Bette Midler (37 page)

“I’ve decided to be as realistic about what I do as I possibly can be. And what I can be is very, very funny, which not a lot of ladies are doing. And very few of them sing and are funny in the same picture. So I’ve been inching my way toward that. I’d like to have a niche, a little piece of the pie, where I can do what it is that I do and I don’t step on anyone’s toes and I’m not disappointed if I don’t get their part” (
18
).

The people who have worked with Bette on
Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Ruthless People
, and
Outrageous Fortune
had nothing but great things to say about her. Jeffrey Katzenberg, who was the head of Disney’s TV and movie division, claimed, “This lady is as smart and nailed down as anyone I deal with” (
111
). Actor John Schuck claimed, “She creates such extraordinary characters. She has the same type of scathing good humor” (
118
). According to Paul Mazursky, “If Bette could tap everything she has as an actress, she could play Lady Macbeth!” (
100
).

Said Bette at the time of her newfound screen success, “You know, these kind of comedies, I’m happy that people like them and I’m happy
that they make them. But you always want to do something more, something better. I guess I feel like I have to pay some dues and then I’ll be okay. I can do my Lady Macbeth. Actually, what we’re going to do is call her ‘Lady Macbecky!’ ” (
110
).

Throughout 1986, several different projects were discussed as films for Bette. For a while it looked like a Mae West biography might be her next role, but this didn’t pan out. A comedy called
Stand Up Detective
was under consideration. All Girls Productions was developing a musical comedy about 1940s female big-band leader Ina Ray Hutton. “Of course, there’ll be a romance with a saxophone player,” promised Bette (
8
).

In addition to her Disney films, NBC-TV optioned a book for Bette called
Winnie: My Life in the Institution
, a dramatization of the life of a girl who enters a mental institution and grows up trying to prove that she is capable of living in the outside world. Six months after being released from the institution, however, the woman opts to move back into it. The character was based on the life of Gwina (Winnie) Sprockett, who died at the age of forty-four after writing her life story.

Said Bette at the time, “NBC has optioned the book for me. I’ve never done a piece for television before. I thought it would be interesting. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I have to play the part. I might like to direct. I’ve never directed before” (
18
).

In August 1986, Touchstone/Disney announced that Bette’s next movie would be called
Palm Beached
. Midler was to have portrayed Mollie Wilmot, the Palm Beach, Florida, socialite who awakened one day in 1984 to find that a severe storm had beached a Venezuelan freighter, the 190-foot
Mercedes I
, in her backyard. Ironically, that very day was the date that Wilmot’s backyard and pool were to be photographed by
Town & Country
magazine. Said Wilmot of the announcement that Midler was to portray her, “She’s a wonderful actress, but she’s terrible for the part” (
119
). The script that was written would have had Bette as the startled Mollie, serving the Venezuelan crew caviar and paté off her best china in the backyard.

As fate would have it, Bette was never to appear in any of these proposed projects that were being bantered around. Instead, she was about to portray a brand new character in her life—the suddenly maternal Miss M was about to become a divine mom.

Bette acknowledged that she had undergone amniocentesis during her pregnancy, but she didn’t want to know in advance whether her baby was going to be a boy or a girl. “I want a surprise. And that’s what I’m going to get. I’m sure my baby will be divine. If it’s a boy, I hope they don’t saddle him with ‘Baby Divine.’ Oh my, I’d have to send him away!” (
8
).

Bette was never alarmed by the audible ticking of her biological clock—she was too busy with her career and her life. “I was caught up in my superwoman thing. Now it’s sort of like waking up from a dream and seeing that everyone wishes to be in our shoes. It’s so surprising because I never had that hankering to marry and have children. Well, I got married at thirty-nine. I’m having my first baby. And anybody can do it. It’s true!” (
110
).

After all the horror stories that Bette had heard about first pregnancies after the age of forty, she was pleasantly surprised by how uncomplicated it was for her. “Talk about being struck by lightning—I haven’t had any morning sickness or any of the stuff they keep talking about. I have shortness of breath and I tend to waddle and I can’t sleep on my stomach anymore, but that’s it” (
110
). She did suddenly develop cravings for certain things to eat, though. “I hardly ever eat sweets,” she explained in her fifth month. “But since I’ve been pregnant, I crave them. I thought it was a joke, but I really crave ice cream—vanilla. I’m very plain” (
18
).

Although it was originally predicted that she would give birth on October 27, it wasn’t until Friday night, November 14, 1986, that the divine moment occurred. She had an eight-pound, eleven-ounce baby girl. It was several days before Bette and Harry settled on a name.

While she was contemplating baby names, she had commented, “I like Bob Geldof’s baby’s name: Fifi Trixibelle. But my husband says when she’s forty and she’s a librarian and a spinster, she’s not going to be so happy with Fifi Trixibelle!” (
18
).

Seemingly, just as Bette’s mother had named her for her favorite movie star—Bette Davis—she named her daughter Sophie the name of one of her favorite stars: Sophie Tucker. However, Bette begs to differ.

“Her name is Sophie, and there’s a reason.
Sophie
means wisdom” (
120
). Her daughter’s full name is Sophie Frederica Alohilani von Haselberg. How is that for a mouthful? With regard to how she chose the name, Bette says, Sophie (“not for Sophie Tucker”) Frederica (“for my father, Fred”) Alohilani (“Hawaiian for ‘bright sky,’ which is what I always wish for her”) von Haselberg. After Sophie’s birth, Bette gushed to the press, “I adore her. Her face swims before me when she’s not there, and I think about her before I go to sleep at night and I dream about her, and I wake up and I can’t wait to see her” (
20
).

Prior to her pregnancy, Bette had been talking seriously about raising a family. She had thought about how she wanted to raise her children. “I think I would raise them in a very Victorian way,” she admitted, months prior to her pregnancy. “I sort of like the idea that I’m very tough and very hard-nosed. But I guess underneath it all I’m quite sentimental. I would give them an ‘everyone-around-the-piano’ kind of life. I wouldn’t let my kids watch television eight hours a day, and I would be careful about what they watched. I’d teach them to paint and be creative. You can be lonely, you can be all on your own, but if you can make something out of nothing, you can be happy. I’ve learned that” (
8
).

Circa 1987, Bette Midler was at a new plateau, both in her career and in her personal life. From that vantage point, she looked around and surveyed the situation. She had been a huge singing star in the early 1970s. She had been an Academy Award-nominated actress in 1980, when everything was coming up roses for her. She had fallen flat on her face in the early 1980s, when the films
Jinxed
and
Divine Madness
nearly derailed her film career. She felt like a wounded bird when both
No Frills
and
Mud Will Be Flung Tonight
both came up with disappointing
sales on the record charts. However, thanks to her marriage and the films
Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Ruthless People
, and
Outrageous Fortune
; her motion picture career was back on track, while her marriage and the arrival of baby Sophie grounded her. Childbirth, and the temporary break that she took from working, proved the perfect time for Miss M to reflect on the past, appreciate the present, and plan the future.

Her natural instincts made her think about her own childhood. She said at the time, “I had a fairly dull upbringing; I spent a lot of time in the library. We didn’t get a TV until I was twelve or thirteen, and I think that was better for me. I read a lot of fairy tales—I overdosed on them. Eventually, I started reading grown-up books—the Frank O’Haras and the Henry Millers—but I’m glad I had that basis in happily ever-after, because that’s what gives you hope,” she said, with the optimism that has enabled her to create all of the things that have become the milestones of her career (8.) She chose to raise her daughter in much the same way.

Marriage and motherhood were always two subjects that Bette Midler had thought were not in the cards for her. Did these two new modes in her once unpredictably outrageous life tame her? She didn’t think so. “I’m still a wild and crazy gal,” she proclaimed at the time, “even if I pretend I’m completely domestic. I have my periods where I’m nuts. This doesn’t happen to be one of them. The baby will be a big, big change. I don’t know what that means in terms of how much work I can do, whether I can bring the baby around with me. I’d like to have someone to help out, but I don’t want to leave my baby in the hands of someone other than myself or Harry” (
18
).

According to Bette, marriage to Harry didn’t curtail her zaniness. Actually, it allowed her to be more confident about being herself. “We laugh a good deal,” she explained (
110
). “He backs me up and feeds me back a sense of my own identity, and I try to do the same for him. I feel a responsibility to give back as much as I’m given, and that’s the best part. Who knew?” (
24
).

“Harry is quite charming and just what I was looking for. And he’s incredibly interested in domesticity; he loves having a home, he loves to cook, and he’s nuts about me, which is so shocking. You think, well, I’m a good gal, I’m okay. But when somebody likes you this much, you think, ‘Gee, maybe I’m better than I think I am.’ And that’s terrific!” (
24
).

“Harry says that I make him younger, and you know, it’s really true. In public he presents a very stern image, and yet when he’s with me we rough-house a lot; he’s like a kid.” Bette claimed that she never wants to grow up. In fact, she views herself as a perpetual teenager. “I think that everyone feels thirteen; everyone is surprised when the skin starts to get weird and the hair starts to fall out. I never feel like a grown-up. When I met my husband, I thought he was a grown-up; that was one of the things that attracted me to him. And then I discovered that we’re both pretty much the same. I think most human beings are. The outside is grown up, but the inside is still looking for Mom. It’s nothing to be ashamed of; it’s just the human condition. I used to think you were grown up when you had a rug in the bathroom!” (
24
).

Two of the things that Bette has always appreciated the most in life have been food and creativity. “I love food!” Bette explained during this era. “I eat my own cooking, I eat my husband’s cooking; what I really like to make—and this shows my peasant roots—are big pots you cook twenty-four hours: casseroles, stews, red beans and rice, which we eat for a week, and we’re always happy at first and then we’re really sorry” (
24
).

The song “Friends” had been a trademark of Bette’s since she first sang it at the Continental Baths in the early seventies. By the late 1980s, who were Bette Midler’s friends? At that point, there were several disgruntled people who claimed that they were dumped by the wayside as she made her way to the top. Aaron Russo would certainly fall in this category. She—however—disputed that: “My closest friends ARE people I’ve worked with for years,” she says. “They’ve seen me at my best and at my worst. Toni Basil is one of my dearest friends. She’s choreographed my shows since 1976. Jerry Blatt has been with me for over twelve years. Bob DeMora, who makes clothes for me, has been with me since about 1971. Frannie Vanzella has been a good friend since she was wardrobe lady when I was in
Fiddler on the Roof
almost twenty years ago. My Harlettes—Linda Hart is a good friend of mine—all my girls I still consider good friends” (
18
).

Still an ever-present friend, too, was Bette’s brash and trashy alter ego, the Divine Miss M. “She chats in my head, you know,” Bette proclaimed. “She’s like a little demon. She has a very loud voice and she panics me sometimes, because she’s the one who keeps saying, ‘We’re going to do this, we’re going to do that.’ And the other voice is saying, ‘Aw, shut up, let’s just sit. We’ll read a book, we’ll have a bite to eat.’
But she says, ‘No, no, we have to go out, we have to be seen!’ ” (
24
). And so the saga of the Divine Miss M was destined to continue to grow—in new recordings and in new stage shows.

Ensconced in her glamorous Hollywood area Coldwater Canyon home, she began to plot new directions that she wanted to take her film career. “I’ve always been grateful for my drive,” she proclaimed. “I want to work with Dustin [Hoffman] and Warren [Beatty] and Meryl [Streep] and Sylvester [Stallone]—everyone. You know in the old days you used to go from picture to picture and make eighty of them over a lifetime. Now it’s like twelve” (
101
).