Billionaire's Defiant Mistress (14 page)

She felt his mouth graze over her lips – and despite not wanting pleasure from his contact she felt an instant ignition of the fire deep in her stomach. His lips touched her in delicate provocation as they roamed back and forth, until her pride and self respect no longer took priority in her mind, being replaced by desire as her arms wrapped around him. And as she felt his kisses she found herself biting back a small whimper of relief. She clung to him, like a small boat that had found a port during a storm – and briefly she felt warm and safe as she allowed the kiss to deepen and could feel his tongue probing her mouth.

He pulled her towards him, stroking her head in his palms, until he pulled away from her as he tried to steady his breathing.

“That's better, Sarah, much better. Now this is the plan – listen Sarah – because it is important. You must go home and see your mother, then tell her that you are going to marry the man you met in Manchester.”

“And what will I say when she asks me why?”

“You have fallen in love. You only have to tell her that you love me.”

“But...but I –“

“You don't love me?” he interrupted mockingly. “I know. You know too – but it can be our secret, Sarah.”

“So, that's two secrets already,” she said bitterly. “Just how many secrets are we going to have to keep between us?”

He shrugged his shoulders, and ran his hand down her head to stroke her neck. “In business, in life in general, it is always wise to keep some things in reserve.”

“But this isn't business, this is different!” she riposted.

“It's not all that different. It's the same principle. Don't burden your mother or your friends with too many surprises at once.” His eyes widened as his tone of voice became more serious. “And try and keep yourself grounded in facts rather than a fantasy. Marrying for love does not guarantee a matrimonial success – I believe arranged marriages fare better.”

“Not in my world, they don't. Besides, people are bound to be suspicious if we just get married at the drop of a hat.” Her voice was shaking.

“You can distract them by telling them you are getting married anywhere in the world. You choose a venue, we can marry wherever you wish.” His voice had become upbeat and optimistic because he knew that she was agreeing to his proposal – now it was just a question of sorting out the details. “If you give them something to think about, like where the ceremony is taking place, they won't notice the speed with which we're getting married quite so easily.”

Sarah was on the edge of accepting his proposal and yet was torn between horror of what she was about to agree to and an admiration for his sheer, cold determination. He really was a cynic. Did he really believe that her mother could be bought by a promise of a luxury wedding? But then, she told herself, he had a long-term distrust of women. The one woman he had loved had been dazzled by wealth. The question Sarah needed to answer for herself was, could she go into an arranged marriage with such a man?

And did she really have any choice?

She quickly ran through her options in her own mind. Could she really go it alone as a single mother? She knew her own mother would be disappointed and a little shocked initially, but she also knew her mother would come round and shower her and the child with affection. The new baby would be welcomed and loved in their little home. But it wasn't a responsibility that her mother should have to bear – and the responsibility of having a grandchild in the house would have a heavy impact on her life. Her own daughter had only just grown-up, didn't her mother deserve some freedom of her own?

Could Sarah continue working in the shop, leaving the baby at home? And even if she did become manageress it still wouldn't be enough money, and couldn't possibly provide everything her child needed. Would it be right to subject her child to a lifetime of just getting by – when all the time her rich and powerful father was hovering around in the distance?

And as time passed, would she be worried that Carlos was just waiting for the moment he could step in and take her away? Whisk her off to the bright lights of Madrid, or some other capital city where she would gradually become her father's daughter, rather than Sarah's. She could never compete with the great wealth, and all it offers, that Carlos had.

Then there was Carlos himself. In the short time she had known him he had the ability to make Sarah's blood race through her veins,
with passion. He made her feel alive. She could barely admit it to herself, but when Carlos was by her side, the world was a less frightening place. He made her feel safe.

There was no great surrender, no emotional outburst as she accepted his plan. She gave a small nod of her head after acknowledging to herself that capitulation was her only choice – she just had to grit her teeth and make the most of what was to come.

“When?” she asked. “When should I tell my mother?”

“You must tell her as soon as possible, so that means today,” he commanded. “Later, I will come to your house and meet your mother myself.”

So Sarah went home and announced to her mother that she was to get married. As she told her, Sarah became worried that her mother wouldn't approve and might try to talk her out of going through with it – and as that thought crossed her mind she realised she didn't want to be talked out of it. It was as if by some kind of magic, she was happy to play the cards as dealt and take her chances with the fate that lay before her.

That evening she had the pleasure of witnessing her mother's initial uncertainty evolve into absolute delight when the impeccably elegant Carlos turned up to their home. He had a stern, serious expression on his face but soon they were all joking along, fuelled by the celebratory bottle of champagne and Carlos's natural charm.

Sarah was appalled at his ruthless, convincing performance. When in the pursuit of something he wanted Carlos remained focused and on message throughout. She had only seen him this way once before, when he had defended her in front of the security staff at Puxley's. She listened awestruck, as he promised her mother that he would look after her and explained that they both wanted to get married as soon as possible. Sarah thought her mother probably would have had a few objections, but how could anyone object to Carlos when his charm was being laid on so thick?

Once Carlos had gone her mother hugged Sarah and with a beaming smile on her face, said, “Oh my little darling; I can see why you don't want to wait.”

Sarah managed to put a bright smile on her face as she met her mother's eyes – her mother had enjoyed a close and loving marriage, so Sarah felt her smile was masking her guilt. But what else could she say? Deep down Sarah knew that there was a part of her which longed to be Carlos's bride, and she would be happy wearing his ring on her finger. She also knew that her dreams of a happy marriage with Carlos were foolish. She was living in hope, not certainty.

They soon married, in a quiet ceremony in Manchester. It seemed the most appropriate venue – Carlos's offer of a wedding anywhere in the world was never going to be something that Sarah was comfortable with, especially as she was still getting over his accusations of being a gold digger.

She discovered that her new life was like existing in a very efficient machine – a money powered machine – and as a consequence her recent increase in confidence seemed to desert her. It's strange the things that you can miss when your life circumstances change. She realised that she would never have to save money in order to buy something again. And anything that she wanted for herself or her baby would be there straight away, all she had to do was ask.

There was a hurried shopping trip, where she bought a long, flowing, cream dress and a matching jacket to protect her from the harsh wintry weather. By contrast, Carlos represented everything that was dark – he turned up to the wedding in a black formal suit which went perfectly with his jet black hair and dark eyes.

It was a small wedding, Sarah's mother and Gareth attended and acted as witnesses. Carlos had said to invite who she wanted but apart from a few old school friends there wasn't anybody to invite. And seeing as they didn't know anybody else as a couple, Sarah thought it odd to invite anybody anyway.
But were they a couple? They hadn't intended becoming a couple, and if it wasn't for the life growing in her womb, then they wouldn't be having a wedding.

As they pulled up outside the registry office Sarah turned to Carlos – she was nervously fiddling with the yellow ribbon on her bridal bouquet. She turned to look him in his gleaming dark eyes and was desperate for him to wrap her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be great. But the expression on Carlos's face was tense and distant, as if he wanted to get the whole event over and done with. So Sarah stayed silent and reflected on what she'd promised herself, to be positive, to support her husband and to be a real wife as much as he would permit.

“Haven't you invited any of your friends to the wedding?” she asked him quietly.

“No, I figured it would only become a problem – it's all been such a rush. And if I told everybody the press would have found out and that would have made the day a nightmare.”

After their celebratory meal Sarah's mother headed back to the Lake District, taken in the limousine, in some style. Sarah and Carlos waved her off, his arm wrapped snugly around her waist.

“I think your mother is happy with our arrangement,” he suggested.

“She is, you have made her a happy woman.” Sarah smiled cheekily.

He turned her round so she faced him. ”So you think she approves of your new husband?”

“I do,” she said.

Carlos gazed over his new bride, and for the first time saw her as fragile and brittle, like a china doll that could break without careful handling. Her skin was ordinarily pale but today she appeared chalk white and he decided she did not seem to be looking after herself. He had always felt a passion for her, but that passion was now tempered by his desire to protect her and to protect his baby.

“It's time we went home,” he demanded. “Let's go.”

When she once again pulled up on the driveway in front of his massive house she felt her stomach turn over as if it was doing cartwheels. How strange it was for Sarah to be standing in front of the very same house which had intimidated her just a month before. And now, she could call this house her home. Then Elaine opened the door, and Sarah realised there was another woman in the house who probably felt more comfortable there than she did.

The house keeper greeted her. “Congratulations Señora Rodriguez, and welcome home,” she said with a dignified smile.

Sarah smiled and nodded her head by way of response. She felt somewhat ridiculous entering the house in the way she had. A rushed bride, a pregnant bride at that. What was Elaine thinking? What was going off behind that pleasant looking smile? Would the housekeeper resent the new woman entering the house that she had governed for so long?

“Thank you, Elaine, much appreciated,” she said softly.

The housekeeper left them alone. Sarah turned to Carlos and moved her hand to his head allowing her fingers to gently stroke the angle of his jaw. It seemed like a long time to Sarah, since she had touched him and she was unsure about doing so again. But she wanted to snap herself out of the surreal atmosphere which had surrounded her all day.

“I think I expressed myself clumsily, earlier,” she ventured. “My mother had a marvellous time, Carlos. And I want to thank you very much.”

He took her hand from his face and kissed her fingers on the tips, one by one. “That was my duty as your husband and it is a great pleasure to serve you when I can, Sarah.”

Husband!
Sarah felt a tingle down her spine and her mind filled with pride. For the first time she looked at him and saw Carlos as her possession, those muscles, that strength and those rugged features belonged to her, she thought. But she still felt disconnected – as if they'd never slept in the same bed and yet there was something growing inside her which ridiculed that thought. And because of the distance she was feeling, Sarah decided what they needed was to become lovers again, to reconnect at the most fundamental level. That would help to erase some of the harsh words they had exchanged – as well as block out that he was only with her under sufferance.

“Let's – let's go to bed?” Sarah spoke as if it was a question but had intended to sound demanding.

Carlos couldn't help noticing the shadows under her eyes, made all the darker by the contrast with her pale skin. He also saw the lines of tension across her brow and seeing her like that gave him a pang of guilt. She looked so young, and so fragile. He could only think of the stress she must be under and the new life she was carrying. He could see the strain on her face and thought she resembled a sacrificed lamb rather than a bride on her wedding night.

”Bed is the perfect thing for you,” he said.

Sarah smiled as she followed him upstairs to the master bedroom, where he undressed her as he had many times before. But this time was not like the other times. There was no passion and urgency as he stripped her clothes off. There was no obvious touching. His fingers didn't trail along her skin in the way she had got used to. And when he carried her over to the bed he seemed restrained. When he placed her on the silk sheet he quickly pulled the duvet over her as if he wanted to protect his eyes from her nakedness. She felt that Carlos's desire for her had withered.

Was he living with regret now that he had married her? Or was this sudden distance something to do with the fact he hadn't invited any of his friends to the wedding? Maybe he was thinking about Rafaela – the woman he had wanted to marry. Was he now wishing that it was her who was in his bed? Was that the reason for his distance? Sarah had to know.

Preparing herself to be wounded by his response, she forced herself to ask the question. “Did you want any of your friends at the wedding today?” she asked as she looked at him, waiting for him to take his clothes off and get under the duvet with her.

Carlos stared down at her pale face and her slender body outlined under the cover. “No, not really. It didn't seem appropriate.”