Bet Your Life (21 page)

“Tilly always cooks for us when she’s feeling guilty about something.” Karen stretched out her hands and stared at them, then laid them back down on the coverlet. “I wonder what that could be.”

“She likes looking after people. She likes to help.”

“She disapproves of the way my husband and your mother have been carrying on. This is her way of making it up to me. It’s pretty inadequate. She knows that, and yet she keeps cooking.”

I went hot, then cold. “What do you mean? Mum would
never
—”

She interrupted. “Molly is weak. She always was. She would always do whatever Dan said.”

“Not if it meant cheating.”

“You are so young.”
And stupid
was the subtext.

“I know my mother. And I know that she would never do anything with a married man. Dad cheated on her and it almost killed her.”

Her eyebrows went up an inch. For the first time, she looked happy. “Did it hurt her feelings because he preferred someone else? How perfect. I could have told her what that was like.”

I held onto my temper with great difficulty. “It’s not the same and she doesn’t deserve that remark. She didn’t do anything wrong. You married Dan even though he was in love with her—which you knew—and she left town so she wasn’t in your way. How is your situation her fault? Blame Dan by all means, but leave Mum out of it.”

“Of course Molly always knew how to make it look as if she’d done the right thing.” Karen’s hands clenched on the coverlet for a moment, then relaxed. “There’s nothing I can say that will convince you you’re wrong, but just open your eyes. Look at what’s in front of you. I’m stuck in here and even I know they’ve been sneaking around.”

“You’re wrong.”

“You should think it’s romantic. Star-crossed lovers. Love will find a way, no matter what.” Her voice was bitter. “Which leads us back to you.”

“What about me?”

“You hanging around Will. I don’t want you to have anything more to do with my son.”

“You as well? Everyone is so concerned about this and there’s really no need to be. We’re not together. We’re not going to be together.” If I kept saying it, I might even learn not to mind.

“Dan told you to leave him alone but you kept sniffing around, didn’t you? You don’t like being told what to do.”

“It wasn’t an act of rebellion. We just spent some time together. Being friends.” All right, a bit more than friends, but I wasn’t prepared to go into it with her. As it happened, I didn’t need to.

“Don’t pretend it was all innocent. I saw you together, in the garden.” She looked over at the window. “That view is all I have to look at. I spend a lot of time watching the birds. And anything else that moves. I saw Will climbing over the wall to be with you. I saw you and him in our garden. You were all over him.”

“We didn’t do anything wrong. We kissed a few times. That was it.”

“You thought you could hide what you were doing, but I knew all along that you were lying,” Karen spat.

“What I’ve just said is the truth.”

“I don’t believe you. Lying is in your blood. Sneaking around comes naturally to you. And you snared Will, didn’t you? It was the first thing you did when you got here. You made him fall for you, the same way your mother got her hooks into Dan.”

I ignored the bit about Mum. “I didn’t make him do anything. I liked him and he liked me. But it’s over now.”

“Over?” She gave a brittle laugh. “I don’t think so. I saw your face when you were looking at the photographs.”

“It’s not about how I feel. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. I’ve done my best to make sure he doesn’t.” I shook my head. “You’re making assumptions about me that aren’t fair. I was the one who broke up with him. I wanted him to be able to stay here, so he could be with you.”
Because you’re dying.
At that thought, my temper began to fade. Why shouldn’t she be bitter, with her ill health, horrible sham of a marriage, her vindictive, uncaring husband, and her beloved son far away most of the time? What had I expected? Kittens and roses? I took a moment, then said, “I was just trying to do the right thing. I know you must hate me because Will’s not here, but it’s really not my fault that Dan sent him away.”

“Dan didn’t send him away. I did.”

“What?” I stared at her. “But Will thinks—”

“I know. He assumed it was Dan and I let him think it. Dan can take it.” She glared at me. “Don’t even think about telling him. He’d never forgive you for telling him the truth.”

“And you’re lecturing me about lying?” I shook my head. “How can you?”

“I want what’s best for him. And I want him to stay away from you.”

“So you broke his heart by making him leave Port Sentinel, and you. Do you know how much he worries about you?”

“He would never have left of his own volition, no matter how good the opportunity was. I made it easy for him. I made the sacrifice on his behalf.” She looked proud.

“You should tell him.”

“Absolutely not. You mustn’t either. It would only confuse him.”

“Confuse him? Yeah, that’s one way to put it. What you’ve done is evil.”

“He’s a good boy. Too good for you.” She tried to sit up, leaning forward. “I would rather die without him than see him with you.”

“Listen to yourself,” I said, appalled. “How can you be so cruel? I’m not my mother, and Will isn’t Dan. You’re not fighting the same fight all over again. You don’t win anything if you keep us apart. You’re hurting Will and you’re depriving yourself of his company, for no reason.”

“I think I’m doing the right thing.” She looked stubborn. “You have your own agenda. I have mine.”

One last try. “Look, if this is really about me, you’re not doing the right thing because there’s no reason to send him away. Will and I are never getting back together. Please, for his sake, just let him come home.”

She stared at me for a long moment. “How can I be sure you’re not lying again?”

“Because I’m not,” I said lamely. “I don’t know. I really care about Will. As much as you do, even. I want him to be happy.”

“He’s not coming back.” Her voice was flat.

I was furious. “All right. Then there’s no reason for us to be apart, is there? I can see him in the holidays, when he’s at home, and we can do the long-distance thing the rest of the time. Thanks, Karen. You’ve made it really easy for us.”

“It won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’ll resent you. When I die, whether he’s here or not, he’ll regret that he chose you and not me. He’ll blame you for being sent away. He’ll hate you. Is that what you want?”

“No. Of course not. But—”

“I’ve waited for years for Dan to forget about your mother, and he never has. Now it’s your turn to wait.” She turned away from me to look out of the window. “You can have him when I’m dead. Not before.”

I could think of a lot of things to say in response. With great difficulty I managed to stay silent. I walked out of the room and down the stairs. The bitterness I’d seen in Karen’s eyes burned me. All I wanted was to get out into the fresh air and shake off the horrors.

I had my hand on the latch when I heard the tap running in the kitchen. I turned and saw that the door, which I had closed, was wide open. I hesitated, then decided to go. Whether it was Dan or Will, neither of them would be pleased to see me.

And then Will walked over to the sink, silent in his trainers, and I froze.

Too late.

I must have made some noise because he looked round, startled.

“What are you doing here?”

“I brought the food.” I walked as far as the kitchen door. “Macaroni and cheese. Tilly made it.”

I didn’t have to be Miss Marple to deduce he’d been out for a run. He was wearing shorts and a T-shirt that was limp with sweat. His breathing was still a little fast, as if he’d only just come in. Maybe he had. I hadn’t been listening to anything except Karen’s poison.

“And you delivered the food because…”

“Tilly was busy. She couldn’t spare the time.” I remembered another bit of our conversation. “She said you should come for dinner tonight. If you want to.”

“How do you feel about that?” He leaned back against the sink and folded his arms.

“I don’t mind.”

“I see.”

“It’s up to you.”

“Great.”

“Do you think you’ll come?”

“I’ll have to see.” With his back to the window he had the light behind him, but I could still see the bruise on his cheek. It looked painful.

“How’s your face today?”

“Sore.” He put a hand up and touched his cheek gently.

“And your rib? I’m surprised you were able to go running.”

“It was fine. I needed to get out.” He hesitated for a second. “Did you hear about Guy?”

“Being arrested?”

His eyebrows shot up. “I didn’t think it was common knowledge.”

“Your dad told me.”

“Why was that?”

“Because I was having a go at him about not investigating the attack properly.”

“Not because you told him about Guy and Seb.”

“I didn’t. Absolutely not.”

“Oh, so it’s just a coincidence.”

“Yes, it is.” I glowered. “I wouldn’t do that. And I’m surprised at you for thinking I would.”

He was still staring me down. “I’m just worried about Guy.”

“They’ll question him and let him go.”

“Not if he confesses to something he didn’t do.” Will ran his hands through his hair, standing it on end. “He’d throw his life away to be a hero.”

“A hero to whom?”

“Whoever injured Seb. Guy’s going to take the blame and they’re going to get away with it. What were you doing upstairs?”

I blinked at the change of subject. “Your mum asked me to come up. She wanted to meet me.”

“Why?”

“You’ll have to ask her. I don’t know. Maybe she was curious. She knew Mum, back in the day.”

“All too well.”

“Don’t start,” I snapped. “Mum doesn’t deserve that and you know it.”

He held the hard stare for a moment, then dropped his eyes to the floor. “If you say so.”

I shouldn’t have said anything else, but I couldn’t help it. “Do you know … Your dad and my mum…”

“What about them?”

“Do they meet? Secretly, I mean? Have you heard anything about that?”

“Oh, Jess.” He sounded very tired all of a sudden, and sorry, and there was still that edge of anger. “Don’t ask me that. Ask her.”

“What do you know? Why didn’t you tell me?”

His mouth twisted. “Because I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Suddenly I couldn’t stand to be there any more. Operating on auto-pilot, I headed for the door. Will was right behind me. He got his hand to the door before I could and held it shut.

“I want to go.”

“Wait. Jess…”

I turned to look at him and I had the feeling he was going to say something but changed his mind halfway through.

“Did you tell Mum about us?” he asked.

“Firstly, there is no us. Secondly, she knew anyway.”

I saw it hit him; he actually stepped backward. “Was she upset?”

“I don’t know.” Bitter, yes. Upset? Maybe.

“You shouldn’t have come here. You shouldn’t have spoken to her.” Anxiety about his mother made him angry with me, as Karen had predicted. In the old days they’d have burned her as a witch.

Which made me think the old days weren’t all that bad.

“It wasn’t my idea to be here,” I said. “Or to speak to your mother.”

“No. Nothing is ever your fault. I forgot.” He reached past me again, but this time it was to open the door for me. “I don’t think you should come back.”

“You and me both.”

I stalked down the path, dry-eyed for once, and headed for home. I got there in one piece, but afterward, when I thought about the walk back, I couldn’t remember a single step.

15

Dinner at Sandhayes was usually a fairly rowdy affair, just because of the number of conversations that went on at the same time. That night, with two extra people at the table, the only sound was cutlery clinking on plates. Jack hated conflict and had already left, with a pat on the arm from Tilly to show that she understood. We would all have left if we could. Ella had moved to sit beside Hugo so all she could do was look at me meaningfully, but she did that a lot. The problem, not unexpectedly, was sitting opposite me. Since he’d arrived at Sandhayes an hour earlier, Dad had managed to offend everyone, separately and together. I couldn’t decide if the worst moment had been when he laughed at one of Tilly’s paintings, or if it was when he asked Jack what he earned these days, or when he told Hugo to get a haircut.

I looked up and caught Dad’s eye. He was chewing. “Did you make this, Tilly?”

She put down her knife and fork, ready for battle. “Yes, Christopher, I did. Why?”

“Just asking. It’s very interesting.”

“It’s chilli.”

Dad drank an entire glass of water in one swallow, then held it out for a refill. “Your own recipe, I suppose. It has that … inventive quality.”

Tilly looked down at her plate, then checked everyone else’s. No one had eaten much of it. The tension was getting to all of us.

“Usually everyone likes it,” she said in a very small voice.

Instantly, there was a babble around the table as we all rushed to tell her how good it was and how much we were enjoying it.

“Really, Mrs. Leonard,” Ella said earnestly. “I’m not all that into mince but this is awesome.”

“Why don’t you like mince?” Hugo asked, for a new entry in his comprehensive Ella encyclopedia.

She pulled a face. “It could be anything, couldn’t it? Eyeballs and—and bits.”

Tom looked panicked. “Mum, I’m not eating it.”

“Don’t be silly.” Tilly tried to smile at Ella. “This isn’t that sort of mince. I got this from the butcher’s this morning.”

Dad snorted. “Of course you did. You’d never go anywhere as banal as a supermarket. I bet you know the butcher by name. I bet he keeps the best cuts of meat for you, because you’re such a loyal customer.”

“Why is that a bad thing?” Tilly’s face was flushed. She took a gulp from her glass of wine, as if she needed it. “Why do you have to make fun of everything? It’s not a bad thing to support small businesses, Christopher. Just because you don’t have the same values as my family, why are we in the wrong? Why can’t you be wrong?”