored lights, music pulsed as Milly and I made our way over to the couches were we knew our friends would be. We found Catherine sitting on the lap of her latest, a drink in hand as she talked non-stop in his ear. He looked bored, but he was going to get laid later that night, so I knew he’d stick it out.

She got up when we approached to say hello with a hug and a cheek kiss.

Also there, where a few others from work and of course, Jasper, who immediately came over and hugged and kissed us hello as well. He offered me a drink. It was something he always did, and I used to accept, but now, things were different. Now, I knew he was straight and interested, so accepting one felt like a lie.

“I’m driving,” I said in his ear.

“Just one,” he replied. “You can always have fun and catch a cab home. Or you can always crash at mine. I live around the corner.”

I smiled and opened my mouth to speak, but all of a sudden, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and my whole body came alive.

“You are the best friend, ever,” Milly said in my ear, looking behind me and smiling, swaying her ass to the music.

Slowly, I turned. Across the room, standing by the bar was André. He was talking to a girl with long blonde hair – an Amanda lookalike – and he was watching me. My stomach soured. My heart soared. I needed a drink.

“I can’t believe you got him here!” Milly was smiling, thinking I’d done her a massive favor.

“Wait here,” I said to her, holding up my finger, before pushing my way through the crowd to André. I watched him turn around and signal the girl behind the bar. By the time I got there, he had a beer in his hand, and he was offering it to me.

“Hot date?” he asked, handing it to me.

I took it and drank from it thirstily, draining the bottle before handing it back to him. When he took it from me, he was sure to wrap his hand around mine.

I felt light headed.

I needed something stronger.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“You told me to stay out of the house. I’m doing you a favor.”

“But why here?”

“I came with friends. This is a complete coincidence. I didn’t know you were coming here with a date. Let me guess, that’s Jasper? You two look very nice together. Don’t forget our deal. You can’t sleep with him until you end things with me. But, you also can’t end things unless both of us agree. And I’m still not done.”

“I’m not interested in Jasper,” I snapped, beginning to get sick of people trying to push him on me.

“Just like I’m also not interested in...” He leaned over to the blonde who was still standing beside him. “What was your name again?”

“Stacy,” she yelled with a smile as she danced on the spot to the music and drank something that looked like fruit punch.

“Stacy,” André repeated as he turned his attention to me. “She’s quite beautiful, don’t you think?”

I frowned. “What are you doing?”

“Staying out of the house as you asked.”

“André!” Milly’s voice bellowed over my shoulder as she held out her arms and hugged André like an old friend. He looked at me while he embraced her with an amused expression on his face.

That man infuriated me. What was he playing at?

“I didn’t expect to see you here. How are you enjoying LA?”

I rolled my eyes. “I need another drink,” I said to myself, suddenly feeling my stomach twist in a way that made me want to hit out at someone. I swallowed the feeling down and moved to another section of the bar and signaled the bartender. “Vodka martini.” I’d never had one before, but it was the strongest thing I could think of.

He mixed it and set it in front of me. I downed it in one gulp and waved my hand at him, signaling that he give me another as I handed him my credit card. “Keep the tab open,” I said.

Nodding, he mixed another martini, and I downed that too.

“Fun won?” Jasper asked, arriving by my side.

I glanced over to André who was holding a conversation with both Milly and that Stacy girl.

Nodding in answer to Jasper’s question, I lifted my hand to the bartender, and downed my third martini in a very short period of time.

Turns out they’re strong.

Really strong.

Suddenly, the alcohol seemed to hit me all at once, and I became the life of the party, dancing, flirting, doing shots with random people I’d never met. Somewhere in my drunken mind I was showing André that I didn’t need him. I was trying to push him away – to force him to go home with someone else and hurt me just enough that I’d never go back to him. He’d be out of my system then.

Jasper was eventually the one who intervened and pulled a shot of tequila from my hand before it managed to make its way to my mouth.

“I think you’ve had enough, Willa,” he said, taking a hold of my waist and guiding me away from the group. He said something about fresh air, and I went with him, stumbling, swaying.

Once outside, he walked me to my car and sat me down on the bonnet then pressed a bottle of water in my hands. “Drink,” he instructed.

I did as I was told. The world was spinning. My mind was hurting. I didn’t know what was going on, but all I could think about was André inside with Milly and Stacy, and whatever other girl he’d managed to pick up. He was so damn good looking, he could have had anyone.

“Oh god,” I moaned. Everything was so heavy. I’d drunk far too much.

“Want to tell me what’s going on with you?” Jasper asked, holding me up with one arm on my shoulder and the other holding up my head. “I’ve never seen you get this wasted before. I’m worried.”

“I fine,” I slurred, not making a lot of sense, even to myself.

Jasper pressed his lips into a thin line. “I like you, Willa. I care about you. And right now, I’m worried about you. Why don’t you tell me what happened? Who was that guy you were talking to?”

I looked up at him. He had two heads.

“He maksh me feel. I don’t. I don’t want feelings. I don’t wah...want...” I was gasping and talking. My mind was a swirling mess of emotion and alcohol, my words much the same.

“I’ll take her home.”

I heard the accent. I knew it was him. I was a mess, and I didn’t want him to see me like that.

“No,” I protested. “You are the worst.” I had to form each word carefully to make sure it came out of my mouth correctly.

Jasper turned around to face André, and he blocked my vision, trying to protect me from him. It was kind of sweet, but I knew he’d never have a chance against André. André was so big...

I loved André’s muscles. I needed to add that to the list...

“I don’t think she wants to leave with you,” Jasper stated.

“I don’t think you understand that I didn’t ask for your permission. Move out of the way, I’m going to take her home.”

Even drunk, I could hear the shaking in Jasper’s voice. “I can’t let you do that.”

“Get out of my way.”

Jasper went to defend me again, but I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him. “It’s OK. He’s my roommate.”

He turned to me with concerned eyes. “Are you sure?”

I nodded my head. “I’m sorry, Jasper.”

Pressing his lips together in a firm line, he nodded. “I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re OK.”

Again, I nodded as he moved away from me and André moved in, catching my drunken body in his big hands.

“Jasper,” I called out, leaning against André as he helped me stand. He stopped and looked back at me. “Don’t tell anyone.” He gave me a nod, slid his hands into his pockets then left.

“Are you that embarrassed by me?” André asked. The world continued to spin.

“I’m embarrassed by me.”

“Why?”

“I’m not very strong. And I’m so incredibly lonely. No one stays. I drive them all away. I don’t know how...I...it’s my fault. Everything. It was my fault.”

He cupped my face with his hands, looked into my eyes with an expression that hurt my heart. Then he opened his mouth to speak.

I threw up.

***

“T
ake this.” André offered me a glass of water and two aspirin. “It’ll help you feel better in the morning.”

His voice was so soft as he spoke to me, sitting beside me on the bed. He’d taken care of me all night. He’d held my hair when I was sick, he’d bathed me when I began to feel better, and now that I’d drunk the water and taken the medicine, he was stroking my damp hair as I began to succumb to a drunken slumber.