Billionaire's Defiant Mistress (12 page)

She barely touched breakfast and soon enough it was time to leave. Carlos kissed her for the final time and she got into the car with her solitary suitcase. She had insisted that all the clothes he had bought her should go to the charity shop – and he had looked at her in fury demanding to know why. Fighting back the tears she told him she couldn't possibly wear them back home. How could she explain thousands of pounds worth of clothing on a shop assistants wages?

Before he closed the car door, Carlos leaned in and gave Sarah a purple box with a yellow ribbon tied round it.

“What's this?” she whispered, staring down at the box.

“It's just a small gift,” he smiled in a gentle mocking way. “It is Christmas, and that is my Christmas gift for you.”

“But I didn't get you anything.”

He looked her straight in the eye as he felt a mixture of desire and guilt wash over him, thinking she had given him the greatest gift of all – her innocence. “You've been the best Christmas present I can remember, Sarah,” he whispered. “Now don't open your present until Christmas Day.”

The limousine pulled down the driveway and Sarah's hand tightened around the box – she was subconsciously treasuring his final gift. It was only after they had pulled onto the road that she allowed the tears to fall.

Christmas morning couldn't come soon enough for Sarah, she was so eager to open Carlos's present. If she felt as though her heart had been squeezed tightly and left all bruised and hurt, then clutching the little purple box went some way to comforting her pain.

She felt as though she was acting when she greeted her mother with a giant sized hug. Could her mother tell this was a different person who had returned? And as they decorated their old silver Christmas tree, she felt like an impostor. The real Sarah, she thought, had been left behind in the heavenly bliss of her lover's embrace.

Life continued in the same way it always had and Sarah tried her best to fit into the Christmas spirit. On Christmas Eve she went to the pub, Gareth was there. In fact there were many people there who she knew, yet she had a strange sensation that she no longer belonged there. It was as if Carlos had up-rooted her from her natural habitat then let her go – so she no longer felt a part of anywhere.

“No lover boy, tonight?” mocked Gareth. “Or will he be dropping in on his helicopter for a quick drink?”

Sarah put on her bravest face and just hoped it was enough. “No. We're finished, Gareth. I told you it was a temporary arrangement, that's just how it was.”

“And are you okay?” Gareth could sense that she wasn't but also knew how to be a friend and not push it.

“Yes, absolutely fine.”

That night as Sarah climbed into bed she could hear the midnight bells chiming around the village and the ever present roar of the wind racing through the valley. She could wait no longer, so she untied the yellow ribbon from the purple box and opened it. She removed the lid, causing her eyes to open wide and her fingers to fly to her lips, as she looked inside.

Sitting on the dark luxury velvet was a solitary, bright diamond the size of a small pea. The dimness in the room was still enough for the diamond to capture and sparkle the light back at her in a cascade of rainbow colours. She lifted it out-of-the-box and discovered it was set on a fine platinum chain. In a rush of excitement she leapt out of bed and sat before the mirror, so she could put it around her neck and admire her gift. But as she sat there staring at the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, her heart began to sink, realising she would never be able to wear it in public. Even to an uneducated observer, this was high quality jewellery. She would never be able to pass it off as a fake. So, on Christmas Day she wore it under a turtle-neck sweater and the cold stone dangling against her skin was a constant reminder of her time with Carlos.

The New Year arrived and Sarah found herself back at work in the tiny shop which seemed even smaller after her time in Manchester. Her normal enthusiasm was difficult to conjure up – more so when Anita, her boss, was keen to discuss her time in Manchester and her work at Puxley's. Sarah, of course, wasn't so keen on reliving her time away

. “Did you enjoy working there?” Anita questioned. “And did you enjoy Manchester generally?”

“Oh, it was great.” Sarah spoke truthfully. It had been great, but it wasn't so great for her having to carry around the memories of her time in Manchester. And imagine if Anita was aware of the truth – that she had been accused of theft and then sacked; all because she'd met a man with black seductive eyes and allowed her concentration to fly out of the window.

And it wasn't as if the shame of losing her job had any significance to her. The sharp, searing loss which haunted her every moment was caused by the pain she felt at missing Carlos. Her only comfort was to tell herself that over time, she would get over losing him. It might be a while, but nobody ever died of a broken heart.

Sarah threw herself into work and volunteered to do everything, anything to keep her mind occupied. She did a full stock-check, re-dressed the shop window and cleaned every nook and cranny in the shop. Anita was delighted with the results giving praise and the promise of a pay rise in the spring. Sarah tried to keep her mind on the thought that the winter evenings were shrinking and that soon the bright yellow heads of the daffodils would be pushing their way through the cold earth.

One more irritation that had crept up on her was a queasy stomach she felt each morning as she woke up. Initially she put it down to her overindulgence during the holiday period. Wolfing down blocks of chocolate and dipping in to the huge tin of sweets that had been there since before Christmas. Her lack of appetite for normal food she blamed on missing Carlos. Denial is easy, when what you seek is comfort and safety. Blotting things out takes little effort when you don't want to face the truth.

Then one morning she was physically sick – retching quietly in the bathroom, fearful that her mother would hear her and guess at the suspicion which was growing daily in Sarah's mind.

She visited the chemist and waited until her mother was out before she dared to do a test. She persuaded herself that it had to be negative, that they had used contraception every time they had made love so it couldn't possibly be. She refused to even consider the alternative; the result just had to be negative!

But it wasn't. To Sarah's horror it was glaringly positive.

For the next few days she tried to carry on as normal as if attempting to convince herself there had been some mistake, but deep within she knew there was no mistake. And she knew she had to tell Carlos.

She had been thinking of Carlos ever since leaving him, and a small part of her had hoped he would contact her. Realising that Carlos had meant what he said made the phone call to him all the more difficult. There had been no change of heart from him and she had been sorely disappointed in her ex-lover. Not even a call on Christmas Day, no emotional message on New Year's Eve either telling her how much he missed her. If he didn't contact her on those sentimental days then she knew that he meant what he said. It was over – there was no plan for him to see her again.

Having waited for a time when her mother was out again, she couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone and call him. What if he didn't answer? She couldn't tell him in a recorded message. Then in a flash, her instinct taking over, she picked the phone up and dialled. She held the phone in her hand, not sure if she was going to put the receiver back down at any moment. Answer! Answer the phone!

“Sarah?”

The sound of his voice made her speechless as she was reminded, by a hundred different emotions, of her time with Carlos. She was hit with feelings of longing and sadness made all the more acute by the sound of wariness in his voice. A tone which made it clear to her that her call was not a welcome one. Had she been calling on the hope that she could reignite the relationship then she would have ended the conversation quickly – because it was already clear that wouldn't happen. But that was not the reason for her call. But how could she begin to tell him?

“Carlos, I need to speak with you.”

On the other end of the phone, Carlos was about to get into his car after a physical training session. As her name flashed on the screen of his phone, Carlos frowned. Why had she abandoned the pride he so admired, and rung him? What flimsy pretext had she concocted as an excuse for calling? Had she left something behind at his house? In any event he was convinced this was a ploy to get back into his life and into his bed – and if it was, he was so very tempted to indulge her taste for more, sensual adventure. He had missed her, her warmth and beautiful body wrapped in his arms. Her intoxicating, sweet smile, greeting him when he got home each day.

“Carlos, are you there?”

His frown deepened as he noticed there was no courtesy or affection in her voice. This was not the sycophantic tone of a woman willing to abandon her pride. She wasn't using charm and sweetness in an attempt to wheedle her way back into his life – his instincts were alerted.

“You are speaking to me.” He spoke coldly
.

. “I mean... I need to speak to you in person.”

“It will be difficult, I just don't have the time.” An image of her firm young body travelled through his mind. He thought of her deep blue eyes, her long flowing blonde hair and rose red lips. The temptation to agree to seeing her was there, she was such an agreeable mistress. But what would be the point of seeing her again because, for all kinds of reasons, she was not a suitable consort in the long term. A relationship with Sarah wasn't going anywhere, and maybe he needed to make that very clear.

“I have a busy schedule right now, too many games to play and business things to deal with. My time is just too tight, Sarah – I'm sure you understand.”

Sat alone in her small stone cottage, Sarah winced, regretting that she hadn't just come right out and told him her news. Because if she had told him already, she wouldn't have had to endure the cold and heartless way he had just dismissed her. And in her heart she knew that she had hoped there would be a part of him which regretted letting her go. She felt she was in a fairytale, the dream of a little girl, where she held tightly to the small hope that he might want her back in his life. But her fairytale seemed hopeless, nothing more than a foolish fantasy. Meanwhile, back in reality, she still needed to tell him.

“I'd rather not tell you on the phone.”

“Tell me what?” His words making a mockery of her words.

She had no choice. She could do no other but come right out with it. Sarah swallowed hard and then blurted, “I'm pregnant, Carlos.”

Carlos felt his world tip upside down as his heart thundered, being overwhelmed by an extraordinary feeling of powerlessness. His lack of control soon overtaken by pure anger.

“You can't be pregnant, that's impossible.”

“Then we have a miracle on our hands. I can assure you I am pregnant,” she replied.

His mind ran through a million scenes a second as he wondered how it could have happened. When did it happen? There were times when he had wanted her so badly that putting on a condom had been a deep irritation, but he had made sure he had protected them on every occasion.

“How long have you been pregnant?” he asked, trying to remain calm.

“Just a few weeks, a month, I don't know.”

His stomach was churning and a heavy sense of foreboding engulfed him whilst the anger continued to flow through his veins as if he had been poisoned. Feeling cornered and powerless he wanted to lash out, to hurt her? “You are certain that I am the father?”

Sarah slumped into the sofa as if he had fired an arrow through her heart. A near fatal wound caused by the harsh cruelty that was embedded in his accusation. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears. How could he think that she was so desperate for sex, so easily able to forget all about him, that she could jump straight into bed with another man? Is that the impression she gave him? Was the way she jumped straight into bed with him good reason to believe that was the kind of girl she was?

But it was at this moment that Sarah began to feel a faint flicker of strength build-up deep inside her. She realised that she was all alone. And from that realisation, something primitive which had empowered many women before her, gave her an incredible strength. As she received the stark and unwanted news her hand drifted over her belly, caressing it in a protective manner before resting as if building a wall around her womb.

She contemplated Carlos's words briefly and was very clear in her mind how she felt about them. They were hurtful and hateful words in the circumstances. She heard those words go through her mind one more time –
you are certain that I am the father?
How could he be so cruel when she had given him her innocence along with her heart?

If there
could be a definitive moment in time when a girl becomes a woman then this was that moment for Sarah. She took a deep breath as the hand on her stomach tightened into a determined fist. “No. The baby is not yours.” She spoke clearly and confidently. “The baby is mine. You don't need to do a damn thing, Carlos. We don't need you and we certainly don't want you, I just felt that you had a right to know. I won't be bothering you again.” She turned the phone off and slithered down the sofa, staring up at the ceiling as she gave out a huge sigh.

Her mother would be back soon, she remembered, so she stood up and walked around in an attempt to regain her equilibrium. Realising that she was now responsible for herself and her unborn baby only served to give her strength and determination to succeed on her own. She needed to get herself organised – to make plans without any outside influence or pressure. She knew she could rely on her mother – but that wasn't the point. It was her responsibility ultimately and it was only her who was able to make those decisions. Her mother didn't need to know, not just yet, neither did Anita.

There was only one person who had a right to be informed of her pregnancy and he had treated the announcement with contempt. Her immediate concern was to take care of herself by eating good food, getting plenty of rest and figur
ing
out what to do.