Beginnings of the Heart (13 page)

She pushed Cole's hands off of my belly and replaced them with her own. “Cole, say something so she'll kick for me.” Cecelia ordered.

He complied with his mom's request, and she didn't have long to wait. Apparently Victoria was in the mood to cooperate today.

“Oh, how wonderful. Thank you for letting me feel her.” Cecelia's voice sounded hoarse and there were tears in her eyes. “Well, I have some plans to make, and I'm sure the two of you would like some time to yourselves. Come on Mark, you can help me, and don't give me a look. You know you're just as happy as I am right now.”

After they left Cole threw his arms around me and pulled me close, locking his lips on top of mine. I slid my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Eventually we had to stop. We continued to hold on to one another as we caught our breath.

“Do you really like the name Victoria or are you just trying to make me happy?” I asked after my heart had returned to a more normal rhythm.

“I really do like it. I think you're right, it just kind of fits. Now you tell me, you've thought about the nursery thing more than just a few times, haven't you?” He looked into my eyes searchingly.

“Yeah. I try not to think about it too much because I'm trying to focus on what I have versus what I wish. It doesn't do any good to wish when I know I'm not going to have it. Besides, in a few more months I'm going to have a whole lot more to worry about than whether or not I have the nursery of my dreams.”

“I know you're focusing on what we have which is a whole lot more than someone else might have, but I really wish I could give you what you really want.” He placed both of his hands on either side of my face and stared into my eyes. “I'm so sorry this is happening now instead of five or six years from now.”

I reached up and took hold of both his wrists. “There's no need to be sorry. We both wish this hadn't happened now, but it did and there is a reason for everything. We are supposed to go through this now for some reason, and we may never know why. I love you and I love Victoria and nothing else matters.”

“Not even the perfect nursery?” he teased.

“Not even the most beautiful and perfect nursery.” I kissed him lightly on the lips. “So what do you want to do now? I don't have to be home for another four hours. Of course I'm not sure I can stay awake until then.” I smiled at him.

“I'm not sure I can stay awake either. What with school and working for Dad, I'm starting to wear out. I'll be glad when school is out and then all I have to do is work.”

“You know I could…“

“Don't even think about it. First of all, there aren't many jobs around here and second I really don't think anyone is going to hire you knowing you aren't going to be working for very long. I'm fine and believe me I have the easy part in all this. You have the hard part.”

“Fine.” I said, a little disgruntled, “but if all of this starts to interfere with school and your grades, it wouldn't be good.”

“I'm not going to let it interfere with school, and my parents would really be upset then. We only have two-and-a-half months left of school, and it's going to go by fast.” Cole said, settling more comfortably with me in his arms against the back of the couch.

“I know.” I smiled and ran my hand over my belly. “I really need to start getting organized. Do you think we need all the stuff your mom was talking about tonight? I've never even heard of half of it.”

“I have no idea, but my guess is probably not. I mean, how much does a baby really need? A bed, diapers, clothes, and bottles, right? Anything else just makes everything easier on the parents.” He finished with a yawn.

“Why don't you take me home now and then you can get to bed? You have to work tomorrow, and all I have to do is homework and laundry.”

“But you don't have to be there for another three-and-a-half hours, and I hate not being with you.” Cole said.

“I know, I don't like leaving you either, but we can still do something tomorrow night. Besides, it has been a long day and I'm getting tired. Come on, take me home and call me tomorrow when you're done working.” I nudged him until he got up.

“Fine, but promise you'll think of something for us to do tomorrow. We can tell your parents we'll be here and then go do something else.” He looked at me pleadingly.

“Okay.” I said reluctantly. “I'll think of something, but it probably won't be anything exciting.”

“As long as I'm with you, whatever we do will be great.”

The next two months flew by as predicted, and I was now almost thirty-six weeks. School was out for the summer, I had succeeded in getting my driver's license, and Cole and I had been shopping. We added only a few things to what his mom had already purchased. I didn't think Victoria would need any clothes for the first year of her life at least.

I was getting excited and couldn't hide it in front of my parents any longer. Cole and I decided it was time to bring the crib and changing table we had bought months earlier and set it up in my room. I really wanted to get as much organized as I possibly could.

“Okay, Morgan. Where do you want it all? I don't want to move everything more than once if at all possible.” Cole stood in the middle of my room with his arms crossed over his chest.

I pointed to where I wanted everything. The crib was going into the corner next to the window seat and the changing table at the end of the crib. My bed was being moved up against the wall across from the crib and my dresser at the end of the bed. I was lucky I had a room big enough to accommodate all of the furniture.

“Well, it all fits. Now all we need to do is make the crib up and load the shelves of the changing table with all of her stuff.” I beamed at Cole.

He put his arms around what used to be my waist and lowered his voice so it wouldn't carry. “You know if you would just move out of here and in with me there would be plenty of room for everything.”

“I haven't made my mind up to do anything other than what we are already doing.” I said, just as quietly. “If I change my mind you will be the first to know. I promise.”

“I don't like it, but okay, for now. So what else do you need from me?” Cole asked.

“I need the bags from your truck with all of the bedding I got and the clothes your mom got for Victoria.” I said.

“I'll be right back.” He turned around in my doorway and looked at me. “You know you're beautiful, right?”

“So you say.”

“I do say. I'll be right back.”

I turned around and surveyed my room. It didn't look much different to me, but I was happy about the changes coming. I kept hoping we could get most of it done before my parents got back home. The coward in me hoped Cole and I were already gone by then.

“How much stuff did my mother buy? I mean, are we going to have to get anything else for the baby? There are still three more bags in the truck.” Cole exclaimed from the doorway.

He had a huge garbage bag I had stuffed all of the crib bedding into after I'd washed it at his house and one small shopping bag with clothes. I giggled as he got caught in the doorway and then pushed through.

“I don't think we'll have to buy much for her until after the first year. Your mom bought outfits in various sizes and seasons already. I only brought the newborn stuff over here. I don't have room for everything.” I smiled apologetically.

“You mean there is still more at my house?” He mumbled from the other side of the mattress I was putting a cover and sheet on.

“Yes. Okay, put that back in and then the crib will be done.” I stepped back to look at it after I finished everything.

The bedding we had found was beautiful. It had a cream background with little red rosebuds and a deep red ruffle around the edges of the bumper and quilt.

“Wow, it's so cute. Do you need any more help or are you done?” Samantha said from the bathroom door.

“I still have to put all of her clothes on the shelves if you want to help.” I smiled at her.

“I'll just go get the rest of the stuff. You two can do… whatever it is you need to do.” Cole said before retreating.

“Do you really like it? I'm getting excited about her getting here.” I said.

“I think it looks really cute. Where did you get all of this anyway? I mean, it couldn't have been cheap to pay for all of this.” Samantha asked.

I told her about our trips to the secondhand stores and about all of the stuff Cole's mom had bought. We looked at everything as we put it away on the shelves of the changing table.

There wasn't room for everything so we ended up putting what we wouldn't need right away in my closet on the shelf. We all heard my parents' car pull into the driveway, and Samantha made a very hasty exit.

We heard her exchange greetings with my parents as they passed each other on the front porch and then the approaching footsteps. I couldn't make myself look up when they paused outside of my door, and I just kept folding clothes to put on the shelves.

“Wow, this looks… different. I didn't expect you to do all of this so soon.” My mother said as she entered the room to take a closer look.

“Morgan wanted to get everything organized.” Cole explained.

“She's always been a very organized girl. I like the crib, it's very cute. I'll leave you two to finish up.” She left without another word.

Cole and I just looked at each other, and I shrugged my shoulders. I finished folding the last of the clothes and then reached my hand out so Cole could help me get up from the floor.

“We better get going or your friends will think something happened. You're supposed to be there in five minutes.” Cole reminded me.

My friends, led by Bree, were throwing me a baby shower. I told them it was unnecessary, but they didn't listen to me. We said goodbye to my parents and then Cole drove me to Bree's house.

“Are you sure you don't want to come in?” I asked him.

“Oh, I'm very sure. I'll be back to pick you up in a few hours, and then we're going to my house. I have something for you and Victoria.” He smiled at me.

“What is it? You should tell me you know. I'm in a very delicate condition.” I said, trying to guilt him into answering me.

“It's not going to work so you'll just have to wait. I'll see you soon.”

“Okay.” I said, grudgingly. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

I waved at him from Bree's porch as she opened the door behind me. As I turned and walked into her house and saw all of my friends sitting around her living room, I couldn't help but wonder how many of their parents actually knew where they were this afternoon.

“Now, we want you to relax and try to enjoy yourself. Since you told us Cole's Mom has taken care of all of the clothes, we decided to pitch in and get you as many diapers as possible. My mom helped a lot since none of us had a clue about what kind or sizes to get.” Bree announced.

I took a closer look at the room and finally saw the small mountain of diapers off to one side. “Oh my goodness! Thank you so much. It's the one thing I haven't even thought about buying yet. Wow.” I was blown away by my friends' thoughtfulness.

“Now for the rest of the time we have you in our clutches, we are going to give you a spa day. Complete with manicure, pedicure, and massage.” Bree explained.

“I really don't think it's necessary.”

“We knew what you were going to say. So, we made sure Cole wouldn't be back to get you anytime soon.” Bree beamed at me. “And since you can't run away anywhere, you're officially our prisoner.”

I gave in since she was right. I couldn't even walk fast anymore. So two hours later saw me with my feet propped up with freshly painted finger and toe nails.

We had all laughed and caught up. It seemed like a very long time since I was able to just hang out with my friends. My life had been consumed with my problems.

“So tell us, does it feel weird when she moves around?” Bree asked.

Everyone was looking and waiting for my response.

“Not really. At first I didn't even know I was feeling her. Then it got stronger and pretty soon Cole could feel her too. She responds to his voice. He'll talk to her and she'll kick. He thinks it's great.” I smiled.

“You are really lucky Cole is who he is. Any other boy would have run the other direction.” Andrea put in.

“I know. I said something similar once. He said something like what else did I really expect him to do.” I said.

“Are you scared about giving birth? I would be terrified.” Shannon said.

“A little bit. I'm totally having the pain medication, but I'm more nervous about bringing her home. I mean, how am I supposed to know what to do? What if I do something wrong?” I confided to them.

Bree's Mom, Angela, is the one who answered. “No one ever knows what to do. We all just figure it out as we go. It won't take long before you know what she needs and there will be times when nothing will work and you just have to be very patient and rock her or walk with her. Sometimes babies just cry.” She said with a small smile.

I gave her a weak grin back and looked around at my friends. I was suddenly gripped by a painful longing to just be one of them again. I was going to be a parent and have other, more important things to think about when all I might want to do is nothing at all.

Just then there was a knock on the door, and Bree skipped over to answer it. She was always so carefree, and I envied her right now. When she opened the door Cole was standing there and she ushered him in, even though he looked like he wanted to stay on the porch.

I relaxed instantly upon seeing him, like I always did. I wasn't at all sure what I would have done if he hadn't been so supportive this whole time.

“So are you girls all done holding her hostage or should I come back later?” he asked.

“We're done for now. After the baby's born we'll have to kidnap her again to give her a little time off.” Bree smiled conspiratorially with all of our friends.

I groaned and then hefted myself out of the chair I was in. “Thank you all very much. It really was fun and very relaxing to just be here with you guys today.” I hugged each of my friends and Bree's mom.

Everyone picked up some diapers and helped carry them out to Cole's truck. I waved to all of them one last time as we drove away toward Cole's house. I felt a little like I was leaving them forever instead of just for a day. Almost like the next time I saw them it would all be very different.

“Did you really have a good time or were you just saying so for their sake?” Cole asked.

“I did have a good time. At first I didn't want to just sit there and have them do my nails and stuff, but after they got started it felt really good. My feet aren't as swollen. What have you been up to?” I asked, wondering how he would answer.

“Not much. Just getting a few things my dad asked me to pick up while you were at your shower. Mom is making dinner tonight, and she was hoping you'll be able to stay. Do your parents expect you back by any specific time?” he finished.

So he was going to totally avoid the mention of the surprise. “They don't expect me back for a while. I told them we would be out after the shower. We should probably drop all of these diapers off at the house before we go to yours.”

“You don't have anywhere to put them. We'll take the ones you'll need right away to your house and store the rest at mine. Besides, if Mom is going to watch Victoria for us during school, she's going to need diapers there too.” He said reasonably.

“I know. I can't believe we only have about four weeks left. It kind of flew by, you know? I thought I would have longer to prepare for everything. Now, it's almost here and…” I trailed off.

Cole reached over and took my hand in his. He rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand and then squeezed it. “We have everything this baby needs and thanks to my mother, everything she could ever want as well. I think she is living vicariously through us a little. She always wanted a girl, but they couldn't have any more kids after me so now she has a granddaughter she is going to spoil. It's a dream come true for her.” He smiled.

“I'm just glad she's going to have one grandmother who will accept her and love her unconditionally. I'm still a little unsure of my own mother.” I confided in Cole.

“Just keep doing what feels right and worry about everything else when it comes. You never know, with her starting to come around she might make it the rest of the way when Victoria is born. Babies have a way of finding the cracks in a person's armor. Victoria might be the key to your Mom's heart.” He looked at me in his all-knowing way.

“And maybe she'll be the key to the crazy part of my mother's brain and push her completely over the edge.” I mumbled back.

Cole laughed the kind of laugh I hadn't heard in a long time. We had both been caught up in worries and plans, things teenagers weren't supposed to shoulder yet. I couldn't help but join in and soon we were pulling up to his house, the mood between us lightened considerably.

His parents were both on their front porch sitting in the rocking chairs they had out there. After Cole helped me out of the truck we walked up onto the porch. Suddenly everyone had a huge grin on their face, and I was very suspicious.

I narrowed my eyes and looked up at Cole. “Let me guess, they're in on it, aren't they? You couldn't even give me a hint, but they know everything.” I accused him.