Big is Beautiful (19 page)

"Funny, because he never mentions you." My backbone was coming back. I needed it to spar with Kendra.
Help me stand up for myself,
I prayed with everything I had. I didn't want Kendra to run all over me anymore.

"Because he wasn't supposed to," Kendra answered before I had a chance to use my newly acquired stubbornness.

"What?" I must have had a bewildered expression.

She put her hands up like it was the most obvious thing ever. "You won Red Queen, Big. You! You got invited to the Ball by the captain of the football team. Didn't you ever think it was weird he'd ask you?"

Yeah… but.
I stood up and glared. "You fixed the voting? You caused me to win? But you said you didn't want me to get it."

She threw her head back in a laugh reminiscent of a movie villain. "If I had told you to come to the dance and win, you'd have thought something was wrong. Actually, the original plan was for Matt to bring you, you get Queen by some 'miracle', a.k.a. me, and be disgraced when Mr. Thompson learned you made a counterfeit ticket to sneak in.

I shook my head vehemently. "You gave me your ticket because Matt told you to."

Kendra smirked. "Exactly."

My already wobbly legs almost gave out, and I leaned on the bathroom door to keep from toppling over. I refused to faint in front of her. She'd probably suffocate me in my unconsciousness. "He… he wouldn't do that.
You
did this. You set me up."

"I set you up to fall! Oh, you made it so easy. The plan was for you to win. Mr. Thompson would look at your ticket. You'd tell him you got it from me on Friday, and Ms. Bennett would confirm I'd turned the last ticket in weeks ago. I didn't have any, never did. And even if I did, I wouldn't have given one to a loser like you."

"Where did you get a fake ticket?"

She raised a brow as an answer.

"Rodney." It hit me like a ton of bricks. Her date. Rodney hated me as much as she did.

"He's a computer genius, ya know? He made the ticket I gave you or rather, the fake one
you
made."

"Ms. Bennett won't believe you." I hoped she wouldn't anyway.

"Doesn't matter now. Once I heard you throwing your pathetic stomach up, I had a better plan. It was like God laid you squarely in my lap. You already had the ticket, so who cared, but what if you embarrassed yourself? Wouldn't that be the ultimate prank?"

Tears I hated stung my eyes. It had all been a set up. All of it. "Matt knew? Matt knew the whole time?"

"Of course he knew." Kendra inched closer, clearly enjoying herself on my behalf. "He was in on the first plan to ask you here, and then when I heard you in the restaurant bathroom, all scared for me to tell him… Guess what? I called him immediately. Couldn't let him out of the fun. And didn't he pull off a bang up job of pretending to be upset when I
told
him about your little secret when he got Red King? Oscar-worthy, I'd say."

"No."
No way.

"Yes," she hissed. "He's played you all evening. Dancing with you like you mattered when in reality he was looking at me, watching me, wishing he was with…
me
."

I didn't want to believe it, but I could understand it. Matt had been nervous around me. Kendra had picked him up from school Tuesday, and he had lied about it to me. Also, he'd been way too nice. He'd kissed me…

I started shaking. How could I have been so stupid? "You were all in on this?"

"Yes." She stretched it out, clearly wishing it would sink in my slow brain. "Did you honestly think Matt would fall for you so quickly?"

I hugged myself, not able to hide my fragile, food-deprived emotions.

"Think about it, Big. Did it make any sense for him to kiss you?"

How did she know about that? "I saw you in tutoring." She answered my unasked question. The shadow I had thought was the janitor had been Kendra! "You were all over him. I knew then what a great actor Matt was because… I mean… look at you. Did you honestly think he meant all of those sweet nothings he said to you?"

I couldn't make my mouth move.

Kendra tilted her head to the side and pouted her lip slightly. "Oh, you did. How sweet. Pitiful, but sweet."

"I'm not pitiful." I felt the fire coming back.

She crossed her arms over her ample chest, making her cleavage pop up. "Really? Because from where I'm standing, you kinda are. You got dressed up in such a pretty new dress… extremely large but nice enough. I'll give you that. You got your hair done, and you went to the dance with a guy who doesn't care anything about you. Face it. You're a loser. And you have to accept it."

"So, all of this was to teach me a lesson?"

"Exactly." Kendra's eyes twinkled. One person's pain was the evil cheerleader's pleasure.

"Why do you hate me so much?" A tear slid down my cheek, and I wiped the black mark away. I was sure I looked like an idiot.

"Because you take up too much space." Her words had bite. "Because you are an easy target. Because you get on my nerves. Because you thought you could steal my boyfriend. Because you make it so easy. I won, Big. Me!"

It took everything I had to remain calm. "Thank you." I gritted my teeth into a smile.

Her forehead crinkled. "For what?"

"For showing me how evil you truly are and how much I don't want to be like you no matter how big I am."

I turned to go out the door and she yelled after me. "He pities you, you know? Matt. He thinks of you as a loser and he never wants to speak to you again."

I didn't look back at her, but I forced my shoulders straighter. I would walk out of this bathroom with my head held high if it was the last thing I did. By how weak my legs were, it might be. "That makes two of us. I feel sorry for him too, being stuck with a heartless, vindictive person like you."

Without hesitating, I exited the bathroom before I did something I regretted. This was still a school function, and I had zero tolerance hanging over my head. My mom wouldn't like me getting suspended for getting into a fight, though, given the circumstances, I thought my dad would be on my side.

I needed to get as far away from Kendra as I could. And Matt… I didn't want to see him either. According to Kendra, he'd played me from day one. I felt like such a fool.

My phone was in my clutch and my clutch was at the table with my coat. I didn't want to go the dance to get it and call my mom to come get me. All of those people would look at me, stare, snicker, and joke. There I'd be, Brittany the Pathetic. It wouldn't be long before Kendra made it to Mr. Thompson and told him about the counterfeit ticket. I'd be stripped of my crown in no time. Automatically, my hand went up to the crown and felt the multiple stones. It was so pretty, and stupid me had actually been happy about winning it for a split second.

Alone in the hallway, I took the time to lean on a locker and take a few deep breaths. I needed to get home. Now!

A loud clap echoed behind me. A slow one. Then another. And another. Footsteps walked up toward me, and I tensed up. I had a pretty good idea who it was. Kendra had more than likely gone to hunt down Mr. Thompson. I couldn't fathom that Matt would make fun of me by clapping at my expense. That left one person: Rodney.

Sure enough. I turned to face Rodney. His black shirt was un-tucked slightly and his hair was messy. From where I stood, he smelled like alcohol. Either he'd brought his own, or someone had spiked the punch. I was glad I didn't drink any. I wished he never had.

He was so close I could touch him, and he inched even closer. I backed up and rammed into a water fountain at the end of the lockers. Being alone, in a huge school, with a drunk guy who didn't like me much scared the daylights out of me. "Leave me alone," I ordered.

"I'm not here to do anything. I wouldn't do that." He leaned closer and touched his nose to mine. "You're not my type."

I refused to flinch. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "Then why are you following me?"

He shrugged, ran his nose over my cheek, and rested his forehead on mine. "I just want to remember this image. Big, all crowned, with rivers of black mascara running down her cheeks. It's beautiful." He flicked some of the runny mascara off my face. I wanted to jump out of my skin. If he never touched me again, it would be too soon. Stuck between him and the water fountain on the wall, I couldn't run. I was going to be sick.

Rodney slowly moved to my right and whispered in my ear. "Don't ever get me in trouble again. If you think this is bad, you haven't seen anything yet."

My legs shook at his threat. What had I ever done to these people to tick them off so much?

"Leave her alone!" Matt yelled from the end of the hallway.

Rodney didn't flinch. He rolled his eyes and smiled at me with a big, stomach-churning grin. "Your prince has arrived. Did Kendra tell you about him?"

I nodded slightly.

"Good. Bet she enjoyed that."

"Don't listen to him, Brittany. He's drunk!" Matt ran down the hallway to us.

"Oh, hush, quarterback. She doesn't want to talk to you." Rodney smirked and backed away from me. I could finally breathe, and I took full advantage of it. I kicked him as hard as I could between the legs. Rodney doubled over and I ran away from both of them. I was done with this!

"Brittany!" Matt ran after me. "Stop!"

No way in the world was I stopping. Kendra had her say. Rodney threatened me. I didn't want to wait around for what Matt had in store for me.

"Stop! We need to talk about this!"

We had nothing to talk about.

"Please!"

My short legs kept trucking despite their loud complaints to rest… and eat. In a few seconds, I knew why he was one of the best quarterbacks in the league. Not because he beaned me with a football, but because he ran so fast, he caught me by the arm and spun me around. He grabbed my shoulders firmly and bent down to look at me. I did everything I could not to return the favor. If I looked at him, I'd cry more. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

I was sure there were cameras taping this… or maybe Kendra would jump out at any second to revel in my pain some more. She was good at that.

"Look at me!" he demanded and squeezed my arms tighter. The force of it made my eyes automatically go to his, though I really didn't want them to.

I couldn't figure out his expression. It was a cross between anger, sadness, and fear. "Don't run away like this, Brittany. We need to talk."

"Then talk," I said defiantly. He had nothing to say I didn't already know.

"Did Rodney hurt you?"

"No."
Thank God.

He eased his grip some. "Why did you run in the gym?"

He couldn't really be asking me that. He knew perfectly well why I had to leave. "Save it. Don't act like you don't know exactly why I ran. Don't play innocent. It doesn't suit you."

I jerked to get away, but he held on tighter and forced me to look at him. "No, you save it, Brittany. I don't know what's going on, so stop accusing me of something I know I didn't do. Kendra came over to talk to me. Said you weren't eating. Is that true?"

He couldn't be pulling the hurt and concerned card with me. Not after Kendra had already told the truth! I had to give it to him; he was a committed actor. "As if you didn't know. Kendra said she told you last night, and this whole thing was all some sick joke to
teach me a lesson
, because fat girls aren't supposed to dress up, go to fun things, or become Queen."

"Whoa!" He let me go and held his hands up. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I never had anything going with Kendra."

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. Did he really expect me to be so gullible? "And I'm just supposed to believe that?"

"Yes."

"Why?" I scoffed. He'd better have a good answer.

"Because I care about you…
you
… not her."

He inched closer to me and I started to back away. "Don't you dare come any closer to me. It was all a game. It still is. What are you supposed to do, get me to trust you again and then Kendra can come out and make fun of me for being an idiot for the second time tonight?"

"No, but you are acting a bit like an idiot right now to be honest."

I hesitated before taking another step around the corner. How dare he accuse me of anything! Tears that had been stinging my eyes fell freely down my face. I didn't care. I was too mad to care. "Wow, calling me an idiot. That really shows how much you supposedly care about me."

Matt raked his fingers through his hair and stopped walking toward me. I didn't stop retreating toward the door. "I do care about you, Brittany. I don't know what I've done to make you doubt it."

I didn't care what he said. "Did you enjoy it? Huh! Did you enjoy watching stupid 'Big' getting so excited about the dance? Did you run and tell Kendra that you'd been my first kiss? I bet you both got off on that—"

"Would you quit!" he demanded, closing the gap between us before I could get away. He held on to my elbows to keep me from moving. "I have never laughed at you. Ever. And frankly, it hurts that you'd think I would. I thought you knew me better than that. I like you, Brittany. And I thought you felt the same way about me."

I couldn't believe him. I didn't like myself, why would someone else?

I didn't like myself
.

The realization caught me off guard. How long had I thought so little about me? "You worked this all out with Kendra," I said with much less heat in my voice. I was beyond tired of this conversation and my body felt so weak. I should have eaten something today and not cared so much about looking nice for Matt. A lot of good that did me.

"I didn't set you up."

He sounded convincing. "If you didn't know something was up, why were you so cryptic in the car?"

His palms clasped around my cheeks and he wiped my tears away with his thumbs. It was a surprisingly tender move, a lot easier than Rodney had been.

There was something in his eyes. Something I honestly couldn't stop looking at. He seemed so genuine and sorry for all that had happened to me. Would he have looked at me like that if he had been working with Kendra?