Beginnings of the Heart (11 page)

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The next several weeks at school were not at all what I expected. It was apparent two days after my meetings all the teachers knew. It only took half a day later for all the students to hear about it. Word always traveled much faster in the hallways.

I was the subject of wide-eyed stares, whispers, and even a few glares. The latter I tried to ignore while the former I had expected. My friends' reactions were positive after the explanation for not telling them sooner had been given.

Bree was almost as excited as I was. She came to school the day after everyone found out with a gift for the baby. It was beautiful pink frilly dress with a matching headband. I just looked at her. I'm sure with my mouth hanging open.

“Oh, say thank you. Just make sure she wears it for her Aunt Bree.” She told me right before she hugged me.

“Wow, it's so pretty and… tiny. You shouldn't have though. We don't even know whether the baby is a boy or a girl yet. Thank you. It's the first official present for the baby.”

I turned and put the gift into my locker, and went to our first class.

“You mean Cole hasn't gotten the baby anything yet?” Bree asked.

“No, but he did get me a charm for my bracelet.” I lifted my arm to show her the bracelet Cole had given me for my sixteenth birthday.

“Oh, it's so sweet. I knew he would have given you something. I'm still not convinced he hasn't gotten anything for the baby yet. You just don't know about it yet.” She smiled at me as she sailed into class.

I stopped at the door and looked up at Cole, who was leaning against the wall outside of my first class. He hadn't really been on the receiving end of any criticism at school. I actually found myself hoping he might get a little from someone. Must be the hormones talking.

“What was Bree talking about?” he asked.

I leaned on the wall next to him. “She gave me a present for the baby. It's a little pink dress, and she figures you've gotten something for the baby. So, have you and you just haven't told me?” I pinned him with my eyes.

“I got you the charm.” He said while looking down at my bracelet I had started wearing after everyone knew.

“Doesn't really answer the question. Oh well, I have plenty of time to wheedle it out of you.” I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “I have to go, but I'll see you in a bit. Have a good class.”

I left him in the hall staring after me. By the end of my first class I was convinced Bree had been right. If he didn't have something for the baby, then he would have just said so. What he did was try to distract me with the charm bracelet.

Cole effectively avoided the questioning I had planned for him all day. By the time he showed up at my house after dinner I was ready for him. Or so I thought.

Again he neatly sidestepped any questioning I tried. Finally he told me it wasn't something he was ready to talk about, and it wasn't just from him. His parents were in on it as well, and I would just have to wait until it was time to show it to me.

I snorted in reply and turned back to the homework I was trying to complete before I was too tired to think straight. I finally finished, laid my books aside, and curled up next to Cole on the couch. He stretched his arm along my side and hugged me closer.

I loved moments like this where if I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine we were doing all of this in the right order. We would have been married and all of our family would be excited about the baby we were going to have.

And then reality would find a little crevice in which to slide through and not so gently prod me back into its grasp. Because of our situation and the lack of emotional support from my own mother, I found myself relying more and more on Cole for support and by extension his family.

Promptly at eight my mother showed up in the entry to the living room. I was becoming convinced she waited outside of the room just so she could be the one to tell Cole it was time to leave. The thing of it was she never actually spoke to Cole. She was still stubbornly silent and just made sure her presence was felt at the right time. It was annoying.

I walked Cole to the door to say goodbye and after he left, turned around to find her right there just like every other night. Only this time I couldn't keep my mouth shut and just go to my room.

“How long do you think you're going to continue giving me and Cole the silent treatment? I was just wondering because at some point you're going to cross over from just being upset about the baby to being downright rude.” I stared her right in the eyes so I wouldn't miss any part of her reaction.

“Well I'm sorry you feel I'm being rude. Maybe you should have thought about how all of this was going to affect your family instead of just doing what you wanted to do. Having an adult relationship when you're sixteen isn't something anyone should be doing. It's called an ‘adult relationship' for a reason. There are always consequences, Morgan, and you're discovering it now.” She glared at me.

“Mom, I know there are consequences to my actions, and yes, Cole and I are dealing with them. I'm just not sure you are yet.” I walked past her and went to my room. I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut. Now it was probably going to get worse, but at the moment I was too tired to think about it. I changed my clothes and crawled into bed. Tomorrow was another day and maybe, just maybe, my mother would think about things and act a little differently toward me and Cole. And maybe pigs would fly.

Pigs didn't fly, but at least my mother made an effort to talk to me. She still ignored Cole. She only spoke to him when he asked her a direct question or addressed her. I think he only did it to get under her skin, but Cole told me once he wanted to know how far he could push her before she snapped.

I didn't know if he meant snapped at him or her mind. I wanted to see for myself how far she could be pushed, and I didn't ask partly because I didn't want to know. Even after everything she said or did the fact remained, she was still my mother.

The changes at home were in direct correlation with the changes to my body. I was showing, but because of the clothes I was wearing, most people didn't even notice. The bigger I got, the tenser things got at home. It seemed as though my mom was making an effort, and my dad appeared to have accepted he was going to be a grandfather.

Cole loved to sit at night with his hand on my belly. I had felt the baby move, but he hadn't yet and he desperately wanted to. My dad had even tried to feel the baby move a few times, but he didn't try for very long. It may have been pushing the boundaries of his acceptance.

One night we were sitting on the couch and the baby was dancing up a storm. I kept moving Cole's hand around to see if he could feel it.

“Did you feel it?” I asked.

“No. You have to move my hand faster. I keep missing it.” Cole said.

I waited for the baby to move again, and when it did, I pushed his hand hard against the spot on my belly. Suddenly the baby kicked and Cole jerked.

“Oh my goodness! That was the baby? There it was again.” He looked at me with a huge smile on his face. “Oh my goodness! Does it hurt?” he asked even as he laid his face against my belly.

“No. It feels a little weird though. Like an alien is going to come popping out any minute.” I ran my fingers through his hair as he lay on me. “I love you.”

“I love you more. Did you remember next week we're having the ultrasound? You still want to know what the baby is, right?”

“Yes, it's all I can think about. I'm so excited to find out. I'll feel better after we know so I can start planning what we're going to need.” I hesitated for a moment. ”I know you want a healthy baby, but what are you really hoping for? Tell me.” I pleaded.

He looked up at me from where he was. “Honestly, I really want a little girl. She would be so absolutely spoiled it would be great.”

“Great for you maybe. Someone will eventually have to tell her no, and I have a feeling it won't be you.” I giggled.

“You're probably right.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I think I hear your mom, and I think she just heard everything we were saying.”

Two seconds later his suspicion was confirmed. My mother appeared like she did every night, only tonight I saw a confusing mixture of emotions play across her face.

“I was just telling Morgan good night, Mrs. Taylor.” Cole said from his position on my belly.

He received a kick to the face from the baby for talking loud. As he jerked away I laughed, and my mother scowled at both of us. It only made me laugh harder, and then Cole joined in. I patted my belly, and Cole leaned down and kissed it.

Apparently it was all my mother could take. Her face turned red and she looked like she was about to explode. Cole suddenly got to his feet and pulled me up beside him. His smile had disappeared, as had mine.

Cole and my mother just stared at each other. I held my breath and waited to see if this was the explosion Cole had been pushing for.

My mother's face suddenly crumbled and she started to cry. “I just don't understand how the two of you can be so happy about this. It's not going to turn out the way you think it will. He's going to leave just like my dad did and then you're going to be all alone with a baby. Nothing will ever be right for you again.” Mom turned and walked away from us and went down the hall.

I was stunned, and I let my breath out in a whoosh. I looked up at Cole and he was as stunned as I was.

“I was expecting something different.” He whispered. “What was she talking about? I thought your grandpa died? Do you know what she means?”

“No idea.” I said.

“If I leave you here, are you going to be okay? Is she going to start something with you after I leave?” he asked, sounding concerned.

“I'll be fine. Besides, she isn't going to want to come out and talk about it.” I turned and urged him toward the door. “I'll call you if anything happens, and you can come and get me. Do you feel better?” I asked.

“Not really, but it'll have to do. You have to promise me you'll call no matter what time it is. My cell is going to be right next to my head so I'll hear it. I probably won't sleep much now anyway. Promise me and I'll go before your dad comes out here.”

“I promise to call at any time no matter what. Really, it'll be fine.” I opened the door and stood in it. A surprisingly warm breeze swept in and I could smell the approaching spring and I hoped the nights were going to get a little warmer now.

Cole stepped up beside me in the doorway. “I love you. Remember, no matter what time.”

“I love you more and I'll remember, but it won't be necessary.” I assured him.

He kissed me and then bent and kissed my belly. He looked back when he got to his truck like he was struggling against coming back and carrying me home with him. I waved at him and started to shut the door, which made the decision for him.

I watched him drive away through the window and then went to my room. I wasn't surprised to find Samantha there waiting for me. I was sure she wanted the full details on the latest in what was becoming a string of confrontations.

“What happened? I was coming down the hall when Mom came the other way, and she was crying.” Samantha said, sounding surprised.

I sat down on the bed next to her and scooted until my back rested against the headboard and relayed what had happened.

“What's it all supposed to mean?” Samantha asked me.

“I have no idea.” I grimaced at Samantha.

“So Cole wants a little girl, but do you still want one or have you changed your mind?” Samantha asked.

She threw me a little with her change in subject. “No, I haven't changed my mind. I still want a little girl. I can almost picture her. Do you think it's weird?”

She thought for a moment and then answered. “No, I don't think so. Will you be disappointed if it's a boy?”

“No, I'll be happy either way. What I'm hoping for is a healthy baby and a quick recovery from the birth. The way Mom is acting I don't expect she'll be a big help when I come home from the hospital, and I highly doubt Cole will be welcome to stay the night here to help me out.”

“Are you nervous about giving birth?” she asked me.

“A little. I am
so going to have the drugs, though.” I said as a really big yawn caught me off guard.

“I'll let you go to bed. I'm tired tonight, too, what with softball practice starting and all. Do you miss not playing this year?” she turned around and asked.

“I do.” I smoothed my hand over my belly. “I wish this hadn't happened because I'm going to miss out on a lot of stuff. But there's a happy part of me too. So…”

“Yeah, I understand. Well goodnight, and don't worry anymore about coming home from the hospital. I'll help if you need it.” She said and then smiled. “But I do draw the line at poopy diapers.”

I giggled before saying, “Thanks, for everything. Goodnight.”