BeyondAddiction (22 page)

Coffee finished, she pulled her cell out of her purse and
found the number he’d entered.

“I expected this call sooner.”

God, she hated the smugness of his tone. Yet at the same
time, its hypnotic quality wound around her like a silken thread.

“He told you to leave.”

“I-It was best that I do.”
Because I won’t ever go to him
again with your mark on me.

“Did you take anything with you?” he demanded.

“No.” She almost whispered the word. “Nothing.”

“Excellent.” He lowered his voice, the sound tripping
triggers in her brain. “Go to the hotel and check in at the desk. I’ll tell
them to expect you and take you up to the suite.”

“Which hotel, Master?”

“The Cimarron. Back where we started this ride together.”

She bit her lip. “Yes, Master.”

“I have some things to take care of tonight,” he informed
her. “You may order room service. Shower thoroughly and clean your body with
the items I’ll arrange to have delivered to the room. I want to remove every
single trace of that asshole you’ve been shacking up with.”

Her hand tightened on the phone. She knew exactly what kind
of degrading ritual she was expected to complete. Things that Cord had
performed for her lovingly would now become a perversion.

But it’s my choice. Maybe if it doesn’t destroy me
completely, I’ll come out whole on the other side. There’s no twelve-step
program for this.

Maybe this was good. Perhaps one night completely alone
would give her the courage to break Brian’s hold. She could change her mind, go
to Claire’s. Try to put herself back together yet again.

“Then in the morning,” he continued, “dress in the clothing
that will be waiting for you. Leave anything you have on at the hotel. You may
bring your purse. Nothing else. Leave your car in the parking garage and take a
cab here. I’ll expect you at eight in the morning, sharp.” He hung up.

Fallon stared at the phone for a long time. She knew in her
heart she wouldn’t go to Claire’s. She’d made the decision to do this. She
couldn’t turn back now. She had to know if this sickness would consume her life
or if she and Cord had a chance.

Cord…

Oh god, she couldn’t think of him now.

But there was one thing she
could
do. Reluctantly,
she pressed speed dial for Claire.

“Just listen to me,” she said when her friend answered.

“Oh Jesus, Fallon.” Claire sounded instantly wary. “Why do I
get the feeling you’re about to do something stupid?”

“I had lunch with Brian today.”

“
What
? Damn it, get your ass over here,” Claire
ordered.

“No.” Fallon shook her head, even though the other woman couldn’t
see her. “I-I left Cord. Just now.”

“
Are you crazy
? Now I
insist
you come to my
house!”

I wish. Lock me in the closet. Now. And don’t let me out
until this terrible craving disappears.

“I can’t live like this anymore,” she said. “Please
understand. It isn’t the sex or the pain. Everything is so much better with
Cord.”

“Then why—”

“Because I have to break this hold he has on my mind,
Claire! Be able to see him and hear him without being hypnotized and seduced
over and over again!”

Claire was silent for a moment. “This could be very
dangerous for you,” she warned.

Fallon sighed. “No more than constantly running into him and
having him infect every bit of my life. I need to be done with it once and for
all.” She paused a moment. “And if I can’t leave him myself, then I deserve
him. Deserve whatever he hands out.”

“Honey, he’s an abuser. You
know
that.”

“And what is it they always say about abused women? They’re
enablers. I don’t want to be an enabler any longer. I want to be my own
person.”

More silence.

“How I can help?” Claire asked at last. “You already knew
I’d hate this idea. You knew I’d try to talk you out of it. So you must have
called for some other reason. Tell me what I can do, honey.”

Fallon sighed. “I just— I think I need a safety net. In
case.”

“In case of what?” Claire’s voice was edged with concern.

“I just need to be sure if I call, I can count on you to
come get me. Wherever I am.”

“Fallon—”

“If I can leave him, it has to be
my
choice this
time. Not because you yanked me out of there. Otherwise he’ll always have this
hold on me. So please. Say you’ll have my back.”

There was a long pause, long enough that Fallon’s stomach
cramped with nerves.

“You know I will,” Claire said finally. “And you know all
the reasons why you shouldn’t do this. But I also know you well enough to
realize you didn’t make this decision lightly. I’ll be here for you. Whenever
you need me.”

Fallon let out a long breath. “Thank you. I— Just…thank
you.”

She disconnected the call then dialed into her voice mail.
She had clients to take care of, a business to run. If Brian broke her
completely, then the business wouldn’t matter either way. But if she survived
this insane choice…

When the voice mail prompt came on, she recorded a new
message.

“This is Fallon Crowe. Due to a small crisis, I will be
unavailable for a short time. Please leave your name and number and I’ll get
back to you as quickly as I can.”

If there’s anything left of me.

She put the phone back in her purse. Then, despite the
anguish she felt, the burning pain on her ass and thighs, the humiliation she
knew she was in for, she left Starbucks and entered the interstate.

On a direct path to hell.

Brian was on his second cup of coffee when the doorbell rang
at precisely eight o’clock in the morning. Mrs. Hudson stepped into the dining
room.

“She has arrived. I opened the gate for the taxi. Do you
want me to get the door or make her stay out there and wait a bit?”

The woman had been with him for eight years because she was
smart, discreet, and believed the exorbitant salary he paid her should buy
loyalty and silence. He had seen her terrorize a sub with just a look and they
soon realized she was no friend. In fact, he sometimes had her tend to their
hygiene because she did it in such a humiliating way. She was one of his best
weapons in grinding total capitulation into a sub.

“No,” he told her. “You can let her in. Then bring her into
the dining room.”

He was just taking a last sip of coffee when the housekeeper
ushered Fallon into the room before leaving quietly. Fallon had tied back her
hair, scrubbed her face free of makeup and wore the loose cotton pajamas he’d
had sent to the room.

“Did you follow all my instructions?” he asked.

“Yes, Master.” Her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear.

“Louder, Slave. I don’t want to strain to hear you.”

She wet her lips. “Yes, Master. I did everything as you
requested.”

“Excellent.” He held out his hand. “Purse. Now.”

She handed it to him without hesitation. Brian opened it and
removed her cell phone. “You won’t be needing this anymore. The only people
you’ll need to talk to are right here in this house.”

He slipped the phone into his pocket and handed the purse
back to her. “Now. Remove your clothing and hang it on the back of a chair. I’m
sure you remember I keep every room in this house at a suitable temperature.
Freezing to death is not one of the punishments I wish to inflict. Then come
forward to me.”

He watched as she did as asked, her hands shaking only a
little. If he hadn’t been looking for it, he wouldn’t have even noticed. He
wondered if it was fear or excitement or a combination of both. He hoped for
the third choice. That always upped his level of enjoyment.

When she stepped in front of him, he slowly ran his hands
over every inch of her body, loving the smooth feel of her waxed pubis, the
creamy skin on her legs and arms. He turned her around, pleased to note the
marks from yesterday’s flogging were still very apparent. He made a mental note
to administer another session later so she’d remember whose property she was.
She wouldn’t sit comfortably for a week and that was fine with him.

He separated the cheeks of her buttocks and thrust one
finger roughly into her hot passage. Her body jerked but she bore the intrusion
silently, and Brian smiled when he felt the lube he’d instructed she insert
into herself.

When she was facing him again, he cupped her breasts,
kneading them hard, waiting for the rewarding flinch on her face. With thumb
and forefinger, he pinched each nipple as hard as he could. Tears sprang to her
eyes and again pain flashed across her face, but she bore it stoically. Nudging
her thighs apart, he opened the lips of her cunt and stared at her pink flesh,
already wet. When he pressed a nail against her clit she jerked slightly, but
continued to stand in silence, head bowed. And when he shoved two fingers
inside her vagina, her muscles tightened and pulsed around him.

Oh yes, Fallon had not forgotten the pleasures of intense
pain one bit. And he’d barely begun.

Finally satisfied that she had prepared herself in every
aspect as requested, he sat back in his chair.

“Kneel beside me, Slave.”

She did as ordered, balancing on her knees rather than
resting her ass on her heels. He knew the pain of yesterday’s session was the
reason. Of course, the dining room floor was polished hardwood, not too easy on
the limbs, so she’d find no relief, regardless of pose. Inflicting pain and
discomfort was important. Best to let her know right away that nothing had
changed.

Last night he’d made some changes in the house, moving a
number of things to a master suite on the main floor, in the east wing. When
he’d brought Fallon here previously, he had kept her upstairs, wanting her as
far away from the common areas of the house as possible. Even though he’d
seldom permitted her outside the suite, the appearance of isolation was
crucial.

But in order to maintain the situation with Natalie, he had
to keep the two subs on different floors, at opposite ends of the house. Mrs.
Hudson would be able to perform the necessary duties for both without them ever
seeing each other.

He had another reason for using the main-floor suite with
Fallon. The bedroom had a large window that overlooked the front of the house,
the iron fence surrounding it and the street beyond. The window was unbreakable
glass and sealed shut. He wanted her to be able to see freedom just beyond her
reach and know she could never obtain it.

Sex had nothing to do with the way he felt about her at this
moment. The rage at her defection still roiled inside him. He looked forward to
breaking her completely. Turning her into a useless, mindless shell. A lesson
for others who might get the same idea. No one left Brian of their own choice.
Not ever.

“I’m going to feed you,” he told her. “Eat slowly, but eat
everything I give you. You are going to need your strength.”

Mrs. Hudson entered from the kitchen bearing a plate of
scrambled eggs, bacon and toast, and a glass of orange juice. She set them down
in front of him silently then left.

He refilled his cup from a carafe on the table before
scooping a bite of egg into a spoon. Fallon dutifully opened her mouth, chewed
and swallowed. He drew out the process, enjoying the obvious signs of her
discomfort from the hardwood, though her hands remained properly clasped behind
her back. When he’d fed her the entire meal, he pressed the button beneath the
table that would summon Mrs. Hudson.

As always, the woman ignored the naked woman beside him. She
simply cleared the dishes silently then made herself scarce.

Brian stood and pushed his chair back, then wound a hank of
Fallon’s hair around his fist, using it to pull her to her feet. His cock was
already hard at the thought of what was about to transpire.

“Follow me,” he commanded, releasing her hair and walking
from the room.

He led her through the huge foyer and down the short hall to
the downstairs suite. He opened the door, sensing from the look on her face
Fallon wanted to ask him why he wasn’t taking her upstairs, where he’d kept her
before, but she wisely held her questions. In any event, his answer would have
been that it was his decision and she had no right to question anything.

Inside the suite, Brian led her through the small sitting
room and into the huge master. Pointing to the wing chair near the bed, he
said, “Sit.”

She obeyed without a word, keeping her legs far apart the
way he’d always ordered. The knowledge that she hadn’t forgotten her training
sent satisfaction surging through him.

“I will set the alarm for this suite as I did with the one
we used before. Open the door and it will be heard all over the house. Mrs.
Hudson will turn it off when she brings your meals, but don’t think you can
slip out when she’s here. If you try, I’ll have to increase your punishments.”

Stepping to a large armoire, he opened the doors and
surveyed the items inside. Carefully he selected a flogger, a crop and a
cat-o’-nine-tails then placed them in a line on the bed. He added a ball gag
and handcuffs as well as a long length of silken rope.

“Tonight when I return,” he told her, “we will have a
punishment session. If you handle it well, I’ll reward you by fucking every
orifice of your body. You will thank me repeatedly for even taking the time to
administer the punishment. This will
not
be about your pleasure. You
have lost the right to pleasure.” He bent over her, placing his hands on the
arms of the chair. “Nod your head that you understand.”

“Excellent,” he said. He stood up. “I’ve selected your meals
for the day. Mrs. Hudson will serve you as before. Lunch and dinner will be
delivered. Finish every bit of both meals. When I’m satisfied that your
behavior each day is acceptable, perhaps I’ll provide some menial tasks for you
to perform. But today, you will spend the hours reflecting on your sins. And
mentally preparing yourself for tonight’s session. Tell me you understand.”

She wet her lower lip with the tip of her tongue. “Yes,
Master.”

Finally satisfied that she would obey, he turned and left
the suite, pleased that things were well under his control, even pausing a
moment in the hallway to enjoy what he had accomplished. He had Natalie
upstairs and Fallon, the prize, downstairs. Both of them completely at his
mercy, emotionally and sexually.

His lips twisted in a caricature of a smile at the image of
Fallon sitting naked all day in that chair, awaiting whatever he chose to dole
out that evening. Tonight he would begin her intense reprogramming, her
compliance helped along by the special “seasoning” he’d left with Mrs. Hudson
to use in her food, as well as Natalie’s.

Now, however, he had another company to push into bankruptcy
so he could snap it up at a bargain price. It would completely destroy the
owner, who had tried to push back when Brian first approached him about
selling.

All in all, his day was looking very well.

* * * * *

For Cord, the day had a totally different outlook. He hadn’t
slept a wink the night before, missing the presence of Fallon beside him, her
warm body curved up against his. Some nights he’d looped a soft rope around her
wrist, binding her to the headboard, pleased that she so willingly put herself
under his control.

Now he had to convince himself that her submission to him
had no relationship to her subjugation to Willoughby. But it was hard to banish
that conflict from his mind.

Standing in the bathroom, he stared at himself in the
mirror. He barely recognized the reflection he saw. It certainly wasn’t the
successful businessman from Dallas who’d bought his dream ranch in the Hill
Country. Not the confident man seldom thrown off balance by anything. This man
was someone he didn’t know and wasn’t even sure he liked. His jaw was covered
with stubble and his eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles beneath. He looked
like a man who’d been on a twenty-four-hour drunk.

Too bad I wasn’t.

He barely remembered the hours after Fallon had left the day
before. Manic anger mingled with nausea in his stomach and blurred his mind. He
vaguely recalled standing in the bedroom, shocked and sickened, his plans to shower
and shave completely forgotten. He knew he’d passed on dinner—no way could he
swallow a bite of food—and sleep had been an elusive thing.

He had such rage building inside himself he didn’t know what
to do with it. To have exactly the kind of relationship he wanted within his
grasp, and then to lose it… He’d been so sure his life was finally settled—the
ranch, Fallon, a solid future.

With an angry sweep of his hand, he knocked his razor, the
drinking cup and everything else on the vanity onto the floor. Vaguely he heard
the shattering of ceramic, but he didn’t give a damn. He didn’t care if he
broke everything within reach. What did it matter anyway?

More than anything, he wanted to wipe from his mind the
image of Fallon standing naked before him, the nipple rings gone, her ass and
thighs covered with thick red stripes, the redness spreading outward to her
waist and the backs of her knees. The thought that she’d willingly allowed
another man to punish her that way, after everything they’d built together, made
him sick to his stomach.

He dropped to the vanity bench and let his head fall into
his hands. What the fuck was he going to do? He felt as if his heart had been
ripped out. He thought of all the things he’d wanted to say to her, words that
came to him after she’d left. But what good would they have done, anyway? He
could tell by the look in her eyes that Willoughby had his hooks in her mind
again.

He remembered what Jack Torres said about drugs and wondered
if he should have tied her up and taken her for a blood test. Checked to see if
she had some mind-altering substance in her system.

Oh right. Haul a woman bound hand and foot into a doctor’s
office. That would have gone over well.

What he
really
wanted to do was hunt down Brian
Willoughby and choke the life out of him. Only that wouldn’t accomplish
anything except possibly getting himself arrested. Dragging Fallon back to
Comanche Pass Ranch wouldn’t help, either, assuming he could get to her. It had
to be her choice, and he couldn’t be sure she’d make the right one.

The ringing of his cell phone dragged him out of his misery.
Finding it on the nightstand, he pressed the answer bar.

“What?”

“Jeez, boss. You eat something bad this morning?” His
foreman, Jason Hough, sounded startled.

Cord drew in a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

“Bad night, that’s all. What’s up?”

“You still want to go to that auction the other side of
Kerrville today? Check out their stock?”

Jesus. An auction? Yeah, right. Go to an auction when what
he really wanted was to tear someone apart with his bare hands. He wasn’t fit
company for anyone. Not even himself.

“Can’t do it,” he said. “Something came up.”
Yeah, the
destruction of my life.

“They’ve got good stock up for sale, boss,” Jason persisted.
“We could flesh out the herd. Do ourselves some good.”

I won’t do anyone any good today.

“You go,” he said, making a snap decision.

“Me?” The surprise in the man’s voice was obvious.

“Yes. I trust you. Completely. Take one of the hands with
you. Your choice. If you find something to bid on, go ahead. They know I’m good
for a check.”