BeyondAddiction (24 page)

He watched through eyes like steel as she dried her body
completely, making sure to pat all the creases and crevices. When she was
finished, he took a tube from one of the vanity drawers, sat on the bench and
patted his thighs. She knew the signal but wondered what he had in mind. She
hadn’t even attended to her hair yet, and he hated it when she just let it air
dry. But unwilling to provoke him further, she draped herself facedown across
his lap.

“Spread your legs.” His tone now was so conversational, he
might have been discussing a book he’d read.

She did as ordered and in a moment, one of his fingers,
coated with a thick cream, slid into her ass. Whatever it contained soothed her
inner flesh at once. Wiping his finger on her discarded towel, he repeated the
process with her pussy, making sure to rub the ointment in thoroughly. Finally
he lifted her up and set her on her feet.

“Dry your hair the way I like it. Then present yourself to
me in the bedroom.”

Fallon took as long as she could blow-drying her hair. She
used the scented cream he liked on every inch of her. Finally, when she could
delay no longer, she walked into the bedroom on legs that trembled. She
automatically dropped to her knees in front of him and bent low until her
forehead touched the carpet.

“I should leave you like that until morning,” he told her.
“Until you’re so crippled you can’t move. But then you’d be useless to me. Get
up, Slave, and walk to the corner of the room. Open the cabinet.”

Fallon tried to even out her breathing as she approached the
large cabinet, her eyes shifting briefly to the ball gag, the crop and the
cat-o’-nine-tails sitting on the bed. The cabinet looked exactly like the one
in the upstairs suite. Brian had ordered that one built especially for his
needs. If this one was the same, inside she would find a St. Andrew’s cross, a
narrow one.

When she opened the double doors, it stared her in the face.

“Turn and face me,” he ordered.

She did and saw the ball gag in his hand.

“Open your mouth but don’t make a sound. And remember.
This—all of it—is
your
fault. If you hadn’t been stupid enough to let
that cow of a friend drag you out of here, if you hadn’t taken up with someone
else, well… You should talk to some of the businessmen who thought they could
do without me. You have to learn your lesson, Slave.”

He slid the ball into her mouth, pressing it hard on her
tongue until she nearly gagged. When he fastened the straps, he buckled them so
tightly the metal clasp bit into her scalp even through the cushion of her
hair. She had to concentrate very hard not to scream. Between the harsh
fastening of the gag and the soreness in her pussy and ass, she couldn’t seem
to get herself deep enough into subspace. How would she get through whatever
came next?

When he was satisfied the gag was properly in place, he
backed her up to the St. Andrew’s cross and arranged her arms and legs against
the frame. He buckled the manacles around both ankles but surprisingly left one
arm free. She wanted to ask him about that but the gag prevented her from
speaking at all.

Opening a drawer in the dresser, he removed a familiar
purple tube.

Oh god!

Even if she managed to hide herself in subspace, where she
could tolerate almost anything, she didn’t know how she would withstand the
contents of the tube, and what it did to her.

The knot of fear in her belly grew larger and colder.

You came here all on your own. Walked away from the best
thing that ever happened to you because you were sure this was the sick kind of
relationship you wanted. You deserve whatever you get.

She watched as Brian uncapped the purple tube and squeezed
some of the gel onto a finger. She knew all about warming lubricants that stimulated
the vaginal area. The intensity of the stimulation depended on the combination
of ingredients. She had been surprised to learn that some even contained
microscopic amounts of capsaicin, the active component of chili peppers. In the
early stages of their relationship, it had thrilled her, the tiny bite truly
making every nerve in her pussy jump to attention.

But Brian always had to up the stakes. Go one better. He’d
had his own creation blended in one of the labs he owned, a concoction with
some additional ingredients thrown in.

Just a little of it applied to her clit and the edge of her
opening could keep her stimulated and on the edge of orgasm for hours.

The first time, it had been an addictive feeling. But then
he’d taken the game further, applying the gel and ordering her to masturbate in
front of him without climax. When she couldn’t hold back, he would use his
cat-o’-nine-tails on her, the one with tiny metal tips that stung like the bite
of fire ants. Or cane her, laying into her buttocks and thighs until almost
nothing would ease the pain.

Then he would permit her an orgasm, which by then was so
intense she sometimes passed out.

Fallon was sure that he had something similar in mind for
tonight, only much more extreme. His eyes burned with intensity and anger
deepened the lines on his face. There would be no pleasure in this for her
tonight.

As her mind had become clearer, she’d realized he was as
close to being out of control as she’d ever seen him. Self-restraint had always
been his mantra, and he was always careful not to let it slip. Even when he
punished her. But tonight might just be the exception.

I deserve what I get for betraying Cord.

She was jolted back to reality with the sting of the cat on
her skin.

“Damn it,” he shouted. “Pay attention!”

He lifted his arm and the cat bit into her again. She
flinched. Without the protection of subspace, which tonight her mind seemed to
reject, pain was more intense and everything more frightening. She would have
to play the game until she was coherent enough to figure out how to protect her
miserable self.

He inhaled deeply, as if centering himself, and let his
breath out slowly. Tossing the cat aside, he approached her, holding out the
finger with the gel. “You know what this does to you.” His smile was actually
evil. “I cannot wait to see you try to maintain control.” He bit a nipple,
hard, as he applied the gel to her entire cunt area. “You know what happens if
you don’t.”

I put myself here, I can handle this.

In seconds the gel began to do its work, spreading the
stimulating heat through her pussy. This time, instead of welcoming the
arousal, her body fought it, recognizing the presence of great danger.

“Rub yourself,” Brian commanded. His stare glittering with
something feral she couldn’t even name. “Don’t forget. No orgasm until I give
you permission. Or you won’t like the consequences.” His short laugh held no
humor. “Or then again, maybe you will.” He stepped closer. “Get busy, Slave.”

Obediently she moved her free hand to her pussy, touched the
lips, rubbed hesitantly.

“Not like that!” he barked. “You know what I want.”

Fallon closed her eyes and did as ordered, stimulating
herself, rubbing the gel deeper into her skin. The walls of her cunt rippled
and deep inside, the stirrings of climax were struggling to be felt. But it
wasn’t an explosion of pleasure building inside her. It was the automatic
response of nerves to the stimulation of the lube. She couldn’t grit her teeth.
She couldn’t even plead. The ball gag made that impossible.

She didn’t want this. It wasn’t like she remembered. If she
slowed the movement of her fingers she felt the sting of the cat on her skin.
Sometimes the tails landed on her breasts, sometimes on her belly. Sometimes
her thighs. And every so often Brian made sure they landed perfectly on her
nipples, causing a pain so excruciating she tried to cry out.

“Whatever got into you when you left,” he growled, “I’ll
discipline you until it’s gone. Do you understand me?”

The cat struck again.

“Nod your head, Slave.”

She managed to bob her head once, all the while continuing
to masturbate herself under his narrowed gaze. She knew he was aware every time
she came close to the edge of climax. He lifted the hand holding the cat and
delivered increasingly sharper pain. Her breasts and thighs were in agony and
the burning heat of her nipples was almost unbearable. She was caught in a
whirlpool of intense sensations, but the pain was so powerful it eclipsed any
wisp of pleasure.

She tensed every muscle in her body to stave off the impending
climax. There was no sexual pleasure here at all. At least not for her. But the
effect of the lube was so extreme that her body’s response was beyond her
control. The release, when it came, was so shattering, so intense, she shook
from head to toe. The muscles in her pussy clenched over and over. She fought
the manacles restraining her, the buckles biting into her skin. Her nose was
running and tears flowed down her face.

And all the while, Brian applied the cat with cold
precision.

When the orgasm finally subsided she was completely wrung
out—and strangely unsatisfied. She felt the pain but there was no
gratification. All she felt was agony from the lash of the cat. There was no
erotic stimulation that had always been the reward for extreme discipline.

She hung from the cross, trying desperately to breathe
through her nose, the ball gag so tight she couldn’t get any air in through her
mouth.

Brian studied her, the rage still burning in his eyes as he
came close enough to touch her. He reached down and twisted her clit, smiling
when she choked behind the gage.

“I told you not to come.” He gripped her chin tightly. “I
can see our discipline has just begun.”

Despite her scattered mental state, despite the intense pain
overriding everything else, for the first time since she’d met Brian, Fallon
knew real terror. Dread. This had been a huge mistake.

She’d believed coming back would get him out of her system
once and for all. That she could unlearn the preconditioned responses. But the
nearly unbearable pain had cleared the last of the fog from her brain.

She truly was helpless now, completely at his mercy. Trapped
in his web of pain.

* * * * *

Fallon completely lost track of time after that, as the
hours became one long nightmare. He used a variety of implements, from the
flogger to the paddle to the cane. Tight bars pinched her tormented nipples. He
only removed the ball gag when she choked so badly on her saliva he clearly
thought she might die.

At some point Brian removed her from the cross, bent her
over the bench at the foot of the bed, pulled on a condom and thrust into her
roughly. Then he spread her out on the bed and manacled her to the posts, legs
spread wide so he could insert a vibrator in her pussy and a plug in her ass
while he fucked her mouth.

“I wanted my semen surging through your body.” His eyes
glittered, his voice rough. “Now you belong to me again. This time you’ll never
leave. Think about that while you lie here.”

He stalked from the room, locking the door behind him.

Did he mean to leave her like this for the rest of the
night? Oh god. Well, maybe it was no more than she deserved. Not for any
imagined wrong she’d done to Brian but for not trusting Cord to help her. For
ruining the best thing ever to come into her life.

She had no idea how much time passed before Brian returned
to the suite. In silence, he removed the toys and unfastened the cuffs, scooped
everything up and dumped it in a basket to be cleaned.

Fallon bit her lip against the agony as she eased her arms
down to her sides.

“You can count on a repeat tomorrow night,” he told her, his
voice more menacing than she’d ever heard. “And as many more nights as it takes
to satisfy me that you’ve been sufficiently punished.”

He bent down and grabbed her jaw, his fingers digging into
her cruelly.

“No bath tonight. No healing salts. No soothing cream. I
want you to remember every slap and strike and blow. Tonight you may sleep on
the bed, but beginning tomorrow, I think sleeping on the floor would be an
additional reminder of just how much you’ve disappointed me.”

Fallon closed her eyes, trying to ride the agony engulfing
her.

“When I have broken you down to nothing,” he went on, “I’ll
be taking you out in public, with the usual rules of behavior. I’m going to
make sure we’re in places where Cord Jamieson will see you and know that I own
you, body and mind.”

Then he was gone again, but his words rang over and over in
her ears.

Cord…

Nausea gripped her, rising in her throat and threatening to
choke her again. She couldn’t let him see her like this. With Brian. Paraded
like the possession of a man who truly perverted the meaning of D/s.

I can’t let that happen. What I’ve done to Cord is bad
enough. I can’t let this madman rub his face in it.

She managed to roll to her side and curl into the fetal
position. She was in pain everywhere on her body and shivering, whether from
cold or fear she wasn’t sure. Her mouth was incredibly sore both from the ball
gag and from Brian’s cock. She lifted the fingers of one shaky hand to touch
her lips, expecting to feel blood, but no, there was only rawness.

Just lifting her hand was a tremendous effort, so it took a
long time before she could pull herself upright on the bed. Every muscle and
nerve screamed as she swung her legs over the side, and the feel of the coverlet
on her ass, even as soft as the fabric was, felt like a blanket of needles.

She’d wanted answers and she’d certainly gotten them. She’d
wanted the cure and she’d gotten it, but at what cost? This was no longer about
extreme sex, about the titillation of risky edgeplay. Everything he was doing,
everything she’d endured, had to do with and intense punishment meant to
destroy her.