Belonging (36 page)

But the one question that kept rising to the top above others was…could she now
possibly
get pregnant? Could she have Damian’s baby? Would
he
even want to?

By the time she’d come out of her reverie, Big D walked out of the exam room, mumbling something under his breath she didn’t catch.

“Kitten…” Damian’s voice broke with pained emotion. He was on the verge of breaking down and her own tears pricked at his agony. They held each other for an indeterminable amount of time. This news wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, the more she tested it, the happier she was about it. If the three days she had to spend with that monster resulted in her ability to bear a child with Damian, the love of her life, she’d do it all over again. No hesitation, no questions, no doubt.

She needed to help him get over his guilt so they could move on from here, but how? She recalled what Sebastian had unknowingly revealed yesterday during a hushed, clearly private conversation with Damian. Hey, could she help it if she now had super-sized hearing? When she’d cornered Sebastian in a rare few minutes that Damian had left her alone to speak with Dev, he’d revealed some very enlightening facts about Damian’s little home improvement project.

“Damian, let’s go home,” she mumbled into his chest. She’d spent a fair amount of time with Kate and a little with Sarah since she was still recovering from her near death experience, and while she didn’t want to leave her sisters, she needed time alone with Damian. They could come back at any time on a whim.

“I think we should stay here until we get the final results back from the doctor, Analise,” he replied, his voice firm and unyielding.
Uh oh.
Domineering Damian had returned, and there was only one place she wanted that persona to make an appearance. And if she had her way…

Pulling back, it was time to put her foot down. “No. We already know. And there is a thing in the twenty-first century called a goddamned phone. If anything comes up that we don’t already know, the doctor will call and we’ll even come back if necessary. But there won’t be, because for the umpteenth time, I. Am. Fine. Now, I want to go to
my
home with
my
mate and make love in
my
bed. You can’t deny me that, Damian.”

She knew the moment she had him. For not knowing anything about relationships, she was getting pretty darn good at this pretty darn fast.

“Okay, kitten.” He gently brushed her lips with his. “Anything for you. Do you want to say goodbye to your sisters first?”

“Yes. Thank you, Damian.”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his sad eyes. Hopefully, by tomorrow morning, she’d have her cheeky, fun-loving Damian back.

Since they were already in the shelter, they made their way to see Sarah first. She’d been released from the infirmary but was on strict bed rest, and Damian graciously waited outside so they could have a private conversation.

“Come in,” Sarah replied to her knock, her voice sounding even stronger than yesterday.

“Hi, Sarah. How are you doing today?” Analise asked as she closed her door and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Better. Every day I feel a bit stronger. The incision is still a bit sore, but otherwise I’m good.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.” Analise considered her words before asking her next question. “How are you
really
doing, outside of the appendicitis, I mean?”

Sarah looked her square in the eye and Analise knew that her sister would not only recover, she’d use this experience to make her stronger. Much like Analise had.

“I’m getting there, Analise. I’m much better.” While her voice was soft, there was confidence and strength lying underneath, trying to crawl their way to the top of the complex and ever-shifting emotional mountain.

Analise had taken a deep breath before she told the only person outside of Damian her survivor story. “When I was eighteen, I was raped, got pregnant and ended up losing the baby. Ectopic pregnancy.” Analise looked down at the pale ivory Damask bedspread. “Even though I went through the worst thing a woman could possibly endure—on many fronts—I was devastated at the loss of that baby. I didn’t realize how much I wanted him until I didn’t have him anymore.” The last part she’d not mentioned to a single soul, not even Damian.

She looked back at Sarah who now had tears brimming in her golden brown eyes.

“My point is that, to some degree, I do know what you’re going through. I know you weren’t raped, but you were traumatized and you’re still going through the same emotional rollercoaster, Sarah. I spent years locking myself away in my own little castle, or more accurately locking everyone else out. Never trusting anyone enough to tell them my story so I could heal and move on. Not everyone in this world is evil. Not everyone is out to harm you. Meeting Damian has helped me realize that I’d done myself a complete disservice by not talking about it, not letting it out.

“You’re strong, Sarah. I can see the fire, the grit, the determination in your eyes. There are people here who love you and want to take care of you. I’m proud to call you my sister.”

Sarah launched herself into Analise’s arms and they both cried. “Thank you, Analise,” Sarah rasped. “I’m so glad I have you.”

“Ditto,” she choked through the lump in her throat.

“I’m going back to Boston for a few days, but I’ll call you every day, okay?” Sarah just nodded, her grip tightening. Analise was torn, but her mate had to be her first priority. She pulled back, gently holding her by the shoulders so Sarah could see she meant it. “Call me anytime, Sarah. Okay?”

“I’ll be just fine, Analise. See you when you get back. And thanks for trusting me with your story.”

Analise kissed her on the cheek, saying goodbye.

She had one more stop to make before she searched for Kate. Analise and Damian exchanged knowing glances and he stayed put in the hallway while Analise walked down a few doors.

She knocked and opened the door at the same time. Beth had been pretty emotionally unresponsive since Damian’s men rescued her. Kate said that most of the time she just lay on her bed, unfocused eyes staring at the ceiling. While her physical scars were healing, it was obvious her emotional ones weren’t. Once again, guilt battered Analise. Her sister, her friend…they needed her and all she could think of was getting Damian’s body inside hers.
Ugh…she was a terrible person
.

“Beth, how are you today, sweetie?” No response. She sat for a few minutes like she did every day for the past five days, talking to her about inane things, like current events, Beth’s favorite TV show and finally told her she’d be returning to Boston for a few days. Squeezing Beth’s hand as she rose, Analise made her way to the door, but Beth’s voice stopped her cold.

“Where is he?” she whispered so softly Analise didn’t know if she’d heard right.

“Where is who, Beth?” Her skin prickled in anticipation of Beth’s answer. As she’d seen the attentive vampire in her dream of Beth, she knew exactly to whom Beth was referring. Analise didn’t have an answer, except that he was presumed dead. Xavier’s team was massacred in the battle. Not one of his rogues survived.

“My savior,” she said simply. Beth’s head turned toward Analise, looking at her for the first time. Beth’s soul was haunted and it cut her to the quick to see her best friend in such emotional pain. She wasn’t about to cause her any more by telling Beth that the vampire she’d come to care for, even if he might be associated with a psychopath and one himself, was likely dead.

“I don’t know, Beth. I don’t know.” Beth closed her eyes on an exhale and turned back toward the wall. Analise slipped out quietly and Damian was right there, arms around her, knowing exactly what she needed. He
always
knew what she needed sometimes even before she did.

“We have to go. I’ll call Kate when we get there. Right now I just need to go home, Damian. Please,” she begged. This place was full of pain and sadness and selfishly she needed an escape, if only for a little while.

Within seconds, they were blessedly at the penthouse and Damian had them settled on the couch. He held her in his lap, her head on his shoulder and not for the first time in the last few days, she relished in the feel of his strong arms around her, comforting her and protecting her and loving her.

And now it was time to bring the domineering, confident, sometimes infuriating man she fell in love with back to her.

C
hapter
52

Mike

He stood at the window in the plush, ostentatious room with a nice amber scotch swirling in his glass, watching a flock of birds in the distance. He’d prefer a nice bottle of beer to the scotch he now held, but alcohol was alcohol and he needed its mind-numbing effects.
It’s five o’clock somewhere, right?
And apparently Dev was clean out of beer. Who the hell runs out of beer? That’s just criminal.

He’d been
dispatched
to Dev’s for some unknown reason and he should have been getting used to that by now, but fuck if he was. Ren, who’d ‘retrieved’ him, sat silently on the couch, more interested in his phone than conversation and that suited him fine.

It had been almost two weeks since he’d heard from the bloodsuckers. He’d found the dirty cop Damian had requested, passing that information along, but he’d never heard a word back. Every day he searched a few more places for the body of Frankie Durillo, but that proved to be a bust.

He hadn’t seen, talked or texted with Giselle in almost two weeks either. Actually, it was twelve days, fifteen hours and forty-two minutes, but who the hell was counting.
He sure wasn’t
. And that was precisely the reason he needed the liquid courage. Because if he saw her today, he wasn’t sure how he would react. Would he be indifferent, which was how he
wanted
to act, or would he let his desperate need for her bleed through his eyes until it was spelled out clearly at her feet? If he were a betting man, it would be the latter.

“She’s not here, man,” Ren finally quipped. “But she should be back. Any. Minute. Now.” Mike stood stock still with his back to Ren, pretending he didn’t hear him. Apparently that didn’t deter the meddling asshole as he continued blabbing his trap. “The text I sent should get her back here right quick.”

Mike whipped around wishing he had a goddamned knife so he could shove it deep into Ren’s chest. “What are you playing at vampire?” he spat.

Ren didn’t miss a beat. “Well, I’m playing matchmaker, you stupid fuck. You both need to pull your heads out of your asses and just screw already. You could light up an entire city for a goddamned year with the amount of energy you’ve wasted trying to pretend you don’t want in each other’s pants. Jesus Christ, man, it’s
exhausting.
”

He sat there just staring at Ren in…confusion? Amazement? All he’d really heard in his tirade was
she wants me
. And damn if that didn’t make his heart swell just a little teeny, tiny bit.

Obviously he wasn’t as good at hiding his attraction to Giselle as he’d thought. And neither was she. He was speechless. For once in his sorry life, he had no witty or hateful comeback. Luckily Dev saved him from the shame of silence, which in Ren’s eyes would be akin to agreement and that was the last thing he needed.

“Detective, thanks for coming. Someone has requested to see you.” Mike shot his glance back toward Ren, who just shrugged like he had no idea what was going on. If this were some type of group intervention, he would go absolutely ballistic. Goddamned vampires thinking they could tell him who to fu—

“It’s Jamie.”

Now his eyes snapped to Dev’s and he could feel the confusion clouding his own face. “Jamie asked to see me?” he muttered.

Dev nodded once. “Kate is bringing her down now, but I wanted to talk to you first.” Dev gestured for him to sit, which he did gladly. His legs were feeling rather like a newborn calf’s.

“While she’s recovered physically, she’s in bad shape emotionally, Mike.”
Mike
…that was the first time the vamp even acknowledged he had a first name. This was getting more bizarre by the second. “She’s hardly left her room for three months. Kate has finally convinced her to attend some counseling sessions and interact a bit with the other girls, and she’s making some progress, but she’s not revealed much about what happened. I don’t know who she was before, but I can guarantee you she’s not the same girl you knew and you need to understand that before you agree to see her.”

Agree
to see her
?
Like he would turn her away? And he already knew she would be different. Who the hell could survive what she’d been through and be the same? Not one living soul. Mike nodded in understanding.

“And if you say or do anything to upset her, you’ll have me to answer to, human. Understand?” Now there was the Devon he was all too familiar with. Again, he simply nodded. Devon didn’t know him very well if he thought Mike would upset the only woman he’d ever loved.

Ren took off, leaving Mike and Dev alone. They sat in pensive silence for several minutes until Kate walked into the room, holding Jamie’s hand and Jamie was holding onto it for dear life. Head down, she stared hard at the carpet underneath her feet like she was walking into a pit of snakes and they would attack at any minute.
Jesus. Jamie.
His heart was bleeding.

Kate led Jamie to a chair opposite the couch where he sat and Jamie sat down, still not making eye contact with him. Kate whispered something in Jamie’s ear before standing up. Dev held a hand out to Kate and she walked into his arms like that was the only place she was ever meant to be. She looked happy.
They
looked happy.

A seed of envy planted itself deep within his gut and he felt the roots starting to grab hold. Time for some
Weed-B-Gone
on that shit when he got home. Mike Thatcher did
not
do envy.

Everyone left the room, giving them privacy. He had no illusions that they’d gone too far, though. They were probably eavesdropping just around the corner. He didn’t give a rat’s ass. He would never hurt this fragile woman sitting in front of him. Her eyes remaining on the floor, they sat in uncomfortable silence for what seemed like a lifetime. Well, uncomfortable for her maybe, but it gave him an opportunity to really drink her in. And Dev was right…she had changed.