Beyond (Afterlife book 1) (12 page)

I looked at the date when he was supposed to
die. It was only three months from now.

Abhik came to me after dinner and sat on
my bed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I think he sensed
that, because he didn’t say a word. He just sat there quietly for a
long time. It was kind of nice. Most of the time I just stared at
the ceiling. Pictures of me and Jason kept appearing before my
eyes.

The emotional pain was horrible. My heart
felt like it had been torn to pieces. And I had no idea how to fix
it.

“
So do you want to go for
a fly?” Abhik finally asked. He knew that I loved that and it would
always cheer me up. But not today. I shook my head and saw the
disappointment on his face.

“
I’m sorry, I’m not in the mood
for anything right now,” I said.

Abhik smiled and got up from the bed.

“
It’s all right. Just let me
know, when you’re in the mood again,” he said and left the
dormitory.

“
Three months!” I kept mumbling
to myself. That was three months of our time, and much more of his.
Three whole months of knowing and doing nothing. I couldn’t go and
visit him, not without telling him what I knew. So I was looking at
three months without getting to see Jason and when I finally would
see him, he would be dead and probably never remember me. What
before had seemed like a great place to be, the Academy had
suddenly become the worst place in the world. The worst part was
that Mick had been right. I hated to admit it, but he had warned
me. I shouldn’t have peeked in that book and I shouldn’t have
broken the rules by leaving the Academy. If I hadn’t done any of
all that I wouldn’t be in this situation, I thought to
myself.

The next couple of days I went to class as
usual but I didn’t pay much attention to what any of the teachers
said. I tried, I really did, but I felt horrible inside. Mick
stopped coming to my table when I was eating and I stopped visiting
him in the kitchen. I felt badly; I really missed hanging out with
him. I missed having him as a friend and asking him for advice.
Especially now when I really needed a friend to talk to. But Mick
had made his point of view very clear to me and there was no way I
could ever talk to him about Jason again.

As the days passed, I became isolated and
lonely. People would come up and talk to me but I wouldn’t even
hear what they were saying. It all became so distant to me.
Everything became so indifferent.

When the first week had gone by I was a
total mess. I couldn’t fall asleep at night, I stopped eating and I
didn’t talk to anyone, not even Abhik. I think he just wanted to
leave me alone. Some days he came to me with my plate of food and
put it on the floor next to my bed without a word. Other days he
just smiled at me if our eyes accidentally met. I sensed he hoped I
would snap out of this eventually, but I didn’t. Every day I felt
worse. I would picture Jason in bed waiting for me, or staring at
the bathroom mirror, not understanding why I hadn’t come back to
visit him yet. Maybe he would even blame himself. He would think it
was the kiss, that he had overstepped a boundary, and I didn’t want
to see him again. Maybe he would even think I didn’t like the kiss.
But I did. He must have felt that. I liked it a lot.

I tried to keep busy, but nothing seemed
to make me feel better. I went to the stables next to the school
and volunteered to feed the Pegasuses that we were supposed to
learn how to ride in the second year of school. It took my mind off
Jason for a couple of days, but didn’t make me feel any
better.

Not even a walk in the magnificent butterfly
garden seemed to cheer me up.

Finally one day, I decided I couldn’t keep
this up any longer. I was miserable, worried, and depressed beyond
what was good for anyone. I had come to know the marble ceiling
above my bed better than I knew anything and I was sick and tired
of feeling this way. So I made a decision. I decided to tell Jason.
I had to warn him. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least
try to do something.

So when the lights were out one evening and
everybody was sound asleep I got out of bed. I tiptoed down to the
cellar and found my way to the mirror again. I felt such a relief
when I saw it. In a few moments I was about to see Jason again, I
thought to myself. I couldn’t wait. I stood for a few seconds in
front of the beautiful mirror and took in a couple of deep breaths.
I had to think this through. How was I going to tell him? What
would happen after I told him?

I sighed deeply at the task I had in front
of me and put my palm on the mirror. That was when I heard a voice
behind me.

“
I wouldn’t do that if I were
you.”

I turned around and saw Mick standing
right behind me. His blue eyes stared at me like they were agitated
with anger. Even when it was angry there was something very
handsome about his face. He was so attractive it was unbearable to
look at him. He took a step toward me.

“
What …? What are you even
doing here?” I asked. “How did you know I would be
here?”

“
Meghan …” His expression became
softer as he shook his head. “Don’t do this. Don’t go to
him.”

“
I have to,” I insisted.
“I have seen his death.”

Mick froze and stared at me.

“
In that book,” I
continued. “I saw him die. I can’t go on knowing this about him and
not warning him in time. I can’t live with myself if I don’t. I am
very sorry but I have to go,” I said and turned away from
him.

Mick grabbed my arm. “You can’t do that. You
can’t mess with this kind of stuff.”

“
That is not something you
get to decide,” I said smoothly sliding my arm out of his
hand.

In a moment of vulnerability his eyes
suddenly showed both warmth and love for me. It surprised him as
well, I think, and it made my heart start pounding in my chest. I
hadn’t seen that kind of affection in his eyes for a long time. And
I had missed it.

“
I can’t let you do this
to yourself,” he said. “I care too much for you to let you do
it.”

“
I think you should go now,” I
said looking straight at him. I felt tears stinging in my eyes. I
didn’t want to cry but this situation was hurting me. I hated
having to be like that toward Mick. The truth was I really cared
for him as well, and I knew he was only trying to protect me. But
at the same time, I had made up my mind, and there was nothing he
could say or do to make me change it. I was going to visit Jason,
and I was going right now.

A tear slipped down my cheek.
Unfortunately Mick saw it. At that second I hated my own
vulnerability. I turned my back to him and I felt him touching my
shoulder. I tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t move his
hand.

“
Meghan, I know you care
for the boy, but you can’t mess with his destiny. This is how it is
supposed to be. This is the way his life is supposed to end.
Horrible things happen all the time all around the world, and you
can’t help everybody.”

“
But I can help Jason. I
can make a difference in one person’s life. Doesn’t that count for
anything? It has to count for something.”

“
It is very noble of you,
but it is not your battle to fight.”

I turned around again. Now more tears were
running down my cheeks, but I didn’t care anymore.

“
Then whose battle is it
then?” I yelled. “Who is going to do something to help Jason? No
one. That is who. His step-dad is going to beat all life out of
him, and no one is going to stop him. Why? Can you tell me the
logic in that? Why don’t the Angels or even God do something? If
they all know this is the way he is going to die, why don’t they
help him? Why don’t they stop it?”

Mick shook his head. “I don’t know. But
there are a lot of things you and I don’t understand about this
world and about the human world.”

“
I thought I would get all the
answers when I died. That there would be some kind of explanation.
But not even then, huh?”

Mick sighed. “It is a process. They cannot
tell you everything the day you come here. You need to learn, and
sometimes it means you have to experience things before you learn
from them.”

“
What does that even
mean?”

“
Let me tell you something I
haven’t told you. Once you graduate they let you in through the
gates of Heaven, and you get to see all the people you have known
in your life, even some you haven’t known but to whom you are
related. And that is pretty awesome. In Heaven you get to meet
Jesus and, even though he will answer a lot of questions for you,
there is still a lot you will not understand right away. But it
will come to you eventually. Oh I forgot, you get to have a whole
new body if you would like. You can choose to be any age you want
to be.”

I was sobbing. But I really liked what he
was telling me.

“
That sounds very nice.
Have you been there?”

“
I go there as often as I get
the chance.”

“
But you have been in this realm
for so long and you still can’t tell me why no one helps the people
who are suffering on earth. Why no one is helping
Jason.”

“
All I know is that there
is a lot of evil in that world. There will always be evil on
earth.”

“
I’m sorry, but that is simply
not a good enough answer for me,” I said and turned around
again.

Then I felt Mick grabbing my wrist and
pulling me. As I turned he pushed me back against the wall. I felt
his body pressed tightly against mine. Then much to my surprise I
felt his lips pressed roughly against mine in a desperate
passionate kiss. And even more to my surprise, I found myself
kissing him back. It was strange kissing another spirit, but it
wasn’t that much different from kissing a human. It was as though
our lips were all tangled and became like one. It felt incredible.
My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it would jump out of my
chest. I felt so disarmed.

Then he pulled himself away from me.

“
I can’t do this,” he said. “I
am so sorry. I should not have done that.”

I looked at him feeling really confused. He
kept shaking his head.

“
It is not right,” he said. “We
cannot do this again.”

I sighed. I was so confused. I kind of
knew he might have feelings for me, but I never thought he would
actually kiss me. I thought I was more like a sister to
him.

“
Maybe we should just go
back to being friends again?” I said.

He looked at me and smiled. “I would very
much like that,” he said.

I convinced myself that maybe Mick was
right, I shouldn’t go to tell Jason, I shouldn’t interfere with
what was meant to be, what was destined for him. So when Mick asked
if he could walk me back to my dormitory I accepted with a
smile.

When we reached the entrance, I turned and
looked at him.

“
About that kiss,” I said
but he stopped me by putting a gentle finger on my lips.

“
Shh. Let’s not talk about
it. Some things are better left in the past.”

“
Oh, okay,” I said. “Well,
then goodnight, I guess?”

“
Sleep tight.”

I gave him a very awkward hug and turned
away, when he suddenly spoke.

“
How did you know about
the mirror in the cellar anyway?”

I turned and looked at him.
“What?”

“
Someone must have told
you about it and where it was. Did you go through it alone the
first time?”

I looked at him and he was still
smiling.

“
Portia heard about it from
someone in the second year, why?”

“
So she went with you the
first time?”

I nodded a little confused as to why he
was asking that all of a sudden. “Yeah.”

“
Who else?”

“
What?”

“
Who else went with you
through that mirror?”

“
Uhm … Mai and Abhik.
Acacia tried but couldn’t go through the mirror, why do you
ask?”

He shook his head. “No reason. Just
curious.”

“
Oh okay … well
…”

“
Goodnight,” he said and lifted
his hat off while he bowed elegantly in front of me.

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. He
was so old-fashioned that it became rather funny. When he heard my
laughter he seemed a little hurt then he turned around and started
to float away.

I moved a little in his direction. “Hey!”
I yelled.

He stopped and turned around.

“
It was nice talking to
you again. I really enjoyed that,” I said.

He smiled and bowed again. “My pleasure,”
he said.

And then he was gone.

Chapter
13

That night I
dream
ed
about my parents again. They were still searching for me. I heard
my mother calling my name and I felt a pang of longing in my heart.
Her voice sounded so desperate, so filled with worry and sorrow. I
woke up with a scream. It was still dark outside but I was afraid
to go back to sleep—afraid of hearing that voice calling for me
again. It made me so sad inside. That was when I realized that I
was not the only one awake in the dormitory. Someone was sitting in
the window staring at me.