Big Sex Little Death: A Memoir (37 page)

When I got to the Santa Cruz apartment we were subletting, there was a crayon note on the door, from one of the assistants in the Community Studies Department:

Sad News/Glad News! Murray S. has had a heart attack and will NOT be returning to campus anytime soon. Class is ON. See you next Monday — bring everything.

Aretha came running out of the apartment with Jon, who’d arrived earlier in a separate truck. She had a red plastic bottle of soap bubbles in her hands, shouting, “Look at this, Mommy. Look!” She blew a bubble the size of my head. A pair of lungs to be proud of.

It really was ten degrees warmer in Santa Cruz. I looked up at Jon. “You would not believe what happened on the way down here — twice. You’re going to forget all about carrying that piano.”

“Even the water’s softer here,” he said, holding up a pile of sheets. “And there’s a surfboard in the garage.”

“Do you have to drive back the city tonight?” I asked. I felt like I could sit on this stoop for a while, maybe until “Porno 101” began on Monday.

A white goose, don’t ask me from where, waddled across the front lawn ten feet in front of me. Every animal familiar was gre
eting me. I was Saint Francis, and they were all paying me a little hello.

“Yeah, I’m working tonight,” he said, standing in a flurry of Aretha’s bubble making. “I’ll drive back tomorrow. And then —”

“Yes, then!” I said, opening my arms wide to the sky for a mountain lion ap
pearance, a bear, some coyote scat.

Jon said, “Yes, then, I think, we can start the rest of our lives.”

One of Aretha’s iridescent soap bubbles floated toward my face. I stuck my finger in it. The surface tension was just strong enough that it went all the way around my finger and never popped.

Acknowledgments

I
’d like to thank the following family, friends, and colleagues who contributed so much to this book with their insight, memories, and support: Kim Anno, Jon Bailiff, Larry Blood, Larry Bradshaw, Aretha Bright, Phyllis Christopher, Honey Lee Cottrell, Greta Christina, Greg Day, John Everett, Donna Galassi, Ariel Gore, Judy Grahn, Andy Griffin and Jul
ia Wiley, Rebecca Hall, Steve Harsin, Nan Kinney, Michael Letwin and the Letwin family, Joel Levine, Jessica Lockhart, Chris Mark, Lise Menn and family, Caitlin Morgan, Mariette Pathy Allan, Jill Posener, Shar Rednour, Nora Reichard, Gayle Rubin, Cory Silverberg, Jane Slaughter, Brooke Warner, Barbara Winslow, Jill Wolfson, and my agents Jo-Lynne Worley and Joanie Shoemaker.

Notes

The Red Tide
and
On Our Backs
, respectively, were significant publications with hundreds of people involved over many years, dozens of whom were my close friends and colleagues.

For my narrative purposes, I have changed the names of many people who never became public figures. I also made composite characters out of individuals who each deserve their own special edition. Time was greatly compressed in this story, and snapshots have been taken of long campaigns. I hope many of the figures I remember from these years will add their own memoirs and biographies to our history.

The histories of
The Red Tide
, and
On Our Backs
are not well documented.

For research purposes, the best place to look at
The Red Tide
is an Internet archive of all the back issues and relevant documents, which Michael Letwin has curated.

For
On Our Backs
, there are university libraries, such as Brown University, that have a complete collection of back issues. There is the book
Nothing But the Girl
, the photographic homage to
OOB
photographers edited by Jill Posener and myself. Jill’s and my notes and audiotape interviews with all the
OOB
photographers are archived at the San Francisco Lesbian and Gay History Project. Debi Sundahl and Nan Kinney’s video company,
Fatale Video
, made several erotic videos in the eighties and nineties that document the
On Our Backs
heyday, including live documentaries of the first lesbian burl
esque shows.

Photo Credits

Unless otherwise noted, photos are by author and her family.

Title Page:
Susie, “Waiting for Aretha,” 1990. Photo by
Honey Lee Cottrell
.

Baby Teeth
: Susie and her father, Bill Bright. Berkeley, CA, 1960.

India
: Susie’s parents, Bill and Elizabeth. Lal Bagh, Bangalore, India, 1956. Photo by Satyanarayana Rao.

The Irish Side
: Susie’s mother, Elizabeth Halloran, the eldest daughter, and her siblings. St. Paul, MN. 1935.

Way Out West
: Susie’s grandfather, Oliver Bright, Oxnard, CA, 1958.

D – I – V – O – R – C – E
: Susie’s parents, Bill and Elizabeth, during his army tour. Florence, Italy, 1953.

Runs Through It
: Elizabeth Bright’s fingertips in photocopier, self-portrait. Minneapolis. MN, 1990.

Bleeding
: Susie’s First Communion. Walnut Creek, CA. 1965.

The Time Has Come, the Walrus Said
: Girl Scout. Sierra Madre, CA, 1968.

The Bunny Trip
: Cover of University High School
Warrior
newspaper. Los Angeles, CA 1973. Jane Fonda and Senator Robert Dornan both came on campus to speak “for” and “against” the war in Vietnam.
The Red Tide
invited Fonda, the school administration countered with Dornan.

The Churning Mist
: Red Tide graffiti, University High School, Los Angeles, CA, 1970. Photo by Joel Levine.

Swim Banquet
:
The
Red Tide
“List of Demands.” University High School, Los Angeles, CA, 1973.

George Putnam’s Show
: Susie and Michael Letwin speaking to press at L.A. Board of Education at a rally to “Protest Police Sweeps, Get Cops Off Campus.” Los Angeles, CA, December 11, 1974. Photo by Joel Levine.

Sex Education
: Susie and Danielle on first acid trip, “Cal Jam 1” rock concert. Ontario, CA, 1974.

You Are Now a Cadre
: Susie at Nixon Impeachment demonstration. MacArthur Park, Los Angeles, CA, 1974. Photo by Joel Levine.

Patty Hearst
: Bullet-hole at the scene of the LAPD SWAT squad shootout with the Symbionese Liberation Army in Compton, CA. The surrounding quiet working class neighborhood was turned into a battle zone.
The Red Tide
covered the story from the neighbors’ point of view. Photo by Joel Levine.

Dago Armour’s Apartment
: Misty’s corral, the informal gathering place for Beverly Glen teenagers in the early 1970s, Los Angeles, CA.

New Branch Organizer
:
Red Tide
-inspired Graffiti, “Don’t Fergit to S.C.O.R.E.,” (Student Crazies Rapidly Organizing Everywhere), University High School, Los Angeles, CA, 1971. Photo by Joel Levine.

The Master Freight Agreement
: Tattered flag, Lynwood, CA, 1975.

Greyhound to Detroit via Amarillo
: Susie asleep on bus to Delano, CA, 1974. Photo by Joel Levine.

The Aorta
:
Red Tide
march to support the innocence and release of Angola State Prison’s seventeen-year-old inmate, Gary Tyler, who was sentenced to life under controversial circumstances after a white boy was shot at a Klan anti-busing demonstration in Louisiana. Tyler is still serving his sentence today. Detroit, MI, 1975.

Commie Camp
: Susie at work in IS newspaper production office. Detroit, MI, 1975.

Relocation
: Taking a spin in John Everett’s Grand-dad’s car, Louisville, KY, 1976. Photo by
John Everett
.

The Perfume Counter
: Susie on “joy ride,” Louisville, KY, 1976. Photo by
John Everett
.

Expulsion
: Susie the night before I.S. expulsion convention, at Christina Bergmark’s apartment, Louisville, KY, 1976. Photo by
John Everett
.

School Days
: Susie her junior year, University of California at Santa Cruz. 1979.

How I Got Introduced to On Our Backs
: Susie posing with labyris and “Castration Squad” t-shirt,
On Our Backs
office. San Francisco, CA, 1986. Photo by
Jill Posener
.

The Feminist Vibrator Store
: Susie at National Leather Association Conference. Seattle, WA, 1985. Photo by Cookie Hunt.

Baby Showers
: Laurie “Raven” Parker and Mary “Cassie” Gottschalk, modeling for
On Our Backs
. San Francisco, CA, 1985. They were both legendary strippers at the O’Farrell Theater who decided to start a “women-client-only” escort business. Photo by
Honey Lee Cottrell
.

Models Crying
: Susie in front of graffiti at Van Ness Boulevard and 15th Street. San Francisco, CA, 1984. Photo by
Honey Lee Cottrell
.

Les Belles Dames Sans Merci
: Susie and Caitlin Morgan in promotional still from their play “Knife Paper Scissors.” San Francisco, CA, 1983. Photo by
Honey Lee Cottrell
.

The Daddies
: Susie, Scott Worley, and Tede Matthews in front of the Castro Theater during the gay film festival; San Francisco, CA, 1983. Photo by
Greg Day
.

Motherhood
: Aretha and Susie. San Francisco, CA, 1991. Photo by
Honey Lee Cottrell
.

Rotation
: Jon Bailiff and Susie. San Francisco Art Institute, CA, 1993. Photo by
Jill Posener
.

Aging Badly
: “Editor in Chief.”
On Our Backs
shot a satirical pictorial for our fifth anniversary issue, “A Day in the Life of On Our Backs.” San Francisco, CA, 1989. Photo by
Phyllis Christopher
.

When I Came Back From My Honeymoon
: Susie at Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, CA. Photo by
Honey Lee Cottrell
.

Santa Cruz
: Aretha Bright’s illustrated lunch bag for kindergarten, Santa Cruz, CA, 1995. Illustration by
Jon Bailiff
.