Besotted (16 page)
A:
She’d pissed me off at the restaurant so I was determined not to go out of my way to be nice. I would simply treat her as one did a whore. I’d paid for her and we had an agreement and that was that. She’d said she didn’t want it sweet and flowery, so I’d give it to her straight. But then I found out she was virgin and you know the rest…
Q: Do you remember your first impression of Lana’s best friend, Billie?
A:
I’d never actually met anyone like her, a woman with spider tattoos on her neck! Obviously, I’ve seen pictures of women like that, but I’d never met one in person. I was rather shocked though, by how level-headed she was…and her loyalty to Lana surprised and impressed me. She’s unique.
Q: And what about how you felt when you were introduced to Jack?
A:
Straight off I knew that he was in love with Lana and I remember that I didn’t like it, but I also knew Lana held him in high esteem so I said nothing. Left it alone and waited to see what would develop.
Q: Could you describe for my readers what you felt when Lana arrived at Madame Yula?
A:
The first time: pure excitement. Couldn’t wait to undress her. And when she came wearing that electric blue blouse and those leather trousers, I experienced in my body the powerful sensation of ownership. That was the moment she became mine. And the more I tried to fight the feeling the more deeply I wanted her.
That night I wanted brand her, with my lips, my body, my dick. I wanted to come inside her.
Q: And the second time?
A:
Totally different. I was furious with her and I wanted my revenge, and yet even I knew it was more than that. Much more. As soon as she walked through the door, everyone else ceased to exist, I felt that invisible pull, and I all I wanted to do was grab her by the hair, drag her back to the apartment fuck her so hard walking was no longer an option.
Q: What did you really feel the moment you discovered Lana was a virgin?
A:
Shock. I was shocked. I’d never been with a virgin. And when she cried…I was confused.
Q: Confused?
A:
Yeah. I was overwhelmed by a strong totally foreign urge to hold and comfort her. And those kinds of emotions I didn’t want or need. This was meant to be sex thing. Three months, maybe four, tops six. So wanting to hold on to someone you’ve paid money to use: warning bells were clanging in my head.
Q: What was going through your head when you met Lana’s mother?
A:
She was sweet and well educated and she obviously loved her daughter very much. I liked her and I was very sorry when I heard she died. Something brave about her. Lana has that same quality. I rate it very highly in a person.
Q: At what point did you realize your feelings had changed towards Lana?
A:
It happened almost immediately, but I was slow to recognize it, or more likely, I didn’t want to recognize it.
Q; The first morning, waking up together, what did you feel?
A:
The morning-after scene is always a bore, but seduced by the smell of her hair and the feel of her skin—he has the most amazing skin, like a baby soft and silky—I stayed.
Q: What went through your head when Lana first declared her love to you?
A:
If someone takes money to leave you while you are lying unconsciousness in some hospital and afterwards never bothers to contact you again, what would you think if they then claimed to love you. What would you think? Exactly. I thought she was a fucking liar and I hated her guts, but still I wanted her.
Q: Which emotion was stronger, anger or lust, when you met Lana again at the bank?
A:
To start with anger, somewhere in the middle of the encounter, lust. And then when she cried over her mother’s death, tenderness, and then it was back to fury. And as she rose to leave, pure triumph. I got her…where I wanted her.
Q: How did you deal with having to choose Lana over his father?
A:
Sometimes I have nightmares. In it I am in the plane with my father. He is in his thirties. His hair is without grey and he is slim and tall. He is calmly eating chateaubriand with béarnaise sauce and chips.
“You betrayed me,” he says, wiping his mouth on a napkin. “The same fate awaits you.”
And a hole appears in the side of the plane and he is sucked out. His expression is one of indescribable terror. “Your son will do to you what you have done to me.”
And I wake up in a cold sweat.
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