Lily fought back a tide of disappointment. She'd hoped to talk to Mrs. Martin to see what she knew about the Stricklands. But that would have to wait. Instead, she voiced the question that haunted her. “The newspaper says I died. How is that possible when it's not true?” She pressed her lips together to stop the quivering.
Nick drew closer, and without hesitation, pulled her into his arms. “I have no idea, but I'm sure we can find out. Together.”
She inhaled the male scent of him, relishing his warmth. Gradually his body heat helped dispel the chill that had enveloped her ever since she'd entered the house.
“If I help you, will you do something for me?” Nick asked.
She backed away to look at his face. “I'll try.”
“Keep this between us for now. Please.”
Lily's gaze moved past Nick to a sparrow as it flew from one branch to another above their heads. Was sharing her burden with Nick worth the loss of control she now felt? Still, she couldn't deny Nick's stake in the situation. “I guess I can do that. For now.” She narrowed her eyes as a sudden question hit her. “What were you doing at the house anyway?”
“Peg called to say she saw the front door open. I thought maybe some neighborhood kids had broken in, but I must have forgotten to lock it the last time I was checking on it for Aunt Sonia.”
She frowned. “I don't understand. What does your aunt have to do with the house?”
He shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “When my aunt and uncle adopted Chloe, they become guardians of the Strickland estate, and Chloe's trust, until she turns eighteen.”
Lily's mind whirled to keep up. “What trust?”
“The house and property, plus whatever money your parents left, all belong to Chloe. Or at least they will when she turns eighteen.” He paused. “I guess now it will have to be divided in two.” An air of suspicion hung in his voice.
“You make it sound like I'm here for the money.”
He exhaled in a loud gust. “Look, I'm sorry. I'm having trouble processing all this.”
She waved aside his apology, her mind still reeling. “How is your aunt going to explain this sudden inheritance to Chloe in a few weeks?”
“I have no idea.”
They began to walk back along the riverbank in silence.
“I'm sorry,” Nick said again after a few moments. “I've been thinking about Chloe and my aunt, and forgetting how hard this must be for you.”
She sighed. “You have no idea.” She shuddered as the visions began to intrude on her consciousness again. The screams of her brothers, gunshots echoing in the hallway, footsteps coming into the room where she was hiding in the closet...
“Do you remember getting shot?”
The gentleness of his voice nearly undid her tightly-held control.
“I don't want to talk about it.” She jerked ahead across the grass as if she could outrun the memories. She sensed him come up beside her again. He took her by the arms, halting her steps, and drew her close.
“I want to help, Lily. For your sake as well as Chloe's.”
The intensity of his gaze held her in place. Then, almost in slow motion, Nick bent toward her. His warm breath fanned her face as his lips hovered above hers. For one brief moment, Lily yearned to be transported beyond the pain, the loneliness, and the fear. To feel safe and cared for.
He's going to be a ministerâjust like your father.
The thought hit her like a physical slap, awakening her out of the fog she'd been in, reminding her she couldn't afford to let her defenses down.
As though sensing her withdrawal, Nick stepped back and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. His eyes shone with remorse. “I'm sorry. I seem to be doing everything wrong today.”
She shook her head, sadness weighing down her shoulders. The wind whipped her hair around her face, and she pushed it back with a resigned sigh. “We don't belong together, Nick. We're too different.”
“How so?”
“You're going to be a minister for one thing.”
A scowl darkened his features. “What does that have to do with anything?”
She lifted her head, determination giving her strength. “I don't want any part of religion. I've had my fill of that hypocrisy, thanks to my father, and I never want to be part of that world again.” Before he could say anything, she turned toward his truck, following the river's edge. A ball of emotion lodged in her chestâa toxic mixture of sorrow, regret, and longing.
“Wait one minute.” Nick's footsteps pounded up beside her, but she kept up her quick pace until he reached out to grasp her arm. “Hold on. You lost me back there.”
With quiet dignity, she turned to face him. “My father is a minister. I think that about sums it up.”
His eyes turned dark with intensity. “I realize you have issues with your father, but I resent being tried and convicted by his mistakes. Don't I deserve to be judged on my own merit?”
She felt herself softening and stiffened her backbone along with her resolve. “To be honest, I can't find one fault in you, Nick. I'm the one who's flawed. I'm damaged goods. You don't need that in your life.”
“We're all flawed, Lily. In one way or another.”
She held up a hand to ward off his words. If he knew the real herâthe true state of her sinfulnessâhis opinion of her would shatter. “I'm not worthy to be involved with someone as good as you. Believe me, your congregation would never tolerate it.”
She could feel his frustration as he ran his hands through his hair, leaving it standing up in golden tufts.
“Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?” he finally asked, shoulders sagging.
She shook her head. The wind tugged at her jacket and hair as Nick's sadness tugged at her heart. “Just trying to save us both a lot of pain.” She took a shaky breath. “Now I'd like to go home, please.”
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****
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Nick sat at the kitchen table the next morning nursing his third cup of coffee, necessary due to the sleepless night he'd spent mulling over the enormity of Lily's situation. He still couldn't believe Chloe had a sister. She would be thrilled to find outâif only he could tell her without having to reveal the tragic circumstances of her family's deaths.
Without upsetting Aunt Sonia.
Nick had only been eight or nine at the time and remembered very little about Chloe coming into the family, except for his aunt's and uncle's excitement at getting a new baby. Years later, he'd overheard his mother and aunt discussing the “terrible tragedy” of Chloe's family, but the details had been vague. He took a long swig of strong coffee, vowing to find some other way to help Lily discover the truth around her family's deaths.
He scrubbed a hand over his stubbly jaw, recalling how he'd almost kissed her by the falls. Not one of his proudest moments. Comforting her was one thing. Taking advantage when she was off kilter and vulnerable was entirely another.
Lily's words haunted him. No wonder she was so leery of getting involved with a future minister. Her father had tainted her whole view of God and religion. How could he ever undo that type of damage?
The phone rang, pulling Nick out of his tortured thoughts.
“Hey, slacker. Must be nice to sleep in.”
Nick chuckled. Mike always had a way of making him laugh. The gruff man's gentle humor had helped a confused boy take one step away from breaking the law. Without Mike, who knew where he'd be today? “Try no sleep at all and a pot full of caffeine.”
“What's got your boxers in a twist?” Mike snorted. “Or should I say who?”
Nick ignored the jab. “Family stuff. Got any news for me?
“Not what you're hoping, I'm afraid.”
Now what?
“The only trace of Lily Draper I could find was that she worked at a bar called Hank's Tavern. When I tried to follow up, nobody would talk, except to say she'd recently quit.”
“No family in the area? A father maybe?” Nick wondered if Lily had moved away from the area where her father lived, given their estrangement.
“Nope. And none in the nearby towns. Did she tell you about any other family members?”
Nick shoved the cordless phone between his ear and one shoulder as he took his cup and plate to the sink. “Her mother's dead. Her father's a minister, but they don't get along. Hasn't had any contact in years.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end. “I hate to say this, buddy, but maybe
she's
the wild card here. A minister is usually a solid citizen. And the place where Miss Draper was working isn't exactly the pillar of the community, if you get my drift.”
Even though Mike's remarks made sense, Nick bristled. “You wouldn't think that if you knew her the way I do.” He ran a stream of water over the dishes and flicked off the coffeemaker. He'd had enough caffeine for the time being.
“Is there something you aren't telling me?”
For a minute, Nick considered telling Mike the whole story and asking his advice about what legal steps Lily could take to get herself declared ”undead.” But, instinctively, he knew Lily wouldn't want him to say anything, and he wasn't willing to fracture the fragile trust that existed between them. “I've found out some things about Lily on my own.”
“What kind of things?” The suspicious cop-voice had kicked in. Nick could picture his friend sitting in his office, scratching his salt-and-pepper goatee, scowling into the phone.
“I can't say. You'll have to trust my judgment on this.” He leaned back against the kitchen counter, legs crossed.
Mike growled on the other end. “Hope you know what you're doing, pal. Because my instincts are telling me there's a lot more to this woman that she's not telling you.”
“Yeah, well, thanks for the effort. I appreciate it.”
“I'll keep digging to see what else I can find.” He paused. “Now to totally change the subject. You still want me to talk at the next youth meeting?”
Nick grinned into the receiver. “Definitely. It never hurts to put the fear of God, or the fear of the law, into teenagers.”
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11
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Lily's alarm went off, dragging her out of sleep. With a groan, she hit the
OFF
button and swung her legs over the side of the bed, only to find her head swimming. The lack of sleep last night must be catching up with her.
Even a hot shower didn't help. Nausea rolled in her stomach, but she forced herself to get ready for work. She had to go in. It was her turn to open the shopâthe first time she'd been entrusted with the task. Two days ago, Peg had called her into the backroom for a chat. Filled with trepidation over some imagined transgression, Lily had nervously awaited Peg's lecture.
But instead of the expected reprimand, Peg had praised her work and rewarded her by offering her full-time hours along with a pay raise. Giddy with relief, Lily had accepted, thankful she no longer had to find a second job before next month's rent came due.
After her employer's show of good faith, Lily could not afford to be ill. She couldn'tâ
wouldn't
âlet Peg down.
She ate no breakfast, stopping only to buy a cup of herbal tea at the diner on the way. By eight thirty, Lily sat at the reception desk, head in her hands, hoping Maxi would be on time for her shift and wishing the room would stop spinning around her. If this kept up, she'd have to cancel Chloe's tutoring session that afternoon.
Lily looked at her watch and groaned. Maxi wasn't due for half an hour yet. Maybe keeping busy would help. She tried to muster the energy to make her way to the storage room in back and top up the towels and other supplies for when the shop opened. But as she stood, the room spiraled around her and a wave of nausea rose in her throat. Clutching a hand to her mouth, she raced to the bathroom, barely reaching the toilet before her stomach heaved.
When the retching stopped, she wiped her face and flushed the toilet. Her body trembled, perspiration beading on her brow. She tried to pull herself up to the sink, but her weakened limbs collapsed beneath her. Sweating and shaking, she sank to the floor and curled into a fetal position. The room became darker and darker until nothing remained except the cold tiles against her cheek.
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****
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The incessant ringing of the phone disturbed Nick in the middle of studying. He slapped his pen down onto the desk and blasted out a loud sigh at the interruption.
“This had better be important,” he grumbled.
“Nick, it's Maxi. Can you come down to Peg's right away?”
The panic in her voice had Nick's senses on instant alert. “What's wrong?”
“It's Lily. She's out cold on the floor. I don't know what to do. I can't move her.”
Nick jumped to his feet, knocking papers to the ground. “Call Doc Anderson. I'm on my way.”
The short drive over to Peg's was a blur. He burst through the front door, saw Maxi waving from the back, and sprinted over. Lily lay sprawled on the bathroom floor, a rolled towel under her head. The small area reeked of vomit.
“Has she come-around at all?”
“No, but she's breathing OK.” Maxi's huge eyes were wracked with worry. “I didn't know who to call.”
Nick checked Lily's pulse. “I'm glad you thought of me. Did you get a hold of the doc?”
“He's on his way.”
“Good. Can you get a cold cloth for her head? She's burning up.”
Maxi bounded off, returning seconds later with a wet towel, which Nick used to gently wipe Lily's pale face. An irrational fear gripped his insides and twisted hard as he administered the clothâa fear he knew stemmed from the impotence he'd felt as he cared for his mother day after day on her sickbed, unable to do anything but watch her die.