Between Love and Lies (35 page)

She never wanted to let go of him, but she must. If she loved him, she had to give him what he’d given her. She released him and said, “You’re free to leave Dodge.”

CHAPTER 23

Noah stood
on the jailhouse porch, watching Dodge’s residents and new arrivals rush by. The town was the same as when he’d rode in a few weeks ago searching for Sadie—wicked and brash, and like no place he’d ever seen before.

Its time would come, though. It’d flex its muscles, run wild like a yearling colt, believe itself unstoppable, and then one day it would hit an obstacle that would shake it to its foundations.

That was when something amazing might happen. Things that would’ve been impossible to see previously might become clear. If the townsfolk allowed, the town could rebuild itself into something more resilient. It would survive.

All things changed eventually.

He knew this for a certainty now, because—this time—he’d been the one to change.

He’d come to Dodge looking for redemption in the salvation of a woman whose first name he hadn’t even known. He’d found all of that and more. His remorse over his brother’s death hadn’t disappeared, but it no longer gnawed at him relentlessly. More often than not, when he thought of Jacob, he recalled the good times they’d shared working the ranch together.

That was another change. Texas was on his mind a lot lately. Ideas about how to make the land flourish and improve his home tumbled around inside him like roughhousing children.

It was time to go home. Time to build a life.

But something stronger bound him to Dodge.

Sadie.

How could he leave without her? He tried to picture his future without her in it…and failed. So that meant staying in Dodge. Or not. Was there a place for him in her heart? More than ever he wanted to ask her to marry him. New worries stopped him.

She was now a respectable woman with her entire future ahead of her. No one and nothing held her prisoner—not her promise to her friend or her fears that Gertie or John would catch and punish her if she ran. After Gertie had been arrested, John had left town without a word. So had a strangely silent Cora.

For the first time, Sadie had control over her life. Would she give up any of her newfound freedom to make a place for him beside her? After all she’d been through, did he even have the right to ask her?

He should take a step back, court her, treat her like a lady. Approach her like he would’ve on the first day he’d searched for her in Dodge…before he discovered her working in a saloon. But he couldn’t move forward until he took care of one piece of unfinished business.

He had to return her farm, show her the house he’d spent the last days improving with a few finishing touches. Or more than a few as he procrastinated.

What if his offering stirred the old resentments?

Slipping his hand inside his pocket, he touched Edward’s letter, although it was as much Sadie’s letter now. He’d read her words so many times they were burned into his subconscious.

I won’t let the best truth I’ve ever known die with me. I will always love you.

Why hadn’t she said the words? Not once had she even mentioned the letter—not when he’d found her under the tub at the Great Western and not in the days that followed. That worried him. She’d written the words hastily, under adverse circumstances. She’d been scared, feared she might die.

Did she remain silent because she regretted what she’d written?

He’d find out if he went to talk to her. But his feet remained rooted in place. If he didn’t speak to her, he could hold onto the lie that her love might be true.

The door to the jail creaked open and closed behind him. He straightened his back, realizing he’d hunched into a coil of black thoughts.

Bat handed him a cup of coffee and set his shoulder against the porch post beside him. Two sentinels watching over Dodge.

“How’s Gertie settling into her new home?” Noah asked.

Bat grinned. “She looks good sitting in Miss Sullivan’s cell. Jus’ sorry we didn’t find a way to put her in there sooner.”

Noah’s fingers tightened around his cup. “Would look a helluva lot better if Wardell was locked up with her.”

“True, very true. But knowing a person should be in jail ’n getting them there are two different things. Edward’s letter might not hold up in court, but that don’t matter after we caught the madam with his missing possessions. The judge will convict her for theft, but with Wardell, there wasn’t a charge we could make stick.”

Noah huffed out a disgruntled breath.

Bat released a low chuckle. “You should be happy Wardell obliged us ’n left town. Dodge’s an interesting place, appalling ’n fascinating in equal measure. I reckon I’m ready to move on. Either that or take my business here to a new level.” He eyed Noah from under the brim of his hat. “How ’bout you, Deputy? Have you finally decided on that plan we talked about?”

Noah stared at the cup in his hands. “I’d like to go home to Texas.”

“But?”

He ran through all the possible excuses, then gave up and settled for the truth. “I’m not sure I can leave without Sadie.”

Bat drew in a long breath and whistled it out.

Noah’s skin prickled in anticipation, but Bat was silent.

“What? You got nothing to say?” Strangely, perversely, he wanted the lawman to needle him, give him unwanted advice, fill the void of uncertainty that surrounded him. “You’ve always got something to say.”

The faintest of smiles curved Bat’s mouth. “Sorry, not this time.” He stepped down into the street. Without breaking stride, he tipped his hat to a pair of passing ladies before calling over his shoulder, “This time, my friend, yer on yer own.”

* * *

Inside her room
at the Dodge House Hotel, Sadie sat with her hands folded in her lap. Golden beams of afternoon sunlight spilled through the second-story window, caressing her skin like a loved one’s tender touch. Not asking for, or taking, anything. Not clammy and overpowering, like the fever and chills that had overrun her body during the last few months. Not harsh and demanding, like Gertie’s and Wardell’s schemes for her future.

Everything was different.

She rose to her feet and wasn’t overcome with dizziness or the slightest fatigue. Her vision didn’t blur. Darkness didn’t crowd in from the corners. She could see, with no impediments, her surroundings: a modest but homey room with not only a bed and a bureau, but also a writing desk with an ornate clock, and a chair with plump cushions.

A smile tugged her lips as she smoothed the folds of her skirt. Her dress was new, but what pleased her most was its neckline and hem. The highest button rested on her collarbone while the skirt swished the floor when she turned.

Bat had asked his ladylove, Lizzie, to help Sadie acquire new clothing. Lizzie had pulled the soft yellow dress from a trunk and proclaimed, with a wink, that it suited Sadie much better than her.

The color suddenly reminded her of the buttercup curtains in her bedroom at the Star. She willed her shoulders to relax. She’d never see those curtains, or that room, again.

She’d succeeded. Edward’s treasures were no longer in the hands of his murderer.

Gertie had tried her damnedest to keep them to the very end, though. They hadn’t been in her piano and she’d denied any knowledge of their whereabouts. She’d also locked her safe and refused to open it.

When Noah and Bat had discussed ways to break into the cast-iron box—use dynamite or send for an expert from Chicago—she’d offered another option. She’d given them the combination. The one she’d learned while hiding under Gertie’s bed.

Noah finally knew how she’d gotten so dusty the night he’d first kissed her properly. He’d again expressed his concern for her risky behavior, but she deemed it well worth the danger.

In the end, that gamble had paid off.

After so much time and effort, finding the watch and jewelry box in a rough canvas sack in the safe made them seem smaller. But their true value couldn’t be denied. It wasn’t their size or even the amount of money they’d fetch at auction. They equaled her freedom, her debt to Edward repaid, her promise to avenge his murder fulfilled.

Your last moments were not in vain, my friend.

She’d accomplished what she’d set out to do. She hadn’t regained her farm, but it no longer seemed important. Not when she had her health and her freedom, and something as precious.

New friends.

In addition to giving her respectable clothing, Bat and Lizzie had, along with Doctor Rhodes, called in several favors to secure her new living accommodations. She now resided in a respectable establishment, dressed like a lady with her future wide open.

No one could order her to stay in this room, or go anywhere else. She could do whatever she pleased. And still…something was missing.

Certain wishes were as far out of reach as ever: a home she could nurture and cherish, this time alongside a partner who’d make her stronger while she did the same for him. Her dreams had coalesced into a single point of longing.

Noah. She wanted to spend every day of her new future with him.

And him? What did he want? Each minute that passed, she became more certain he was waiting until he decided she was truly safe and he could leave. She hadn’t seen him since they’d found Edward’s possessions. Then today she’d received a message from the boy who’d delivered so many.

Noah had asked to visit her at four o’clock.

She reclaimed her seat in the chair she’d placed between the window and the desk. It provided the best view of the jail and the clock.

Almost time. Time to face the truth.

Noah hadn’t mentioned the declaration she’d written on Edward’s letter. He knew she loved him. Yet he’d said nothing in return. Maybe when he arrived, he’d speak to her in a different way. He’d take her in his arms, and his kiss would tell her everything she longed to hear.

The clock read one minute to four. The door of the jail opened. Her gaze never left Noah as he crossed the street. If today was the last time she saw him, she wanted to memorize every minute.

Too soon, and not soon enough, he entered the hotel below her window. Turning in her chair, she faced the door to her room. The clock ticked loudly in the silence. Her heart out-paced its rhythm, accelerating until she could no longer sit waiting. She leaped to her feet and wrenched open the door.

Noah stood outside. One bruised and scraped hand was raised to knock on the door. The other held his hat. More wounds from his battle with Gertie and Wardell’s men marred his face. Nothing had stopped him. He was reliable and steadfast and everything her heart desired.

He lowered his hand. His gaze drifted down as well, skimming her dress before returning to her face with a look of hunger. Her response came quick. A welcome rush of heat made her lean toward him.

His gaze went to his hat now clutched in both hands. “I’m glad to see you looking so well, Miss Sullivan.”

A chill snuffed out her hope. Only once before had he called her Miss Sullivan. Back when they were strangers visiting graveyards. Had the time for falsehoods returned? Before she could halt it, her false smile tightened her lips. “Thank you, Mr. Ballantyne.”

A frown pinched his brow, but he didn’t look up from his hat. An extended silence stretched between them. She racked her brain for a way to bring them closer, only to have him retreat a stride.

“Will you accompany me on an outing?” He gestured along the hall.

There wasn’t anything in Dodge she wanted to see. She caught herself before she said no. He wouldn’t leave her side while they walked wherever he wanted to go. She could hold onto him a bit longer. She collected her new bonnet.

Imagining his gaze upon her, she fumbled to tie the ribbons beneath her chin.

“May I assist you?” he asked softly.

Not trusting her voice to remain steady, she nodded. As he tied the bow, his fingers brushed her chin and her neck. Did he feel her love pounding in her veins? Would he see it in her eyes? She kept her gaze averted.

“How’s that?” A gentle tug tested the bow he’d made. “Not too tight?”

She shook her head. When his hands retreated, she summoned the strength to look at him.

The frown remained on his brow. “You’re very quiet today. Aren’t you curious where we’re going?”

As long as I’m with you the destination doesn’t matter
. She buried the thought and said, “Anywhere will be fine.”

He led her out onto Front Street. At the far end of the hotel’s hitching rail a dainty chestnut mare stood next to his faithful gray. “I arranged for the livery to provide you with a horse.

They were traveling someplace that required riding? When she was ill, she’d longed to ride on her own. Now she wanted to demand he fetch a buggy or wagon. Then she could be closer to him, like they’d been on their trip to the picnic.

Why was he acting so formal, like they’d just met? Why call her—?

“Miss Sullivan, may I help you onto your horse?”

She stifled her grimace. “That might be a good idea. It’s been a while since I’ve ridden.”