Behind Enemy Lines (28 page)

“I’ve been too busy,” he protested.

She replied gently, “You’d have made time for love if you wanted it, Tom.”

His gaze slid away, and he went very still. He’d gone to a place inside himself where she couldn’t follow.

It was killing her to tear open his old wounds like this. It might very well cost her the man she loved. But he had to hear it. He had to face his demons once and for all.

She waited for several minutes, but he didn’t speak. Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore. “Tom, you’ve punished yourself worse than any one man deserves to be punished, by denying yourself love all these years.”

His gaze finally turned back to her, clear, calm and completely unnerving.

She managed to speak past the lump in her throat, “I never met Simon Pettigrew. But surely he wouldn’t have asked you to sacrifice everything—your life, your love, your very
soul
for him.”

Tom shook his head slowly. “No, he wouldn’t have.”

She waited for him to put words to his thoughts, which he clearly was struggling to do.

“You know, ever since I woke up in the hospital three months ago I’ve been afraid of what was happening to me. I didn’t know what it was. It felt like I was losing control of myself, and no matter what I did, part of me just kept slipping through my fingers.”

Annie tilted her head quizzically.

He continued slowly, searching for words. “The funny thing is, I spent all that time convinced I was losing the most important part of myself, when in fact I was finding it again.”

“What are you saying, Tom?”

“I’m saying you taught me how to feel again. You showed me that my well-being counted to somebody. That it mattered if I lived or died.” His voice trailed off to a near whisper. “You taught me how to love again, angel.”

A smile started deep down in her soul and burst forth throughout her entire being.

He held out his good arm to her. “Come here.”

She moved into the circle of his arm, perching on the bed beside him.

“So where were you for the past hour while I was asking for you?” he asked lightly.

Annie grimaced. “Getting my butt royally chewed by the admiral.”

“And a richly deserved butt-chewing it was,” he growled. “If you
ever
pull a foolish stunt like that again, young lady, I’ll kick whatever’s left of your butt into next year. Is that understood?”

She glared back at him. “No, it’s not. I’d make the same decision again any day of the week and twice on Sunday. There was no way I was leaving you to die. I nearly killed you once, and I won’t have that on my conscience a second time. I love you, darn it.”

“Is that a fact?”

She matched his belligerent tone. “Yeah. As a matter of fact it is.”

He smiled at her. “Glad to hear it. I was worried that when we got out of Gavarone and you were safe again, you’d realize you’d been clinging to me because you were scared and not because you truly cared for me.”

She laughed. “And here I was, worrying that I was just a convenient female and that you didn’t really care for me.”

He snorted. “Trust me. You were
not
convenient by any stretch of the imagination.”

She stuck her tongue out at him while he grinned at her.

“Are you sure you can stand being around a beat-up old remnant like me, angel?”

She considered him thoughtfully. “I think I might just be able to stand having someone like you hanging around.”

A smile lit up his face and went all the way to the back of his eyes. “And have you got any bright ideas on how to bribe me to stay in bed while I recuperate?”

“Well, I could kiss you. That is, if you promise to stay in bed the rest of the day.”

He considered her in turn. “Hmm. I’d need a sample before I accepted a deal like that.”

“I think we could arrange that.” Annie leaned down toward him but then stopped. She looked deeply into his midnight-blue eyes. “I thought I’d lost you today.”

For once, he didn’t sound casual about a close call with death. “I thought I’d lost you, too, angel. Don’t you ever do anything so heroic—or dangerous—again. You hear me?”

Annie laughed. “Only if you’ll agree to the same.”

He looked at her seriously. “The doctor says my femur’s shattered. I’m going to need surgery and some heavy-duty physical therapy to repair it. Today was it for me. My days as a field commander are over.”

She put her hand over his. “Oh, Tom. I’m so sorry.”

“You know, a few weeks ago, that would’ve torn me up pretty bad.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m hoping maybe you’ll agree to take a nice, quiet staff position at a boring, out-of-the way Air Force base while I run Charlie Squad’s command center.”

Annie’s heart skipped a beat. “What are you saying, Tom?”

He gave her a withering look. “What do you think I’m saying? I’m asking you to marry me!”

She started to fling herself at him and then remembered how badly he was injured. She stopped short of touching him.

“You’d better kiss me fast, angel, or I’m going to get out of bed and start doing calisthenics.”

Gazing lovingly into his smoky-blue eyes, she drew close to him. Just before her lips touched his, she paused long enough to whisper, “Welcome back from hell, Tom.”

ISBN: 978-1-4592-0105-7

BEHIND ENEMY LINES

Copyright © 2002 by Cynthia Dees

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