Better Than Before (RightMatch.com Trilogy) (17 page)

“No, I will.” Julia stood. “Finish your meal. And please, Annie, think about how you’re going to get that man out of your head.”

Annie forced herself to eat and thought about Julia’s life. She was never lonely because she had a stable marriage and her boys were great kids. She also had this successful business. Once again, Annie said a little prayer that she’d get a teaching job. Maybe then she’d be more secure and centered like her friend.

At last, the shift ended. Annie’s feet hurt in the heels she had to wear, her head was aching from fatigue and she felt incredibly sad. She tried to say a quick good-bye to Julia, but her friend stuffed papers into Annie’s hands and told her to read them. Annie realized they were the results of the internet research Julia had done on Spence. With a heavy heart, Annie headed to the side exit, which was through the bar.

And stopped dead in her tracks.

Because there was Spence, seated on a stool, sipping a cup of coffee. Annie’s pulse rate tripled and her heart began to pound. She wanted to cry. She told herself to leave before he noticed her, to escape contact with this man. But she couldn’t.

Then he pivoted on the stool and saw her. His face somber, he stood and slowly walked over.

“Are you waiting for me?” she asked hoarsely.

“Of course I am. I want to talk to you.”

“Do I get a say in this?”

“Yes. Which is why I didn’t come to your house. Or wait outside. That, and I didn’t want to scare you.”

Oh, he scared her all right.

“But please, Annie, talk to me. We can do it here. The bar’s open till twelve. I checked.”

“I don’t know, Spence.”

“Please.”

His hoarsely uttered plea and the weariness in his tone swayed her. “I guess talking wouldn’t hurt.” She glanced around the bar. “But not in the restaurant. Let’s go out to my car. I want your promise, though, that you won’t touch me and when I ask you to leave, you will.”

“I promise. And I can be trusted to keep it, Annie. I’ll prove that to you if you let me.”

“I’ll talk with you tonight. That’s all I’m agreeing to.”

“I’ll settle for the talk.”

o0o

Spence was shocked by the force of his emotions at seeing Annie again, at sitting across from her in the car. The weeks they’d been apart seemed like years, and now that he was with her, he was even more certain he wanted her in his life.

She watched him for a moment. “Go ahead and say your piece.”

“It’s simple, really. I’m sorry I hurt you with my lies. I want to see if we can have a relationship on a new level.”

“Why haven’t you called or emailed, then?”

His brows arched. “I did at first. You didn’t respond. I was trying to respect your wishes and I didn’t want to stalk you.” How to bare his soul? How to grovel? In the end, despite how scary it was, he went with his heart. “Have you missed me at all, Annie?”

“I’m not going to answer that now.”

“What I did was dreadful. I never should have made the bet, never should have met you without telling you the truth.”

“We agree on that.” She stared at him with those big, hazel eyes, liquid in the lights from the parking lot. “What made you come here tonight if you were respecting my wishes?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. And I’ve learned from what happened.”

“Learned what?”

“To be more honest with my feelings, for one.” She would have no idea how hard that was for him. “I’ve spent my whole life closed off, and with you, I really opened up. I liked that part of me.”

“Was it real, what you said when you supposedly opened up?”

“Yes.”

She waited a beat, then asked, “Why are you so closed off, Spence?”

“My father had no respect for men who showed emotion. He was a hard man. If I fell and skinned a knee, he’d chide me about crying. When I was older, and kids at school were mean to me, he told me to buck up. Then when I was about Alex’s age, he started with life lessons. Don’t trust anyone. Take care of yourself because nobody else will. And always be in control.”

“You’re a bit old to be blaming a parent for how you turned out.”

“I’m not blaming him. You asked why I’ve lived my life this way. It’s what I was taught.”

She cocked her head. “But you said your mother was there for you, then Joe’s dad and Cole’s. Weren’t they a positive influence on you?” She put a hand to her mouth. “Or isn’t any of that true, either?”

“That was all true. Joe Moretti and Rick Matheson treated me like a son. But I’m not sure a boy ever gets over the need to please his father. Especially one that left him.”

“Maybe you’re right. That’s how Alex feels.”

“My mother and I had a discussion about all this when I first started seeing you.”

“You said she wasn’t in on any of the lying.”

“She wasn’t. I told her the truth right before I told you, I think because I knew then I’d have to be honest with you if I confessed to her. She didn’t like what I’d done, at all. She insisted I come clean with you. Say what was in my heart. And to answer your question, who knows why we become what we are? Despite all the wonderful people I’ve had in my life, I’m more like my father.”

“I’m sorry you grew up that way. Maybe having no father at all was better for me. At least he didn’t have a negative influence on me.”

Silence in the car.

“Is that all you wanted to say?”

“No, I’d like to explain about my marriages, too. Which I’ve finally admitted
were
the basis for making the bet.”

Annie stared out the front windshield at the almost-deserted parking lot. “There was no dead wife. I still can’t believe it.”

“It was a horrid lie.” He waited and when she said no more, he went on. “The women I married weren’t at all like you. I thought they wanted what I did. When the relationships ended, I felt cheated. Louisa said she wanted my lifestyle, then when I wasn’t home enough or couldn’t escort her to whatever European country caught her fancy, she found someone who could. Jocelyn was the opposite. I told her I didn’t want children. She divorced me when she decided she did.”

“And you had no part in the failure?” Annie’s tone was accusatory.

“Yes, I did, though I didn’t admit that until I met and spent time with you.” He shook his head at his egotism. “How ironic, I proved exactly the opposite of what I wanted to with the bet.” And right up until this very moment, when he verbalized it to Annie, he hadn’t realized that fact.

“I don’t understand.”

“You made me believe relationships
can
endure and I’d screwed all of them up on my own.”

“Oh, Spence. Why should this make any difference to us? It’s dangerous going into a relationship wanting someone else to change. That’s what I did with Keith—tried to be what he wanted and it didn’t work. Then I wanted
him
to change, and he couldn’t. People shouldn’t get involved and expect others to be different from who they are.”

He had to be honest here, and it was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, because he knew he could lose her over his next words. “Annie, I want forgiveness for a lie I told. For hurting you so badly. But not for who I am or the life I live.”

Annie cocked her head. “Then why would this ever work out with us?”

“I think you brought out another side to me, influenced how I interact with others, what I want for the future. I’m open to merging my life with yours.”

“It sounds like you want a business deal.”

“No, not that. Though you are affecting a business deal in some ways. Remember when you said you thought I liked building things?”

“That was the other Spence, the one you lied about.”

“Maybe not.” He told her about AllGreen and the strong possibility of rebuilding that company.

For the first time that night, Annie seemed pleased that he’d come to see her. “I love hearing that. Businesses need to be more attuned to the environment.”

“I wouldn’t have given them a second chance before I met you, Annie, and it scares the hell out of me. I’m not even sure it’s going to work. But I’m open to seeing if Henderson can make a go of it. I like him.”

“That’s progress, Spence.”

“Is it enough? For another chance?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will you at least answer my question now? Did you miss me at all?”

Her face softened. “Yes, I did. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I think about you all the time, too, and I’ve been absolutely miserable.”

“Because I lied to you?”

“Mostly I worked myself around to being mad at you for that. I miss having you in my life.”

“Enough for one date?”

Now the silence stretched out. He wanted to pray she’d understand and forgive him, but he didn’t know how, didn’t feel worthy.

Finally, she said, “All right. I’ll agree to one date with you. We’ll see how it goes from there.”

Thank God. “When?”

Chapter 9

Annie closed the door on the kids after they scampered out to Keith’s car and climbed the stairs to her room to get ready for her first date with Spence. She was nervous and tried on three different outfits before she finally decided on one. They were attending an outdoor concert on the lake. She looked forward to being with him and was anxious to find out what it would be like between them with everything out in open. Though she was plagued by the nagging doubt as to whether she and
this
Spence would click, there was no denying she longed to be with him. That was the inescapable truth and what brought her to the decision to give him another chance. When the bell rang, she grabbed her purse and hurried down to the foyer.

He wore pressed gray pants and matching T-shirt and sports coat. They were expensive clothes, his
own
clothes. With a smile that seemed a bit forced, he said, “Hi, there.”

“Hi, Spence. I’m ready to go, so no need to come inside.”

Nodding, he stepped back and waited for her to exit. The early evening air cloaked them as they walked to his car. “Oh!” She stopped abruptly at the sight of the sleek black Mercedes in her driveway. “Oh. Wow. This is yours, right?”

“Yes, I rented the other one.”

“I figured that out.” The night she’d gone to her mother’s house, Annie had catalogued the details of his deception, but facing them directly hit her hard. The car, his clothes… What else was she in for? Though all that hurt, renewed anger surfaced, too. “You went to such lengths to trick me.”

“I don’t know what to say, Annie, except I’m truly sorry.”

“I believe you.” She motioned to the car. “Let’s get going.”

He opened the passenger door for her and she slid inside. When Spence got in, she ran her hand over the expensive gray leather. “Keith would love this.”

“I suppose he would.” Instead of starting the engine, he turned toward her. “I do, too, Annie. I said I’d had some shifts in my attitude because of you but not totally. I like this car and have no intention of giving things like this up to be with you. But I want to reiterate what I told you in the parking lot of the café—none of it means as much to me since I met you.”

His words softened the blow of his deception. “That’s sweet.”

When they got on the road, he asked, “Are you done with your classes?” He must be searching for a neutral topic and she seized on it.

“Yes. Graduation’s the end of next week.

“Will you be going to the ceremony?”

“My mother, Lauren and Julia insist I do; otherwise I’d skip it.”

He waited. For what? An invitation to attend? No way was she going to extend it. First off, she wanted to take their relationship slow. Second, it would be a long time before the kids would meet him.

“What did your girlfriends say about us dating again?” he asked after a silence.

“Lauren’s fine with it. Julia thinks you should be hanged, drawn and quartered.”

He swallowed hard, and in the half-light, he looked sad.

Annie wondered if she should be less honest. She was nervous now and wasn’t censoring her words, but she didn’t want to hurt him.

“Because her husband had a bad experience with a venture capitalist she lumps us all together?”

“No, not solely, anyway. She did an internet search of you and that confirmed her opinion.”

“Did you read her findings?”

“No.”

“Then let me explain something to you. I try to act honorably in my business dealings. But I don’t have any qualms about cutting our losses. That’s how business is done in my field.”

“I have no idea what acting honorably
is
in the kind of work you do. In fact, I don’t know enough about how you operate to make that decision.”

“Global Industries is a facilitator. We bring together the necessary capital, business experience and direction to succeed, sometimes for startup companies and sometimes for established ones.”

“You get money for people when they need it.”

“Basically, yes. Though the planning and input we have into running their companies are as important.”

“Do you use your own finances?”

“Not our personal finances. Mostly, we use the standard lenders—pension funds, university endowments, things like that. But Global Industries often buys shares in the companies we invest in. When we do that, banks are more willing to lend more capital.”

“You’re investors?”

“Not always. Sometimes we offer to buy companies out. But if they don’t want to sell to us, that’s their choice. Saying no to financing them isn’t unethical. It’s sound business practice. We don’t force anybody to work with us.”

“That seems reasonable. So you
never
force a company to do what they don’t want to?”

“Well, we often get controlling shares in a company we invest in to protect ourselves. To be perfectly honest with you, Annie, if the business flounders, we do on occasion close them down against their wishes.”

“Is that honorable?”

His blue eyes flared. Now she’d angered him. She’d pushed him too hard and should back off. So she just listened to his explanation. “I like to think of our group as enabling others to meet their dreams. But if they can’t, we don’t encourage false hope or pour more money into failing companies. They’re cognizant of the terms, so yes, it’s honorable.”