Beyond Hope's Valley: A Big Sky Novel (35 page)

Her hands started to quiver like aspen leaves in the wind. She didn't know how to answer that, so she replied with the only words that came to her mind. "You better get back in there, Ben, they're waiting to hear the rest of your song."

T
he wedding wagon pulled up, and Marianna wanted to take a look inside. So many Amish weddings were held outdoors, a cooking wagon made it easier to prepare the two wedding meals. More than satisfying her curiosity, though, Marianna needed a distraction. After talking with Ben the other night, she hadn't been able to sleep much. His words continued to play through her mind.

"
I'll keep waiting. Until you make a vow to another I'm not going to give up hope.
"

Marianna followed Aunt Ida inside, noting the five gas stoves, cookware, and the large coffeemaker. The wedding was tomorrow, but friends and family had already gathered to help prepare.

While the women buzzed around inside the wedding wagon, hard at work, the men gathered in the side yard. She knew Levi was with them. Custom required that the bridegroom cut off the heads of the fowl that would be cooked up for the wedding feast.

Men walked through the coops that sat alongside Naomi's parents' barn, picking out the best chickens, ducks, and turkeys. In the wedding wagon, women prepared dressing, stuffed the foul, washed dishes, and peeled potatoes. Pies covered every free bit of counter space, and some of the older children had been put to work cracking nuts. Marianna's Uncle Abe and Uncle Levin, Aunt Betsy's husband, supplied hot water from large kettles. Other menfolk emptied garbage cans and constructed tables from wide pine boards and trestles. She knew before the men journeyed home for the night all the fowl would be placed in a large outdoor baking oven.

Marianna set to work peeling potatoes in the deep metal sink, but her mind wasn't fixed on the task at hand. Instead she imagined standing in front of all her friends and family, reciting her vows before Aaron, before God. Even now her tongue felt thick as she thought about saying those words. Yet how could she not go through with it? He'd built a home for her. It was what everyone expected—

But could she do it?

Could she vow her love for one man when her heart had already given it to another?

Naomi's aunts had been cooking since yesterday, and by the time Marianna had walked across the lawn to Naomi's parents' place at 7:00 a.m., they were already there, continuing where they left off. Inside the house six tables were set up on three sides of the living room and in the kitchen. Chairs filled the rest of the space.

It had just turned 8:00 a.m. and crowds had already gathered, everyone in their places for the wedding. For as long as she could remember, Marianna had always looked forward to weddings. It was not only a great occasion for the bride and bridegroom, but for the guests—especially the young people who got to see friends and cousins they hadn't seen for a while.

This time, though, dread weighed on Marianna, as if she walked with concrete shoes. Did those attending wonder about her and Aaron's plans? How would she respond? She needed to talk to him, that she knew, but not today.

Today she needed to celebrate a love confessed and vowed.

Marianna made her way to the front row with the others in the bridal party. By nine o'clock the house was full. As those gathered sang, Levi and Naomi were led into the other room by the ministers. She looked beautiful in her light blue dress with a white apron. It looked similar to the dresses they wore every day but the lighter color of the dress made it special.

Marianna knew this was a time they were given instructions concerning the duties of marriage. What did the ministers tell them? Did they discuss the importance of faithfulness and speaking the truth? If so, how did Levi and Naomi respond? How would she respond?

After three songs were sung, Levi and Naomi returned holding hands. Marianna rose with the rest of the bridal party and moved with Levi and Naomi to the row of benches called the minister's row. Marianna kept her eyes on the preacher, refusing to look at Aaron who sat across from her.

The bishop's vigorous voice rose as he shared stories from God's Holy Word. He relayed the story of Adam and Eve and how God had created a special woman perfectly designed for Adam. He also shared the uprightness done by Noah's sons who did not intermarry with unbelievers. Marianna had heard it all, but for some reason each sentence of his stories pierced her heart.

At noon the sermon ended, and the bishop asked Levi and Naomi to come forward. After they answered a series of questions, Marianna held her breath as the bishop placed his hands over the clasped hands of Levi and Naomi.

"You have now heard the ordinance of Christian wedlock presented. Levi, are you now willing to enter wedlock together as God in the beginning ordained and commanded?"

Levi looked to his red-headed bride, and Marianna couldn't miss the intense love in her brother's eyes. Marianna couldn't see Naomi's face but she imagined the same look in her gaze.

Levi nodded. "Yes."

"Are you confident that this, our sister, is ordained of God to be your wedded wife?"

"Yes."

Then he turned to Naomi. "Are you confident that this, our
bruder
, is ordained of God to be your wedded husband?"

"Yes."

He looked to Levi. "Do you also promise your wedded wife, before the Lord and His church, that you will never more depart from her, but will care for her and cherish her. And if bodily sickness comes over her, or in any circumstance which a Christian husband is responsible to care for, you will do your duty as her husband until the dear God will again separate you from each other?"

"Yes."

The minister's eyes looked to Naomi. "Do you also promise your wedded husband, before the Lord and His church that you will never depart from him?"

"Yes."

The couple then clasped their right hands together and the bishop continued. "So then I may say the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob be with you and help you together and fulfill His blessing abundantly upon you, through Jesus Christ. Amen. You are husband and wife."

A smile radiated from Levi's face. Tears of joy filled Naomi's eyes.

With the wedding complete, the events of the day were just starting. Marianna worked alongside the others as they transformed the room for serving lunch. And then they fed the crowd family-style in three shifts.

She smiled and chatted with the others as the dishes were cleared, washed, and reset. Then as the high summer sun dipped lower on the horizon she joined the others as they sang their traditional wedding hymns and songs. As they sang, snacks were passed around. There was still the Amish wedding dinner to go, followed by the songs of the vorsingers.

And when the time finally came, Marianna listened to the words more closely than she ever had before.

We alone, a little flock,

The few who still remain,

Are exiles wandering through the land

In sorrow and in pain . . .

We wander in the forests dark,

With dogs upon our track;

And like the captive, silent lamb

Men bring us, prisoners, back . . .

Marianna understood this pain far too well.

When they continued the next song, she couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes. She wiped them away and raised her voice above the others—as if that would make everything better.

Listen to me, all peoples of the earth.

Listen to me, young and old, great and small.

If you want to be saved, you need to leave sin,

follow Christ the Lord, and live according to His will.

Christ Jesus came to the earth to teach men the right way to go,

to teach them to turn from sin and to follow Him.

He said: "I am the way the truth and the life,

no one comes to the father except through me."

He who longs for Gemeinschaft with Christ

and who wants to take part in His kingdom,

needs to do what Christ did while he was on the earth.

He who wants to reign with Christ must first be willing to suffer for His name.

And in singing those words, she knew. That was where the problem lay. She was willing to suffer for Christ—to turn her back on all Englisch ways—if that was what He asked. The problem was . . .

She didn't know.

Was
that what God was asking of her? As much as she wanted to answer yes, she couldn't. Because deep down, she had a feeling . . .

She should not dismiss Ben—not just yet.

B
en sat in the room that used to be Marianna's and from his perch in her window took in the long line of buggies parked on the road. He'd been invited to the wedding, but he knew they'd only done so to be kind. Abe and Ruth seemed relieved when he said he'd rather just stay home.

He wanted to be there for Levi—to get to know him better—but Ben knew with an Englischer there most of the Amish would be more focused on him than the ceremony. Besides, he didn't know how his heart would take hearing two people reciting vows to each other when the woman he loved was on the arm of another.

"What am I doing here?" he whispered into the empty room. "God, why can't You just release me? Why can't You take away this love that I have for her? I'd rather be empty of love than heartbroken. There has to be another way . . ."

Footsteps sounded behind him, and Ben turned. A young woman stood there wearing Amish dress. She looked to be Marianna's age, but she had a hardness about her. There was a knowing in her eyes, too, that told him she was all too familiar with the ways of the world.

"Sorry to interrupt." She attempted a smile but it paused halfway up. "I know you don't know me, but I've been a friend of Marianna's for a long time—for as long as I can remember. I'm Rebecca, and there are some things I need to talk to you about."