Being True (12 page)

“You should come,” Alison said with a nod. This time she was looking at me. Not Javi. “Everyone will be there.”

Why did it suddenly feel as if someone had walked all over my grave? I couldn’t stop shaking.

“What do you say?” he asked. He switched his gaze from me to Claudia and then back to me again. “We should all go.”

“I don’t think so,” Claudia answered with a snort. “Not my scene.”

Alison’s quick sideways glance at Claudia seemed to be her way of saying, “no shit.”

“Come on, Tru!” Javi pleaded. He wrapped his arm around my neck and drew me closer against him. His lips hovered mere inches from mine. His hot breath fanned across my ear and neck as he whispered, “It’ll be fun. I promise.”

There was no way I could turn down that offer. “Okay.”

Claudia warily glanced at me over Javi’s shoulder. She no doubt believed I was an idiot. And as I stared into Alison’s beaming face, I couldn’t help but feel she might be right.

A
FTER
SCHOOL
ended for the week, Javi and I made our customary stop under the elm tree in the park and then rode our bikes over to his house. His mother was at the store picking up groceries, so Javi threw his book bag on the couch, grabbed his pitcher’s mitt and baseball, which always sat on the sofa table, and led me outside to the backyard.

“I’m not any good at this,” I complained as I followed him out the back door and fumbled the spare mitt off the kitchen table where I’d left it yesterday.

He didn’t bother responding. No matter how many times I protested a rousing game of catch, which usually ended up with Javi chasing the stray balls I threw and me not catching whatever he hurled at me, he refused to hear anything other than “let’s play ball.”

“Ready?” He stood about twenty feet deep into the backyard. Did I have any other choice?

“I’m not so sure about this party anymore,” I said, hoping a serious discussion might derail Javi’s one-track, baseball-loving mind.

He scrunched up his face as he tossed the ball in the air and caught it in his glove. “Heather’s party? Why?”

“I won’t know anyone there.”

He scoffed. “You’ll know me. Who else is there to know?” He flashed his smile at me. Normally that would get me to do anything, but after the way Alison had grinned at me when lunch ended, I had serious doubts.

My gut told me Heather’s party was a disaster waiting to happen.

“I don’t think I’d fit in.”

“Oh, please,” he said. “From what I’ve heard and seen, you’ve been making new friends left and right.”

Yeah, right. They weren’t friends. Everyone who’d talked to me today had only done that because of my picture with Javi in the paper. They were trying to impress the hot, popular baseball star with the fact that they were cozying up to his freakish new friend.

After all, Javi stood at the top of the popular pyramid, and everyone knew he didn’t do cliques. If he liked someone, they followed suit. It was the name of the high school game.

“I’m not ready,” I said as I hesitantly put on the baseball glove.

“What does that mean? It’s not like I’m asking you to go bungee jumping.”

That was exactly what he was asking me to do. Except I doubted the safety harness would keep me from crashing into the jagged rocks below. “I’ve never had friends. Or been invited to parties. I don’t know how to act or what to do.”

“That’s easy,” he said, waving my concerns away. Sometimes that got pretty annoying. Just because he didn’t see the problem didn’t mean there wasn’t one. “Just be yourself. I like you for who you are. Even if you can’t ride a bike or catch a ball worth a damn. You have to give others the same chance. After all, how do you expect to make friends if you don’t get out there and meet people?”

Now he sounded like my mother. She told me the same thing every time she dropped me off at a new school. How often had that worked? Like never.

“So you’re going, and that’s final.” He gave me one firm nod to indicate the discussion was over. Most people might interpret his resolve as cockiness, but there was no nastiness in his intentions. He believed going to the party was a good thing, and I had enjoyed all the time we’d spent together this week.

Perhaps he was right. Maybe I was overthinking things and letting my fear lead me around by the nose. It was a difficult emotion to release when it had kept me relatively safe for so many years.

“Are you ready to play now?” he asked. If he were a racehorse, he’d be itching to get out of the gate.

When I nodded, Javi smiled and tossed the first pitch, which bounced off my mitt and rolled away from me.

“Keep your eyes on the ball,” he instructed. “From the time it leaves my hand till it reaches you.”

I was getting annoyed. What did he think I was doing? “Yeah, yeah,” I said, standing with the ball in my hand. “You sound like a broken record.”

Javi ignored my whining. “Follow the ball into the glove and create a pocket,” he said, demonstrating once again how to properly catch the ball. “Then bring your other hand to the glove to keep the ball in place.”

I answered with a wild throw that went to his far left. Instead of mumbling about my ineptitude, Javi smiled and chased after it. “We’ll get you there yet,” he said with complete faith.

Of course, he had self-confidence in his abilities. Besides baseball, he enjoyed most sports and watched pretty much every televised event except boxing. I had never watched a single one. “I don’t like this,” I announced for the umpteenth time. Javi wasn’t the only broken record around here.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I’m not good at sports,” I said as I gestured to what we were doing. He tossed the ball at me again, this time underhand. I tried to mimic Javi’s actions, but the ball hit the edge of the glove and fell away. “And since I’ve never learned how to play, I used to always get teased in gym class. When you get basketballs thrown in your face or tackled by your own team in football, you really start hating everything involved with sports.”

Javi nodded. “I guess I can see that. I’ve always played because my parents love sports. Watching them together is a family event with popcorn, hot dogs, barbeque, and soda. My mom is our personal concession stand.”

The faraway look in Javi’s eyes told me he’d been transported to fond memories. I had no such events to recall. The only sports recollections I had were of Bart telling me to shut the fuck up because the game was on. “That sounds fun,” I said. “And delicious.”

He laughed at my comment as I threw the ball again. This time it stopped short. Javi attempted to catch it, but it met the dirt before his glove could get under it. “It is.” He snatched the ball from the ground. I could tell by the twinkle in his eyes he’d just gotten an idea. “You should totally go with my parents to our preseason game in a few weeks. They’ll show you what it means to be a fan. Plus, you’ll get to see me play.”

The notion of Javi running around in tight baseball pants instantly filled my thoughts and caused a boner to crowd the confines of my briefs. I had to crouch like a catcher to readjust myself and hide my excitement. “That might be fun,” I said. But I wasn’t sold on the idea, no matter how hot he might look in his uniform. I really didn’t enjoy spending weekends with classmates like Alison and Stephanie, who typically went to every game.

“Might?” he asked. He couldn’t have been any more offended if I’d slapped him. He spanned the distance that separated us and glowered playfully down at me. “You doubt how fun it would be to see me play?” His lopsided grin grew into a full taunt.

“Oh, shut it,” I said before scooping up some dirt and throwing it at him. I was amazed I actually hit my mark. That was a first.

“You did
not
just do that,” Javi said, wiping dirt from his eyes.

I puffed up my small chest with pride. “I sure did.”

“Do that again, and you’ll be sorrier than when you face-planted off your bike.”

The slant to his lips was his way of double-dog daring me.

So I did.

Before I knew it, Javi sprang from where he stood and crashed into me. I landed on my back with a thud as Javi grabbed my wrists. He pinned my arms to my side and hovered over me, his handsome face mere inches from mine. On the air between us wafted an intoxicating mixture of sweat and the sandalwood cologne he wore every day. After a few seconds, his lips parted in a big grin.

“What are you gonna do now?” he asked. His legs straddled my chest while his butt rested on my stomach. His body over me, on top of me, sent electric currents shooting across my flesh. It was as if Javi was the lightning, and I was the lightning rod. I had never been so alive.

If he hadn’t been holding me down, I’d have reached up and brought him all the way to me until his warm mocha cheeks rested against my pale flesh, until the musk of his body filled my lungs, and until his skin brushed my trembling, hungry lips.

Every part of me had been awakened and needed more.

Then I realized the danger.

His rear end sat just a few inches from the raging erection in my jeans. If he turned around or adjusted his position even the slightest, he’d brush up against my hard-on, and that would most likely be the last I’d ever see of Javi Castillo.

“Get off!” I complained as I writhed under Javi’s grasp. I arched my back, trying to buck him off. Javi held fast. He leaned closer to me, his hot breath pluming across my skin. I had to bite my lip hard, hoping the pain might keep my dick from popping out of the waistband.

“Not on your life,” Javi teased.

When he sat back on my groin, his eyes grew wide, and he released my hands.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I scrambled out from underneath him. If I could have willed myself to die, I would have expired on the spot. I couldn’t look at Javi as he kneeled on the ground, open-mouthed. Practically having a cock shoved up your butt could do that to a guy.

Especially if he was a straight jock like Javi.

I tore the glove from my hand and sprinted to the back door. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t watch the friendship I’d come to cherish self-destruct because I couldn’t control my hormones.

I’d ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I’d never forgive myself.

When I flung open the back door to the kitchen, I was surprised to see Mrs. Castillo standing there. She’d been gazing out into the backyard and jumped when I suddenly entered. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Castillo,” I said as I rushed past her. “I’ve got to get home.”

She said nothing. Her gaze never left the window.

“I’
VE
RUINED
everything!” I said as I crashed onto my bed in my closet-sized bedroom. I buried my head in the pillow, trying to suffocate myself in order to end my suffering.

How the hell could I have been so stupid? I’d known from the very beginning I needed to control myself around Javi, but I’d gotten too comfortable. I’d let the ease of our friendship tear down my natural defenses, and instead of being on guard all the time, I’d allowed my lust to get the best of me.

And now I’d lost my best friend.

“I’m such a fuckup!”

“Are you done?” Claudia asked. She sat on the edge of my twin bed. After I’d gotten home, I’d called her in a panic. She’d been unable to interpret my ranting over the phone, so she’d driven over to see what was going on.

“No,” I said, my voice muffled by the pillow. I punched the mattress twice before screaming at the top of my lungs.

“How about now?” she asked. Although I couldn’t see her, I pictured her staring at me with that usual arch to her eyebrows. She always did that when anyone tested the limits of her patience.

I looked at her. Instead of the perturbed expression that usually twisted her features, she stared at me with an almost motherly affection. As if she wished she could chase all my demons away. “Maybe,” I replied, turning on my side.

“So why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” she asked. “When you left school, you and Javi looked like you were kings of the world. Laughing while you rode away on your bikes.”

“You saw that?”

She patted my leg. “That’s the way you two look every day after school. Like kids off to the candy store.”

That was about the way I felt. Being with Javi was sweeter than all the chocolate at Willy Wonka’s factory. It gave me a natural high I’d never experienced before.

“So I assume your current state has something to do with him?” She sat cross-legged at the foot of my bed, no doubt preparing herself for a long story. “Did you have a fight? Or did you finally tell him about Rancid beating you up on the first day of school?”

“It was nothing like that,” I said. I sat up and mimicked her posture, looking her straight in the eye. If I was going to recount the embarrassing details, I couldn’t hide from them. I had to tell them like a man.

When I was done, Claudia sat in silence. She closed her eyes as she typically did when she was trying to solve a math problem or imagining how a layout for the paper should be fixed. Usually when she was done, she had an answer.

Was it too silly for me to hope she could fix my problem as easily as she had others?

“Okay,” she said, once she opened her eyes. “I really don’t think you’re as screwed as you think you are.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up her hand. She wasn’t done, and she wasn’t about to be interrupted. I nodded and zipped my lips.

“Let’s start with what we know about Javi. He’s not someone who rejects others for stupid reasons.” She eyed me when my lips almost unzipped. When I placed a hand over my mouth, she continued. “Yes, you popped a woody, which was pretty stupid, but you’re a boy. You guys can’t control your cocks to save your life. Javi, as a boy, realizes this. He’s not going to reject you for a biological reaction that was beyond your control. I’ve known him for a long time. Since grade school. And he’s pretty much the same sweet boy who helped me cover up the fact that I peed in the sandbox in second grade.”

I snickered at the image of Claudia sitting in sand-soaked urine. Her glare informed me I’d better hush, or I’d have bigger problems than Javi on my hands.