Bittersweet Deceit (5 page)

A
t work on Tuesday, I looked into some lingerie wholesalers before the start of the day. I still wasn’t sure Bella Boutique had the right cliental to make selling lingerie profitable, however Samantha felt it might draw in a younger crowd.

“There is no
place close by that sells sexy bras and panties and forget about garters or a bustier,” Sam said,
with her hands on her hips, looking very much like Jacqs, albeit much taller than my pint-sized best friend. “And it’s not like I’m suggesting we carry sex toys or anything like that.”

“Good, because that would be a definite no. When I place
the next order, we will go through and choose a few items to start with. I thought maybe the right kind of bras for some of the more revealing dresses with matching panties.”

“Perfect,” she said, clapping her hands. “Clothing discount, here I come!”

“Very funny,” I said, smiling at her enthusiasm.

We had a busy Tuesday, which I chalked up to the impending Easter holiday.

“I’ll close up tonight,” I said, “if you don’t mind closing tomorrow. I’m planning to go to Red’s a bit early and maybe go for a swim with Jacqs.”

“That’s fine,” Sam said, printing out the credit card purchases for the day. “I
’ll stop home, tuck in Sarah, and head over myself. Lainie, I think I hear your phone.”

I
hurried to the back and when I saw I had text from Jacqs, I lowered my shoulders.

Jacqueline:
Still on for tomorrow? Please tell Sam I’ll see her at Mom’s house in a few. Did she forget to turn her phone back on?

Me
:
Definitely on for tomorrow. Sam will close up. I’ll tell her and remind her.

Jacq
ueline:
Later, girl.

Me
:
Later.

“That was your sister,” I said, taking the daily printout from Samantha. “She will see you at Mom’s. She says to turn your phone back on.”

“Thanks. She knows she can call the shop if she needs me, especially after hours.”

“I’ll leave that for you to remind her. You were great today, Sam. I can’t believe you talked that husband into buying his wife the ruched, one-piece bathing suit in three colors.”

“Well, I only told the truth. It fit her body perfectly,
accentuating her gifts and hiding the flaws.”

“Thank you for doing such a great job. It’s a pleasure having you here.”

“Lainie, this job has really saved me and you know that. I will be forever grateful.”

I felt awkward standing there with my arms at my sides. “
Hey, why don’t you take off and I’ll finish up and please tell your mother hello from me.”

“
Okay cool. I’ll definitely tell her. Thanks a million.”

As Samantha gathered her belongings and headed out the back, I heard a familiar voice greet her.
They exchanged hellos.

“Look at you
, woman!” Cat said when she blew around the corner, reaching her arms out for a hug as she approached the counter.

She had a lithe body and blue-black hair cut in a long
, angled bob. Her dark-black eyeliner came to a point, and her smoky eye shadow and pink lipstick finished off the look—a mix of fashion forward and punk girl. That night she showed up in her gothic garb: a black, cut and tied T-shirt she had altered herself, a short, plaid skirt, and her crazy knee-high boots with all the buckles. She percolated with energy and seemed to be in constant motion, as was her usual way, unless she’s had a couple of drinks.

“
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had gotten laid recently,” Cat said, scanning me up and down. “You’re looking sexy today.”

“Um
, thanks?”

“
You have the best clothes here, Lane. Love the red leather skirt you’re wearing. Have it in my size?”

“Of course I do. We just got an order in yesterday. However, if you
’re dropping in out of the blue ... something’s up.”

She sighed heavily and followed me to the back.

“Did you and Kev have another fight?” I sat down in front of my computer to input the numbers for the day.

She perched on the side of the desk
and bounced her right knee. “No, it’s just that he wants me to give up my apartment. I mean, I’m never there and we could use the extra money but...”

“But?” I said,
raising my eyebrow and peering up.

“Sometimes I think he’s just too nice.”

“What the hell does that mean? Not aggressive enough sexually or he always lets you have your way?”

“Well ... I don’t know. No to either, really. Sexually,
we switch and that works for both of us.”

“Oh,
really now?”

She smacked my arm and we both laughed.

“Come on, Cat. You are the most feminine Domme I have ever known. Actually, you are the only Domme I know.” I chuckled. “I guess I just imagine the women to be bigger and tougher.”

“Don’t kid yourself, I can be tough.”
She stood and paced a few steps.

I shook my head and said, “No doubt. So if it’s
not the sex and getting your way— I just had a thought.”

“What?” She
stepped around to the other side of the desk, and ran her fingers along the papers in stacks upon the shelf. “Are you always this neat?”

“Clutter drives me crazy and I like to be able to find what I’m looking for quickly.”

“You should come over to my place and help me get organized. That’s part of why I like having my place. I have my own space for my clutter.”

“Could it be that you think you
don’t deserve Kevin’s love?”

“Now you’re sounding like Jacqs.” Cat crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall by the desk.

“Jacqs has a good sense of these things. I know what your mother is like, and I can relate. Don’t let her judgment of you impact your relationship with Kev. Here’s my advice. Let his love in. Stop fighting against it. The man’s devoted to you and lets you be you. What more do you want?”
And he’s not married,
I thought.

“But I can be a cranky
bitch sometimes. And he still—”

“
Loves you? We all have our moods.” I stopped typing and caught her eye, “You have that look Cat. Don’t do something stupid.”

“
Yeah, I know, I know. Thanks, Lainie. I won’t.” She pushed off the wall and perch on the corner of the desk again.

“Good. Is the atmosphere at Babes in Tattooland any better?”

She rose again and strolled around touching different items in the office. “The owner finally had the good sense to hire a female manager named Dallas. I never could understand having an all-female tattoo shop with a male manager? Dallas is great. Tracy on the other hand continues to be a raving bitch. At least her station isn’t right next to mine anymore. However she still tries to pilfer the walk-ins when it’s my turn.”

She turned back
, faced me, and continued, “Oh yeah get this, I overheard her complain to Dallas that I shouldn’t be allowed to work there because I don’t have a single tattoo.” Cat laughed and said, “Dallas said to her that having tattoo’s on your body doesn’t make you a good artist. If it did, Tracy would be the best. She didn’t say that last part.” She sat in the extra chair, crossed her legs, and shook her right foot.

“How do you manage to sit still for so long while you’re working?” I asked, watching her bounce around.

“It calms me.”

“That’s good. I’m with you on needles; I avoid pain at all costs.
I’m happy to hear the new manager’s on your side.”

“
Yeah. You know, Lane, I love the work. I get paid well and I still get to do my art. Kev’s not into tattoos anyway. I mean I’m not saying that would necessarily stop me, but the pain certainly does.” She hopped out of the chair and said, “I know you’re closed out for the night, but can I shop and you charge my card tomorrow?”

“Of course.”



A
fter my nightly ritual of a cigarette and TV, I debated emailing Mason. I never knew if a text or call might show up at the wrong time so I stuck to email while he was in town. I decided to hold out and instead I wrote in my journal for a while and crashed for the night.

My phone sounded, jarring me awake from a de
ep sleep.

MM:
I’m sorry you haven’t heard from me sooner. You know how Victoria can be once I get back from a trip. I miss you so much. I need to hear your voice. Can I call you?

I stared at the message, willing myself to deny him. No such discipline.

Me:
Okay.

A couple of heartbeats past and then my phone rang.

“Hunan Chinese takeout, what is your order
please,” I said pinching off my nose and using my best Chinese accent.

“Very funny, silly woman,” he whispered. “Damn it’s good
to be able to talk to you.”

“Where are you calling from?”

“The bathroom downstairs. I’ve missed you so much. I can’t believe it’s only been two days. Please tell me you’re free tomorrow evening.”

“Well
, I ... when were you thinking?”

“Six or Seven. I already told Victoria I
have a client meeting. Please let me come over.”

I sat up in the bed and hung
my legs over the side.
“Fuck,” I breathed out silently. “I’m supposed to be meeting up with Jacqs and then hanging out with the gang.”

“Baby, please consider rescheduling. This weekend might be crazy
, and I have long days with a new CEO Thursday and Friday.”

“I’ll talk to Jacqs tomorrow. It’s already late.”

“Thank you, babe. I
need
to see you tomorrow.”

“
I’ll think about it. It’s good to hear from you, but I would have appreciated a text, a note, something from you yesterday. I felt like a stupid woman checking her phone and email obsessively.”

“I’m sorry it took so long.
I promise you were on my mind every second of the day.” The tenor of his voice became deeper when he asked, “What are you wearing?”

“Mason,”
I stammered.

“Come on, baby, help me out here.”

“Boy shorts and a T-shirt.”

“I bet your long legs look
amazing. Why don’t you lay back for me and get comfortable.”

“Shouldn’t you be getting back upstairs?”

“Shh. Just listen to my voice and do what I say,” he said in a gentle whisper that still conveyed his authority.

“Okay...”
I put his call on speaker and set it down on the end table. I pulled off my top and shorts, folded them neatly, and set them to the side. Just resting back against my pillow and waiting for his instructions stimulated my body. Mason always seemed to be pushing me to try something new and although I resisted at first, I always
ended up experiencing abundant pleasure. What had happened to the woman who would have picked missionary sex every time? He had somehow eradicated her.

“
Close your eyes ... imagine that your hand is mine and follow my voice.”

“Mmmhmm,” I muttered
as my eyes shut.

“
Imagine me cuddling you in close and hearing your soft moans and sighs as I trail my hand across your cheek just before I devour your lip, sucking it into my mouth.”

I bit my lower lip without thinking, listening as his gravely masculine voice
washed over me as if caressing my naked body.

“
Feel my hand tickle down your neck followed by nips of my teeth. You pull away and laugh, like you always do and say, ‘that tickles.’”

I could almost feel him t
here, breathing against my neck, surrounding me in the warmth of his body and love. As he continued to serenade me with his voice, my hands massaged the swell of my breasts working toward the taunt peaks.

“Wet the very tips of your nipples and breathe
across them,” he whispered, making his voice all the more seductive.

I groaned softly
at his command.

“Good girl, I bet your pussy is already dripping for me. Let’s tease
it a little longer, shall we?”

I grunted and he chuckled.

“Don’t worry, love, I plan to allow you to come in due time. Is that phallic vibrator still in your nightstand?”

My eyes flew open and the heat of embarrassment shot across my skin. “How did you—”

“I bet you’re as red as a beet right now.” I could hear the mirth in his voice. “I was looking for tissues one evening and saw it. It’s impressive. Does the curved end hit your G-spot just right?”