BetweenTwoBillionairesCompleteStripped (23 page)

I groan and curse
the heavens for sending these two men into my life. Is this a test?
If it is, I've already failed. I gave in to temptation and lust.
There's probably a spot in hell reserved for me now.

The truth of the
matter though, is that I know what I want. It isn't a question of
what I want, it's a question of whether or not it's right. On a deep
psychological and moral level though, I know the answer. This isn't
right. It's twisted and goes against everything I believe in and
thought I wanted.

I can't make up my
mind. I don't want to have to decide. I wish this never happened to
me.

***

Days pass. Both
Tristan and Shawn text me, but I don't text them back. My mind has
fallen into this weird place where I can't make a decision. I won't
force myself to make it. I'll just hurt until this goes away, and
maybe in that action, I have made a decision. I want this, but I
won't pursue it.

I go to work, come
home, sleep, rinse, repeat. Ethel tries to talk to me, but I shut her
out. That only enrages her. Things are returning to normal.
Miserable. Normal.

It's been about a
week since I last saw Tristan. The texts have stopped. Perhaps he's
gotten the message. At least, I think he has until the following
week.

Both him and Shawn
show up at my job together. They're dressed to the nines in business
suits, looking painfully delicious. A reminder of what I gave up. The
store is empty for once, which is highly unfortunate in this
circumstance. I have nothing else to focus on but them.

“
What
can I get you?” I sigh as I step up to the register.

“
I
take it you made your decision.” Shawn is the first to speak.
He looks down on me with cold eyes.

Bile wells up in my
throat. I don't want to talk to them. I can't do this. “Jenn,
could you handle these two gentlemen? I need to go to the restroom.”
I turn to my co-worker before retreating to the bathroom. She has no
choice but to wait on them.

I stay in the
bathroom for a good five minutes, sitting on the toilet with my head
in my hands. What am I going to do? There's nothing I can do. I just
need to come up with something to say to them. But what? Nothing
comes to mind.

When I finally
reemerge from the restroom, the two of them are sitting at a table
inside the store, sipping on their coffees. Thank God, Jennifer took
care of them. They're out of my hands now, though I doubt that will
last.

I continue my work,
trying to ignore them, though I can see them whispering and glancing
at me out of my peripheral vision. Tristan looks hurt. Shawn looks
upset, bordering on angry. I've slighted them. I know that. They came
to see me, and I can't even face them.

After about ten
minutes, they stand up to leave. Tristan heads straight for the door,
not even casting a backwards glance at me. Shawn lingers behind to
throw their cups away. I sigh in relief, realizing that it's about to
finally be over. They won't come back. There's no reason for them to
come back.

Once Shawn finishes
throwing their cups away, he approaches the counter again. I consider
tossing him off to Jenn a second time, but the register isn't her
duty, it's mine, and I can't pretend to have to pee again.

“
Want
a pastry to go?” I ask nonchalantly.

Shawn stares at me
as if I'm stupid. “He's really hurt, you know?”

“
I'm
hurt too.” I glance around the store, though there's no one
around us who could be listening besides Jennifer, and I already know
she's listening.

“
He
really wanted this to work out . . . And so did I.”

“
You
did?” I arch an eyebrow.

“
I
had fun with you. We could have had a lot more.” His eyes grow
hooded and seductive as he looks at my lips. It makes me feel small
and weak and aroused. “We still could.”

“
I'm
. . . not sure what you're getting at.” My expression turns
confused.

“
This
is your last chance, Sarah. Tristan has been through a lot, and he
can't take anymore. Come to the house tomorrow night. Eight o'clock.
If you don't show, we'll know it's over. He can't wait for your
answer any longer. He needs to start healing.” Shawn turns to
look out the window towards Tristan. They brought Shawn's sport car
today. Apparently, he got new tires for it, sans asking Ethel for
money to replace them.

“
Tomorrow
at eight, you'll have my answer,” I say shortly.

Shawn nods and
leaves without another word, and I watch him walk away and get into
the driver's side. He's so attractive. They both are. The thought
that I could have both of their naked bodies writing against me. . .
I shake the sinful thought away.

“
So,
are you going to tell me what just happened?” Jennifer asks
with an ear-to-ear grin.

“
No.
I'm not.” I frown, turning away from her so that she'll know to
mind her own business. I'm not even sure what just happened. All I
know is that they won't be seeing me tomorrow.

***

I tell myself that,
but it does little good when the appointed time arrives. At seven
o'clock, I'm sitting on my bed wringing my hands together. My eyes
flit over to the clock on my bedside table every few minutes. It's
counting down to the end. The end of any chance I could have to
rekindle my relationship with Tristan. The end of everything. At
least, it feels like the end of everything. My heart is throbbing
with pain. My feet are itching to move.

I glance at my car
keys. I should go, just to give the two of them closure. They got
closure at the store though. I'm just trying to make an excuse to see
them, to keep from losing them forever.

Seven thirty rolls
around. If I don't leave now, I won't get there on time. My butt
stays planted to the bed. I have to make it through this. I should
get online and distract myself, but I just don't feel social. Or
maybe I should talk to Ethel. A good fight would divert my focus.

Seven forty-five. I
made it. There's no way I'd show up on time now. It's over.

I stand up and take
a deep breath, closing my eyes. Images of Tristan smiling at me near
the duck pond play through my head. Cuddling under Shawn's arm, even
though he just did it to get me in bed. That stupid moment during the
movie where I became weak and fell for him.

Before I know what's
happening, I'm in my car speeding down the road. I don't care about
my morals. I don't care about Catholic school. All I care about is
being happy.

I know I look like a
mess when I pull up in front of their house. There's no cute dress to
greet them in. Just jeans and a T-shirt that I ordinarily wouldn't
set foot outside in. This couldn't wait a second longer though. I'm
already late.

My heart pounds in
my chest as I take long strides to the front door. I lift my fist to
knock and hesitate. I should just ring the doorbell. No, I'll knock.
Damn this addle-brained confusion and nervousness.

My fist raps against
the door. I push a loose strand of hair behind my ear as I hear
footsteps approaching.

Shawn opens the door
and glares down at me. “You're late.” He's in an
expensive looking gray checkered flannel with a black sweater on top,
looking like a million bucks. I can tell by the way he's eying me up
and down that he's not keen on my outfit.

“
Can
I come in?” I ask timidly.

He casts a glance
inside, as if debating on the answer. Then he opens the door to me
and motions into the foyer with his head. I slink down as I walk past
him. The door closes, and I hear Shawn's footsteps as he walks behind
me. “He's in the dining room.”

I veer towards the
dining room and find Tristan sitting there with his head in his
hands. For a moment, I just stand in the doorway, staring at him. All
of my emotions come to a head when he looks up at me and smiles. It's
like he's seeing me for the first time. No man has ever looked at me
the way he is now.

He gets up and
crosses the distance between us, pulling me into his arms. “Thank
God, you came. I didn't think you would come.”

“
I
didn't think I would either, to be honest.” There's no point in
hiding the truth.

We embrace for what
feels like forever. As I look over his shoulder, I can see that the
table has been set for dinner. There are candles and wine with three
place settings. The moment we disengage from the hug, Tristan
gestures to one of the chairs. “Shawn, pull her seat out. I'm
going to get the food.” Then he disappears for the kitchen,
hurrying to serve us as he always has.

Shawn does as he's
told, pulling my chair out like a gentleman. I honestly can't tell if
he's pleased that I showed up or not. He's probably just stomaching
me for Tristan's sake, at this point. Anyone who hurts his brother is
an enemy.

“
This
is nice.” I look around at the place settings, trying to make
idle conversation.

Shawn sits beside
me. It seems out of place, like him and I are the couple instead of
Tristan and I. I suppose we're all going to be a couple now though,
if a couple can imply more than two people.

He reaches out to
push my glass of wine towards my hand, then he leans in to whisper
into my ear, “Drink up, sweetheart. You're going to need it for
the night you're about to have.”

I gulp audibly,
wondering what he means. There's no time to ask though. Tristan is
already setting a casserole of some sort in front of us along with
side dishes. “Enchiladas,” he tells me. Why do I always
think it's casserole.

I glance over at
Shawn, who is intently staring at me. The nervousness I feel inside
is enough to make me take a long swallow from the wine glass. This is
more awkward than I thought it would be, and the bitterness of the
wine offers nothing but a quick distraction.

Soon, we're all
seated and served. Everything feels somehow forced, as if there's
unspoken tension between us. Maybe I'm the only one who senses it.
Things definitely aren't normal though. Of course, they're not. I'm
here for . . . I'm not even sure. To reassure Tristan that I still
want him? To try to bond with both of them at the same time? I don't
even know.

“
So,
how have you been?” Tristan tries to strike up a conversation.

“
Fine.”
I nod. “Just working. Nothing new.”

“
Same
shit, different day,” Shawn chimes in, sounding incredibly
bored.

“
That's
life, isn't it?” Tristan laughs uncomfortably.

“
The
enchiladas are good.” I nod down at the food, pulling a stringy
fork-full of enchilada and cheese away from my plate to take a bite.
The food is always good. Tristan is an amazing chef.

“
I'm
glad you like it.” He smiles across the table at me.

“
You're
going to make me fat if you keep cooking like this,” I joke,
feeling like a repeat from the other times he's fed me.

“
I
highly doubt that.” He shakes his head.

“
So
I guess this means you still want to be with us?” Shawn looks
straight at me. The intensity of his gaze makes me want to cower.
It's like he expects my answer to be no.

“
I'm
here, aren't I.” I push a strand of hair behind my ear, trying
not to seem too weirded out by the whole situation.

“
Well
then, we should probably hurry up and wrap this up, so we can get
down to business.”

“
Shawn,
calm down. She just got here.” Tristan furrows his brow at his
brother.

Shawn's head snaps
towards Tristan. “I know you're trying to postpone the
inevitable, but she needs to know what it's going to be like being
with us.”

“
Stick
to the plan. There's no point in rushing things.”

“
The
plan?” I look between them. I can't help but get the feeling
I'm being set up again.

“
Yes,”
Tristan sighs in my direction. “We're going to try to do a
little bit of me and then a little bit of him. Shawn is just being
greedy right now.” He glares across the table at Shawn.