Beneath a Spring Moon (7 page)

It wasn’t like Adam and Cullen had just been fuck buddies. Adam had moved into his house within the first couple of months they’d been seeing each other. They shared everything. A bed, a bathroom, meals … hell, they’d even shared a toothbrush a time or two.

But Adam refused to become mated. Every time Cullen brought the subject up, Adam found a reason to put it off. Cullen tried not to read too much into it. He knew Adam loved him, even if the man never said the words. But he ached, knowing there was something more for mates, a kind of bond nothing, not even nature, could break.

Watching Declan and Quinn, happy and secure in their mating, drove home how much he was missing.

He walked behind everyone else, ignoring the concerned look Adam shot at him.

Could he live like this for another six years? For the rest of his life? Could he live knowing the thing he longed for wasn’t even on Adam’s radar?

He was miserable, and it was starting to affect everything he did. How was he supposed to carry out his duties as pack beta like this?

The answer was simple. He couldn’t.

Chapter 2

Adam resisted the urge to drum his fingers on the table. Cullen sat next to him looking like he was at a funeral. All Adam wanted to do was take him home and find a way to soothe the man.

“Adam? You wanna pay attention here? This is some important shit, you know.”

He blinked and looked up at Declan, directing his gaze to the man’s chin. Declan may have been one of his best friends, but the guy was still his Alpha. “Sorry. I just don’t find arranging all these matings to be very interesting.”

“Adam Tulloch,” Quinn scolded gently. “You should take an interest. Mated couples are what keep a pack strong, and you know it.”

Not always. Sometimes people tied themselves to someone entirely incompatible and were miserable for the rest of their lives. He should know.

His parents had been the most mismatched mated pair he’d ever seen. And it had not been a case of opposites attracting, that was for sure. His entire childhood was nothing more than a giant blur of screaming matches. His mom had thrown at least one glass or plate at his father nightly.

Not that his father hadn’t deserved it, the cheating bastard.

But one ill thought-out mating bite and they had been stuck with each other.

Of course, Adam hadn’t exactly been a welcome addition to their happy little family. His parents ignored him for the most part, seeing him as yet another tie to each other.

“Sorry,” he said politely to Quinn. “I guess I just don’t see it that way.”

Quinn patted him sympathetically on the hand. “Well, I didn’t see it that way either until I mated with Declan. Don’t worry about it. We’ll handle all the mating stuff. All you’ll have to do is show up.”

He nodded but frowned. Cullen was the one who usually jumped to comfort him. But the man slumped in his chair, looking like someone had died.

That was it. He needed to get Cullen home and find out what the fuck was going on. And then he needed to kill whoever had put that look on the man’s face.

“Sorry, Dec, but can we do this tomorrow? I don’t think either Cull or I are quite in the mood for all this mating shit right now.”

Declan gave him an assessing look, suddenly all Alpha. Then he sighed and wrapped an arm around Quinn’s waist. He pulled the submissive wolf into his lap and rested his chin on Quinn’s shoulder. “Yeah, go ahead. Quinn and I can handle most of this stuff on our own.”

Cullen’s chair scraped across the floor as he jumped to his feet. He was out the door before Adam could even stand up.

“What the fuck?” Adam said, raising his eyebrows at Declan and Quinn. “He’s been acting strange for a little while now. Do either of you know what’s going on with him?”

Declan adjusted his hold on Quinn so that he cradled the smaller wolf against his chest and stroked Quinn’s blond hair. “He hasn’t said anything to me, but if I had to guess, I’d say all of these matings are starting to get to him.”

“You think Cullen wants to get mated?”

Declan didn’t answer his question. Instead, he stood, making sure Quinn had his footing before straightening completely.

Adam had to smile at the care Declan took with his young mate. When Quinn had first come to the pack, he’d been quiet and shy. He had been afraid of his own shadow. Declan’s love had given the man confidence and had brought him out of his shell. Now Quinn was one of the most beloved members of their pack. Every single one of the wolves in the pack would lay down their lives to keep him safe, and yet Declan always made sure he did everything in his power to keep Quinn happy and protected.

Declan threaded his fingers through Quinn’s and looked Adam dead in the eye. “I think you need to give very serious consideration to your thoughts about mating, and listen very carefully to what Cullen says.”

Adam nodded and followed his lover out the door. He trudged down the stairs and lifted his face so he could catch Cullen’s scent on the warm spring breeze.

Cullen’s clothes were scattered about on the front lawn, including his shoes. Obviously he’d shifted and taken off.

Adam picked up the clothing and folded it neatly before placing it on the bottom step. It wasn’t that he was a neat freak. Far from it. It was Cullen who couldn’t stand to have his stuff scattered everywhere.

A feeling of dread built in his gut as he sat and unlaced his boots. Something was seriously wrong, and Adam couldn’t help but feel that whatever Cullen had to say to him, it was going to change his life forever.

Chapter 3

Cullen dipped his paw in the icy water and splashed it halfheartedly at the robin perched on the rock next to him.

The bird cocked its head at him and went back to singing its merry tune.

He didn’t want joyful, happy birdsong intruding on the funeral dirges running through his head. He was witnessing the slow, painful death of any hope of being Adam’s mate, and he wanted to mourn.

A huge black wolf padded over and Cullen heaved a sigh. He’d hoped to have a little more time to think things through, decide on the exact words he wanted to use, but Adam’s arrival dashed that hope.

Adam whined and flopped down next to him, snuggling against his side, nudging Cullen’s muzzle fretfully with his nose.

Cullen could practically feel the concern rolling off his lover. He pushed down his irritation with Adam and licked Adam’s muzzle. It wasn’t Adam’s fault Cullen hadn’t told him what his problem was.

They lay quietly on the soft spring grass, watching the birds scratch at the dirt and listening to the water burble away in the stream. Cullen savored the warm body at his side, knowing this might be the last time he ever felt it. If he could freeze this moment and stay this peaceful forever, he would do it in a heartbeat.

But, of course, stopping time wasn’t possible and eventually the sun began to set. Adam nudged him again, and he reluctantly heaved himself to his feet. It was too cold to go traipsing about in the nude, so they stayed in wolf form until they made it home.

Adam shifted, opening the door and standing back to let Cullen go in first. Cullen shifted back to human form and turned to face his concerned lover.

“Cull?”

The vulnerability in Adam’s voice shredded his heart, and Cullen couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and brushing his lips against Adam’s. “We need to talk, Adam.”

“No,” Adam pleaded. “No. No. No.” Each word was punctuated with a desperate kiss.

Cullen never was able to resist Adam and he arched his neck so the other man could string a line of moist, open mouthed kisses down to his chest.

Hands gripped roughly, they fought for dominance. Adam shoved Cullen into the wall with a crash, pushing against his shoulders.

No way.
Cullen pushed back hard, forcing Adam to stumble, mashed his mouth to his and herded Adam toward the bedroom. He knew he couldn’t win this battle. Adam was far too strong to even have a chance at winning. But if he was going to be taken, it was going to be on the bed. There was no way he was going to sport carpet burn on his knees for the next two days.

Once he’d wrestled Adam into the bedroom, he stopped fighting so hard. He didn’t mind being dominated so much. He just wanted his lover to work for it.

Adam pushed him onto the bed with enough force he bounced on the mattress. He loomed over Cullen, one corner of his mouth drawn up in a silent growl. “On your knees, Cull,” he snarled.

“Use lube,” was all he had to say, rooting around in the nightstand for the tube they kept there. He knew Adam would never hurt him, but he did get carried away on occasion.

Adam growled wordlessly and grabbed the lube from him.

What felt like the entire contents of the tube was dumped between his cheeks, and he shivered. “Cold.”

“You won’t be cold for long.” Adam grabbed his hair and yanked until Cullen was forced to bare his neck submissively. He used the fingers on his free hand to quickly stretch him out.

Cullen panted through the burn, concentrating on relaxing his muscles and pushing back onto those digits. He knew from experience the burning sensation would fade into a pleasure so intense he would be screaming and beg for release before they were done.

Adam’s fingers pegged his gland, and Cullen’s eyes rolled back. There was that pleasure he’d been waiting for. “Now,” he practically sobbed. He wasn’t sure if he was nearly weeping because of the pleasure or because of what they needed to discuss.

The latex-covered dick nudged his pucker and this time, tears really did start flowing. The condom just brought home the fact he and Adam weren’t mated. Their scents would never mingle to create a new one. Sure, other wolves would smell him on Adam’s clothes but without a mating-bite scar or their own unique scent, there was nothing to speak of their commitment to each other.

His body didn’t care, though. All it knew was the unspeakable pleasure Adam was giving it. His balls drew tight, and when Adam’s fist wrapped around his cock, Cullen howled and shot. Long, creamy ropes painted the dark blue comforter.

Adam grunted and froze for a single second. His grip on Cullen’s hair hadn’t loosened at all, and he tugged harder, forcing Cullen to expose his neck more than usual.

Cullen relaxed, knowing Adam’s wolf was close to the surface. The wolf wouldn’t hurt him, but Adam hated to lose control.

Sharp teeth grazed the sides of his neck and Cullen froze. God, could this really be it? Could Adam really be ready to finally claim his as his mate?

The growl that ripped from Adam’s throat told him just how close to the surface the wolf really was, and Cullen’s misery returned, the pain as sharp as a knife to the gut. Cullen knew the wolf considered him their mate. It was the human part of Adam that wanted no part in a formally committed relationship.

But allowing Adam’s wolf to take control and seal their fate by delivering the mating bite when Cullen could do something about it wasn’t fair to Adam.

“Adam. Adam.”

Adam pulled away with a gasp and collapsed on the mattress next to Cullen, panting and sweating.

And with that, all hope Cullen had for the future died.

Chapter 4

Adam watched his lover sleep, pushing a lock of chestnut brown hair off of Cullen’s forehead.

Those dreaded words,
we need to talk
, had stolen his breath and thrown him into a panic he’d never experienced before. Whatever Cullen wanted to talk about, it wasn’t good.

He’d taken Cullen three more times, until the man had passed out from exhaustion. But even in his sleep, unhappiness was etched all over Cullen’s face.

Cullen stirred, and his eyelids fluttered.

Damn. Adam had hoped for more time. He took a deep breath and watched Cullen drag himself out of sleep. He couldn’t help but smile. Cullen loved to sleep, and waking up was always a battle. But, God, he was adorable when he first woke up, all affectionate and warm and hard … and usually horny.

True to form, Cullen nuzzled close and pressed his morning wood against Adam’s hip. Soft kisses were dropped on Adam’s collarbone, and he reveled in the feeling until Cullen stiffened and pulled away. His face was a study in abject misery.

“Cullen, baby. Tell me what’s wrong? Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. If someone is making you feel this bad, I’ll rip their throat out. I promise.”

He meant every single word, too.

Cullen studied him and shook his head. “We need to talk, but I don’t want to do this here, in our bed.”

Adam swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. “Okay. Just let me get dressed.” Somehow, this didn’t seem like a time for naked skin.

Cullen didn’t answer, just rose from the bed and pulled on a pair of sweats that had been sitting neatly on the top of his dresser. He walked out of the room without a backward glance.

Adam took a second to hit the head and stared at his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands. Something big was about to happen, and he wasn’t sure he was ready.

The scent of coffee drifted up the stairs. Crap, this was worse than he thought. Cullen never drank coffee. In fact, the only time Cullen ever made coffee was when he was upset and wanted something warm to hang on to. Adam asked him about that particular habit back when they first started seeing each other. The answer Cullen had given him melted his heart. “I usually make hot chocolate when I’m upset. You don’t drink hot chocolate, so I thought I’d make coffee instead.”

No one had ever put him first. Ever. And it had scared the shit out of him then.

It scared the shit out of him now.

Taking a deep breath he left the bathroom and went downstairs, feeling like he was about to meet his executioner.

Cullen was standing at the huge picture window in the living room. He wasn’t cradling the coffee like Adam expected. There was a mug steaming on the coffee table, but Adam could tell from the scent that Cullen had poured it for him, since it held no hint of cream or sugar.

Instead, Cullen was staring out at the forest, his arms wrapped around his middle as if he was trying to hold himself together.