Beneath His Darkness (Healing Hearts #3) (37 page)

I need to figure something out soon or we’re going to die.

Davyd has kept up his daily violations of my body, sometimes several times, but as long as I allow him to brutalize me, he leaves Cammie alone.  I’ve stopped staring into Cammie’s face as the intrusion happens.  I can’t see how broken she’s become, or maybe I’m afraid she’ll see how broken I am.  I swore he wouldn’t break me, but he’s done just that.  How many times can you allow the woman you love to see you attacked in front of her before you become an empty shell of the person you once were?

She’s been chained naked to a wall for days while I’ve lived in constant worry over what Davyd will do to her.  I haven’t been able to help her.  Nothing I can say changes our situation.  We weaken every moment.  He’s toying with us.

When I was first taken, I hoped I would save her.  I was full of anger.  I thought I was smarter than him.

I was wrong.

My hope is gone.

The door creaks open and the monster who haunts my waking and sleeping moments, walks in.  I hang my head on my chest, not even able to eye him down anymore.  I’m chained before him, a completely defeated man.

“Finally, you submit, lover.  Now, you’ll be rewarded.”

I don’t understand what his words mean.  He walks from the room and comes back a few minutes later with two masked men.  Fear fills me as they come at me.  I want to fight, but I’m so weak.  They start to unchain me and all I can do is fall into them.  They carry me to the bed and I hear Davyd tell them to lay me on my back and leave one arm unchained.  There is some talk back and forth and he assures them I am not a problem.  They lay a chain across my chest and it feels so heavy, but like Davyd demanded, I have one arm able to fully move.

This is the first time I realize how small the bed is.  My feet hang off the end and my body takes up most of it.  It’s not much bigger than a cot.  I’ve stared at this bed for days and in my mind, it was mammoth.  Maybe it was because of the drugs, or maybe my fear.  I start to wonder how many children he abused on this small bed and I feel sick.  Being at the mercy of a madman is the worst place to be.

I tell myself that if I, by some miracle, get out of this, I’m having my tattoo changed.  Mercy is not for the weak.  It takes great compassion.  Only pussies and bullies show no mercy.  I see that now.

He always keeps the room so warm.  I’ve wondered several times if that’s to make us sleepy.  Are we more apt to be manipulated if we’re tired?  My brain is a confused web of thoughts and I can’t grasp onto a single one as I lay here, waiting for the torture to begin.  I keep telling myself to focus, but I’m so tired.  I really want to sleep.  It’s much more comfortable on this bed.  I don’t care that it’s too small for my tall frame.

“Ready for your reward, lover?”

I peer up at him and he has a bucket of water and a sponge.  What the fuck?  Then, it dawns on me.  Davyd always needed me clean.  I haven’t had a shower since I’ve been here.  He’s brushed Cammie and my teeth, but that’s been the extent of our hygiene.  My skin pebbles as he runs the wet sponge over me and leaves me exposed to the air.  It doesn’t feel so warm now.  I start to shiver and he whispers he’ll take care of me soon.

I shiver harder at what those words might mean.

He washes me from head to toe and towels me off.  When I’m buffed to his satisfaction, he strips down.  I feel the blood leave my face.  I was hoping he would leave me alone for one day.

“You ungrateful bastard,” he spits.

“What?”  I don’t understand what’s happening.

“I saw your face.  After all I just did for you, you still can’t show me any love?  Well, now you’ll see how I handle your unwillingness to submit.”

“No, I’m sorry,” I blurt out.

“Too late.”

He stalks away from the bed over to Cammie.  I can hear his heaving breaths, but can’t lift myself with the weight of the chain over my chest.  All I can do is turn my head and stare in horror as his hand reaches up and grabs onto her breast.

Her scream echoes through the room and tears pour down her face.  I beg him to stop.  Again and again, I plead with him, but he ignores my words.  His mouth comes down on the same breast and she screams again.

“I submit,” I yell.

His head pops up and he turns to me.  Cammie is sobbing behind him.  “I submit,” I repeat.

“About fucking time,” he growls and storms toward me.  “I will not make this easy this time, lover.”

Because he’s made everything easy so far?

He crawls onto the bed, his face a mask of fury.  The first bite breaks the skin on my calf.  I hold my cry in by slamming my teeth together.  I turn to Cammie to find strength in her beauty, but what I see only angers me.  Large red marks mar her breast and blood rims her nipple.  I’ve never wanted to hurt someone the way I want to hurt Davyd now.

Bringing my eyes back to the devil crawling and biting his way up my body, I do my best to tune out the pain.  I can’t tell whether blood is dripping from my wounds or if his saliva is the wetness I feel.  It all just angers me more.  Somehow, I remain still.

His teeth clamp down hard over my nipple and I breathe in deep to keep from screaming out.  “Stubborn son of a bitch,” he huffs.  He bites the other nipple harder, going deeper into my flesh.  I can’t stop the yelp that falls from my lips.

He slams his tongue into my mouth, my blood salty on his lips.  I allow him to kiss me, draw him in.  I only have this one chance. Holding back the bile threatening to spill forth, I force my tongue into his mouth on a fake moan.  His erection jabs into my leg.  I wait for him to tilt his head to the most compromising angle and call forth the last of my strength.

I throw as much as I can into the punch and it connects with the right side of his face.  While Davyd is stunned, I go for his throat.  Wrapping my fingers tight, I squeeze.  I picture the life leaving him even as I feel my strength waning.

He grabs at my fingers with one hand and starts punching me with the other.  I don’t know how long I can continue being a punching bag, but I’m hoping he’ll lose consciousness first.

“This is not submitting,” he squeaks out.

“Fuck you!” I bark.

There’s a commotion coming from the room Davyd likes to hide in, but I can’t make out what’s going on.  I’m too focused on keeping my hand wrapped around his throat.

“I want you to die!” I scream at Davyd.

“You first, lover,” he wheezes.

“Grant! No!” Cammie squeals as I feel pain rip through my side.

My hand falls from Davyd’s throat and he starts to sputter and cough.  He hovers over me, spittle falling in my face.

“You worthless motherfucker!  Look what you’ve caused me to do.”

His head tilts toward Cammie and he lifts his hand.  There’s a knife covered in blood that I know he’s about to throw at her.  Somewhere in my mind, I process that the knife was just in me, but instincts kick in.  I know I have to save my buttercup.  I do the only thing I can.  I throw my arm in the way of his, stopping him from launching it.

“I’ll fucking break you one way or the other!”  His quickly lands a few punches to my face, while I uselessly defend myself.  “I can do this all day while you lay here and bleed out, lover.  Tell me you’re mine.”

“Never,” I say through bloody lips that barely open.

“Argh!”  His battle cry echoes off the walls and I see the knife coming at me.  This is the moment I’m going to die.

An explosion happens and my world goes black.

Hello, death.

Chapter Forty Four

Grant

“Grant, can you hear me, son?”

I turn into the light and…no, it can’t be.  “Da…I mean, Nathan?”

His mouth turns down in hurt and my heart lurches, knowing I somehow caused it.  I try to see behind him, around me, but everywhere I look, I see white.  Oh, God, I really did die.  Is he here to show me the path to the next world?

“I’m dead, aren’t I?” I ask plainly.  What is there to really say?

“No, son, you aren’t, but you want to be.  Sometimes, a person can just let go because they don’t think they deserve to live.  It has nothing to do with doctors being able to revive them.  They just stop trying because they think it’s best, but that’s not the case this time.  You deserve to live, Grant.”

“How can you say that?  You hate me.”  Old hurts come back to haunt me.  Ironic, isn’t it?

“I’m sorry you’ve felt that way all this time.  I was a fool, son.  I tried to call you back, but it was too late.”

“I’m not your son.  Remember?”

“I was so wrong to tell you that.  You will always be my son.  Blood means nothing to me.  I was and will always be proud to be your dad, Grant.”

I shake my head, not able to believe the words I’m hearing.  He’s dead.  This can’t be real.  I’m in hell and this is how I’ll live out my eternal damnation, hearing the words I long to hear and knowing they can’t be true.

“But you said—”

He shakes his head, sadness morphing his face.  “I know.  My
pride
got in the way.  It’s such a small word, but it can cripple a person.  It can make us inept at moving on and doing what we know is right.  I know I should have told you I love you, but the words lodged in my throat.  It doesn’t matter to me that you don’t share my blood.  I was so angry with Gloria for her betrayal, but I took it out on you.  I asked myself why thousands of times and the only answer I came up with is that I knew you loved me enough to forgive me.

His words are exactly what I’ve wanted to hear for so long, but my heart and mind are at war.  “I want to believe you, but it’s not easy to undo years of rejection.”

I can’t look at him, feeling like I’m disappointing him again.

“I’m so sorry I caused you all these years of pain.  I need you to know that I loved you then, love you now, and will love you every day of your life.  I’ll be watching you always, son.  I want you to be the great man you told about the last day you saw me.”

I meet his eyes now, mine full of tears.  “I’m not a great man anymore, Dad.  I’ve done terrible things.  I’m sorry I let you down.”

“Shh, Grant.  I know what you’ve done and I take responsibility for so much of that.  You would have been a much different man had I not turned you away.  You’ll never know how much I regret our last moments together.  I only hope you can forgive me.”

I step into his waiting arms and feel love surround me.  “Of course, I forgive you.  You were my best friend.  I’ve missed you.  I’m so glad we’re reunited.”

“No.  Not reunited.”

I pull back a little and sad eyes meet mine.

“I don’t have much time, son, but I want you to know that I love you.  You have a group of people waiting for you to wake up.  They love you, too.  Please wake up, son.  Fight.  It’s not your time.”

He starts to fade before my eyes.  “No, Dad, don’t go.  Please, don’t leave me again.”

I try to grab for him, but he’s gone.  I turn in circles, but he’s nowhere to be found.  “Dad.  Dad!”

“I’m right here, son.”  I feel a hand on my arm and hear beeping all around me.  It’s dark and I realize my eyes are closed.  I slowly open them, just a tiny bit.  Through slitted vision, I see Mikos staring down at me.  What the hell is going on?

Where is Nathan?

My mind is foggy and I can’t comprehend how Nathan turned into Mikos.

“I’ll be right back, Grant.  I’m just going to tell the nurse you’re awake.”

Awake?  Of course.  Nathan was a dream.

But…it felt so real.

I blink my eyes a few times and finally open them all the way, taking in the hospital room around me.  Tucker is sitting in a chair a few feet away from me.  “Hey,” I say.

“Hey.  Good to see you awake, man.  You gave us quite a scare.”

I don’t know what look I give him, but he says, “Do you remember what happened?”

Unfortunately, I remember too much.  Memories of the time I was trapped with Davyd come flooding back to mind.  Panic rushes over me.  My heart starts to race and Tucker jumps from the chair.

“It’s okay, man.  He can’t hurt you anymore.  He’s dead.”

“Dead?  Cammie?  Did he?”  Words rush out, but I can’t finish my question.  What if he got to her?  I don’t know what happened after my world went black.

“She’s fine.  She’s in the waiting room with her parents.  Grams, Adriana, Eddie and your mom are there, too.”

There’s no being fine after the horrors she witnessed, after the torment she went through.  It’s my fault her innocence is gone.  Cammie knows real fear because of me.   No one can take that away for her.  I’ll never forgive myself for that.

“Her parents wanted to take her back to Ohio as soon as she was cleared to leave, but she wasn’t going anywhere until she saw you,” Tucker says with a smile.

“Tell her to go home.”

“Don’t do this to her, Grant,” he pleads with me.

“I’m doing this for her.  You weren’t there…you don’t know.  She needs to get away from me.  Look what happens to people in my life.  Please, Tucker, make her go.  I don’t want to see her.  I-I can’t.”

He doesn’t answer me, but nods as Mikos walks in with the nurse.  The nurse checks my vitals and tells me the doctor will be in shortly to talk to me about how my surgery went.  I look at her dumbfounded.  I wasn’t aware I had surgery.

Mikos and Tucker fill me in on what happened after I blacked out.  The commotion I heard was the cops breaking in.  The sound I thought was an explosion was Davyd being shot by the police as he went to stab me again.  That memory made me do a once over.  That’s when I see the tube coming out of my side under my armpit.  Tucker explained it’s a chest tube.  I have a collapsed lung from being stabbed.

They tell the tale of my rescue and how it started with the police shooting Davyd and the paramedics hustling me to the ambulance where they quickly started compressions and removing air with a syringe.  I feel sick hearing them talk about it.  Can a person live with one lung?  Will my lung work again?  Questions roll through my still foggy mind.

They go on to tell me I had to have immediate surgery when I arrived at the hospital and that’s why I have a tube sticking out of my side, but I should make a full recovery.  They even think the doctor will be springing me from ICU in the morning.