Beginnings - SF2 (34 page)

"Yep. But it's not too late to sleep on a nice private boat," she informed her with a grin.

"You just keep thinking, Jamie. It's clearly what you do best."

It didn't take long to load their gear since all they had was a duffel with warm coats and a bottle of wine. The night was cool, but not really cold given the time of year. The fog had not yet come in, and the stars were clearly visible as Ryan stood on the deck and leaned her head back to gaze at them. "I hate to go below on a night like this," she mused, as her partner walked up and snuggled against her side.

"We don't have to," Jamie said with a twinkle in her eye as she dashed down the stairs. A few minutes later she was back, lugging a very large cylindrical duffel. "As requested," she said with a flourish as she presented the bundle to her partner.

Ryan's quizzical expression turned into a delighted smile when she dumped the large, bright blue canvas hammock onto the deck. "Where do we hang it?" she asked excitedly.

"One end on the mast and the other goes on this standard my father had installed for just this purpose." She motioned for Ryan to hook up the mast end while she tugged her hook into place. "It's funny, though, he had this set up a couple of years ago, and I've never seen him and mother get into it," she said. "It might be one of those things that sounds better than it feels."

"One way to find out," Ryan said with a waggling eyebrow as she climbed in and patted the space next to her.

"I think I'd better get the wine and a blanket," Jamie mused. "Because I have the feeling we won't want to get out once we get in."

"I think you're psychic," Ryan smiled. "Let me help you."

They decided to go all the way and bring not only a blanket but a couple of pillows also. Ryan carried the bedding and tossed it all on the deck right next to her feet. "I think we'd better get in first and get comfortable, then add the blanket and pillows," she decided. She sat down first, bouncing a little to get the feel of the contraption. "Nice," she said with another wiggling brow.

"You lie down and then kinda hold it steady for me," Jamie instructed. Her partner did so, managing to maintain the stability of the hammock even as she was getting elbowed and kneed in various sensitive places.

"Geez, you've got sharp elbows!" Ryan cried as her partner finally got settled.

"Give me that mouth, and I'll take your mind off your pain," she smaller woman purred.

Only too happy to oblige, Ryan wrapped her arms around her lover and they spent quite a long time kissing and relaxing against one another. "I don't feel a thing anymore," she smiled when they broke their embrace.

"That's certainly not the reaction I was looking for," Jamie purred as she started to work on her neck.

"Oh, don't get me wrong," Ryan corrected as she leaned her head back sensuously as the nibbles and bites continued. "I feel plenty in all the right places. But I'm getting a little chilled. Blanket?"

"Sure."

Ryan leaned over a little farther than she had planned, causing the hammock to teeter on the edge of tossing them over. But she righted it with her arms and made another, more prudent attempt. Seconds later they were wrapped in the thick, warm blanket, pillows behind their heads, glasses of a rich red Cabernet in their hands. "La dolce vita," Jamie murmured, as they began to slowly rock the hammock while they sipped at the wine.

"This is pretty fine," Ryan agreed. The hammock actually made them feel like they were being cuddled while they were cuddling each other. Ryan was mostly on her back with Jamie nestled up against her side, her head resting on Ryan's strong shoulder.

"Can we just stay here until the AIDS Ride?" the smaller woman asked, her voice so soft it was nearly a whisper. "I feel so perfectly content."

Ryan knew the question was mostly rhetorical, so she didn't point out all of the logical reasons why that was impractical. Rather, she indulged in the fantasy herself. "It would be nice to just rock in this hammock under the stars every night," she mused. "Even though the city is right behind us, it feels like we're far away from everything."

"I'm terribly close to the only thing that matters," Jamie murmured softly against her neck. "When we're together like this, I feel so perfectly safe and protected. Like nothing can ever hurt me."

"I'll do everything in my power to make that dream come true," Ryan pledged with a kiss to her smooth, unlined forehead.

They rocked for a long while, sipping contentedly on their wine. Neither spoke, each caught up in her own dreams. They could hear the water gently lapping at the hull of the boat, and the gentle wind caused various parts of the vessel to clang and thump, but the overwhelming sensation was of a deep, intense stillness. Nearly a half-hour passed before Jamie broke the silence. "What are you thinking about?"

Ryan's low chuckle rumbled against her ear for a moment. "I was actually thinking about our honeymoon," she admitted. "Just kinda daydreaming about how it was going to be between us."

"Anything in particular you were thinking about?" Jamie asked in a seductive tone as she snuck her warm hand under the red sweatshirt and began to tease the soft skin her fingers found.

"Umm," Ryan said slowly, her lids fluttering a few times as she tried to maintain her focus. "I was just thinking about what a fantastic lover you're going to be."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she murmured. "Mostly that."

"What else?" the lips situated next to her ear demanded.

"Well, umm, I was thinking about things I'd love to do with you," Ryan said, her voice rising a bit as Jamie's hand crept beneath her waistband and snaked down her belly.

"Tell me," the smaller woman insisted. "Tell me just what you'd like to do to me."

Ryan actually giggled a bit as she considered her answer. Even though she laughed loud and long and often, Jamie had almost never heard the girlish giggle that now tickled her ear. "It's funny," she explained. "I keep trying to picture us in bed together, but I can never get past being stunned into paralysis by your body. In my fantasies, we're both naked and you're lying on your stomach. I keep trying to kick-start my brain to make my body react, but I just sit on my heels, staring at you, and I always find that I'm too overwhelmed to do anything!"

"I think you're going to be a bit disappointed in that area, Buffy," Jamie said with a chuckle. "My body's really nothing to go nuts over."

"Are you crazy?!" Ryan cried, pulling up on one arm so abruptly that they almost tumbled out again. "I've seen most of you, and I've got to tell you that your body just knocks me out! Even without seeing your hidden assets, my mouth goes dry sometimes when we work out together. And sometimes the sight of you in a little black dress just makes my knees week. You've got one smokin' hot body, girlfriend, and I can't wait until my mouth gets to taste every bit of that gorgeous skin."

Ryan couldn't see the color of her lover's skin, but she could feel the heat of her cheek where it rested against hers.

"Do you really feel that way, Ryan?" she asked in a very quiet, almost childlike voice.

Ryan smiled to herself, terribly relieved that her thoughts on the topic were completely sincere. She had complimented many women in the past and had always gone out of her way to praise body parts that really were not very attractive, if she sensed that her partner was insecure about a particular area. But she could be completely honest about Jamie's body. She leaned over the edge of the hammock and placed her glass on the deck to free up her left hand. Raising it to grasp Jamie's chin, she turned her head and held it steady so she could look directly into her eyes. "Jamie, I'm going to tell you the complete and unvarnished truth about my feelings."

She noticed that her partner's eyes grew large, and she looked as though she was preparing for a blow to the face.

"I have looked at thousands of women, and I've touched…well, I've touched a lot," she said, blushing a little when she even tried to guess the number. "And I've been very aroused by different parts of different women. I also have the ability to find something arousing about most women. It might just be their eyes or their legs…heck, one time I got turned on by a woman's feet! But I have never been with a woman whose total package was so pleasing to me," she said softly as she gazed deeply into her lover's eyes. "I mean that sincerely, Jamie," she insisted while leaning forward to gently kiss her lips. "I truly love your body, and I can hardly wait to explore all of the uncharted territory." Her waggling eyebrows caused her partner to laugh at her antics.

"You are so good at reassuring me about things," the smaller woman said with a note of amazement in her voice. "Will you always be able to do that?"

"I'll always try," Ryan vowed. "But I want to stress that I'm not just reassuring you. I meant every word that I said."

"I don't know why I'm so insecure," Jamie muttered. "I've got to admit that I feel beautiful when you look at me with that gleam in your eyes."

"This one?" Ryan asked, willing her eyes to take on their hungry, love-starved look.

"Oooh, that's the one," her lover murmured as she leaned forward to kiss the rose-tinted lips.

Jamie began kissing her partner with a slow, gentle, emotion-filled touch. In a very short while they were moaning into each other's mouths, their hands roaming all over each other's bodies. Ryan felt her control slipping dangerously, and she had to force herself to finally pull back. "We've gotta slow down!" she gasped, panting a bit.

Her lover buried her head against her chest and squeezed her so hard she nearly broke a rib. "I don't wanna slow down! I want to touch you everywhere, Ryan! Jesus!! This is just getting too hard!"

"I know, Honey," Ryan soothed. "It's really hard not to go further when we're in a nice quiet place like this." They rocked and held each other gently for a while, both of them throbbing with desire. "I think we've got to cut back a lot on the kissing and touching, Jamie. It's getting too hard for both of us. I mean, I'm just throbbing right now, and it doesn't feel so hot to just stay frustrated."

"Okay," Jamie agreed. "Let's try to keep it a little lighter between us. I still need to kiss you a lot, but let's sleep apart until the ride and let's try not to get so carried away."

"Are you sure you're okay with that?" Ryan asked, making eye contact.

"Yeah," Jamie replied, nodding her head briefly as she closed her eyes. "Perfectly sure. Unhappy as hell, but perfectly sure," she added with a wry chuckle.

They went below to sleep in the big berth in the bow of the boat. It took a while for Ryan to adjust to the rocking motion, but she found that she enjoyed the sensation once she got accustomed to it. The nicest part for her was to be able to smell the salt water and feel the heaviness of the air in her lungs. It was almost like camping under the stars, but a lot more comfortable.

"I think my seafaring heritage is kicking in," Ryan murmured as they snuggled in the cozy berth. "This just feels very, very comfortable for me…sort of like it's something I've done thousands of times…it feels a bit like home."

"Are both sides of your family connected to the ocean?" Jamie asked, realizing that Ryan had never mentioned what her family in Ireland did for a living.

"Yeah, pretty much. My mother's father was a fisherman, and near as I can tell, that was the family profession for many, many years. Their little town is very close to the water, so it makes sense that would be the choice."

"What about your father?"

"Well, his people come from Tralee, which is a bit inland, but still close to the water. His great-grandfather was a fisherman, but his grandfather wanted nothing to do with it and that's why he became a fighter. Career options were pretty darned limited for people from the lower classes, but he must have really hated fishing to choose bare-knuckle brawling over it."

"What did your grandfather do?" Jamie asked, realizing that Ryan was in a loquacious mood, and that she had better make good use of it.

"As little as possible," the dark woman said briefly in a tone that let Jamie know the door was closed. "Sleepy?" she asked, making it even clearer.

"Yeah, a little," her partner answered, knowing that pushing her lover was an exercise in futility.

"Come here," Ryan demanded, stretching her arm out for Jamie to curl into. When they got settled, the warm, soft tones of an old fishing song served as a gentle lullaby. Jamie wondered briefly if her lover had learned this song from her grandfather, but no more than five lines into the song she unconsciously lapsed into a very thick Irish accent.
I've never heard that one
, Jamie thought to herself with an internal chuckle.
Guess that answers my question.

Thursday morning found them bundling Caitlin into a thick jacket for a walk to the playground. Annie was home, but she appreciated the little break and jumped at the chance to do some grocery shopping alone for a change.

Rather than take the stroller, Ryan strapped the baby in a sturdy backpack for the six-block walk. Jamie entertained their passenger, walking behind her partner and making faces at the baby. The park was rather full despite the cold foggy morning, and Caitlin immediately found some likely-looking playmates.

When Ryan was a child, the neighborhood was filled with working-class people and lots of stay-at-home moms, but the Internet boom had brought many young professionals and their families into the Noe Valley. Many of them hired babysitters or nannies—often Spanish speaking immigrants--to watch their children. Ryan mused about this phenomenon while she watched Caitlin make some tentative overtures to another baby about her age.
That's exactly how young Irish women started out in this country in the late 19
^th
century—minding people's children and cleaning their houses. I wonder if Latinos will one day be as welcome here as the Irish are now?
There were ads in the local paper every week for agencies that promised au pairs from the British Isles, but she didn't see many young colleens from the Emerald Isle at the park this morning. A group of about six young Latina women chatted while they sipped cups of coffee and ate sweet rolls.

The kids at the park were all playing nicely, and everything was calm and peaceful in the cold morning. "That coffee looks delicious," Ryan said, looking longingly at the steam rising from the cups.

"You had your coffee, young lady," Jamie said pointedly.

"I can dream, can't I?" Ryan asked sweetly as she batted her eyes at her partner.

Her companion stood and held out a hand. "Gimme some money," she said with a mock scowl as she shook her head.

"You don't have to go," Ryan said unconvincingly.

"I don't mind, Love. I can get a cocoa and pick up a biscotti for the baby. She's nuts for the almond ones."

"Well if you're sure you don't mind…"

"I'd do anything to please you, and you know it," Jamie teased. "You and the little blonde one both have me wrapped around your little fingers."

"You're just a sucker for the Irish lassies," Ryan chided. "I'm just lucky I claimed you before some Kelly or O'Reilly or Shaunessy got their paws on you."

"Not a chance, Babe. I'm a sucker for O'Flahertys only." A little kiss on the forehead and she was gone, leaving Ryan to her musings.

Ryan generally tried to hang back and let Caitlin play with the other kids when they went to the park. She knew it was the right thing to do, but she still felt a little left out when the baby would spend ten or fifteen minutes totally ignoring her.
Guess I'd better get used to that
, she considered.
Someday she'll be a teenager and have no use whatsoever for her old cousin.

While she was considering her cousin's adolescence, an older woman appeared with a baby about Caitlin's age. The baby was cranky and out of sorts, and the woman looked like she'd had more than her fill of the child for the day. She dumped her onto the sand right next to Caitlin and plopped down on a bench about ten feet away. Ryan observed both of the newcomers, paying particular attention to the babysitter. The woman seemingly had no connection to the child. She barely looked in her direction and just seemed glad to be a few feet away from the wailing infant. The baby looked like she was having a bad day, but she obviously was not bonded in any way with the woman. Ryan sat down in the sand and tried to comfort the baby. The sitter certainly didn't seem to mind Ryan's attempt, but it was largely unsuccessful also. The baby was crying so loudly that the other kids seemed bothered by it. The other nannies cast a disapproving glance at the woman, but she was not paying enough attention to even notice their stares.

Some of the other kids now started to cry and, one by one, the other nannies buckled their charges into their strollers and took off for quieter playgrounds. Only Ryan, the seemingly deaf babysitter, and the two babies were left at the park after the others departed, and Ryan would have left if she weren't waiting for Jamie. The crying baby, while probably about nine months old, didn't have the motor skills that Caitlin had, and she kept falling over, getting sand in her face time and again. Ryan propped her up a few times, then finally held the baby on her lap. Still she cried, actually managing to increase the volume and the incessant sobs and gasps for breath.

After a while, she couldn't take it any more. Caitlin was getting annoyed and looked like she might cry at any minute. Actually, Ryan herself felt a little weepy, and she decided to ask the babysitter to take over. She carried the baby over to the woman and placed her on the bench next to her. "Maybe she needs a bottle or something," she lamely suggested.

The woman looked up at her with a look of total shock. "Pardon?" she asked in a clipped British accent, unaware that Ryan had even been holding the child.

"Your baby seems to be having a tough time today. Do you have anything that might calm her down?"

"Thank you for your concern," she said briefly, as she turned away from Ryan's gaze.

But the nanny made no move to provide comfort for the infant so Ryan persisted, "Don't you have a bottle for her? She seems hungry."

"Listen to me young lady," she said in a very sharp tone. "I'm trying to put this child on a schedule, and that schedule does not call for feeding at this time. Now if you have no further business with us, I'd prefer that you entertain your own child."

Ryan knew that this was truly none of her business, but she had a hard time allowing this woman to treat the poor little girl with such rigid disregard. She began to make another point, but as she did so, the baby started to teeter on the bench. Ryan made a grab for her, but the babysitter grabbed her first. She grasped her arm and yanked sharply, making the baby stop her crying for a few seconds. But when she started again, the sound that came out was unlike any Ryan had ever heard from an infant. She was nearly hysterical in a matter of seconds, and Ryan quickly realized that this time she was crying from pain. The babysitter just sat and stared as she wrung her hands in a helpless gesture. So Ryan quickly unzipped the little jacket and immediately realized that the baby's arm had come out of the socket.

The two women seemed to understand the severity of the injury at exactly the same time. The nanny looked at Ryan with very wide, terror-filled eyes, got to her feet and started running, covering ground at a surprising clip for one her age. Ryan's mouth dropped as her eyes bugged, but the screaming quickly brought her back to focus on her task. She now had two babies, one with a dislocated arm, the other crying from lack of attention. "I'll be right there, Caitlin," she soothed as she tried to focus completely on the child in her arms.

"What in the hell?" she heard over her shoulder and almost cried with relief at the sound of her lover's voice.

"Can you get Caitlin?" Ryan cried over the shrieks.

Jamie hustled over and did just that, setting the drinks on the concrete surround of the sand pit. "What in the hell is going on?" she repeated, shouting to make herself heard.

"Long story," Ryan said in a more normal tone as Jamie carried the Caitlin around to face Ryan. "Her arm is out of the socket." Ryan was bent over, carefully examining the little arm, seemingly determined to take some action on her own.

"What are you going to do?" Jamie asked, astounded that her partner would try such a thing.

"I'm gonna try to put it back into place," she muttered, not very happy to be interrupted.

"You can't do that!!" she cried.

Ryan gave her one of her best no-nonsense looks and declared, "Of course I can. If I do it, this baby will be spared at least an hour of terrible pain. It's worth the risk." With that, she placed her left hand on the baby's tiny chest, holding her firmly against the back of the bench. With her right, she grasped the little arm and slowly rotated it back and across the child's chest. She could feel a small pop as the bone slid back into place. The child's hysterical crying ceased immediately, though she still cried at a more moderate pace.

The dark head lifted, and the dancing blue eyes blinked up at Jamie. "I think I did it," she said, slightly amazed that she had even tried.

Jamie let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding and flopped down next to her partner. "Do you mind filling me in here?" she asked weakly. "Who is she, and why do you have her?"

"Don't know who she is, and I have her because her sitter yanked her arm out of the socket, got scared and ran!" Ryan said, just now grasping the entirety of the events.

"She ran?!"

"Yep. Like a sprinter," she muttered, turning her attention once again to the slightly quieter baby. "Wonder if she'd like half of a biscotti," she mused.

"I bought more than one, you know," her partner said with a laugh. "I knew there was a chance you'd steal Caitlin's!"

"Ha, Ha," Ryan smirked. She offered each baby a cookie and within minutes they were both contentedly gnawing away. "Now what?" she asked. "I hate to take her to the police station, but we have to report this."

"Let's go to Annie's and see what she thinks," Jamie suggested.

They did just that, and luckily Annie was home from shopping. "I think we should call the Department of Children and Family Services," she advised. "The police will get them involved anyway, and if we go direct she might not have to spend time in the station house. Let me call someone at the hospital and see if we have any good contacts."

She made a few phone calls and finally got hold of a very nice social worker. When Annie identified herself, the woman said they could keep the baby while the paperwork was being written up. Ryan got on the phone and made a complete report, mentioning every detail she could remember. The social worker promised to call back after she had notified the local police station, since that was likely where the parents would begin their search.

When Ryan hung up Annie mused, "I've seen this baby at the park before. I think she lives really close." As she was talking, she sat down at the small desk they had wedged into the corner of the kitchen. She turned on her computer and printer and quickly drew up a notice stating that they had found a brown-haired, brown-eyed baby girl, about nine months old, at Douglas Playground. She listed the number of the police station and her contact at DCFS, and after playing around with the font size, she printed off 30 copies and sent Jamie to ring every doorbell on the two main streets near the park.

An hour later, the messenger returned. "I'm pretty sure she lives on Diamond, right by the park," she related. "A neighbor said there's a baby that fits that description there, and she thinks the mother just went back to work a week or so ago. I handed the flyers out to everyone who was home and taped them to the doors of the houses where I didn't get an answer."

"Good girl," Ryan praised her as she bent to kiss her on the head. The babies were both in Caitlin's playpen, mostly ignoring each other--as babies that age tend to do. The visitor had stopped crying, however, and Ryan was terribly happy about that.

By the time Ryan had to get ready for work, both babies were down for a nap. Jamie decided to stay and help Annie with them, but they promised to call Ryan with any news.

"If the parents don't want her we, could always keep her," she reminded Jamie as she batted her big blue eyes at her.

"First comes love, then comes marriage," Jamie teased in a sing-song voice. "Then comes a long period of nothing but hot sex,
then
comes Ryan with a baby carriage," she added, spicing up the nursery rhyme a little bit.

"Spoilsport," Ryan mumbled as she walked down the street to pick up her motorcycle.

When Ryan returned from work, the baby's parents had just arrived to claim her after a trip to the police station to file charges against their erstwhile nanny. The mother, Michelle, told Jamie and Annie that she had just gone back to work after seven months of maternity leave. She claimed that they had thoroughly checked the references of the nanny, but it was obvious that she was too distraught to discuss the matter at much length.

The baby, Taylor, was overjoyed at her mother's return, but everyone in the room knew the joy was short lived. Robert, the father, grasped the tiny child in a tight embrace and spoke softly to her while the women briefly discussed the immediate future. "What will you do until you find another nanny?" Annie asked.

Michelle lifted her hands and covered her face as she shook her head roughly a few times. A deep sigh preceded her answer. "I…I guess I'll just have to stay home," she mumbled.

Robert gave her an incredulous look as he said, "Honey, you have your first trial starting tomorrow! You can't miss that!"

She looked at him with a face full of angst. "What else can we do? You have to go to L.A. for that meeting—they'll have your hide if you skip that."

"No family in the neighborhood?" Annie asked.

"None in the state," Robert informed her as he bounced the baby in his arms. "I work for Bank of America. We were transferred here from North Carolina right after Michelle graduated from the University of North Carolina Law School. She got a job with Pillsbury, Madison & Sutro and things were going great, but we kind of unexpectedly got pregnant and they weren't very happy about that. She wants to be a litigator, and they put her on this important case with some senior attorneys. All she has to do is make the appearances just to get some experience, but if she isn't reliable, I'm afraid they'll pull her off."