Bella Baby (23 page)

“So you act like a fucking kid and runaway? We had to bring the bus back here to look for your ass.”

“Chaz, I am fine just go back to the party. Let them know I do not feel well. I think I had too much to drink.”

“Bullshit Bella. Do you think I just met you? I know you are pissed. It’s my bachelor party too. I was enjoying the strippers,” he said, laughing and dancing. Bella didn’t see anything funny and her face conveyed that she didn’t.

“Wow you can be such a fucking prude Bella. Lighten the fuck up. I didn’t say anything when you had that dude getting your panties wet. Now stop being a complete bitch and let’s enjoy our party.” Chaz grabbed her arm and made to bring her out of the room. Bella resisted digging in her heels. “Stop it Chaz. I am not going back to the party.”

“Oh you want to stay here in the room and bring up everyone’s painful past and ruin a good time. I get it now. You want to see if you can find some more information I do not want to know. Here let me fill you in real quick. My father the illustrious General would beat me with a belt while I was tied to a bed, just for sport. He and my brother had a bet on how long it would take me to cry. He said he was making me tough. Oh my favorite when, not my mother would make dinner, I would get oatmeal or their table scraps. At least she would try and leave some chicken on the bone sometimes. Lest we forget my decorated big brother, he liked to play the make Chaz pass out game. So Bella you do not have to ruin our party to find my painful past,” Chaz explained, pointing to his head. “It is right here in my head every fucking day.”  Chaz was yelling and spittle flew from his mouth as he spoke.  Bella sobbed and felt the bile rise up in her throat. “I am sorry Chaz. I never meant to hurt you.”

“That’s just it, you didn’t hurt me. You hurt yourself. I am not so sure about tomorrow but I am going to go enjoy the party and my stripper. You have a nice night Bella.” Chaz made for the door as Bella ran to the bathroom to throw up. Upon hearing the door close she pushed the sobs back long enough to grab her suitcase.

After checking the hallway, she slipped out and took the stairs to her new room. Inside the new room she let the sobs go. Bella managed to get her laptop open and change her flight to one leaving in the morning. She spent the remainder of the evening in a hot bath, in the dark, and drinking from the mini bar. Wrapped in a hotel bathrobe, she cried herself to sleep on the bed. She still didn’t regret telling Chaz that his birth mother was alive. She regretted how much it hurt him.

“Really you should have chosen a different hotel,” Chaz said, cutting on the light in her room. “I mean if you are trying to make a great escape.”

Bella jumped off the bed clutching her robe. He had scared her half to death appearing in her room. “Chaz just leave me alone. I am sorry I ruined everything. I will be out of your hair.”

Chaz gave her an incredulous look to indicate she wasn’t going anywhere. Bella shook her head to indicate she was in fact leaving. “I can see you are having second thoughts about us. Plus I know I did the right thing telling you, maybe not the best timing. I am sorry it hurt you but that’s all I am apologizing for.”

“Why in the fuck would you do this Bella? How can I ever trust you again? You were why I didn’t think about what was done to me by my family. You were separate from them and I liked it that way. Why the fuck?”

Bella choked back a sob. “I guess we will never know how you can trust me again. I guess that’s a concern we both share.”

“What the fuck does that mean? My loyalty is not in question. I didn’t snoop into your shitty childhood.”

“Oh I can’t say that’s true. You just showed me tonight that I couldn’t, in fact talk to you about anything. I cannot in fact trust you not to act like a world-class ass when you are upset to the point where you would flaunt another woman in my face. So I guess we both have some thinking to do. If you do not mind I would like to do my thinking alone.”

“That belongs in the category of shit that isn’t going to happen. I need to be inside you, that was how I planned to spend this night,” Chaz said. He began to disrobe and Bella stifled a laugh as he undressed. “Put your clothes on Chaz because that tops the actual list of shit that isn’t going to happen. I am not about to let you pound your frustrations out on my body. Or your repressed sexual desire for some stripper.”

Chaz looked at her like she stole his favorite G.I. Joe action figure. “You want me to beg. I need you right now Bella. Just do this for me please.”

“I do not need you to beg. I am not doing this right now. Sex does not solve this situation right here,” Bella said indicating the two of them. “We are well past lovemaking. I was pretty sure you had a drooling replacement lined up tonight.”

Chaz dropped his head in his hands and Bella’s heart sank. Bella couldn’t find the words as her brain began to wildly misfire. Chaz looked up at her with sorrowful eyes that begged her forgiveness. Bella looked away from him as the tears flooded her eyes.

“What did you do Chaz? Did you fuck that stripper?” Bella spoke so softly, she wasn’t sure if the questions were still in her head or if she said them aloud. Chaz rushed to her side wrapping her up in his arms. “Bella it wasn’t like that I promise.”

Bella crumpled to the floor as the sobs racked her body rendering her unable to stand. Chaz went down with her and she managed to disentangle his arms from her body.

“How did it go down Chaz? How did you cheat on me? How did you let that woman take everything from you?” Bella was near to screaming. “Never mind I do not need to know. I brought this upon myself. I almost forgot this is probably my fault too. I was living up to my promise you bastard. I was giving you a family not just any family but a real family. I haven’t been on my birth control. I found your real mother but that was me being a bad fiancée. Get the fuck out of my room.”

Chaz sat on the floor leaning against the bed. “I am not leaving Bella. It didn’t happen, you have ruined me. I can’t make love to anyone but you. I need you.”

“Fuck you Chaz! Fuck you if you think this is my fault. You are always solving shit with that dick of yours, well consider it a job well done. I am not having second thoughts about tomorrow. I know for a fact I will not marry you tomorrow now get the fuck out of here.”

“Bella, why couldn’t you leave well enough alone? I never wanted you to see this part of me. I love you. I didn’t fuck her I promise. She tried to give me head but I couldn’t get hard.”

“I don’t give a fuck the roads your dick has traveled tonight. You are free to do whatever you want with your dick,” Bella yelled. She pulled the ring off her finger dropping it in his lap. Bella grabbed her suitcase pulling it into the bathroom locking the door behind her. In the bathroom she lost it and wailed loudly. Her heart was literally being ripped into two halves. “I wish I had never left with you that night. I wish I never met you. You are a self-destructive asshole. You are not the only one to have a shitty childhood. You promised you wouldn’t hurt me. I hate you Chaz. I am so out of here.”

Bella jumped as Chaz kicked the bathroom door in and grabbed her. Bella slapped and hit him with everything she had. Chaz pulled her robe open as she continued to cry and hit him. They fell on the bed and he allowed her to continue hitting him as he pushed inside her body. Bella tried wiggling from his hold but he put all his weight on her body, effectively holding her in place.

“I need you Bella. I do not want any one else,” he said his breathing shallow. He pumped into her body and relished the sensations only she brought him. Bella’s betraying body arched off the bed. She refused to let one syllable fall from her lips. As soon as he was finished, she planned to leave.

“Bella baby, please. I need you. You feel so fucking good to me. I am sorry baby.” Chaz continued his assault on her body and her wordless orgasm pushed him over the edge. He came loudly and forcibly spilling inside Bella. She waited for the feelings to subside wanting to leave desperately. Chaz did not stop and his body continued to move. His hand found her neck and the gentle pressure was there. Once again her hands were there but not to remove his hand.

“Love me Bella. You promised to love me forever. I will love you forever. There will never be anyone else for me.”

“I do love you Chaz,” she squeaked out. “Oh baby.”

Chaz found her mouth but did not remove his hand from her neck as he kissed her passionately. “Give it to me Mrs. Caruthers.”

Bella fought but her body won out and she unraveled completely. The tears were hard rolling down her face as she convulsed. “Please Chaz. Why did you cheat on me? I love you so much baby. Pleaseee…” she trailed off unable to form words.

“Bella, Bella, Bella baby ahhh,” he moaned. Chaz was coming so hard he thought he was going to pass out. “The best pussy ever. Bella, I am never leaving you. I love you so fucking much.”

Chaz refused to release her body and while the lovemaking was over, his kisses weren’t. He murmured, “I love you Bella. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I want to be your husband. Please let me be your husband.”

“I love you too Chaz. I was not trying to hurt you. I wanted to be a good wife. Why did you have to cheat on me?” The tears were there in abundance causing her body to quiver with each round. Chaz tried his best to soothe her tears. “I am so sorry Bella. I am self-destructive but please do not leave me. I will not survive without you. I need you to marry me and stand by me. I want a family with you Bella. You are my world.”

They both managed to fall asleep but Bella awoke first. Her body felt completely drained, as she was barely able to slip into her jeans. Chaz put the ring on her finger but she pulled it off and placed it on top of the envelope with his mother’s picture inside. Bella pushed the elevator button but took the stairs. Several flights down Chaz scared the crap out of her when he opened the door on the sixth floor. Fuck, she kept forgetting he was Special Ops.

“Bella, where are you going?” Chaz stood in the hotel bathrobe.  She could tell his head was pounding as he winced with the words.

“My flight leaves in a few hours Chaz,” she replied unable to meet his eyes.

“I thought we were getting married today?” He looked pained and worried.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Bella finally looked to him and his eyes were screaming, “Hell yes.”

“Yes I do. We can figure the rest out later. Bella, I love you.” Chaz walked to her but she backed up afraid he would try to sex her up. Apparently his dick was her kryptonite, much to her dismay, she could not refuse sex with Chaz.

“I love you too Chaz but we rushed this. There is still so much we do not know about each other. I need to figure this out and the fact that you cheated on me last night still has me smarting.”

“Bella, I didn’t go through with it. I promise you that will never happen again.”

“Oh so you are promising me that you will never get mad at me overreact and try to get a hooker stripper to suck your dick. Whew!” Bella said sarcastically, wiping off her forehead in pretend relief. Chaz tried the panty-crushing smile but it failed miserably.

“I can’t promise I won’t get mad at you ever again. But I can promise you that I will never cheat on you.”

“Oh because you are physically incapable but what about your intentions. If your dick worked last night you would have let that woman blow you. Now let’s for a second consider the reverse of this disgusting scenario,” Bella replied. “Are you picturing a man shot in the head and me crying as they take you away in cuffs? What the fuck makes you think I should be so forgiving right now? What the fuck entitles you to my forgiveness? At the first sign of distress you lost it so bad and cost us both more than we can afford. I do not trust you Chaz. I will not be able to live with a man that I have to walk on eggshells in the hopes he doesn’t cheat on me if I upset him.”

Chaz ran his hands over his head as he processed her words. “You are right I do not deserve your forgiveness. I am fucked up Bella you just told me that I have a mother. Not only a mother and she thought I was dead. I thought Emily was my mother and I still take care of her out of responsibility not loyalty. I am just like my father. I am a user of women and I hurt them just as bad without my fists. I know he probably abused her, didn’t he?”

“No the time for twenty questions and a pity party was last night before you tried to get a stripper to suck your dick Chaz. So do not throw in your birth mother now.  I tried to have this conversation yesterday and I could have answered all your questions then. Instead you let your anger decide the course of our relationship. No amount of satisfactory fucks can change what you did to me Chaz.” Bella felt her emotions rush to the surface and her tough exterior began to fade as her words spewed forth.  There weren’t tears as a painful wailing sound emanated from Bella. Chaz could see he had hurt the one person to love him unconditionally. The one woman in his life to date that he wanted to love, as she deserved. She hit him when he tried to hold her. “Hit me if you have to Bella. I fucked up royally but my heart hasn’t changed. I want to be with you.”

Bella had only remembered crying this hard twice, once when she lost her mother and once when she found her father dying. Chaz sat with her on the stairs holding her as she let go. “But I love you so much,” she stammered between sniffles. “How could you do that to me? You promised you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I love you too. God you have no idea how much. Bella, I am so sorry.” Chaz lifted her chin to his lips and kissed tenderly. Bella’s now puffy eyes looked at him and the urge to protect her was so strong. Chaz felt like less than a man for hurting her with his vindictive behavior. Bella wrapped him in her arms as she felt his warm tears hit her face. They sat like that holding each other until they could both walk again. In the room Chaz ran a bath and they slipped beneath the water just holding each other. Bella took a warm washcloth and folded it across her eyes hoping to reduce the puffiness. A few times they could hear Chaz’s cell phone ringing but for now they ignored it preferring the silence to questions. Bella cut the hot water on to refresh the water. Chaz slipped a protective arm around her chest as he kissed her neck.