Between Friends (14 page)

Then to make matters worse, I think of
an event that unfolded two months ago between Ben and our newest
realtor to join the company, Peggy Wilson. On her first day, she
clicked into the office with her pointy high heels and overly tight
black pantsuit. She shook out her poker straight blonde hair right
in front of me and Ben, as his drool pooled onto my desk. She
turned around, introduced herself and stupidly asked if we were
brother and sister. We both shared a laugh at her expense and said
no we weren’t, we were just really good friends. But that was all
Peggy Wilson needed to know before she seduced him a few days later
in the parking garage and had sex with him in the back seat of her
car. My face is burning hot, and this time it isn’t from the sun. I
can’t believe I am jealous. It is an emotion I would rather live
without.

I try to fall asleep to escape my
thoughts, but it starts to feel next to impossible. I flip my head
from side to side, turn from my back to my stomach, and then to my
back again. The warmth from the sun is so soothing, I should have
no problems slipping into a slumber, but my mind won’t stop racing.
When I feel the sun disappear, I open my eyes to see Steven
towering over me with his tall and lean muscular body, wearing a
pair of stripped swim shorts that hang on his hips. I sit up,
startled by his presence. He sits down at the edge of my lounger,
and I pull my knees up to my chin.

“
How’s it going?” Steven
asks.

I feel so horrible staring into his
big blue eyes. He has no idea what’s been going on with Ben. I hate
how Steven is so handsome and nice. I really don’t deserve him. I
don’t know what to say or do right now. Besides, it is not like I
don’t want to be swept away into his arms of steel. It is
just…well…Ben.

“
I’m good.” I say in my
smallest voice.

The girls sit up on either side of me
to greet Steven. Jessica tells him he is so sweet by coming to find
me. She even lies and says we were just talking about him. I give
her a dirty look and clear my throat to let her know I am not
impressed at all by her little interference.

Steven blushes, “I came to see if you
wanted to go jet skiing.”

I politely smile, “Aww, thanks Steven.
That is so nice of you, but we are having a girls day. “

“
She would love to go with
you.” Jessica interrupts, “Megan, don’t be silly. We will be fine
without you for a couple hours. Just promise us you will bring her
back in one piece.”

I grit my teeth and force a smile at
Jessica.

“
Well, only if Megan wants
to.” Steven gracefully adds.

“
Of course she does.”
Jessica says and slaps my back.

“
Of course I do.” I
nervously laugh and watch Steven’s face light up with a grin. He
pulls me up from my lounger, and I say goodbye to the girls with a
guilty conscious.

Chapter 11

I stand staring at the waves as they
wash tiny seashells onto the shore. Steven brushes up against my
side with a dark haired middle-aged man who must be our tour guide.
Sure enough, the man whistles at us to follow him over to two jet
skis parked a few feet away on the beach. He preps us with safety
tips, tight fitting life jackets and points out all the functions
and controls. Steven politely ensures him he knows what to do and
revs up the engine like an old pro.

We launch into the waves and I start
to have a minor panic attack. I’d like to think my anxiety is from
being trapped on a jet ski in the middle of the Pacific, but I know
deep down it has everything to do with my guilt over Ben. I press
up against Steven’s body, and wrap my arms around his waist. I grip
onto his life jacket feeling the waters rumble beneath us before we
take off with gusto. I want to scream every time we hit a wave and
my butt goes airborne, but I remain calm and only let out a few
yelps of fear.

Cruising around the coastline, I feel
myself ease up a bit when Steven gives me an easy grin. We zip up
to the Catalina Islands and see turtles swimming in the clear
shallow waters, and dolphins jumping out of the ocean. Then our
tour guide brings us over to a rockier area full of coral reef. We
park the jet skis on the sandy beach surrounding the island and
take a break to snorkel amongst millions of brightly colored
schools of fish.

After two hours under the blazing sun,
Steven suggests we pull onto a private beach and take a break. With
much hesitation, I insist we go back to the resort. I am worried if
we were to wander away from our tour guide, I would be subject to a
much more intimate setting with Steven. His face drops at my subtle
rejection, but he obliges with my request and we have the tour
guide lead the way to the resort.

The whole ride back, I feel a pang of
sadness over not being honest with him. I don’t like having to be
this way, especially because I think he is a really great guy. It
isn’t fair to him that I have no idea what was going on with Ben,
and it especially isn’t fair to me. I find myself becoming angry
with Ben. I want answers. I definitely don’t want to miss out on a
great guy like Steven because of some
going-nowhere-anytime-fast-sex with Ben.

We pull up to the beach, and Steven
helps me off the jet ski. He unbuckles my life jacket and says, “By
the way, you did great.”

I flash a bashful smile, “Thanks. I
hope I didn’t scream too much.”

“
Not at all” he laughs,
“But I could tell you were nervous every time you dug your nails
into my skin.”

I blush, “Sorry.”

Steven smiles and tucks a loose strand
of hair behind my ear, “Don’t be.” He pauses then adds, “I like how
you always get embarrassed. It’s cute.”

I must be crimson, because my face is
on fire. He gently cups my chin and tips it up to meet his gaze,
“Your eyes are beautiful, and so blue.”

“
Thanks” I mutter and curl
my toes deep into the sand.

“
You know, Jessica was
right about you. You are very humble.” He says.

“
Humble?” I laugh, “Oh,
please.”

“
You really don’t know how
beautiful you are, inside and out.” Steven says and slips his hand
in mine. My heart is pounding out of my chest. That’s the nicest
thing anyone has ever said to me. I look up at Steven glistening in
the sunlight and catch him leaning in for a kiss. I feel my
temperature rise and it makes me almost limp. I want to kiss him,
but for some reason I just can’t do it! Then, like a drop of fate,
there is shouting in the distance that distracts us. I crank my
head to side just in time, to stop a potential moment of disaster
from happening.

A boat is docking a few feet off the
shore. Michael is shouting to us, flailing his arms and calling our
names. I feel my heart sink into my stomach when I see Ben hop over
the side of the boat. How long have they been there? What did he
see? The thought makes my insides turn.

I pick up speed and trudge through the
damp sand in the direction of the boat. Matthew and Eric slide off
the backside and Michael follows as they all make their way up to
the beach. I feel Steven behind me, waving to Michael and asking
them where they are coming back from.

“
We went on a fishing tour,
and I caught four tuna.” Michael proudly shouts.

“
It was beginner’s luck.”
Matthew mutters, hauling a cooler full of beer behind
him.

“
I was able to out fish all
these fools.” Eric declares glancing around at the guys, “I caught
two rooster which are a way harder to catch, and three
tuna.”

“
What did you catch?” I say
to Ben, but he completely ignores me. He tosses his t-shirt over
his bare chest and looks down at me with his cold dark eyes then
turns away. His silence tells me everything.

“
How far did you go?”
Steven asks as a lump forms in my throat.

“
About fifteen miles off
shore” Eric yawns, “Where were you guys?”

“
We went jet skiing” Steven
says. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me against his bare
chest.

I feel completely mortified and
worrisome, so I casually pull away and feel obligated to announce,
“Yeah, Steven just approached me while I was sun tanning with the
girls and insisted I join him.”

“
Well that’s nice.” Michael
says, “It’s seems like you two had a great time.”

“
We sure did.” Steven says
and flashes me a great big smile.

Ben huffs, twists his baseball cap
backwards and starts to walk away.

“
Are you guys going to walk
back with us?” Eric innocently asks.

Steven jumps at the chance and says
we’d love too. He walks alongside Michael, joyfully chatting about
the dolphins we saw and the snorkeling we did. He won’t shut up
about how much fun it was. Ben is already a few feet ahead, but he
can definitely hear everything Steven is saying. I feel heavy and
weighted with grief, and it doesn’t help matters when we walk past
the same spot where Ben and I had passionate sex last night on the
beach.

I say my goodbyes, and walk to my
villa alone for a well-needed nap. I am not functioning well on
such minimal hours of sleep. I tell myself once I wake up, I will
deal with Ben. I will also deal with Steven, and I will confront my
real feelings. Whatever they may be.

****

Four hours later, I wake up groggy and
moody, which I blame on my conflict over Ben. But I pull myself out
of bed and notice the dark evening sky through the windows. There
is a note in Stephanie’s handwriting slapped on the
nightstand:

Tried to wake you up, but
you were dead to the world. Jessica is out with her family tonight
so it’s just the three of us girls. We will be at the Sports bar
drinking and waiting for our dinner reservation at 8:00 p.m. in the
Japanese restaurant. Meet us if you are hungry.

Steph & Michelle
xoxo

Hmmm, maybe that’s exactly what I
need, some time with the girls. I think I need to keep my distance
from all men for a while. I fumble my way to the bathroom and hop
in the shower. I hate how the showerhead is one of those oversized
rainforest nozzles that never lets out enough pressure. The water
is warm, and I take deep breaths. I try not focus on anything but
having a good time tonight, and enjoying the nightlife on the
resort. But that’s the thing about trying not to think about
something, it makes it a million times worse. So when yet another
image of Ben ignoring me on the beach this afternoon, pops into my
mind, I want to scream.

I scrub myself down with some of
Stephanie’s expensive body exfoliating scrub. I hum the tune of
“Bombastic” by Shaggy, because it’s the only song that pops into my
head. When I am done, I hop out of the shower and throw on a fluffy
white housecoat hanging behind the bathroom door. I brush my teeth,
and rub some vanilla smelling cream of Michelle’s all over my body,
then smear a solid line of deodorant under my armpits. I jump out
of my skin when there is a light rapping on the door, breaking me
away from the mirror.

I cautiously creep towards the doorway
and ask who it is, but no one responds. I start to feel a little
frightened when the rapping happens again, this time a bit louder.
I slowly bend down, and peak through the curtain to see if I can
catch a glimpse of this predator lingering on the patio. It is too
dark to make a clear visual, and my heart is pounding out of my
chest. I debate on grabbing something sharp to protect myself,
because here I am, alone in a foreign country about to be viciously
raped and beaten by some Costa Rican who escaped from the local
jail. I take a deep breath and calmly ask once again who’s there,
when I get my answer.

I yank open the door, and see Ben
leaning against the doorway. He looks ridiculously hot. Like, Oh.
My. God. His hair is ruffled and he has the slightest amount of
stubble that makes his five o’clock shadow breathtaking. His baby
blue button up shirt clings to his muscles and makes me weak at the
knees just thinking about all the ripples that are underneath it,
“Can I come in?”

I nod, letting him push past me and
into the interior of the villa. I am nervous and tense, and I can
tell he is too. He clears his throat and leans on the glass paned
door leaving less than a few feet between us. He crosses his arms
in front of his chest and let’s his eyes travel from my feet to all
the way up to my eyes. I pull my bathrobe tightly around my waist,
clench it in my fingers and ask, “What would you like?”

His smug grin makes me immediately
decide to retract my guilt over what happened today and throw it
back at him. We never defined what we were, and no definite answer
equals un-definite status. I should be able to do whatever I want
whenever I want. He is not my boyfriend.

When he doesn’t answer me, I become
annoyed by his intimidating stance and point my hairbrush at his
face, “I don’t have to answer to you.”

“
Do you like him?” Ben asks
raising his eyebrows slightly.

“
He’s a nice guy.” I shout,
“And he actually wants to have a committed
relationship.”

“
And I don’t?” Ben says
with deadpan eyes.

“
You never have.” I laugh
and lean against the desk waiting for his response.