Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (19 page)

After our dinner, he took me back to my apartment. I was nervous and I didn’t know why. I was not inviting him inside. Nope. I didn’t do the fling or one night stands. It just wasn’t me. I think Josh knew how nervous I was. He took my hand in with his and rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. Call me crazy, but that light touch did help with my nerves. 

He stopped right outside my building but didn’t make a move to get out of his car. He didn’t even turn the car off. I was relieved he didn’t expect an invite up to my apartment. And I instantly felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. I wasn’t ready to be involved sexually with him, or any other man for that matter. 

“When can I see you again?” he asked. 

I moved my hand to the door handle. “I don’t know. I’ll call you.”

“Kiss me.” 

My head snapped to look at him. I didn’t know if that was a demand or a question. It seemed like he wanted it to be a demand, but at the last second changed it into a question. My tongue whipped out to lick my lips. 

“One kiss. That’s it. No funny business either.”

“I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”

Alright. I can do this. What’s one kiss? Why was he making me so fucking nervous? Whatever. I pushed down all the crazy feelings I was feeling and I leaned in for the kiss. He gave me this sly look, almost if he was proud he was getting what he wanted from me. And he was true to his word. He was a perfect gentleman. His lips barely touched mine at first. Almost if he was testing me. Maybe to see if I would stop it at that. But I would be a mad woman if I didn’t say I didn’t want more. I leaned in more and the kiss went from sweet and tender, to rough and desperate. I wasn’t sure who the desperate one was. But I knew I wanted everything from him. His kiss was like a fucking drug and I couldn’t get enough of him, of his taste, his smell, and hell even the burn from his five o’clock shadow rubbing my face was pulling me in deeper. I could’ve kissed him all night, forever, didn’t matter to me. I was lost in him. 

When he pulled away I was shocked at first. I looked at him and I saw that he wanted me. I could see it in his dark eyes and obviously with the bulge in his pants. We both were breathing hard and I had to shake my head to clear my lust filled thoughts. 

“Goodnight Josh.” I said as I quickly got out of the car. He didn’t respond back and I could feel him watching me walk inside my apartment complex. There were five things I noticed walking up the stairs to my apartment:

One being, I couldn’t stop smiling. 

Two, I couldn’t stop touching my fingers to my lips and feeling Josh’s lips on mine. 

Three, I could still taste him on my mouth. 

Four, I noticed an ache that I hadn’t felt in years or fuck, longer if that. 

And five, for the first time since Katie died, I lost control. And I didn’t know if I was okay with that. 

I hear Jason walk into the room and I am brought back into the present. I realize I am still holding on to the towel like a lifeline. I don’t know why thinking of the first night we met brings out so many feelings inside of me, but they do. And I don’t understand any of it. How I feel, why I feel this way. The one thing that is spinning in my head is, why me? I still don’t get it. I look at Jason and he has his back to me. I think he is on his phone, but I don’t care. I want answers. I want to know why he chose me. Why out of all the women in Jake’s Bar that night, why did he so happen to talk to me? 

“Why did you pick me?” I ask him and try to make my voice sound strong. I don’t feel strong at the moment. I feel … vulnerable. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks as he hangs up his phone and puts it on the table.

“The night we first met, why did you pick me? You could’ve had anyone in that bar.”

“Karen I don’t have time for this right now.”

He is not going to blow me off. I want to know. No, I need to know the reason. I don’t know why. Maybe a part of me thinks it is a part of his plan. Maybe a part of me hopes he really does want me, and sees me for who I really am. Either way, I have to know. 

“Jason.” Something in my voice must have gotten through to him. He turns to face me and I see for the first time in a long time, real emotions from him. He slowly makes his way to me and I clutch my towel closer to my body. I know it will not protect me from him. That much is clear. He is so close to me now. So close I can feel his breath on my skin. I can smell his musky manly scent and I can feel the heat coming off of him. It takes every bone, muscle, and will power not to touch him. To not bring him closer. To not wrap my arms around his neck and bring him to my lips.  I have never wanted someone like this before. He has me under his spell and he knows it. 

One of his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I can feel his erection pressing against my stomach. I can feel his heart racing against my chest. His other hand wraps around my neck, holding me still for him to do whatever he pleases with me. At this point I could care less what he wants to do to me. Hell I can die right now and know I lived a happy life. But in the back of my mind I realize that is the lust talking. I don’t know how he does this to me. Why does he make me feel like a pile of goo? Why does he make my knees weak, and why do I feel like if he doesn’t kiss or touch me soon I might explode into a million pieces?

I’m starting to pant harder waiting for him to do something. To say something, anything. I can’t take much more of this anticipation. What is he waiting for? He has me right where he wants me and he’s just staring at me. I don’t understand why he is hesitating. 

“Jason, please tell me.” I whisper to him hoping to get him to at least say something. 

He doesn’t say anything to me. Jason pushes me against the wall, trapping me. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and for the first time I realize whatever he wants to tell me, he doesn’t know if I will like what he has to say. I don’t know how I will react knowing I just acknowledged my feelings for him. But fuck me, I want to know he wants me. I want to know he feels whatever this is between us. 

Jason opens his eyes and looks right into mine. His dark brown eyes are full of … something. I’m not exactly sure what he is trying to tell me without words. 

“Karen,” he says. He sounds breathless and his voice is deep and husky. I can’t stop my body reacting to the sound of his voice. It is the sexiest sound I have ever heard. I close my eyes as he speaks and a small whimper escapes my lips. “You have no fucking idea. No fucking clue how much I want you.” He says as he takes one hand and runs up my back. “How much you make me crazy. There is no question about why I want you.” Jason continues to use his hands to touch me and I cannot get enough. I want his hands all over me. “The night I saw you walk into that bar, I had to know you. I had to taste you, feel you against me. All I want to do is worship you and pleasure you.” His words are doing something to me that I never thought possible. Just knowing how much he wants and needs me, turns me on like never before. “You have no idea Karen. The things I want to do to you,” he says as he rips the towel off my body. 

He picks me up, pushing me into the wall. I instinctively wrap my legs around him as he says, “The things I know you want me to do to you as well. Feel how fucking hard my cock is for you. Feel how you make my heart race. I fight so goddamn hard not to lose every ounce of control I have when I am around you. I want to ravage you. Make you mine, every second of the day.” He takes my arms now and lifts them above my head against the wall. He holds them there as he leans in close. I think he is about to kiss me but instead, he bites hard on my neck. 

“Oww fuck!”

“Shh. I’ll make it feel good my little vixen.”

And he does. He sucks on the tender spot he bit. He uses his tongue to lick my neck and nibbles on my ear. His free hand comes down to my face, and he grabs me a little roughly. He angles my face just the way he wants it. He comes in fast and hard. I am pinned to the wall and he is taking what he wants from me. I don’t try to fight him. I give into him. I give it all to him. I open my mouth for him and he groans in approval. 

He takes over my mouth with his. His tongue goes deep into mine, and all I can do is hold on for the ride. It’s almost as if he can’t get enough of me. As if he can’t be deep enough inside my mouth. His kiss is hard and demanding and I love every second of it. I love the feel of his soft lips on mine. I love the feel of his hot tongue intertwining with mine. And I love the taste of him. I can get drunk off his taste. Hell, I probably already am. I could care less. I am so high on lust that I couldn’t think straight even if I tried. He’s mine. And I am his. 

When he pulls away I let my head fall back to the wall. I am breathing harder and I am a little disappointed he ended the kiss as quickly as it starts. He lets go of my face and starts to move slowly down my neck. Down my shoulder. My eyes roll into the back of my head when he gets to my tender breast. He grasps my breast tightly and roughly in his hands. He leans in and starts sucking and teasing my neck again while he roughly handles my breast. I can do nothing but let him have his wicked way with me. He still has me pinned against the wall with my hands above my head. He doesn’t once lessen his hard grip on my arms or my breast. 

He slowly starts to make his way down my neck to my collar bone. He leaves a trail of bites on my skin. I will be completely marked by him when he is finished with me. I don’t mind so much. I think its his way of marking me. 

His hot mouth comes close to my nipple but he doesn’t take it in his mouth. He hovers over it making me arch to him. He smiles, knowing how much I want his mouth on me. How much I need his mouth on me. And oh God, I call out when he latches onto me and sucks hard. He bites me and pulls my nipple with his teeth. He releases my hands abruptly and while his mouth is on my breast, his other hand goes straight for the other one. I wasn’t sure where to put my hands. I just let them stay above my head knowing if he wants me to touch him, he will tell me, but he doesn’t tell me to move them. 

My chest arches into him. I want more, so much more from him. It doesn’t seem right for me to want him again so soon, but I can’t help but want him again. I want his hard cock inside of me. So deep I won’t be able to move without knowing he was there.  

He moves his mouth to my other breast, making sure to give it just as much as attention as he did the other. I try to look down at him to watch him as he suckles my breast. We lock eyes and he grabs my neck, making me look away from him. It is way more intense, to know what he is doing but not being able to see what is coming next. 

I feel his fingers come dangerously close to my aching and needy pussy. I am so wet for him. All this foreplay is killing me. I need him to hurry up and put his fingers or dick inside of me. He touches the outside of my lips teasing me. I try to rock my hips towards him. I need him inside of me, but the hand around my neck makes me still. His mouth starts to move back up to my collar bone and neck. He lets go of my neck as the same time as his other hand leaves my pussy. God! I need him there. Why did he move? 

I am panting so hard and I know he can see how much I want him. I need him to do something.

“Put your arms around me.” 

His command shocks me, but I instantly do as he says. I don’t know why he doesn’t really like for me to touch him. Probably because he has to have all the control. That’s one thing I understand. 

He puts both hands on my ass, and he takes me away from the wall. I feel very open and exposed the way he has me spread open with his hands. I know he can’t see anything, but the way it feels .... it’s all new to me. 

He lays me down on the bed. The way he cradles my head and slowly lowers me, makes me feel special to him. Almost if I am precious. He’s careful not to put all his weight on me and it amazes me how perfect we fit together. Like we are meant to be this way. He still has all his clothes on. I want him naked. I want to feel the heat off his hot body all over mine. I want him to be as close to me as he possibly can. But he doesn’t make a move to take any of his clothes off. Somehow, he is still in control. He is showing me this is all about me. All about showing me how much he wants and needs me. The feeling takes my breath away. 

His hand slides up my leg all the way up to my thighs. His light touch sends chills all over my body and I love the feel of it. I revel in his gentleness. Jason’s hands envelope mine as he pulls my hands away from his neck. He places them above my head and I am transfixed into his eyes. He gazes back at me, both of us lost into each other.  

“Don’t move your hands.” 

I nod at his demand and close my eyes. I have no idea what he will do. I know I want him more than I ever have before. He takes his time moving his hands from mine. He runs them down my arms, down my face, my neck, and to my breasts again. He doesn’t stay there long and he moves slowly, painfully slow, to my stomach. His mouth is right behind his hands leaving wet kisses behind. He starts to move lower and lower, right where I want him to go. I move my hips, trying to urge him to go faster. But of course, he moves even slower than before. All I can do is feel this moment. And all the sensations he is making me feel is unbelievable. 

He pushes my legs wider to accommodate him as he kisses me on my stomach. He nips and licks away the sting every time. I try not to move my hands. I want to touch him as well, but dammit, I want to please him. I want to show him I can listen to him. So I fight the urge to move. I fight this unrelenting urge to touch him and please him with my hands.