BikersLibrarian (11 page)

“Unless we can tip his hand, force him to make a move.”

“I can see the wheels of your mind turning and it frightens
me. This isn’t a novel, Hil.”
If you get too close they’ll put you down. I
can’t let that happen.

“I know that. Doesn’t mean thinking out of the box is an
awful thing.” She blew a curl away from her face.

Juliette instantly regretted the heated exchange. “I don’t
want to fight with you. I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”

“It’s okay. We’re all on edge. I’d never go off half-cocked.
If I come up with something decent, I’ll run it by you,” Hil promised.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s talk about why you need to get
emergency leave from work and go be with your man.” A determined expression
crossed her face.

Juliette’s jaw dropped open. “What?”

“Girl, this situation is starting to get scary. When he gets
back, laying low would be the best thing you could do.”

“No. I’m not going to hide away.” Juliette scowled.

“You don’t want to play hooky with your sexy biker?” Hilary
asked in a singsong voice that dissipated the tension.

Juliette laughed. “Of course I do. That’s not the issue.”

“Why? Because you think you have to make some stand? “Hilary
rolled her eyes. “This isn’t the Wild Wild West, girl. Peter is insane in the
membrane.” She tapped her head. “He’s trying to wear you down. I’m concerned it
might be working. You’ve got bags under your eyes for days. I know a cover-up
job with concealer when I see it.”

Fuck, why are you always so observant, Hilary?
“Can
you blame me for losing sleep? I see the situation ramping up, Hil. I’m not
ignorant.”

“I never said you were.”

“No, but you think I’m not taking this seriously enough. I’m
trying to stay sane. I can’t become a shut-in, afraid to do anything. I have to
function.” Juliette rubbed the condensation on her cup. Guilt crept up in her
chest, spreading and polluting her psyche.
Tell her.
“You girls have no
clue how fucked-up I was when that ended. For weeks, months even, I constantly
looked over my shoulder, checked my locks and waited for him to return. He’s
not the type of man you walk away from without dire consequences. I never went
into detail about his kink.” Juliette held up her hand, stopping the
tongue-lashing she knew Hilary wanted to give. “And I won’t now. All you need
to know is it put me in a dark, terrified space. I don’t want to go anywhere
near that place again. What you see as rebellion is a woman clinging to her
independence. I’m not reckless. I’m weighing the risks.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Hilary whispered.

“You guys already looked at me like I’d become a lifetime
movie, and to be honest I felt like an idiot and you guys were already in mama
mode. Hell you still are.” She snickered.

A wounded expression crossed Hilary’s face. “We care about
you.”

“I know, and I’m grateful. I couldn’t have come out of that
situation stronger without you. But it’s time for the baby bird to leave the
nest. My wing is mended and I have to try to fly solo.” Their gazes locked. “You
understand.”

“You’ve always been the meekest one, Jul, it’s hard to
ignore a lifetime of behavior. I think we all felt guilty for not seeing this.
I mean he was your first serious relationship. We should’ve read him the riot
act and been all up in his shit. You were always so focused on school and your
career it was like you never saw guys. ” Hilary’s voice distorted. “So when you
met him at the library and he pursued you, we were all overjoyed thinking you
had landed such a great catch. I remember being envious of you watching him
wine and dine you. It kills me knowing I felt that way while you were going
through hell.”

“Oh honey,” Juliette reached across and grasped her hand.
“Is this why you’re so protective now?”

Hilary’s eyes were glossy as she sniffed. “Yes.”

“Don’t feel that way. I know deep down you were happy for
me. We all feel twinges of the green-eyed monster from time to time. It’s what
we do with the emotion that mattered. No one knew. Peter’s a master at hiding
it. Trust me, I got off lucky.”

Hilary pulled her hand away and wiped at her eyes. “Damn you
for being so understanding. I know I’ve been a borderline bitch lately. I’m
sorry for that. I’m not myself.”

“This divorce is taking a lot out of you. We know that.”

“It’s so damn hard finding out the fairytale you grew up
wanting was nothing more than a prettily packaged lie.” Hilary took a deep
breath. ”Especially when they want to pull you apart like a wishbone because
they both want you to pick a side.”

“I still can’t believe it. They always seemed so happy,”
Juliette whispered, happy to talk about something else.

“I know. Makes you wonder if there is such a thing as true
love anymore.” The dejection in Hilary’s voice made her heart ache. She’d never
had a father figure, but she could imagine finding out your father’s reputation
was a fabrication would be a huge blow.

“I don’t know about true love. This constant state of bliss
you stumble upon accidentally is hard to wrap my head around. A connection
deeper than any you’ve had with someone else feels like an accurate
description. You find that person whose vibes resonate with your own and
suddenly you’re discovering new aspects of yourself and compromising to the
point of breaking. Because you know if you lose this link you’ll never find it
again.” Toying with the black necklaces that dangled around her collarbone,
Juliette digested the words she’d spoken aloud. She meant them all.
When did
we get so deep?

Hilary gasped. “You love him. The look on your face just
now, coupled with your eloquent speech…this is more than like.”

“Oh my god, you’re right.” Chills raced down her spine. The
pieces all came together and clicked with a force that would’ve knocked her on
her ass if she hadn’t been sitting.

“You didn’t know,” Hilary said.

Juliette tilted her head and peered up at her friend from
beneath lowered lashes. “I think deep down I did. I’m not the type of woman to
bend so far without reason.”

“It’s crazy how the two of you are weathering all this.
Shooter struck me as the leaving type.” Hil looked apologetic.

“I would’ve agreed with you that first night, but the truth
is, he gave me my life back. Before him, I was going through the motions,
afraid to actually put myself out there. The club was me dipping a toe into the
pool. Meeting Shooter forced me into sink-or-swim mode. He sees the world in a
completely different light, a simplistic view that makes happiness easy. It
takes away all the pressures society places on you.”

“Wow. Not your typical biker?” Hil inclined her head.

“I don’t know. Maybe they’re misunderstood.” Juliette
shrugged.

“Whatever it is, I’m grateful. Even with Peter looming in
the wings, this is the happiest I’ve seen you.”

Juliette waited, running over the time they’d spent
together. It’d happened fast and unexpectedly, like lighting striking the sand,
forming a one-of-a-kind, beautifully twisted glass creation that would never be
duplicated.

“God, what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Her throat
tightened and her head spun.

“I’m pretty sure he does. He looks at you like you’re the
only woman in existence.” Hil rested a hand on her shoulder.

Running a hand through her hair, Juliette smoothed down
imagined stray pieces and took a deep breath. “What do I do if this falls
through? I’ve never been so wrapped up in a man. Not even Peter.”

“Love means taking risks. Even if it starts out well, people
change and grow in different directions. Look at my parents. Forty-some years
of marriage and he up and leaves her for his floozy secretary who’s half his
age.” Hil shook her head. “We can’t know what the future holds. We can only
live in the now.”

Amazing how three words could fuck up your frame of mind.
What she had with Peter hadn’t been love, not really. Logically she knew it,
but her heart and her body associated pain and heartache with the
L
word. It was a potent thing to fend off.

“I allowed myself to think what happened wouldn’t affect me
anymore, but it creeps up and pops out like a jack in the box at the most
unexpected times.” Self-deprecating laughter escaped her lips as she accepted
her emotions, pieced herself back together and calmed.

“We all have triggers like that. Look at me. I’m afraid to
trust a man enough to date him for an entirely different reason. I was an adult
when my parents divorced, but it still dicked with my head.” Hil shrugged.

“Thank you for never letting me feel completely alone.”
Juliette leaned in and hugged her. “Now I should probably be getting back.”

“Are you going to call Shooter and take some time off?”

Stepping away from the tree onto the sidewalk, they began
the walk to the library.

Juliette smoothed down her hair and stepped from the car.
Today she planned on coming clean with her mother about Shooter. She would hit
the roof, but too much time had already passed. After dodging her questions
about
Daniel
for weeks, her mom was running out of patience. She walked
up to the front door and used her keys to let herself in.

“Mom!” She inhaled the familiar smell of her favorite dish,
chicken dumplings.

“In the kitchen, honey.”

Locking the door behind her, she walked into the kitchen and
smiled. Her mother was timeless. Five-foot-six with kind, almond-shaped brown
eyes and an angular bob, the years had been good to her.

“Hey, baby.” She placed the lid on the pot and turned to her
with open arms. Bending down, Juliette hugged her mother tight, inhaling the
floral perfume she’d associated with her since childhood.

“Hi, Mom.”

“It’s good to see you, stranger. Danielmust be
keeping you mighty busy.”

“I know. I’m sorry, but this smells good!” Juliette made a
display of inhaling the aroma of the food.

“Uh huh.” Her mother shook her index finger back and forth.
“Don’t try that weak distraction method. What’s been going on with you and the
mystery man?” She narrowed her eyes. “Why haven’t I met him yet?”

“I’d hoped to build up to this,” Juliette said wryly.

“Just spit it out. You’ve held on to your secrets long
enough. I tried to mind my own business but I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“I know. Thank you for giving me space.”

“Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Let’s take
this conversation to the couch.”

She followed her mom to the brown suede sofa. Settling on
the couch, they turned to face each other.

What could she say about Shooter that wouldn’t send her
mother into heart palpitations? “Daniel. Well he’s not like anyone we’ve ever
known before. First off, he goes by the name Shooter. A name he got from his
time spent in the Marine Corps. He rides a motorcycle, and he co-owns a few
businesses with friends that do fairly well. He’s the cliché. Tall, dark and
extremely handsome.”

“I can tell by the look in your eyes and the emotions in
your voice you care a great deal already. What I want to know is why you’ve
kept him from me for so long.”

“He and his motorcycle enthusiast friends have a…group.”

“A group? Are you trying to tell me he’s in a motorcycle
gang?”

“No, it’s a club.”

“Juliette, honey what are you thinking?” The disappointed
tone cut her deep. “This isn’t you.”

“Mom, you’re not even giving him a chance.”

“I can’t help but believe you knew I wouldn’t approve.
That’s why you kept it from me for so long. Is he dangerous?”

The weary look in her mother’s eyes twisted her guts into
tangled yarn. If she worried about that now, seeing him in the flesh would only
exacerbate the feeling.

“Not to me.”

“That wasn’t what I asked you.” The stern tone stiffened
Juliette’s spine. She knew a ‘don’t test me’ voice when she heard it. “I don’t
like this, Juliette. After months of not dating, this is the man you get
involved with? It’s not you.” Her mother shook her head. “Is this really the
type of man you should be getting involved with? You’re too old to be thinking
with your lady parts.”

“Mom, it’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it is because the picture you painted
isn’t a pretty one.”

“I knew you’d be like this.” Juliette shook her head. “This
is why I kept it to myself. He’s a warrior, an honorable man who lives by his
own code. Unhampered by the rules of society, he protects those he cares about
and lives simply.” Pride swelled in her chest. The thought made her insides
quiver and her heart beat faster. A warm glow of happiness surrounded her,
easing the sting of her mother’s negative response.

Her mother crossed her arms and frowned.

“Is that a romantic way of saying he’s flat broke but you
plan on sticking with him anyway?”

Juliette rolled her eyes, biting her tongue to prevent a
blowout between them. Their minds just didn’t work the same about some things.
“No, Mom.”

“What? I want to make sure he can take care of you.”

“One, we’re dating not married and two, I take care of
myself just fine, thank you.”

“I know that, honey. But you shouldn’t have to do everything
by yourself all the time.”

They were back to the same played-out argument. Her mother
seemed to think having a man would fix everything. Juliette disagreed. She had
to be able to know she could make it on her own before she threw in with
someone else. Or she’d always wonder about why she was with them, and hesitate
and stay when she should walk away.

“I prefer it that way, actually.”

Her mother sighed. “You’re getting older and by now I’m sure
you’ve figured out love is fleeting. What matters is security, the kind that
ensures your world’s not going to come crashing down about your ears at any
moment. You had that with Peter.”

The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Her mother
hadn’t mentioned him since Juliette explained the breakup had been messy,
one-sided and told her she didn’t want to talk about it. “He was never what he
portrayed himself to be.”

“No man is. He had power and wealth. Being easy on the eyes
was an additional bonus. You’d be set for the rest of your life.”

“And completely miserable. Why are you bringing him up now
after all this time?” Mentally holding her breath, she waited for an answer.

“I always assumed you were pining for him.” She shrugged.
“Usually when someone doesn’t want to talk about a situation it’s because their
heart is still in it.”

“Trust me, that’s not the case at all.” Juliette frowned.

“It’s never too late to reconnect. Maybe what you need is
closure. Don’t use this new man as a distraction. ”

“I lost his number on purpose, Mother. When I said I’d be
miserable with him, it wasn’t the dramatic ramblings of a girl who had her
heart broken by her first love. Peter’s bad news with a capital
B
. He
uses his wealth and power to hide behind, and Shooter could never be anyone’s
replacement.”

“What do you mean, baby?” Her mother tilted her head.

“I really don’t want to talk about this. Just take my word.
I’m much better off with Shooter.”

Apprehension flashed in her mother’s eyes.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Juliette asked.

“I ran into Peter a few days ago, unexpectedly. He asked
about you and asked me to put in a good word for him.”

Closing her eyes, she balled her hands into fists. Was he
following her, or was this happenstance? Was she in danger?

“Honey, are you okay?”

“Mom, I want you to stay away from him. If you see him
coming, go the other way.”

Her mother snorted.

“I’m serious, he’s unhinged. Things ended badly between us
and like the spoiled brat he is, he can’t let go.” As an only child a part of
Juliette lived to make her mother proud. Coming from that place, she couldn’t
tell her the truth about Peter. It was a decision she was coming to regret.

“Juliette, you’re frightening me. Is he stalking you? Should
we be going to the police?”

“No, nothing like that.” She rested her hand over her
mother’s. “He’ll get bored and move on once he sees I’m not interested.”

“I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble—”

“No, Mom.” She gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “This is
all him.”

Her mother smiled. “How about we eat? Nothing like a little
comfort food to cure what ails you.”

“Mom, I’m convinced your cooking could bring about world
peace.” Once they stood, Juliette hooked their arms and headed for the kitchen.

From the moment her mother had told her she’d seen Peter,
the walls of the house had begun closing in. The thought of going home made her
antsy. Peter appearing to her mother was a new violation. She put up a good
front, feeding snippets of watered-down information about Shooter to her mother
to get her off the subject of Peter, but her mind worked overtime. By the time
she left her mother’s house she was too terrified to go home.
I need to do
something he won’t expect.
The next best thing to being with Shooter was
being at his place.

She made a U-turn on Fifth Street, and Juliette headed for
the south side of town. The houses got smaller and the large buildings turned
into strip malls. She found herself at Shooter’s complex.

After parking, she made the walk to his apartment, her
tension easing with every step. Once she locked the door behind her she removed
her heels and moved into his bedroom. Stripped down, she pulled on one of the
discarded white t-shirts lying across the bed. She pulled it over her nose,
inhaling his lingering scent as she moved to the center of the bed. Snuggling
beneath the sheets, she drifted off, grateful for the oblivion it brought.

The jarring jangle of a phone woke her. The darkness in the
room told her night had fallen. Reluctantly removing her arm from the
Shooter-scented cocoon she’d been wrapped snugly in, she located the cell phone
on the nightstand and brought it to her mouth.

“Hello?”

“Juliette? Are you okay? I was about to send the boys into
your house guns blazing.”

“Not there.” She cursed her sleep-thickened tongue.

“Where are you?”

“Your bed.”

“Damn, baby. You say all the right things without even
trying.” The worry drained from his voice.

“Miss you.”

“I miss you too, baby. Were you sleeping?”

“Yeah.” Scooting into a sitting position, she wiped the
sleep from her eyes. “I had dinner with my mom tonight and I just couldn’t
bring myself to go home.” He’d be pissed when he found out she hadn’t told him
about Peter right away. But she couldn’t add any pressure on him.

“I like the thought of you in my bed better anyways.”

“I bet you do.” She grinned. “I’m even wearing your shirt.”

He growled, and she laughed. By now she knew what her man
liked.

“Tease.”

“Hey, I deliver.”

“Yes, you do.” The silken purr made her center ache.

She cleared her throat. “How are things?”

“Good, busy but I’ll be wrapping it up tomorrow and on my
way home.”

Thank god.

“Any recent developments?”

“I got another flower, a single red rose.”

“What does it mean?”

She chewed the inside of her cheek.

“Juliette.” His voice sliced like a knife. Sharp and
bordering on angry, it was a demand for the truth.

“Mourning.”

“The fuck?” Shooter growled.

“I know. I couldn’t figure it out either.” She cleared her
throat and rubbed at her eyes, blinking as they adjusted to the darkness in the
room.

“I want you to stay at my place until I get home.”

“No place I’d rather be.”

“I like hearing you say that, baby.” His voice gentled and
she smiled. He didn’t talk to anyone else that way. Her earlier reservations
rushed to the surface.
Does this mean he feels the same way?

“Careful, you might come home and find all my things moved
in. Tampons under the sink and pink razors might cramp your style.”

“I could give a fuck less about what others think. I want
you with me. If you moved all your shit in, I’d be ecstatic.”

“You don’t think it’s too soon?” she whispered.

“When is time? I know how I feel.”

“How is that?” Her voice shook. The time for clarification
had arrived.

“I’ve been up-front with you from the start, Juliette. Why do
you think I warned you away? I’m trying to move at the pace you need, but I’m
already there.”

“I’m there too.” She couldn’t say I love you out loud, not
yet.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve a woman like you, but
I’m never letting you go. You’re mine now Juliette Moore. When I come home I’ll
remind you of that.”

Her throat went dry and the witty comment she had planned
fell by the wayside.

“Cat got your tongue, baby?”

Smug bastard.

“More like a Shooter.”

A husky chuckle came through the phone. “Get some sleep,
baby. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night, Shooter.”

“Night, Juliette.”

She drifted back to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * * * *

“You happy to be back?” Moose asked, leaning against the
bar. The boys were unwinding with a small party at the club. It was the first
time he’d been among them since he’d returned from his run. It felt good.

“Yeah, I did.” His gaze followed Juliette as she stood in
the corner with Boston and Nola. Every time they came to a club event she
blended a little more seamlessly. Soon it’d be like she’d always been there. He
liked the thought.

“She won’t disappear if you look away, you know.” A new
voice came from his left.

“Funny, Specs. What’s going on?”

“I actually found something I thought you might be
interested in.”

He finished off his beer and placed it on the bar. “About
Stant?”

“Yeah, it’s taken me a long time to unravel the red tape.
Whoever he had on this was good.” Specs’ face bore a grudging look of respect.

Waving his hand, Shooter caught Juliette’s attention and gestured
toward the office down the hall. She nodded and he turned to Specs.

“Show me.”

Leaving the loud music and crowded space behind, they
entered the office. Specs removed a flash drive from his pocket and handed it
over.

“It’s all there, man.”

Plugging it into the laptop, he then opened the file. “What
am I looking at?” Pulling up the folder, he clicked the different files,
opening them and minimizing so they were all displayed.

“Very expensive payoffs to three women each about a year
apart during Stant’s time in college.”

Shooter’s eyes threatened to bulge out of his eye sockets.
“One hundred thousand dollars a pop?”