Believe: The Complete Channie Series (192 page)

“No more talking.”

If she hadn’t already taken such good care of him, Hunter would have slipped out from under her and refused to be used until she admitted that she loved him, too. And not just the casual ‘love ya’ of telephone conversations or the ‘I’m so horny I’ll tell you anything if you’ll just give me what I want’ declaration. He needed her to admit that she was falling for him, too. He knew that most of what she felt was physical, but occasionally a spark of gold light would break through the purple haze of lust clouding her energy field.

Hunter grabbed her hips and stilled her rocking. “Just say it.”

“No.”

He wrapped his arms around her and held her in place as he rolled her onto her back. “Tell me that you love me.”

She squirmed beneath him, obviously trying to distract him. “I thought I was in control.”

“Three little words. That’s all it takes and you can be in charge again.”

She narrowed her eyes. “No.”

Hunter moved to his knees then grabbed her wrists and lifted them over her head. He held both her hands with one of his and used the other to grip her chin. “Say it.”

She licked her lips as she shook her head. “Kiss me.”

Hunter smirked at her. “Not until you tell me that you love me.”

Kassie wrapped her legs around Hunter’s waist and drove her heels into his butt as she lifted her hips.

Hunter flexed his abs, refusing to give her what she wanted. “Why won’t you tell me?”

Tears filled her eyes. “Why won’t you just make love to me?”

“Ah, Kassie, I’m sorry.” He rolled them onto their sides and kissed the tears off her cheeks. “Don’t cry.”

She pushed his shoulder, obviously trying to get him on his back.

This time, he didn’t resist.

Kassie dug her fingernails into his shoulders and arched her back. She closed her eyes, lost in ecstasy…and cried out Eric’s name.

Hunter froze as Kassie collapsed on top of him. Her baby…
Eric’s baby
…kicked him. This time it was Hunter’s eyes that filled with tears. He blinked them away as anger replaced pain. “I don’t believe this.”

“That was amazing.” Kassie turned her head to the side and kissed his cheek. “And I
do
love you. I just don’t like it when you force me to say it.”

Did she even realize that she’d called him Eric? Maybe he was reading too much into it. Half the time his own parents called him Shep or Farmer instead of Hunter. “I love you so much, Kassie. Will you marry me?”

She jumped out of bed as if it were on fire. “What!”

Hunter hadn’t meant to blurt that out, but now that he had, he knew it was what he wanted. What he
needed
. He slid out of bed and dropped to one knee then took both her hands in his. “I ain’t got a ring yet, but I’ll save every penny I earn and buy you the biggest damn diamond I can afford.”

She jerked her hands out of his and took two steps back. “No.”

“What do you mean ‘no?’”

“We’re too young to get married.”

“If you’re old enough to get knocked up, you’re old enough to get married. And Eric obviously ain’t gonna step up and do the right thing.”

“I don’t need a husband.” She narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips together.

“Yes, you do.” Hunter rose to his feet and kept his gaze locked on hers. “But more importantly, your baby needs a daddy.”

“She does not. She has me.”

“You want him to be a bastard?” Kassie kept insisting her baby was a girl, but Hunter had already scanned her and knew the little fella was a boy.

“How dare you!”

“If you don’t get married before he’s born, that’s what he’ll be.”

“You narrow-minded, back-woods hillbilly!” Kassie raised her voice until she was yelling at him. “I’m a bastard. So is Josh. It hasn’t hurt either of us!”

“Why are you being so stubborn? Who else is gonna marry you?”

“Aunt Marge landed a filthy-rich attorney years after Josh was born.” Kassie shoved Hunter out of the way and grabbed one of the robes off the bed. “If I ever decide to get married, it won’t be to a janitor.”

Hunter’s mouth dropped open as his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. He sat on the edge of the bed, stunned into silence. Kassie continued her rant, but he didn’t hear a word until she sat down beside him and took his hand.

“I’m sorry, Hunter. I never meant to hurt you or lead you on. And I do love you, but love’s not enough. I have to think about my baby. I can’t afford to marry a man that won’t be able to support us.”

“I make good money—”

“No. You don’t. Not for this part of the country.”

“We could move back to Arkansas.”

“And do what? Raise chickens?” Kassie sighed and shook her head. “I’m not leaving Colorado.”

“So, what you’re saying is that I ain’t good enough for you?”

“I love hanging out with you. You’re funny and sweet with a gorgeous face and super-hot body. You’re incredibly good in bed. I don’t want to lose what we have. Let’s just pretend you never asked me to marry you and have a good time for as long as it lasts.”

“I cain’t do that.”

She dropped his hands and crossed her arms over her chest. “Most guys would kill to have a no-strings-attached relationship with sex anytime they wanted.”

“I ain’t most guys.” Hunter stood up. If he were lucky, he’d be able to catch a bus back to Louisville. If not, he’d walk. “I’m gonna go now.”

“No. Don’t go. It’ll ruin Valentine’s Day.” Kassie reached out and grabbed his hand. “We still have dinner reservations. Josh and Channie are expecting us.”

“I don’t think I can sit through a seven course meal and pretend that everything’s okay while those two make googley eyes at each other.”

Hunter could pretend that he wasn’t devastated by the loss of his family. He could pretend that seeing Channie with Josh didn’t eat him up with jealousy. He could pretend he wasn’t horribly homesick. He could pretend that he wasn’t dying of loneliness in a world he didn’t understand. He could even pretend that marrying Kassie would make all of that disappear. What was one more lie?

He felt like a frightened horse tangled in barbwire. No matter which way he turned, or how hard he kicked, it only made it worse. Everything he did to try to escape the pain only tightened the wires and dug the barbs in deeper. He was already bleeding. What was one more scar?

“Alright, Kassie. If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”

“Thank you, Hunter. You really are the nicest guy I’ve ever known.”

Too bad nice guys finish last.
He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear then kissed her cheek. “I know.”

Jonathan
glanced at the address scribbled on the back of Dr. Harrison’s card then at the tiny cottage across the street. What sort of therapist worked out of a house painted eggplant purple? The kind that claimed they could cure phantom pain with hypnosis; that’s what kind. What was he expecting? A high-rise office building?

He gritted his teeth against the pins and needles sensation in his left hand — or what his nervous system still believed was his left hand. Pain meds helped, but not enough. That’s why he was here, knocking on the Pepto-Bismol pink door of Bluestar Morninglory’s Holistic House of Healing. 

The door creaked open. A black and white striped cat darted between Jonathan’s feet. He spun around and grabbed it with his right hand. The crazy cat dug its claws into Jonathan’s forearm. He gritted his teeth and turned around to find a middle-aged woman standing in the doorway. She looked pretty good for an old broad. Her faded jeans and old Bolder-Boulder t-shirt from 2009 hugged her curvy body, but her tanned-leather face and grey streaked hair kept Jonathan’s libido in check.

She took the cat and nuzzled it against her neck. “Thanks.”

Jonathan rubbed his arm and glared at the cat. “You should keep an eye on that thing. He won’t last long outside with the coyotes.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m looking for a hypnotherapist.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

Jonathan held out his left arm and rotated his myoelectric hand. The tiny gears and servos of the robotic device hummed as he manipulated it. “The phantom pain never goes away. My doc said hypnosis might help.”

The woman’s eyes softened as she lifted her gaze from Jonathan’s prosthesis to his face. “All right. Come on in. But next time, call first and make an appointment.”

“I can come back later if it’s more convenient.”

“You’re here now. My name’s Bluestar, but everyone calls me Blue.” She motioned for Jonathan to enter with a sweep of her arm. “The first session is free, after that, it’s a hundred dollars an hour.”

Jonathan doubted he’d be back as he followed Blue into a small, windowless room illuminated by candlelight. Thin ribbons of smoke curled from the tips of incense sticks. The cloyingly sweet scent of patchouli gave Jonathan an instant headache. Floor to ceiling shelves held an assortment of rocks, crystals and … animal bones? Maybe the cat
would
be safer outside with the coyotes.

And maybe the main qualification for a hypnotherapist shouldn’t be how close they were to the Dillon Dam Brewery. Jonathan’s mouth watered as he thought of the giant cheese burger waiting for him when he was done with this woo-woo business.

Blue nodded at a worn out recliner. “Have a seat and get comfortable while I go brew you some tea.”

“Uh … that’s okay. I’m not much of a tea drinker.” The pins and needles sensation in Jonathan’s missing hand intensified. In a few minutes it would be the smashing-his-hand-in-a-vise sensation.
Phantom pain, my ass. There’s nothing phantom about it.

“It’s all natural, brewed from organic plants I grow myself.” When Blue returned, she handed Jonathan a steaming mug. “It’ll help you relax … which will help with the pain even before I get you into a trance.”

Jonathan took a sip. It tasted like mint and dirt but with a ton of honey. He took another sip. Blue sat on one of those inflatable exercise balls and rocked back and forth as she talked about the coming ski season. Jonathan hadn’t quite finished the tea when his eyes drifted shut. He blinked them open and shook his head. Blue wasn’t kidding when she said the tea would help him relax. “What sort of plants did you say were in this?”

“I didn’t say.” Blue took the cup from Jonathan’s hand. A trail of pink light followed her every motion. “It’s a secret blend.”

Shit
.
Jonathan had never experimented with hallucinogenic drugs, but he’d had enough super-powerful pain meds in the hospital to recognize the effect. “Did you use psychedelic mushrooms or something?”

“Listen to the sound of my voice. Let it carry you back to the day you lost your hand.”

The smell of gasoline, melting rubber and dust burned Jonathan’s sinuses. Searing pain shot from his missing left hand up the length of his arm. Every muscle in his upper body contracted. He arched his back, pulling his shoulders towards his ears.

Blue’s voice sounded as if she were speaking from inside a tunnel. “I need to get to the very root of your pain but let’s go back to a happier time. Relax. Breathe with me. In … out …”

Jonathan didn’t want to go back to a happier time, he wanted to get the hell out of Blue’s creepy house. But thanks to her magic mushroom tea he could barely keep his eyes open, much less get out of the chair. Jonathan knew he was in trouble when he couldn’t force himself to breathe out of sync with Blue’s commands.