Bittersweet (34 page)

 

 

The Black and White Ball in the Elyssium Court was magnificent beyond description. Beings from every land and realm had come to witness our engagement. Hawthrin had been right. Since word had spread of our union, the relentless attacks had ceased. Now everyone wanted to see for themselves proof that our engagement was real. If we did nothing else tonight we had to convince them all that it was.

The plan was for Hawthrin to meet us here. I'd hoped he'd found an answer to the veil sealing. I'd almost finished what I'd come here to do. Only one more task remained.

Zanthiel extended his arm and I took a deep breath, smiled, and set my hand on his forearm. He led me into the ballroom of the Citadel Palace, an extravaganza like no other. The ceiling opened up to the starry night sky, revealing a kaleidoscope of fireworks in our honor. I almost felt guilty that we were deceiving them all.

Being back in Mythlandria was like coming home. A feeling that should have disturbed me under the circumstances. But the mood was very different in the Mythlandria Court of Elyssium this time. It was not the same festive wild party as the last time I'd been here. This time it was subdued. Lavish but formal. Everyone dressed in black and white, with the exception of the king, who wore a silver fur cape over his formal black and green attire.

The withered witch who'd given me her doomsday prediction was there as well, cowering in the shadows, unwilling to be seen anywhere near me, just in case our little secret should be found out. She needn't have worried. I had no intention of hanging around to chat with anyone. I was here to get the bounty off my head and that was it. But this party was at least in part for our benefit. Announcing my engagement to Zanthiel and the fulfilling of the prophecy meant that the bounty on my head would be revoked by the king who had issued it: King Etienne, Adrius and Julien's father. I'd made a habit of getting on the wrong side of parents lately, including my own, and in spite of everything, I was relieved to have one less royal out for my blood.

Zanthiel and I waited alongside the half-dozen knights and ladies-in-waiting Queen Mab sent from the Winter Court. A cluster of dignified elven lords came to usher us in place until we'd formed a long receiving line. I shuddered at how much it resembled a wedding reception. Was this what awaited Zanthiel and I next?

I smoothed the front of my black silk gown. The sheer layers of gauze overlaid shimmering layers of white tulle, and the corseted bodice matched the silver of Zanthiel's eyes.

I scanned the room, watching as elven nobles of the Mythlandrian Court of Elyssium and their guests of honor took turns lining up to greet Zanthiel and myself and the faerie nobles who'd accompanied us. We had representatives from all three courts. Zanthiel's mother wasn't among them, of course. She was likely too busy, plotting either our wedding or my beheading, to attend the pre-coronation event.
Another shudder.
I didn't expect to see her or my father here. In contrast to Mab, Oberon had made his position crystal clear, despite relinquishing his crown.

The most pressing thing on my mind was seeing Adrius. The need consumed me from the inside out. I needed to know if his feelings for Venus were genuine. Only then could I be free to move forward. Once the binding curse had been broken, I held no fantasies of a sappy reunion between us. Too much had passed for that. What I needed more than all else were answers. The truth. To know once and for all where things stood. If fate prevailed and I wound up with Zanthiel for all eternity, I had to know if there might have been another path for us, a way for us to find our way back to one another. Or if the feelings blooming for Zanthiel were meant to be all along.

Dozens of theories, ideas and fears wafted to mind, one more undesirable than the next. I didn't have the luxury of considering how I felt about being with him for a lifetime. I'd never laid out a plan for my life, and yet, I knew this wasn't right. I couldn't let this become my fate. Too much was at stake. And if Adrius turned out not to love Venus... then what? Would it change my decision to walk away? To give up being who and what I was in exchange for a mortal life with my humanity intact?

I needed my own plan. One which didn't involve me being pushed and pulled in a myriad of directions, forced into one terrible choice after another. I had to take matters into my own hands and for once make the best choice for me.

When the horns blared and the doors swung open a third time, I wanted to kick myself for not expecting to see what I saw.

Adrius.

And Venus.

Side by side.

They entered the hall, her arm draped casually over his as though it was natural for her to be there next to him. As though his feelings for her were actually real and not manipulated by magic.

My chest tightened as memories flooded back from seeing him again. He looked incredible. An elven knight dressed in midnight green from head to toe, with nothing but the glint of silver form his sword to reflect the light. Pain from my clenched teeth spread through my jaw.

Why
wasn't
I prepared for this?
Of course he
was
here. He
lives
here.
This was his home. I bit down on my lip. When I'd heard they were in Noctria, I'd just assumed they'd be staying there. I hadn't planned on seeing him until the ritual had been completed and he was free. Not like this, with Venus dripping from his arm as he greeted the guests of his court.

I swallowed and then sucked in a quick breath of courage just as the happy couple approached me.

“Zanthiel and Lorelei.” Venus bubbled. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

Zanthiel glared at them but offered a respectful nod since we were in Elvish Court. If he couldn't pull it off, he'd have to stop lecturing me on messing things up. Keeping things brief seemed like an easy out, so when a guest from Faery Court pushed in, he was more than willing to give him his attention. I tried to smile at Venus and Adrius, but I'm sure all I managed was a tight thin line with my lips.

Venus looked so happy. I wanted to vomit. Preferably all over her lacy dragonfly-wing shoes.

My gaze flicked to Adrius and then back to her before I nodded. “Thank you.” My tone was anything but celebratory. It wasn't until Taryn, the Elvin royal who befriended me on my last visit, nudged me, that I forced a more genuine smile.
Play the part. Act as if
it's true
. Make them believe.
I repeated the mantra in my head even as my hands clenched by my side and my shallow breaths didn't quite reach my lungs.

As much as I hated to admit it, Venus looked amazing. Dressed in a sheer floor-length gown of black gauze, dotted with tiny silver stars that glittered on their own, she looked like the future Queen of Mythlandria. The acid in my stomach start to churn. I hated that she was here, living the life I'd dreamed might be mine. Before I could stop her, she'd pulled me into an embrace and kissed both cheeks. Then she whispered in my ear as her fingers dug deep into my forearms.

“I told you I would win.”

My blood chilled as she released me and pressed on to greet the next in our line.

It left me standing there face-to-face with Adrius.

“Lorelei,” he said, sounding as though we'd only just been introduced.

Don't do that. Don't pretend it didn't exist. That none of it mattered.
My throat tightened. I nodded and gave a slight curtsy as instructed. As much as I wanted to run and hide or break down and cry over the vacant way he was looking at me, I had to keep playing the game if I was going to get out of here with my head.

I scanned his face for something, anything, to tell me what he was feeling or thinking. But I came up empty. He was always so good at shielding his emotions from me when he decided to. I'd almost convinced myself that he felt nothing at all until he shifted his gaze to Zanthiel.

There it was, that flash of anger. Of hatred. Of ancient rivalry. And… regret? Had I read it right, or was I seeing what I wanted to see?

Zanthiel nodded his head. “Lord Adrius,” he said darkly, his chin lifting slightly.

Adrius didn't greet him, but his lethal glare continued until Taryn cleared her throat and took hold of his arm and pulled him forward.

“Adrius, my lord, you're holding up the line. It's so good to see you have returned,” she said as she brushed kisses against both of his cheeks.

The rest of the evening passed by in a fog. I couldn't watch him openly, but I stole a few glances in between greeting the rest of the royals. He was rigid and he didn't smile at anyone. Venus, on the other hand, was acting as if it was a party in her honor.

All I wanted was to run over to him, pull him aside and force him to talk to me. To tell me what was going on. If he really wanted to be with her, then I'd let him go. But the fact that he was here with her…it wasn't real, it was magic.

Zanthiel caught hold of my hand and placed a small kiss on the back at the request of one of his fey noble kin. He was committed to this charade because he was committed to keeping me alive. Uncharacteristically, he'd followed Hawthrin and Taryn's directions to the letter. In that moment, I remembered my feelings for Zanthiel had begun because of magic, and they'd grown into something real, albeit undefined. Maybe it was the same for Adrius with Venus.

There was only one way to find out.

When the receiving line was finished and the king had officially announced the party portion of the evening had begun, and the pink faerie wine poured from floating crystal fountains, Zanthiel and I stepped aside out of the spotlight for a moment.

Despite the dark pretense, I felt like royalty already. I twirled in the gown King Etienne had sent for me, letting Zanthiel and several others get the full view. In spite of the circumstances, there was something magical about being back in Mythlandria Court for another ball, dressed in another ephemeral gown.

His silver eyes scanned me slowly from head to toe. Something flashed behind his icy exterior, but his only response was a curt nod.

A lump of disappointment filled my throat. Not that I'd expected any different, but a part of me had at least hoped for some reaction, after what had happened between us in his mother's greenhouse.

“Okay, spill it. What's wrong?”

“There is nothing wrong,” he spoke in the same distant tone he'd had with me since we left the Faery Islands.

“You've been surly and remote for days. Are you ever going to get past this? I did what I had to do to save you. I know you don't like it, but stop treating me like I'm the enemy here, Zanthiel. ‘Cause in case you haven't noticed,” I pointed discreetly at Venus, “I'm not.”

His cold eyes widened and then narrowed. “What is it you wish for me to be, Lorelei?”

“I don't know, how about truthful? You've been pretending that none of this matters. And it does matter. It's our lives, Zanthiel, of course it matters. Even to you. I wish you'd be honest with me.”

He angled his face to appraise me. “You want honesty? Right now?”

My throat tightened. “I've always wanted you to be honest.”

He bent at the waist to place his lips against my ear, his voice soft and cool. “I honesty find you utterly irresistible this evening. Which makes this charade all the more difficult to endure.”

Small tremors journeyed down the length of my spine. I looked up into his glistening eyes, and finding nothing but truth in them, I smiled.

With a dip of his head, he straightened regally and stepped away from me, putting some distance between us. He extended his hand and I took it, letting him lead us deeper into the room.

“I feel like I'm on display, like all eyes are on us. Even ones we can't see.” I scanned the crowd and nodded as a cluster of brightly winged fey waved at me. A house brownie wandered past, carrying a tray laden with sweets. I took one, more to be polite than because of actual hunger. I couldn't eat a thing, not with the butterflies tumbling in my stomach. Just as well, of course. One bite of the wrong food and I could easily find myself naked and howling at the moon.

Zanthiel's voice lowered as he dipped his head toward me. “We are being watched right now.” I turned my head, but Zanthiel clasped my chin. “Do not turn around,” he said firmly. Then facing me, he suddenly took hold of my shoulders.

“What are you doing?”

“For the sake of not losing our heads, you need to kiss me back and make it look good.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but there was no time, Zanthiel had pulled me into a tight embrace. Our eyes met briefly and for a long moment I was lost in them. But then his lips were crushed against mine, in a kiss that chilled me from the inside out. I stiffened in his arms, but then soon relaxed into it, letting my lips part to invite him further. His kiss deepened, but grew less intense, or perhaps I was just becoming more accustomed to the cold traveling through my veins like blood. And somewhere during our passionate fake embrace it became real, and I actually liked it. Sort of. That was when I pulled away, decreasing the intimacy between us.

I smiled, knowing full well my cheeks were red despite the chill I still carried on my skin. Zanthiel smiled, not his usual razored one, but a warm, genuine smile.

“Well done,” he whispered against my ear. “You almost had me believing it.”

I shivered. My physical responses to him hadn't diminished, regardless of the conflicted feelings I had for him.

There was a sudden round of applause and cheering, which grew in fervor to goblets and fists pounding on the tables. We both turned in surprise. Everyone had witnessed our kiss and had apparently bought it as genuine, and for reasons I couldn't begin to fathom, they were pleased.

Everyone, that is, except for Adrius. He stood across the room from us, leaning against the trunk of a tree whose branches and leaves formed a perfect arch. The stony look in his eyes said more than words ever could. I admit I'd tried a few times during the night to read him using the Inner Eye necklace, but he was still a seer and could protect his thoughts from me with ease.