Bird Watching (37 page)

We were up by three with the game clock running down to single digits, and the Knicks inbounded the ball. Their plan, I believe, was to go for a quick two, but Jalen deflected the inbounds pass, so whatever play they were running was busted. Antonio Davis was guarding Larry Johnson, who ended up with the ball in the corner. Tony made a stab at the ball and that put him off balance. Tony hit Johnson, who took another step, then shot the three-pointer. The shot was good and the refs called a foul. We lost on a four-point play, which is impossible. I told Antonio not to worry about it, because the guy should have been shooting free throws. There’s no way that foul was in the act of shooting. It was well before the shot.

But I understand you should never put yourself in that position. We were trying to protect the lead again, and we have to take responsibility for that.

Antonio was pretty upset after the game. He had his head down, like we all did. I was ready to do anything it took to get them to concentrate for the next game, but it really wasn’t a problem. They were ready. They understood they HAD to win Game 4 after what had just happened.

Game 4 was a gut check game for us. Jalen Rose stepped up and made some really big plays. Chris Mullin hit some key jumpers. Reggie had another quiet night—he was three for 10—but we got scoring from Antonio too, so we managed.

But then they got to Game 5 and they let down again. What happened in Game 3 took so much out of them, and then they expended all this effort to even it again in Game 4, it was like they ran out of gas or something. I still have a hard time with that. Here was this major monster game, one of the biggest in franchise history, on our floor and half our guys didn’t show up. It made me sick to my stomach.

I’ve always said Game 5 is the most important game in a series. You have to have that one. I told reporters before that game that Rik Smits was going to have a big game. I wasn’t just saying it—I truly believed it. He hadn’t played well at all up to that point. He had broken his toe and it was giving him trouble. It was painful for him to plant his foot and pivot. On top of that, his chronically sore feet were giving him problems again.

Every once in a while I’d ask him how he was doing. From all indications he was all right. He said the toe was hurting him but his feet were actually okay. I was relieved to hear that. I worried more about his feet. The broken toe, I figured, he could play through.

Leading up to Game 5, he looked pretty good in practice. He was running and jumping around. I remember saying to Dick and Rick, “Wow, I think he’s going to be okay after all.”

I don’t know why Rik couldn’t get it together in Game 5. He really couldn’t do anything. We needed him so badly and he just wasn’t there for us. I didn’t have to tell him that. I’m sure it was one of the lowest days of his life.

His big problem was getting into early foul trouble. When you have to pull a guy after 30 seconds because he has two quick fouls, that causes all sorts of problems. Imagine sitting all day thinking about the game, and getting yourself mentally prepared, then going out there and finding yourself back on the bench in less than a minute.

Smits finished with eight points and six rebounds in Game 5. The media was all over him. For the first time I can remember, Rik ducked out without talking to reporters. He knew how devastating it was. Our crowd, which had seen us go ahead by as many as 14, was stunned. Reggie scored 30 that night but couldn’t knock down the big ones down the stretch. Suddenly, we were in deep trouble and we all knew it.

I really challenged Rik before Game 6. Sometimes he responds better when you do that. I told him, “Rik, if I can’t get anything out of you tonight, we can’t win.”

Then I turned to the rest of the team and told them we needed people to step up and give us more. I said to them, “There’s one guy in this locker room who I know is going to go out there and bust his ass, who is going to give us absolutely everything he has. He’s never going to stop playing hard. I know Dale Davis is going to do that for us. Now who is going to follow him?”

Rik Smits played pretty well in Game 6. But that game went like all the others. Not enough of our guys came to play. Chris Mullin didn’t score a basket. Mark Jackson didn’t give us much. Antonio Davis didn’t either. I think he had only one rebound. He’s one of those guys that when Smits gets into early foul trouble you can say, “Tony, Rik’s not with us tonight, bail us out, okay?” And he’ll go out and do it.

In spite of all that, with 6:58 left in the game, it was a tie score. We had the ball, our whole season was on the line, and what happened? We got called for two traveling violations. The turnovers in that game killed us. We had 26 for the game. That explains it all.

When I watched the Knicks, I saw them make the kind of big plays that turn games around. We did the same thing to opponents the previous season. Marcus Camby is the player who killed us. He had energy and lift, and those tips that he kept slamming down on us were the daggers in our heart. You watch him on film and he has excellent timing. He waits, and waits, then darts in just at the right time to make the play.

Latrell Sprewell played well for the Knicks too, but he didn’t kill us. Someone asked me, looking back, if I wish we had pulled the trigger on the Sprewell trade, but I don’t. The price—one of our top big guys—was too high. I don’t have any regrets about that.

I know what people were saying about us. They were saying our guys couldn’t handle the pressure, but I’ve seen Reggie and Mark in way too many situations where they’ve come up with big money baskets to believe that.

In retrospect, it all comes back to Game 3. We blew that game, then came back and fought like champions in Game 4, but couldn’t follow through in Game 5. I guarantee you one thing: if we had won Game 3, we would have won Game 4 too. It’s disappointing it didn’t turn out that way.

You can’t expect that to happen when you turn it on and off the way we did. You have to show up for every play, every night, if you want to win a championship.

I think our team, including the coaches, were all waiting for Reggie to go off and have one of his amazing games. We all sat back and said,“Reggie’s going to have it the next game,” instead of someone else stepping up and saying, “Let me try and get this done.”

The one thing I won’t listen to is people saying we were too cocky, or that we didn’t put in the effort to win. It’s not like these guys didn’t try. I never questioned whether they wanted it or not.

All you had to do was walk into our locker room after Game 6 to see that. Mark Jackson took it harder than anyone. He knows this was our year. He understands there may never be another opportunity like the one we just let get away.

For me, the hardest guy to face was Donnie Walsh. He worked so hard and for so long to build this team, and I know it was crushing for him how things ended. He usually comes into the locker room after every game, but he wasn’t around much in that last series. It was too hard for him. My pal Slick Leonard was the other guy who was really down. He wanted so much for us to get to the Finals.

Reggie wasn’t around for very long after it ended. I didn’t really see him to talk to him, but I know he felt bad. Reggie was three of 18 from the floor in that final game. Unbelievable. I did find Rik Smits and told him he played with a lot of heart in Game 6. A few days later, he was quoted in a foreign magazine as saying he was thinking of retiring because he was tired of playing in pain. I hope that’s just his frustration and disappointment talking. I’m expecting him to be back next season.

We had our break-up dinner, but I didn’t want to be there. Neither did the players. We all sat around and moped and felt sorry for ourselves. Actually, I’m still doing that. I know we had a good ball club, but the bottom line is we didn’t get it done. People tell me, “There are twenty-seven other teams that didn’t win it,” but that’s supposed to make me feel better? And then there’re the ones who say, “Well, at least you got back to the Final Four.” That’s total B.S. That means nothing to me, or my players.

I know what we need next season. We need younger players. We’re going to have to make some pretty tough decisions this summer. I said in my first season I would resign rather than see this team trade Reggie Miller or Mark Jackson. But now I realize sometimes you have to make difficult business decisions like that, for the good of the team. I’m not saying we’re going to trade those guys, but my guess is, Donnie is going to look at everything. One thing is obvious to me: we can’t come back with everything the same as last season.

That’s why, on draft day, we traded Antonio Davis for Jonathan Bender, a high school star from Picayune, Mississippi. It wasn’t easy trading Tony. I hated to do it. He’s a great guy and was a big part of our team. He was also our best defender. But Tony wanted to start next season and we couldn’t guarantee that. Donnie felt that for the best of the franchise we needed to be younger. I didn’t know much about Bender when we traded for him—only what I’ve seen on tape. But Donnie’s convinced this kid is going to be a star. I have to admit, though, if Lamar Odom was there at number five (the Clippers took him with the number four pick), we would have grabbed him. By trading Tony, we now have Tony’s money ($4.2 million) to go out and sign a free agent, someone like Lorenzen Wright.

I’m sure that’s not the only move we’ll make. There might be other big changes, and some other little changes as well. Little things like moving Chris Mullin out of the starting lineup, or featuring Jalen Rose in the offense more. I don’t know right now. It’s too hard for me to even think about.

As a coach, when you lose a game, you go back and look at the film and see what you could have done differently to help your team, whether another defensive strategy would have worked, or whether a different play call in a certain situation would have made sense. I haven’t been able to do that yet.

I haven’t felt this low about basketball since I played for the Celtics and we were swept by Milwaukee in the 1982–1983 season playoffs. Back then, the way I handled it was that I went home to French Lick and played basketball all summer and vowed to be better than I ever was. But as a coach, I can tell you that there’s a much bigger feeling of despair.

I’ve never been one to take games home with me, but this series has been brutal for me. After two straight sweeps, I was so convinced we’d be focused enough to beat New York. But when it was finally over, it felt like we were a complete and utter failure.

I told Donnie I would decide my future from year to year, and that’s what I’ve done. He wants me to come back and coach next season, and I guess that is probably what I’ll do. I’m not a quitter. But I will stick to my original promise of coaching only three years. That will be more than enough for me.

It’s hard to say what our team will look like next season. We’re all still a little raw from what’s happened. The younger guys were disappointed, but they know they’ve always got next year. For the older guys, who are at the end of their careers, it’s more personal. It hurts more, because they can sense it slipping away from them.

I know exactly how they feel.