By the time three-thirty rolls around,
I am the only one patiently waiting in the lobby before Ben pops
out of nowhere from a hidden hallway.
“
Where were you?” I tease,
“It’s three thirty five.”
“
Getting these,” Ben says
and dangles a set of keys in front of my face, “We’re taking a
little drive.”
“
Off the resort? Without a
tour guide?” I ask as fear rises in my voice.
“
Oh relax.” Ben laughs,
“Don’t you trust me?”
I cross my arms in front of my chest
and pop my hips to the side, “I want to know where you think you’re
taking me?”
“
It’s a surprise” Ben says
and starts to walk away. “Are you coming or what?”
I roll my eyes and chase after him as
a valet service pulls up with our car.
An hour or so later Ben
pulls into
Marino Baulas National Park. He
gets a giddy child-like aura about him, and turns off the car. He
grabs his phone from the middle console and shoves it in his
pocket.
He looks over at me before he opens
his door, “Are you ready to be amazed?”
I inhale sharply, toiling with the
uncertain, leaving my trust in Ben. He still has yet to tell me
what we are doing here, even though I begged him a million times
during the car ride to spill the beans.
When I get out of the car and inhale
the salty ocean air it is like a dream. The park is gorgeous, lush
greenery, bright tropical flowers, and a white sandy beach. We walk
toward the ocean, watching the sunset fall into the horizon and
waves crashing against the sand.
“
Why did you bring me
here?” I ask.
A smile spreads across Ben’s face when
he grabs my hand and gently squeezes it, “We are at the largest
nesting colony of leatherback turtles in the Pacific
ocean.”
I smile and feel an insane amount of
emotions running through my veins. I look at Ben, feeling so
grateful he brought me here. He knows how much I love everything
about nature and animals. This is like a dream come true and
definitely the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for
me.
“
Aren’t you excited?” he
asks, waiting for my response.
I nod and bring both my hands up to my
mouth. I am worried that if I speak, tears will sting my eyes. He
wraps his arms around my tiny shoulders and gives me a tight hug.
“I had one of the guys from the resort come out here earlier today
and mark some nesting holes.” Ben proudly says. He smiles down at
me and pulls me along the back end of the beach letting the sand
trickle between our toes.
Within no time, Ben shouts
out that he found one. Sure enough, when I look down, I see a hole
in the sand full of
golf ball-sized eggs. I
startle and squeal when I see the little creatures squirm by my
feet. The little hatchlings scamper and begin their mad scramble
towards the sea. Ben bends down and watches them in awe. I can
barely breathe when one of the tiny leatherback turtles crawls over
my toes and takes its first precious steps of life.
He smiles at me, and everything feels
surreal. He pulls out his phone, stands up and pulls me backwards
into his chest. He puts the phone out in front of us and tells me
to smile. He takes a picture with his arm under my chin and the
golden sun falling into the horizon, emitting a soft pink glow. He
checks the shot, kisses my cheek and lets me go.
Chapter 13
Ben snaps about a million pictures and
videos of the tiny turtles. Then he takes it upon himself to sneak
in shots of me, even after I press my lips together in a fine line
and tell him to leave me out of his photography. He knows exactly
how much I hate getting my picture taken. I threaten to toss his
beloved phone into the ocean if he doesn’t stop, but he tackles me
into the sand and flashes a few more unwanted headshots. I laugh,
kicking and screaming beneath him until his fingers grow still, and
my giggles stop. Ben leans over me, and our eyes finally lock. He
kisses me in the damp sand and slowly releases me from his grasp.
But just when I am perfectly lost in his lips, he pulls away with a
smile, tugs my ear and yanks me to my feet.
We walk down the miles of white sand,
under the star-filled sky and head back to the vehicle, but I don’t
want our evening to end. Ben casually slips his hand in mine and
bashfully smiles at me. I smile back, feeling his thick strong
fingers entwine with mine. It makes me a bit queasy, because all I
can think about is how this is something real couples do. Not
friends who are casually sleeping together. As juvenile or innocent
as handholding may be, in my experience, you don’t just do that
with anybody. There is something underlying and intimate about it
that remains hidden by the first base stigma attached to it. But
when I feel Ben’s rapid pulse beat against my palm, I know he
understands the magnitude of his gesture.
We remain in a comfortable silence,
and let the water crash into our toes and the sand sink beneath our
feet. Ben smiles at me, and rambles on about how great that was,
and how he was glad we did it together. I of course agree and thank
him for bringing me.
Once we are at the vehicle, Ben walks
over to the passenger’s side and opens up my door for me. I stand
completely frozen, watching him wait for me to slide in. I thank
him with raised eyebrows and slowly sit down on the seat letting
him close the door behind me. I can’t help but note what a
chivalrous gesture that was. I didn’t know Ben had it in him to be
such a gentleman. Does Ben do that for all the women he sleeps
with? I quickly decide I would rather not know. Instead I let it
go, and know that this moment is mine.
He walks around the front end of the
car and twirls the keys between his fingers. He opens his door and
slides inside. He clears his throat and slowly starts to put the
keys in the ignition, but abruptly stops. He looks at me, breathing
heavily with his strong broad chest rising up and down. I feel
butterflies saunter around in my stomach, just staring into his
dark brown eyes.
“
Megan, I know this is
crazy.” He sighs, and grips the steering wheel at exactly at ten
and two, “But, you make me…I just – I have always loved being
around you. That’s why we have been such great friends all these
years. You are the only person in the world that gets me, and it
scares me.”
“
What is that supposed to
mean?” I ask, looking down in my lap and twiddling with my
shirt.
“
It just means…” Ben
pauses. He lets out a deep frustrated breath, “I don’t know what it
means. God Megan this is – I can’t even – I just – You’re just way
too good for me. I honestly don’t deserve any of this.”
The dead silence filling the interior
of the car forces me to look up, and I see he looks about as
nervous as I feel. I don’t know what to say. Me? Too good for him?
That’s what he thinks? Is he out of his mind? Has he seen the body
and face he’s been blessed with?
“
No I’m not.” I
whisper.
“
Yes you are!” Ben shouts
looking at me with pain clouding his dark eyes. He takes a deep
breath leans over and kisses my cheek, “You are, and don’t you
forget it.”
I hold his gaze letting silence fill
the car. His vulnerability is so foreign to me. I feel like I don’t
even recognize him. He is always so confident and well spoken,
nothing close to this. I think now would be a good time to confirm
we were more than just friends sneaking around and having a good
time, but I am scared and worried that if I push too far, I may
ruin everything.
Ben firmly places his keys into the
ignition. He switches the car into reverse, and checks the
rear-view mirror. He drapes his muscular arm across the back of my
seat and glances over his shoulder before he starts to back up. I
feel a tingling sensation spread all over my body, and I can’t
resist him anymore. I am totally turned on by his shy and uncertain
behavior and it makes me want him more than ever.
“
Stop the car.” I
shout.
Ben slams on the breaks.
“
What is it?” he asks
turning white.
“
Park the car and turn it
off.” I command.
Ben does exactly what I say, when
something inside me snaps and climbs across the seat to straddle
him. Both his hands find my hips as I passionately kiss him,
smelling his intoxicatingly natural scent, mixed in with what I am
guessing to be an SPF15. Ben moans and kisses me back running his
hands up my back, and massaging his fingers through my
hair.
“
You scared me.” Ben pants
pulling me into him, and kisses down my neck.
I groan, “I’m sorry. I just need you
inside me right now.”
He lets out a chuckle and grabs onto
my chin, forcing his lips back onto mine, “You can have me any way
you want, babe.”
Even though we are completely cramped,
and my back is pressed up against the steering wheel, I don’t care.
Right now, I can’t get enough of him. He reaches around behind me
and unclips my bra then yanks its out from under my shirt. His
sucks on my bottom lip and whispers “Get in the back. Now.” and
waits for me to scurry off his erection pressing through his
shorts. Seconds later, we are like two high school kids making out
in the back seat of a car that doesn’t belong to either of
us.
His hands find the hem of my tank and
he peels it off from my body. He tosses it to the front seat before
his skillful hands caress my breasts. He pulls me on top of him and
runs his tongue along each of my nipples and slips one into his
mouth and whispers against my skin, “I could spend hours here;
teasing, sucking and tasting you.”
I moan and run my hands down his chest
and feel his perfect pecks mesh into his rippling abs. I can’t take
it any more when I yank off his shirt from his body and press his
hard warm skin against mine. Ben wraps me tightly in his arms and
his lips are back on mine sucking at my mouth. He smiles at me with
his eyes, and kicks off his shorts, “Flip over, I want a full view
of that ass.”
I gulp. Wow. He is so sexy. My body
tingles when I turn myself around. I quickly become thankful it is
dark outside, because I know it is about to get R rated real fast.
Then Ben pushes my skirt up to my hips, and in one swift motion
enters me.
We take advantage of every square
inch, and it is amazing what you can do in small and restricted
spaces if you just use your imagination. I love every thrust, every
moan and every dirty word that comes out of his mouth, until he
abruptly stops and grunts, “I got to turn you around, I’m gonna
explode if I keep on fucking you this way.” He flips me on my back
and locks his eyes lock with mine then whispers, “You’re so
beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful.” And slips back
inside me.
His words make my heart
feel like it is pounding out of my chest. About a million images
flash through my mind of us over the years together. Like in high
school, whenever his mother would let him drive their mini-van to
school, I would always be the first person he would offer to pick
up. Or in college, whenever we had an exam, he would never pass up
the opportunity for us to study together. He would faithfully show
up with two coffees, a bottle of Tylenol, and box of donuts in
hand. Or how sometimes late at night he sends me good-night text
messages that say things like,
Sweet
Dreams
and
Have
Fun Counting Sheep
.
Then I think about how every boyfriend
I have ever had, whether it was Marco, Will or Donny, all at one
point when we dated envied my relationship with Ben. I defended
myself and accused them of being insecure. I called them crazy and
insisted they had nothing to worry about. I remember telling every
single one of them the exact same thing: Ben was nothing more than
a friend.
But when Ben releases inside of me, he
is anything but my friend. I can’t help but think about how all my
ex-boyfriends were right. They had every reason in the world to be
jealous of Ben. Because at the end of the day, he was the one I
called over all my worries; he was the one I shared all my secrets
with; and he was the one I would drop everything for if I had too.
They all saw something I couldn’t. I was crazy about him. As
innocent as our friendship was, it was clear there was an insane
connection between us. It is only now that I realize all of my
three ex-boyfriends were far from crazy with their accusations. I
was the crazy one for not seeing what I had in front of me all
along.
Ben lets out a deep breath and comes
in for an after-sex snuggle. He somehow manages to fit horizontally
across the back seat (even though he is six feet tall) and wraps
his arm around my body. When I start to slip through his grasp and
down to the floor, he flips me on top of his chest to face him. My
hair cascades around my face, and he gently tucks it behind my ears
and kisses the top of my forehead. I trace my fingers along his
chest and draw random objects like zigzags and swirls in our
comfortable silence. Ben takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.
He tells me to draw something so he can guess what it is. I
nervously trace a tiny heart on his chest, hoping he doesn’t read
too much into it. But because I am so awestruck with him right now,
I can’t think of anything better. When I am done, I look at Ben
just in time to see him open his eyes and smile, “That’s way too
small for how my heart feels about you.”