Beyond the Stars (25 page)

I thought about Gaelan while I got ready. I couldn’t get him off my mind. Last night, he had fallen asleep beside me on the sofa. He had pulled an extra shift and seemed especially tired. I lay awake listening to the peaceful lull of his breathing. I pictured how he held me like a lover, the lingering sensation of his lips touching mine when he kissed me good night. I loved how his arms cradled me gently while his hand fell naturally on my breast. I’d never wanted anyone more. It took everything in my power to let him sleep. I reveled in the feeling of his body resting gently into mine. I couldn’t wait till he finished his shift today. I had nothing to do until lunch. I got restless waiting around and left the room to go for my daily check-in with Urit.

I entered the hospital. I was two hours early but knew I would find him there. He rarely left the vicinity. Besides, his quarters were conjoined to the hospital.

“
Sam
, how do you feel?” he said eagerly after he magically appeared at my side in seconds.

“Great! Amazing! Nothing hurts. The vaccine really worked,” I said with appreciation.

“Are you all right, Sam? You were
hurt,
” he said in a bewildered voice.

“No, I’m fine. I mean that my body feels great in general—no aches or pains,” I explained.

“Oh, good.” He sighed in relief.

“Urit, I don’t think I ever thanked you for taking such great care of me.”

“I wouldn’t see it any other way,” he beamed. I could only imagine what it took to care for my lifeless body.

“I can’t believe how different I feel. You’re a lifesaver. How do you accomplish so much?” I knew his treatment had spared my life.

“Just like everything else I do. First, I consider that anything is possible. Then, I always move in the direction in which I want to go. I am always learning from my research. Solutions arise in the most unexpected ways.”

“Did this vaccine do anything else to me? I know it protects me from viruses and radiation, but I feel twenty years younger.”

“Well,” he smiled, “it’s a cellular stabilizer. It will also correct any damage that has been done to your genetic code.”

“Wait! You mean it repaired any previous damage in my body?” I listened to the words but didn’t believe my ears.

“Exactly.”

“You’ve found the fountain of youth!” I blurted out in excitement.

“The fountain of
what?
”

“Never mind. What are the long-term effects? Will it prolong my life?” I rushed through the words.

“Yes, how do you think I stay so fit at ninety-one?” “

No, Urit, you’re not ninety … you can’t be.” I shook my head in disbelief.

“Yes, Samantha, I am. Right now, I am testing out a new way to increase reaction time on myself. I felt like I was slowing down, despite the cellular stabilization. I think it’s working really well except for some mild hyperactivity. On the positive side, I only need about three hours of sleep to feel rested. Would you like to try it? Right now, it only lasts about sixteen weeks. I’m still working on a way to make the effects last longer.” Urit went off on a tangent. Well, that explained his zipping around like a speeding bullet. I looked over at the counter covered with vials and beakers brewing multi-colored liquids. I could only dare to imagine what he had incubating in
them
.

“No, thanks, I think I’ll pass,” I graciously declined. I was happy to feel normal for a change. “Urit, our current life expectancy is already averaging 105 years. The vaccine …” I sighed after considering the consequences. “I can’t outlive my kids. Will this ever go away?” I ranted. I was ready to scream at him. I wanted to ask him how he could do this to me. I stopped myself and took a deep breath as I stared at the floor while I thought about my potential longevity. It was absolutely astounding that the Katarians had created this marvel of medicine. Regardless, I was nothing less than grateful. Urit had taken such great care of me. I would have died aboard this ship weeks ago if it weren’t for him.

Urit walked over and put his hand on my shoulder. “Sam, I’m sorry. I should have explained it better. I thought maybe you wouldn’t be so aware of the changes. Either way, I had no choice but to give you the vaccine. The effects will wear off with time. If you avoid future treatments, you will shorten your lifespan,” he explained kindly as he tried to soften the blow.

“How long does it normally last?”

“I do not know. It depends on your environmental exposure. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, though. Your people are on the brink of developing this as well,” he reassured me.

“I know you didn’t have a choice. Thank you for
everything
,” I conceded. I tried to accept my new fate but couldn’t help worry about outliving my friends and family. I suppose I would have Gaelan and Noah in my life, but I guess an early retirement was entirely out of the question.

“Samantha, now that you’re well—would you like to join me for lunch?”

“I’m sorry, Urit. I already have plans to meet Gaelan.”

“Okay,
tomorrow
then?” he asked in a hopeful tone.

“Oh, wow—I’m sorry, I can’t, Urit.” I paused searching for the right words. “Gaelan and I are sort of together,” I explained. His offer completely took me off guard.

“Hmm.” He looked away sheepishly. “Well then.” He laughed under his breath. “
That
explains it.” He shook his head while an enlightened expression drew across his face.

“Explains what?” I asked.

“Gaelan … he would barely leave your side. I just thought he felt guilty about bringing you aboard and almost causing your death. Now I know why he looked like he wanted to
rip
my head off every time I asked him to leave while I cared for you.” He chuckled with satisfaction at Gaelan’s expense.

“He came to see me?”

“Yes, every day,” he paused, “he hung out here for hours, waiting for you to wake up. I was hoping that you were only friends. I mean you and Noah, you two aren’t together but are so close and always hugging. I can hardly believe you’re just friends. I thought it could be like that with you and Gaelan,” he said disappointedly.

“Oh,” I said, feeling slightly embarrassed by my public displays of affection with Noah.

“Why hasn’t it happened for you and Noah? I just cannot believe that he has known you for over twenty years and has not wanted more.”

“No, it’s different with Noah.” I didn’t want to explain that Noah and my late husband, Jack, were like brothers. In my mind, he was just part of our family.

“One day, I even asked Noah if he ever looked at you. I offered to check his eyes,” he joked as he paced across the room. “I have developed a lens that can drastically improve vision. I coated the lens with a phosphorescent film that illuminates your retinal perception of your surroundings at night. It only takes ten minutes to insert,” he said, cutting himself off after he managed to rein in his enthusiasm about his discovery on his own this time.

“Wait!” I said with excitement. Maybe this was the answer I’d been searching for. “Can the lens make your eyes glow green?”

“There is a
mild
reflective quality that can make them appear green in the right light. Why? Did Gaelan try to
impress
you by making you believe his eyes glowed in the dark?”

“No, it’s just something I noticed.” I purposely downplayed my reaction. I didn’t want him to learn of my paranoid suspicions of them, especially after everything he’d done for me. But, oh, what a relief! The glowing green eyes of my nightmares were due to the implanted lens. Urit raised his eyebrows and looked me in the face. He seemed intrigued by my answer but didn’t question me more. I hated the Katarians’ annoying habit of
really listening
to you when you spoke.

“I wish you luck with Gaelan. Still, can I ask you to consider me if it doesn’t work out?”

“I am flattered by your offer, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Plus, I think you might be a little too young for me.” I tried to lighten the rejection with humor. He made a small chuckle. I couldn’t deny that his caring for me gave our relationship an intimacy of its own. I wondered if Urit liked having me around because he was lonely. He spent most of his time in the hospital or his quarters. He seemed to work in his lab at all hours of the day and night. The place was always quiet. It was rare that anyone ever stopped in. Everyone on board seemed to be incredibly healthy. Urit, along with Hayden and Bryson, the other doctors who occasionally joined him, spent their time working on experiments.

“But why wouldn’t it work out?” I finally asked after an uncomfortable silence.

“I’ve known Gaelan for a long time. He has managed to sabotage every possible relationship he’s ever had. If someone tries to get close to him, he takes off running. He’s not the type to make a serious commitment.”

“Thanks for the warning.” I stared off across the room and searched my mind for clues to verify the accusation. Aside from our restrained physical contact, I hadn’t noticed Gaelan maintaining any emotional distance from me. On the contrary, he had been more than willing to let me in. We had both shared our most intimate feelings with each other. It hurt to even think about letting him go. I had fallen in love with him. Why wouldn’t it work out? After all, Noah had spent the last twenty-five years on Earth. My attention drifted when I pictured his handsome image in my mind. Mmm, just the thought of Gaelan turned me on. I thought we’d both die if we didn’t make love soon. I couldn’t wait to tell him I felt better.

“I don’t want you to find disappointment.”

“Thanks, that’s kind. Well, what about you? Why haven’t you found anybody yet?” I asked, trying to pull myself out of my unexpected daydream.

“I was in love once, for sixty-three years to be exact. Nadia died six years ago. You remind me of her in ways.
Oh, yes
, I was lucky enough to share my life with one
amazing
woman. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her. She gave me the greatest gift of my life, my beautiful daughter, Nia,” he said, pondering.

“What happened?”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Tragically, I lost her to a relentless virus. I tried to do everything I could to save her, but I did not discover a cure soon enough,” he said in a defeated tone. I saw a tear well up in his eye.

“It’s not your fault. You can’t be expected to be able to cure everything you encounter,” I consoled.

“I know, but I might have been able to save her if I wasn’t away from her when she got sick. By the time I got home, it was too late—she was almost gone. The virus had shut down most of her organ function, making the damage impossible to reverse. Our medicines were useless. I didn’t have time to find a cure. She died two hours later. There was little I could do to help,” he said, sounding ridden with heavy guilt.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” I identified with the sorrow in his voice. I fought back tears as memories of Jack filled my head. I had to keep them suppressed, where they belonged. The pain still cut through me like a knife. I focused on my favorite coping mechanism: avoidance. To keep from crying, I always pictured myself riding a shiny, black, galloping horse through a field at top speeds. For some completely unexplainable reason, this bizarre, irrational thought gave me the ability to control my sadness. I wasn’t sure if it the fantasy gave me peace by imagining a route of escape or by taking my mind off my grief, but it worked. I could relate to his guilt without being crippled by my emotions. I remembered beating myself up repeatedly after losing Jack. Maybe he would still be alive if I was a more demanding wife. I had learned that forgiving others was simple—but forgiving yourself was often easier said than done.

I approached him while he peered silently out across the room and stroked his arm. “Some things are beyond our control. I understand what it’s like to lose someone close. Just try to remember how much joy she brought to your life while you were lucky enough to have her,” I said softly.

His glum face looked at me. “Thank you, Sam. You bring light with your words. I really do wish you and Gaelan happiness,” he said graciously.

CHAPTER 19

DECCA

Gaelan’s and my path intersected on the way to lunch in the dimly lit, empty corridor. He stopped me in the hallway and pulled me under one of the spotlights illuminating the passageway.