Bitter Taffy (21 page)

“Then she needs to act like it!” Rico shouted. “You never gave a
damn
about me, but
Mami
told me I was loved. If I was going to be loved, I’ve got to be loved for all of me, and not just the little clone businessman she thinks she’s raised.”

“
Sentiment
!” Eduardo Gonzalves spat. “You pretend to be grown—”

“I wasn’t,” Rico said, feeling this conviction deep inside—in the places Derek had touched, and had owned, over the past three days. “I wasn’t grown up. I had to go to New York, get my heart broken, and come back
here
, and figure out how to fix it.
Now
I’m grown up, and as a grown-up? I say you and
Mami
have to either love who I am or leave me alone.”

His father’s lips had gone bloodless, and for a moment they stared at each other, his father’s cheekbones and jawbones so prominent he looked like a skull. “I don’t know who filled your head—”

Rico saw movement near the doors and looked up quickly as Mari and Mrs. Stewart emerged from the courthouse. Between the two women, Rico’s mother walked tiredly, her strappy heels dangling from her fingers and her nylons shredding on the concrete. Her hair had long since fallen from its chignon, and she’d pulled it back into a serviceable ponytail. The rumpled jacket of her suit draped over one arm.

Her other arm was companionably linked with Finn’s mother’s. They were both wiping their eyes without self-consciousness.

She looked up and saw Rico and smiled apologetically. Then her eyes flickered to her husband’s, and any spark shut down.

Mari looked up at them and waved happily, apparently as impervious to Rico’s father as Finn was to a bad day. She said something to Rico’s mom, who replied briefly. Mari’s mom—the white-lady equivalent of Rico’s mom, in a pale peach linen suit with a white shell underneath, stopped and hugged her tightly. To Rico’s surprise, his mother returned the hug.

“Holy God,” he breathed. “That family….”

Lydia Gonzalves-Macias broke away from them reluctantly, and Mari held up her phone and nodded. Lydia patted her purse and nodded back. Great. Apparently they’d exchanged numbers. Adam caught Rico’s eyes in disbelief, and Rico shrugged back. Damn. Just…

Damn.

Lydia walked up to Rico and his father and, after a tentative look back at her new sisterhood, gave a tentative smile. “Hola, Ricardo.”

Fucking surreal. “Hola,
Mami
. Uhm, new friends?”

Lydia’s shoulders relaxed. “Sí.” She smiled a little more naturally. “Mari and her mother—they’re good people. I… they didn’t need to come in and do that.” She flushed and her gaze darted to her husband. “I didn’t behave very well, Ricardo,” she said after a moment. “You were right. I… I was upset, and I ran to my mami, and… and what we did, it wasn’t nice.” Her chin wobbled. “And it should have been between you and me—”

“Lydia!” his father said sharply, and she shook her head.

“You didn’t raise him,” she snapped. “
I
did. I kept him out of your way. Well, that’s fine. It’s what you wanted—a nice boy for the family pictures. But my sister—she’s
never
going to see Adam again. And you know what? Rico’s right. Adam didn’t deserve that. He’s been nothing but honorable this whole time—”

“Honorable—”

“I don’t want to talk about what you think ‘gay’ is,” she snapped, and Rico recoiled. He’d
never
heard her talk like that. Not to his father. “Those women were
nice
to me. I was hideous, and they were
kind
.
And if they can be nice to me when my own family is ugly, then maybe Rico has the right of it. Maybe the people who are nice to you should be the people you care about. I don’t
want
Rico to go away. I don’t
want
to never see him again. Lucy is
horrible
—I’ve never wanted to be like her in anything. Why would I want to be like her in how she treats her son?”

“Lydia Gonzalves-Macias—”

“
I’m not your wayward child
!” she shouted. Her lower lip trembled, and her tears fell freely. “I’m a mother, and if it’s a choice between loving my son and never seeing him again, this is my choice.”

“Well, it’s
not
mine,” Eduardo snapped back. Then he spat at Rico’s feet. “You’re not my son, and we shall see if
she
remains my wife.”

He turned around and stalked off, leaving Rico openmouthed, his hands shaking.

“
Mami
,” he said, as shocked and saddened as a child.

His mother’s hug surprised him. For a moment he held himself stiff from surprise, but the moment passed, and he fell into it, grateful, suddenly,
so
grateful that he hadn’t lost this, the magic of those quiet meals in the kitchen. But this was better because there was no fear.

“Don’t worry,” she said softly. “He’s my problem, not yours.” She pulled back and wiped her eyes again. Rico had a kerchief in the pocket of his rumpled suit, and he pulled it out and offered it to her. For some reason this made her cry harder. “Such a gentleman,” she sniffled. “Always such a gentleman. Your cousin’s new family—they’re really good people,” she continued, surprising him. “You tell him I said I was glad. Tell him he deserves to be happy. He deserves to be loved.” She sobbed a little into the kerchief. “Tell him I’m sorry I wasn’t braver when he was little. It won’t help him now, but I’m sorry.”

“
Mami
,” he said gently, hugging her again. He’d thought she’d break down, but she didn’t.

“I’ve got to go,” she said, nodding to where Rico’s father paced angrily by the car. “And I’ve got to get angry to talk to him, so no more tears. But when you were little, I always picked him. No meals in the dining room, no pictures on the refrigerator, no weekends at the zoo. I sat in that jail cell with Mari, and she talked about how much she loved her little brother, and how her family always had such joy together, and how she couldn’t let anybody say mean things. I realized that they picked
each other
.
Her parents made the children happy, and the children made the parents happy. She would do
anything
to protect them. And I hadn’t done anything—not one thing—to protect you or Adam.”

Rico was crying. Oh goddammit—
crying
—on the lawn of the county jail. “I grew up fine,” he said, voice tight.

“You grew up lonely,” she corrected bitterly. “No wonder you love your cousin so much. But that’s okay. He loves you back. You have family here. And your young man—”

“Do you want to meet him?” Rico asked, suddenly anxious that she would.

Lydia shook her head. “Later,” she said softly, waving her hands around her face. “When we can pretend this never happened.”

“The jail?” he asked, half-afraid. “Or the choosing me?”

“The jail,” she reassured him. “Now give me one more hug, Rico. Tell your cousin he doesn’t have to worry if I ever show up on his doorstep again. I don’t understand about the gay thing, but I get the not being ugly now. Maybe I’ll be better the next time I visit.”

Rico thought of Derek’s parents. In touch they were not—but kind? There was no doubt. “I’d like that,” he said, hugging her. “I love you,
Mami
.”

“I love you too,” she said. And then she said the thing that leveled him. “And you are always my good boy.”

She pulled away hurriedly and sprinted across the grass to where Rico’s father stood in front of their car, glaring angrily at her. He started to yell as she approached, but his mother? Oh, she did him proud. She drew her shoulders back and, in an act of icy disdain worthy of her own mother, gestured to the door.

Flummoxed, Eduardo Gonzalves opened the door to the Lincoln, and Rico’s mother swept regally in.

Oh,
Mami
.

By the time the car disappeared down the street, Derek was at his elbow. “Rico?” he asked softly.

Rico shook his head. “Uhm, she wanted Adam to know she was sorry,” he said, glancing up at Adam. Adam was sandwiched between Mari and her mother, both of them talking to him earnestly, with lots of reassuring touches on the shoulder and the arms. Adam looked uncomfortable, like a dog being rubbed on by two sweet little kittens he didn’t want to frighten. Well, good. Adam got to see that women could be nice creatures. It was a lesson Rico had once thought neither of them would learn.

“Baby,” Derek said, sounding a little wrecked.

Rico looked back at him and realized he’d violated all of the personal space laws ever.

“What?” Rico asked, his voice thick in his throat.

“You’re crying.” He wiped under Rico’s eyes with his thumbs, his nearness intimate and kind and God, such bedrock reassurance.

Rico nodded, feeling foolish. “She, uh, said she loved me,” he said, his voice crackling all over the place. “And then she, uh, said I’m her good boy—” And that’s when he lost it, Derek’s arms around his shoulders while he cried honestly, like his mother had, because being a grown-up was hard, and sometimes love just fucking hurt, even if it was a good kind of pain.

T
HEY
DIDN
’
T
go to work immediately. Adam had apparently walked with Clopper, and in the middle of being half smothered by Finn’s mom and sister, he looked at his watch and said loudly, “Oh hell—ladies, I need to go. I’ve got to drop Clopper off before I go to work!”

Rico met eyes with Derek, who nodded. They stepped apart, and Derek handed Rico his handkerchief before calling smoothly, “We’ll take you home, Adam. We can drop you off at work too. We’ll get some lunch while we’re there.”

Adam shot him a look of pure relief—that turned immediately hunted when Mari said, “Great! We’ll see you all at River Burger. Finn’s working, and I can’t wait to tell him it all worked out!”

She and her mother took off across the lawn, waving as they trotted to their car.

Adam sighed and rubbed his eyes, then walked resignedly up to Rico and Derek. “Take your time,” he muttered. “I’ve got, like, an hour and a half—I so totally could have made it.”

Derek half laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, good. You need the practice if those are gonna be your in-laws.”

Adam groaned and shook his head. “God. Women. I got… I mean,
no
idea, you know?”

“And yet,” Rico said, laughing a little through the thickness in his head, “if he was straight, he’d be rolling around in them. They follow him
everywhere
.”

Adam shuddered—a full-out body shudder. “You’re mean,” he muttered. “Just… just piss mean. Let your boyfriend take me home, okay?”

“Not without me,” Rico returned, not because he was jealous but because their banter was doing a great job at bringing their world back to normal.

An hour later they pulled up to Candy Heaven and Adam hopped out. “You guys go on to River Burger. I’ve got to see what the schedule looks like anyway.”

“But what about Finn?” Rico asked.

Adam grimaced. “Tell him I’ll be by on my lunch break. Will I see you tonight?”

Rico glanced at Derek and nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be home after work.”

“That’s funny,” Adam muttered. “Neither of you
look
stupid, but whatever. I’m cooking. Be prepared for red meat and some sort of vegetable. Derek, you want some?”

Derek looked apologetic. “Sorry—actually, my sister’s husband texted this morning. He wants to go bond, so I’m going to go play on Dad’s company softball team tonight.”

Adam grunted. “Lucky,” he muttered.

“Well, I’ll tell Dad you’re open to a game,” Derek laughed. “He sort of thinks you’re a baseball god already.”

Adam shrugged and ran inside, apparently having taken as much family goodwill as one guy could possibly stand.

“Was that a no?” Derek asked, a little puzzled.

“That was a ‘he’d love to but he’s afraid to ask or get his hopes up,’” Rico said dryly. “Did you not just
meet
my family?”

Derek grunted and put the car in drive, the better to find a parking spot closer to River Burger. “We should do something nice for him and Finn,” he said thoughtfully. “Just… just because. Because he’s got to get used to people being good to him.”

Rico reached over and patted his knee. “I know I could get used to
you
being good to
me
,” he said, and only part of it was innuendo.

Derek slanted him a smile. “Yeah?”

Rico nodded. “God, could I.”

“Then we’ll do something nice for him, and I’ll do
lots
of nice stuff for you, how’s that?”

“I can’t thank you enough—you know that, right?”

Derek pulled the car up to a parking spot that God himself might have picked out, and slid right in. He hit the button for the top so they wouldn’t be leaving the car wide open, and as they sat in the idling car, waiting for the vinyl to obscure the too-bright sun, he grabbed Rico’s hand and kissed it, looking straight ahead. “You know what I didn’t say this weekend?”

“Stop, that hurts?”

Derek startled and then flashed him a giant grin. “Well, that too. But I didn’t say ‘I love you.’”

Rico’s breath caught in his chest.

“I love you, Rico. Your mom—she seems like a really classy lady. But she was right about one thing. You’ve always been a good boy. I… not
too
good,” he qualified rapidly, and then he looked at him head-on. “I just really love you. Does that scare you?”

Rico leaned forward and kissed him, just to seal it. “No. But you know what?”

“What?” Derek asked, but he smirked like he knew what was coming.

“Now that we’ve had sex in a bed, we’re not making out in the car. Let’s go get lunch!”

They enjoyed lunch. Mari and her mom told a simple version of what they’d talked about, the thing that had turned Rico’s mom around and given the heart of sweetness to what could have been a truly awful moment.

Turned out, they’d just explained things.