Big is Beautiful (17 page)

I forgot all about Kendra's threat.

I forgot about my dress having to be a size eighteen.

I forgot about how different we were.

I saw Matt as a guy who liked me, and I saw myself as a girl who could fall in love at any minute.

Not too shabby for a first date.

I had to remind myself to make my feet move because they didn't want to. The nervous excitement on his face made me unable to comprehend what in the world I was supposed to do to make my legs move.

A bright flash brought me back to reality. I jumped and automatically put my hands over my eyes. "There. To send your father," my mom said as she looked at the picture on the camera's digital screen.

"Can I have one that I actually know is coming?" I asked as my feet finally, shakingly moved down the stairs.

"Sure." She grinned ear to ear. "Stand next to Matt."

Like he'd done this all his life, he moved to the wooden banister and put his arm around me. This was my first dance, not his. Even with me in my heels, he was still about half a foot taller than me. We would look a bit silly dancing, but that was okay.

"Smile," my mom said, putting us in our places on the camera. The light flashed and I was blinded again. "One more," she sang.

"Mom, we need to go or we'll never get there." I left my post and went to the hangers beside the door to get my white coat. The weatherman said it would be about forty degrees tonight.

"Is there any particular time I need to have Brittany back by?" Matt asked my mom. Was he really asking that? No one could be that much of a gentleman.

Her face flushed, like she hadn't even thought of it. Maybe she hadn't. "Um… I don't know. What time is the dance over?"

"Usually around eleven or twelve. Depending on how good it is."

"Okay. Twelve will be fine."

A twelve o'clock curfew? My mom must have been as desperate for me to have a date as I was, or she was trying not to embarrass me. Either way, I appreciated it.

"Twelve it is. Thank you, ma'am." He nodded and patted my mom on the shoulder. You could tell that she'd already fallen for him. Who wouldn't? Besides my dad, but he wasn't there, was he?

"You're very welcome. Britt, can I talk to you a second before you go?"

I walked toward her, and Matt, being a gentleman, walked to the door with his back to us. My mom took me into the little foyer that led to the living room and whispered. "I haven't talked to you about this before, but be careful. Matt seems like a nice guy, but you have to keep your guard up."

"Up for what?"

She looked at me like I had three heads. "Sex, darlin'. Sex. Don't get into anything tonight you will regret tomorrow."

I nearly choked on my tongue. "Sex…" I said louder than I meant, and I could have sworn I saw Matt flinch from the corner of my eye. "Sex," I whispered lower in her ear. "Isn't it a bit too late to have this talk?"

She backed up and her face turned a weird shade of pale. "Too late?"

I paused for a second, trying to figure her reaction out. Then, it hit me, "No! No, Mom! It's not
too late
for that. I haven't even thought about
that
." Yeah, I had, but she didn't need to know it.

"You might not, but I can bet you he has."

Of all the times… "Can we talk about this later? I need to go."

"Fine," she conceded. "But you be careful… And I mean that in every sense of the word."

Of all the horrible times to have
the talk
. "Duly noted. Can I go now?"

She hesitated then nodded.

"Take care of her," my mom called behind me when I reached Matt at the door. I cringed and wanted to get in his truck as quickly as possible.

"I will. I promise."

I believed him.

****

My mom stood on the front door and waved as we walked to his truck. "Got it back yesterday," he answered my unasked question. Good thing his sister didn't have to cart him to the dance. It might be weird to have her on our date, sitting there, bored to tears…

The thought made me snicker, and his dimple formed when he looked at me. "Something funny?"

I shook my head. My own private joke.

Thankfully, he had a truck with step-ups on the side. It wasn't too difficult to get in, though I began wishing my corset was a little looser. His truck was quite manly. It was a shiny black four door with rims that didn't look factory — not that I knew much about rims. All in all, it was a very nice truck, and I was beyond stoked to be going to the dance in it… who was I kidding? I'd be stoked to go to the dance in a Pinto.

Matt helped me in, closed the door, and walked around the truck to get to his side.

"Lord, give me strength, calm my nerves, and make this a night I'll never forget… in a good way." I mumbled the prayer just as Matt reached his side of the truck. He opened the door and smiled at me, making my toes feel all funny. Yup, I was going to enjoy this.

There wasn't a lot of talking the first few minutes we were together.

"I'm a little nervous," he admitted much to my surprise. I didn't think he ever got nervous.

I, on the other hand, got nervous all the time. "Me too. I've never been to a school dance before."

"You'll do fine," he said compassionately. "You'll fit right in. You look…"

I held my breath, which wasn't hard in my current clothing option. I expected to hear the typical "nice," "cleaned-up well," "lovely."

"Beautiful."

Hold the phone! Everything stopped and the world became different. There was no way I heard that right. "I'm… what?" My ears strained to hear and my brain tossed around all other words that rhymed with beautiful. I looked… playful? Pleasant? Okay, none of those worked, but it was the only scenario that made sense. I mean… I wasn't dirt ugly, but beautiful?

As the streetlights lit up his face, I saw his cheeks redden. Maybe I had heard him wrong, and he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Sigh.

"Beautiful," he stuttered a little. "I said you were beautiful, and I can't for the life of me understand why you don't see it."

I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out. I couldn't even form a sentence. It meant a lot to me for Matt to think of me like that.

"I mean it. I've thought so since the first day I saw you."

"Monday?"

He laughed. "I've seen you before then. Around school. In the cafeteria at times. You always had something special about you I couldn't place. And now, in this dress… wow."

Wow, indeed. Now it was my time to blush. "Thanks. Thank you. You look very nice yourself."

Nice? I said he looked nice? Handsome would have probably been a more appropriate word.

"Thanks." He gave a little laugh.

I saw the lights of the school, and I felt the butterflies instantly start fluttering faster in my stomach.

Matt pulled into the parking lot and had to park in the back next to the fence. Much to my dismay, the place was packed. He shut off the ignition and stared out into the night like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Truthfully, he was starting to worry me. He'd just said I was beautiful. Was he starting to regret it?

"Brittany, I just want you to know… no matter what happens tonight with Queen or whatever… just know that I'm here with you because I want to be, not because someone made me. Because I like spending time with you."

Well, that was cryptic. Did he know about Kendra's threat to out my not eating if I won Red Queen? Or was there something more? Why would he think I thought he was with me because someone made him?

With no way out, I was starting to get a bad feeling about this. "I like spending time with you too," I managed to say between questions swirling in my mind.

He took a deep breath and smiled in my direction. It calmed my nerves a bit. "Ready?"

No.
"As I'll ever be."

I couldn't wait to see what it looked like inside the school gym. I imagined a lot of red hearts and streamers, being a Valentine's Day Red Ball and all.

He stopped as he opened his door. "I forgot." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box with a ribbon on top. "I forgot to give you this."

"Oh." I gasped. Pretty things tended to come in small boxes.

"I thought you might like it. I know it's not Valentine's Day technically, but you are my date and I thought it would be nice to get you something."

"You did?"

"Okay, it was my mom's idea, but I picked it out." He handed the box to me. My hands shook when I took it. I unwrapped the bow and pulled the lid off.

Inside was a cute silver bracelet with a book charm on it. On the other side were my initials. "It's because we met over a book."

"A math book," I teased.

"A book nonetheless." He smiled but had a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "And your initials… I didn't know if you'd like it because… you know."

I knew. B.I.G… my initials were how Kendra mocked me, but forget about her. It was my name and I needed to learn to be proud of it.

"I love it. Thank you." It was the honest truth.

The tension in his body eased a little. "Want me to help you put it on?" He took the bracelet from the box and motioned for me to give him my wrist.

Chill bumps formed on my skin where his hands and the cool metal touched. When he got the clasp put together, he slid the charm down where it belonged on my wrist and made sure it was straight. "There."

"I love it." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I did so love that little spot between his cheek and lips. "You didn't have to get me anything, or hey, even bring me here to be honest."

"Yes, I did." He didn't look at me when he opened the door and got out. In the few seconds I had to myself, I admired the bracelet. It really was pretty. Without warning, my mind switched back to Kendra and her threat. I had to leave before Red Queen was announced or she'd tell Matt all about my ill-advised dieting habits. He couldn't know. No one could.

Up until a few second ago, I was happy, and I had every reason in the world to be. Matt liked me. I liked him. I was at the Red Ball in a gorgeous dress that made me look like I had curves, and was not just a round blob. Everything was going beyond well.

So why did I feel so uneasy?

Chapter Fifteen

The sound of the door opening made me flinch, and he contorted his lips. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's me. I'm jumpy. Nervous."

He helped me out and once my high heels hit the pavement, it became all the more real.

He took my hand in his. "We'll be okay."

I pulled my coat tighter and enjoyed walking hand in hand with him. I also enjoyed the stares we were getting from other people. Everyone knew we were coming together but seeing it in Technicolor was much different.

The decorations spilled out on the sidewalk in front of the gym. Red, pink, white, and black streamers were wrapped from the lights above the door out like spider legs to the poles holding up the porch. Not all of the decorations were tacky. The ticket table was beautiful: silver and the deepest purple, nearly black fabric draped on top of it. Dark red roses sat in a vase on the table with a sign that said
One Dollar
. Matt motioned at it and raised a brow.

I shook my head no and wrinkled my nose. I didn't want to be responsible for a flower the rest of the night. Plus, they sort of made me sneeze.

"Hello, Matt." The ticket taker, Ms. Bennett, sounded cheerful. Her eyes lit up brighter when she saw me by Matt's side. "Brittany! It's good to see you both… together."

"Good to see you too." I reached into my black clutch to get my ticket. "Didn't know you were chaperoning."

"All faculty has to chaperone at least one dance. Prom is always overrated and homecoming is a very long day. I like the Red Ball. It's…" She looked from me to Matt. "Romantic."

Romantic was a good word. She went on, "Please fill out these ballots for Red King and Queen." She handed us a pencil and leaned closer to me. "I have a feeling you have a shot at it."

"I don't think so," I whispered and tried to decide who to put on the ballet. Finally, I put down Jillian's name. If anyone deserved to be Red Queen, it was her.

Matt finished filling out his ballot and handed it to Ms. Bennett. "Thanks. For everything."

I sensed a double meaning there.

"Anytime." She winked, and I had to question what in the world was going on. It seemed like everyone was speaking some weird code I couldn't decipher.

Ms. Bennett barely glanced at my ticket and showed us the door. "Have fun! Don't get in any trouble."

"Never," Matt teased. He grabbed my hand, waved at Ms. Bennett, and led me inside.

If I thought the outside was decorated, it was nothing compared to the inside. The gym was dimly lit with red, pink, and purple spotlights moving throughout the space. The same streamers that were outside started in the center of the room and went out like a tent to each side of the basketball court. It was gorgeous. Round tables were set up around a rather large, make shift dance floor, tiled like a black and white chess board. The red lights hitting it set just the right mood for a 'Red Ball,' and I felt like I had been transported into a fairy tale wonderland. It seemed like people should be wearing elaborate costumes and masks like a masquerade.

Everyone had on red in some form or another. I had no idea 'red' could mean so many shades. I didn't think any two people had on the same shade. I saw bright red, dull red, Rio red, blood red… I considered my dress dark cherry red. Most of the guys had on black suits with red ties or black suits with red shirts and no ties. A rare few wore white suits. And one guy had on a white suit with red pinstripes. It was actually pretty sweet.

"Do you want to dance or sit awhile?" Matt asked as he rubbed his fingers between mine. I had forgotten he was hanging on to my hand, but his light caresses made me feel things I had never felt before. My senses were on overload from the music, decorations, lights, people, Matt. It was amazing!

Dance or sit? I didn't know which was appropriate for a school dance. A few couples danced on the black and white checkerboard dance floor. Several sat at the round tables decorated like the one outside scattered around the gym.