Besieged (32 page)

"Well, they were bound to find out who you are eventually. I think they've portrayed you quite well." I smile at her and stroke her hair, trying to calm her.

"I just know there will be rumours and speculation that you're still up to old tricks." She huffs. "They just love the idea of you fucking a different celebrity each week."

I roll over her, pressing her into the mattress. I cup her face with my hand. "But I'm not. I'm with you, and no-one else even comes close to you in my eyes. How can you doubt my feelings for you?" I kiss her nose.

She sighs. "I know. I trust you." She relaxes against me and runs her fingers into my hair. "I just hate being perceived as the stupid girlfriend, naive to your ways." She rolls her eyes.

"It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." I press my lips to hers firmly. "You are everything I want." I whisper against her lips.

She kisses me back hard, her lips part allowing me access to her tongue. She hums against my lips. I pull away to kiss her throat, leaving her breathless.

"Okay. You're right." She sighs.

"Of course. I'm always right."

She runs her fingers across my stubble, holding my gaze. "Well as much as I would love to stay right here I need to get ready for work and the guaranteed barrage of shit I'm going to get for fucking my client." She presses her lips to mine quickly before shimmying out from underneath me. I watch her naked retreating back as she makes her way into the bathroom. I may need to take a cold shower after watching her perfect little arse.

Over the next couple of days I have photographers outside my offices. I was then hounded by them outside Florell and Simmons when I went to pick Lilly up for lunch, and they were at her flat when I dropped her off that evening. Jesus, surely they've got better things to do.

I can cope with the press, I’m used to it, but Lilly’s not. I just hope the vultures don’t go dragging through every scrap of information they can find about her, it might be enough to spook her.

I'm in the office on Wednesday morning when Hugo bursts through the door. He's wearing what looks like gym kit and he's out of breath. He's carrying only a newspaper.

"Jesus Hugo, don't you knock." It's only eight thirty and I haven't had coffee yet, which always leaves me in a sour mood. Speaking of which, what the hell is Hugo doing up this early, he's usually hung-over...or still pissed.

"I came as soon as I saw it. I was worried you'd see it on the street or something and freak out." His face is etched with concern.

"What are you on about?"

He puts the paper down in front of me and steps back carefully as though it were explosive.

There's a big picture of Lilly and I leaving her offices on Monday lunchtime.

The article reads:
Lilly Parker Court Case

Lilly Parker, the twenty two year old Girlfriend of Theodore Ellis is due in court at the end of the month. Miss Parker was the victim of a vicious University Date Rape scandal back in September last year, whereby she was drugged with Rohypnol and sexually attacked. She was overdosed with the drug, resulting in a week long coma after the attack. The suspect, twenty two year old Daryl Lawson was caught after another attack on Saturday night. The evidence at this stage is unclear, but sources have confirmed DNA evidence has linked Mr Lawson to both attacks.......

I stop reading. By the time I put the paper down my hands are shaking. A red mist descends as the anger and fury slowly take a hold of me. It pulses through me like a tangible force, beating away at me.

"She was raped?" I barely whisper.

"Wait, you didn't know?!" Hugo's eyebrows shoot up.

"Some bastard fucking raped her!" I roar. Suddenly everything clicks into place. Her behaviour, her mistrust of people. I've never been one to lose my temper, but I have a near desperate desire to kill the faceless man responsible for this.

"Fuck Theo. I mean, I was shocked, but I assumed you knew. Shit. I'm sorry man. I just thought you'd maybe try and protect her from it. The press are going to be all over her for this."

"She didn't tell me." I growl. "She didn't trust me enough to tell me." I stand abruptly pulling on my jacket, before striding from the room. I don't stop until I'm in the elevator. Hugo hops in with me.

"Theo, I know your upset right now, but please don't do anything rash." The doors ping open. He grabs my shoulder. "You know where I am if you need to talk."

"Thanks." I mumble as I stalk through the lobby. A few paparazzi wait outside the building.

"Mr Ellis, Mr Ellis." They shout. "How do you feel about your girlfriends up and coming court appearance?" I turn toward the pack of vultures and glare at them. A few of them physically recoil away from me.

"How do you think I feel!?" I shout. Cameras click furiously as I stalk to the pavement and hail a cab. I left in such a rush I didn't get a chance to even call James.

Once in the cab I call through to Kerry, the head of P.R.

"Mr Ellis?" Kerry's voice sounds nervous, as it should be with this shit storm getting out.

"Why the fuck is my girlfriend’s court case spread all over the fucking Sun?!" I yell.

"Sir, I'm sorry. We've heard nothing about it until this morning." She stammers.

"Well I want whatever waste of space that felt the need to write that article finished. I want to know how they got hold of the information in the first place. Is that clear?!" I seethe.

"Yes sir." I hang up.

The cab pulls up outside Circus House. I throw some notes at him and cross the pavement into the building.

I don't bother to stop and speak to the receptionist when I reach the Thirteenth floor. My anger is still very much in full effect as I walk straight down the corridor to Lilly's office. I knock once before pushing the door open. Lilly's shocked gaze meets mine.

"Hi..." She looks confused.

"Mr Ellis." Mr Walker is welcoming but clearly perplexed by my unexpected arrival.

"Mr Walker could you please give us a moment." My eyes never leave Lilly. I grind my teeth in an attempt to keep the rage contained. Walker leaves, perhaps sensing this isn't the time to question me. The door quietly clicks shut behind him.

"Have you seen page five of The Sun this morning?" I ask coldly, keeping my voice low.

"Um, no. It's not really my kind of thing." She frowns.

"Well I have. Never the best place to find out that your girlfriend was raped." I secretly hope that she'll tell me it's all just a fabrication of the press, a complete lie, but her face goes white.

She closes her eyes. "No, no, no." She whispers. Her head drops into her hands. My anger dissipates slightly at seeing her crumble.

I lean against her desk and touch her shoulder. "Lilly why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"No-one knows. Until now." The horror is clear on her features as she lifts her head.

"No-one?"

"Only Molly and George knew." She shakes her head. "Because they were there."

"But you didn't think I deserved to know something like this?" I say flatly.

Her eyes snap up to meet mine. "No, I didn't, not yet. It's my shit to deal with Theo." She says coldly.

"So instead I have to find out at the same time as the rest of the world!?" I try to bite back the flash of temper.

"You know what Theo, this isn't about you. It's not something you needed to know. What I choose to tell you is my fucking choice." Her voice is low and distant. I can almost see the moment where the shutters come down, blocking me out as though I were just any other person and not the guy who would walk on hot coals for her. I know she's just hurting, but it still fucking kills me that she won't let me in.

"Jesus Christ Lilly, this isn't just a titbit of information, this is huge. If I'd known I could have made sure this never got into the papers at all." I run my hands through my hair as I start pacing the room. "Why do you have to be so god damn evasive all the time?!" I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to rein it in.

Her fiery temper surfaces like a viper. "I don't need you to protect me Theo. I don't need anyone. Fuck off and go and play the caveman role elsewhere." She screams, spitting venom in my direction.

My temper jumps to the forefront burning in my chest and boiling over, spurred by her blatant rejection. "Fuck!" I launch my fist into the nearest wall, leaving a hole in the dry wall. I grit my teeth and take deep breaths before turning to her. Her eyes are blazing with fury, ready for the fight. Something in me breaks. "Fine Lilly. You know what fucking fine. You don't tell me shit anyway. I'm done with all these secrets and lies. This relationship is such bullshit!" I turn on my heel and storm out. I don't stop until I'm in the back of a cab again.

The red hot rage starts to give way to something else. As I piece together the fragmented shards of Lilly's closed off personality I see a woman who is broken. I feel the loss for the trusting carefree woman she could have been and a crippling pain over the tragic events inflicted upon that woman. I want to take away her pain and hold her.

No matter how hard I try though I can't let it go, I can't move past the hurt and betrayal that I feel over her lack of trust in me. God I'm such a selfish arsehole.

Within an hour of my leaving her office I call Lilly to apologise. It goes to answerphone, so I call again, same result. I call fifteen times in the next three hours. Nothing. In the end I call Walkers office, but he tells me she's gone home for the rest of the day.

I pull up outside Lilly's flat and see the Maserati parked outside on double yellow lines. She must be in.

I press the buzzer a few times before someone eventually answers. "Hello?"

"Lilly?"

"No, it's me, Molly." Her voice is quiet.

"Is she there?" The desperation leaks into my voice.

"She had a rough morning. She's taking a nap."

I rest my head against the door in defeat. "I really fucked up." I say quietly.

"Yeah, you did. Look, give me five minutes." The speaker crackles and then goes dead.

A few minutes later Molly opens the door and steps outside. "Let’s take a walk." She heads off down the pavement as I slowly turn and follow her in a daze. We cross the road into Holland Park.

We walk for a while before I break the silence. "How is she?" I ask.

"Okay, all things considered. She's tough, you know that." Her eyes soften as she talks about her friend.

"She is." I whisper. "I was a total prick to her earlier." The guilt grips me painfully.

She nods. "Yeah, from what I can gather you were kind of a douche." She smiles.

"I didn't know what to do. I guess I was just pissed that she didn't tell me you know." I search her features.

"I know." She gives me a reassuring nod. "But you have to realise that she's has been through a lot. Lilly's tough exterior is the result of having to toughen up. Lilly learned very early on, too early on, that the world is a tough place and people can be very cruel.  The Lilly you know is just a protective wall for the person I know underneath it. She will have wanted to tell you, I expect she was just trying to find the right time. She never talks about it, not to anyone." She shakes her head and looks desperately sad.

"I...was it..." I take a deep breath, unable to form the words that I'm not sure I want an answer to.

Her eyes fix me. "Was it bad?" I nod my head. She sighs. "The most horrific thing I've ever seen...I found her. I should have kept a better eye on her, but never in a million years did I think that would happen." Her face contorts in pain. We pause at a bench under an oak tree and sit. "We were at a house party. She was barely tipsy, and George was wasted, so I was keeping an eye on him. Even when I noticed she was missing I just assumed she'd pulled." Her eyes drop to her hands in her lap. Her eyebrows pinch together. I can tell this is hard for her. "After a while I went upstairs to find her." She gasps a shuddering sharp intake of breath as a tear slips down her cheek.

I sit closer to her and wrap an arm around her shoulders. "You don't have to tell me Molly."

She shakes her head. "No I do, because Lilly will never tell you." She takes a deep breath. "When I opened the door all I saw at first was a bed and then blood. I panicked. She was unconscious and I couldn't work out where the bleeding was coming from. Then I noticed her lips were blue. She wasn't breathing." A sob shakes her frame. "I gave her CPR and screamed for someone to call an ambulance." Her eyes are distant as she relives the night. "When the ambulance got there they had to defibrillate her." More tears stream down her cheeks.

She turns to look at me again. "The forensics surmised that she was overdosed with Rohypnol, enough to stop her heart, but she still put up a fight until the drugs over powered her. The blood was from a cut to her head, probably from the struggle. He broke her wrist and two ribs as well. She was in a coma for six days. The police photographed all the bruises and took DNA samples. Bastard didn't even use a condom." She sniffs. “When she woke up, she didn't say a word about it. It's like she just pretended it never happened. The worst part about it is that she'd already had a terrible life before that.” She looks at me. “I know you love her Theo, but you can’t even begin to guess what she’s been through. It’s a wonder she can even get out of bed in the morning. She was trying to get her life back when the rape happened. I thought after that she might be damaged beyond repair." She shakes her head. "In true Lilly fashion, she picked herself up, dusted herself off and got on with her life. I wish I had half her strength.” She smiles. “You know, if that happened to me I think I’d be suicidal, but Lilly didn't shed a single tear. I asked her to go and see a psychiatrist, but she wouldn't. Instead she took up self-defence training."

"Yeah, I've seen her in action. That must have been some teacher." I whisper, afraid that if I raise my voice at all it'll crack. Unable to respond to what I've just been told, the images flash through my mind and my heart breaks for the woman I love more than anything in this world. I would give anything to protect her from this.