Beneath His Darkness (Healing Hearts #3) (33 page)

The pizza arrives, everyone has drinks, and I’m doing my best to act like I belong amongst this group of people who obviously adore each other.  Even Vic has found her place among them.  I do not belong here.  After I eat, I’ll make my retreat.  That’s when they’ll be logging into Skype anyway.  I can avoid hurting Cammie and stop feeling like a bug under a microscope.

I bring the empty boxes out to the trash and use this time to pull my disappearing act.  When I step inside, I see the ladies gushing over Adriana’s ring and the guys are congratulating Tucker again.  It’s perfect.  I quietly walk past the distracted crowd and head away from the commotion.  I place my foot on the first stair when I hear, “Just where do you think you’re going?”

I half turn to see Victoria standing there with her hands on her hips.

I knew her not saying anything to me was too good to be true.  “Listen, Vic, tonight is about Tucker and Adriana.  I’m sure you have plenty to say to me and I deserve all of it, but let’s not ruin things for them.  They deserve a great night.  That’s why I’m going upstairs.  You don’t have to be bothered by me anymore.”

I start to turn when she says, “I get it now.  Why you did what you did.  I don’t hate you anymore.  I thought nothing would ever change my mind about loathing you.”  I cringe at her words, though I deserve to hear them.  “But, knowing the truth, I realize you have reasons for being how you are.  I’m sorry for all that’s happened to you.”

“I don’t want your pity.”

“You don’t have it.  There’s a difference between being sorry for the tragedies a person has gone through and feeling sorry for someone.  I don’t feel sorry for you.  You’re a strong person, Grant Andrews.  Don’t forget that over the next few months.  Now, your brother is expecting you to be at his party.  I think it would upset him if you left.”

I think I’m in the Twilight Zone.

Vic heads back to the party and I follow her.  Adrian asks her a couple questions and I know they’re about me, but she smiles the entire time she answers them.  That’s the Vic I wanted her to be, strong and happy.

“Tuck, Adri, I’m so happy for you guys,” booms through the kitchen.  “Yeah, congratulations you two.”

I turn to see Eddie and Cammie’s faces on the same screen.  She’s smiling until she sees me.  The flinch is visible and I want to kick myself for the pain I’ve caused her.  Tucker and Eddie told her what I did.  Her eyes mist over and I can’t keep looking.

“Want to see my ring, Cammie?”  Thank God for Adriana.  I don’t know whether she saw the interaction between Cammie and me, but nothing about it was good.  She’s no longer my buttercup.

Grams pops up on the other screen and I can’t stop my smile.  I’ve had a few phone conversations with her and in just a short amount of time, I’ve come to feel like I’ve always known her.  She knows the truth, too.  She told me she’s disappointed in my initial decision, but she’s proud that I came forward with the truth.  The night I talked to her about it, I was floored when she told me, “Pain can make us do awful things.  It can morph us into people we don’t recognize, but love…love can inspire us to greatness.”

I told her I didn’t think I was capable of love because I wasn’t sure I had a heart.  Her next words, I’m still trying to process.  “Poppycock.  You’re my grandson and the one thing I know of every person with Stavros blood is that they are led by emotion.  Emotion comes from the heart, Grant.  I guarantee yours beats strong.  You just have to learn to listen to it.”

I want her to be right.  I want to believe I can correct all that I’ve made wrong, but I learned a long time ago, you can’t move mountains.

I stay around the outskirts of the party, answering when spoken to.  I also chatted with Grams a little.  I know she wanted me to talk to Cammie, but this party is not the time for that.  Tucker asked me to stick around after everyone left.  He mentioned Eddie needed to talk to the two of us and I’ve been freaking out since.

The lawyers said the networks are coming after me full-bore.  I expected that.  I don’t know exactly what that means, but it can’t be good.  Tucker’s agent has already put together press releases and is waiting for his lawyer and the network’s legal team to approve them before it all goes public.  I can’t imagine what else Eddie has to say on top of that.  I want to kick everyone the fuck out so we can get on with the conversation, but this is Tucker’s moment and I won’t take it away from him.

He’s lost enough and he’s losing more because of me.

I hear Cammie say she has to head home.  I watch her say goodbye to Tucker and Adriana through the screen.  She’s still so beautiful.  Her eyes scan the crowd until she finds me.  I wish I could say something, anything, to make things better, but there’s nothing that will change what I’ve done.  I shake my head and avert my eyes to the floor.  When I look back up, she’s gone.  Only Eddie’s face fills the screen.

The others must have taken Cammie’s goodbye as it being the end of the party because things quickly break up after that.  One by one, they hug and kiss the happy couple, offering extra congratulations.  Tucker and Adriana beam with joy.  I feel like an interloper being here.

When all the guests are gone, Tucker tells Adriana we have to talk to Eddie for a few minutes.  She looks nervous, but she tells him she’ll wait up for him before giving him a kiss and heading toward the stairs.  I’m grateful that she didn’t stay.  I have no idea what bomb Eddie might drop.

“Did you warn Davyd you were going to tell the truth?” Eddie blasts at me.

“Excuse me?”  I try not to have an attitude, but I fail.  I went to them with the truth and I don’t appreciate the accusations now.  I know I shouldn’t be so uppity considering the circumstances, but dammit, I’m done being accused.  Ask me if you have a question, don’t just fucking assume because I’m normally the asshole.

“Did you tell Davyd you were coming to us?”  I can see he’s getting angry.

“One, there was no us.  I went to Tucker and he had me go to you, and two, no, I didn’t warn Davyd.  The last time I spoke to him was the night of Tucker’s benefit.  I told him our deal was over.  He was pissed, but I haven’t spoken to him outside of work since.”

“Are you sure?”

What the fuck did he not understand about what I just said?

“Are you deaf?” I ask.

“Whoa, whoa, guys,” Tucker interjects before either of us can say anything else.  “This is a highly volatile situation we’re dealing with.  Let’s all step back a second and realize we’re on the same team.  Eddie, what’s up with Davyd?”

Eddie sighs.  “The fucker is gone.”

“Gone?  What do you mean gone?” I blubber out.

“Are you the deaf one now?  I went to his house to talk to him and the door was unlocked and partially open.  It’s completely cleaned out, like he was warned to clear out quick.  So, again, I’m gonna ask—”

“I didn’t fucking tell him anything!  I hate that motherfucker and if I could, I’d break his fucking neck!”

Both Tucker and Eddie sit there in silence.  They have no idea the deal I made with the devil and now the devil is on the loose.  I can feel the fires of hell reaching out to burn me.

“Fine,” Eddie says.  “I’ll get a private investigator involved to find him.  I have one other thing to talk to you guys about and this is a decision you both have to make.”

Tucker and I look at each other and back to the screen.

“You know the network is planning to go after Grant for a huge sum of money.  They’re screaming about loss of revenue and the loss of pay for the crew and actors.”  We nod.  We’d heard this from the lawyers.  Even with the money I’ve invested from my inheritance and what I’ve made from commercials and this show, I’ll never be able to swing what they’re talking about, but I’ll have to figure something out.

“Well, I was thinking…what if I pitched them something they may want more than the money?”

“What do networks want more than money?” Tucker asks.

“Ratings,” Eddie replies.  “Ratings bring in the money.  You and Grant have quite the story to tell.  If you two are willing to have me write it, I can pitch it to the network.  They can decide whether they want it as a show, movie, or mini-series.  It might just get Grant out of some of this trouble, but it will put you two in the spotlight big time.  This is your personal life and you have to decide whether you’re okay with it all being public.”

I’m speechless.  Eddie is seriously trying to figure out how to help me after I tanked his show?

“I’m all for it,” Tucker says, almost instantaneously.

“Tucker, think about this,” I say.  “They’ll know about Mikos abandoning you.  About your mom’s cancer and me trying to destroy you.  Do you really want the world to know how awful your life has been at the hands of your family?”

He’s ready to jump in and save me, but I can’t let him do that.  I’m trying to save him from further hurt.

“They’re going to start digging anyway, Grant.  I’d rather we tell them our story than some paparazzi asshole spin it into something it wasn’t.  Wouldn’t you?”

I hadn’t thought of it that way.

“The press releases will start soon and then it’s going to be a hailstorm of questions from every angle.  If we can say our story is being written, that can be a constant go to answer.  Yes, stories will still be put out there and there’s no way to stop that, but our truth will set things right.”

“Okay.”  It’s all I can say.  Tucker was right that night in his apartment when he said we’d find a way to figure this out.  There’s still a lot up in the air, but he’s sticking by me and we’re making this work.  I still have my brother.

Chapter Thirty Eight

Cammie

It’s been a couple weeks since the night Eddie asked me to come to his place because he needed to tell me something.  I could tell by the tone of his voice that it wasn’t good, but I never expected the news to hurt so much.  When I got there, he had Tucker on speakerphone and together, they told me what Grant had done.  I tried to hold it together while they explained
Magic in the Blood
had our scripts the entire season and would be running nearly identical episodes for the last two.  I failed.  How could Grant have done this and I never suspected him capable of it?

Everyone around me tried warning me that Grant was a bad guy.  He even told me himself, but would I listen?  Hell no!  I took all those awful, ugly words, threw them into a box, and closed it tight, needing to believe if that box stayed shut, it couldn’t be true.  I still don’t want to believe it.  My career is in jeopardy because of his actions and yet, I can’t bring myself to turn away from him.  No, I want to run to him and calm the storm I know is brewing in his mind and heart.  He has to be beating himself up and that thought has me worried.

I wanted to go to him in New Hampshire, but Tucker said it wasn’t a good idea.  Grant was barely able to leave the guest room at Adriana’s.  His guilt wouldn’t allow him to stomach being around people for more than a few minutes.  Outside of the engagement party, Tucker said Grant stayed holed up, convinced he didn’t deserve to be in anyone’s company.  Every call I made to check in on Grant broke my heart more.  He’s suffering and there’s nothing I can do to help.

These couple of weeks, waiting for Grant to return, have been hell.  Having the press releases go live, waiting to see how fans and the crew would react, and waiting to see him has taken its toll on me.  I haven’t wanted to eat.  I listen to every conversation I can with his name in it.  I buy every tabloid involving him.  It feels like a sickness, but I need to know what’s going on so I can help him get better.  I will not let him turn me away.

That’s what I tell myself as I head to his apartment and walk right past Benny to the elevator.  When he tries to stop me, I give him the look of death and tell him if Grant Andrews wants to throw me out of the building, then he is going to have to do it himself.  I’m not sure what he sees in my face, but he throws his hands up and goes back to work.  I do feel bad that I’m interfering with his job, but nothing is keeping me from Grant.  I need him to see what he means to me.

My legs are shaking and my palms are sweaty as I stand before his door.  It takes every ounce of my control to keep me upright.  My insides feel like jelly and I wonder if I’ll pass out before I get a word out.  I want to be strong for him, but I don’t know if I am that type of person.  I knock anyway, the knock that will tell him it’s me.

“Oh for motherfucking Christ’s sake,” I hear from the other side of the door.

I was hoping for a more positive response, but I guess I have to take whatever I can get.  Footsteps boom across his floor and I can picture his mouth turned down in anger at my intrusion.  The door flies open and before me stands a man I don’t recognize.  I gasp involuntarily.

“What do you want, Cammie?” he demands, but the force is lost on me.  He looks so broken.  His eyes are blood shot and he’s easily lost ten pounds.  His hair doesn’t look like it’s been brushed and he hasn’t shaved in days.  His t-shirt is rumpled and his shoulders are turned in on themselves.  This is not the man I fell in love with.

“I needed to see you,” I say as I walk by him.  I don’t ask for his permission or wait for him to step aside.

“Why?”  He closes the door, but doesn’t attempt to come closer.

“We’re friends, remember?”  I try to keep my voice light, but I hear the tremble.  I’m not afraid of him, but I’m afraid for him.  Seeing him like this, I worry how far he’ll let himself go.

“Friends,” he huffs in disgust.  “Do friends fuck each other when they know they’re about to destroy the other one?  Is that how you describe friendship, buttercup?”

I hate that he’s trying to goad me and I hate that he’s using his nickname for me even more.  I refuse to let him work me into a fight.  I came here to help him, not let him sink further into despair.  Tucker and I have had many talks and we both feel I’m the one person Grant ever truly cared for.

“Are you done or do you want to spew more hatred at me?”  I skewer him with my eyes.  “You can tell me a million things you’ve done wrong, Grant, but I will still be your friend.  I love you and deep down in your heart, you know the words I speak are the truth.  You just have to be willing to hear them.”