Bittersweet Revenge (5 page)

“I need to do a general power of attorney quickly. I have a living will, but don’t have anything else. Would you be my designee, please? It won’t cost you anything. I will call my secretary and ask her to prepare one and bring it to me for my signature. It will give you power over everything and I wouldn’t think of having even minor surgery with anesthetic before having that taken care of, okay?” 

Brenda was frantically shaking her head yes.

“Thank you. You don’t have to do anything but keep a copy of it with you just in case -- until we get through this.”

Alison put her head back on the pillow, tired, realizing she had it all under control, all but her emotions and anger toward Rick. Brenda stayed a bit longer and was just ready to leave when the doctor came back. Alison introduced them, then Brenda gave her a hug and said she would see her tomorrow. Brenda would head over to Alison’s apartment now and get what she needed.

Doctor Kurtane confirmed that they would do tests first thing in the morning, hoping Alison would rest tonight without any pain and they would keep a close eye on her. Alison advised her of legal documents to be done first thing in the morning, that without those she would not have any surgical procedures, but would not delay so as to jeopardize herself in any way. They talked for awhile, then an aide appeared with a food tray and Alison realized she really was very hungry. The doctor said she would see her later and left.

Alison made a face when she saw the dinner tray of a chicken broth, noodles, jello, pudding -- the disgusting light diet that hospitals were famous for. She ate everything on the tray, then turned on the television to hear the evening news. Within a few minutes, she faded into a light sleep, to awaken later to a smell rather than a sound.

She looked up and there was her boss, kind of hovering, not wanting to disturb her, a smile lighting his face when he realized Alison recognized him.

“Mike, oh, I’m so glad you came up. Thank you. Hi. Miss me yet?” She reached out to give him a big hug. 

“Gee, whatever answer I give, I’m in trouble, I think. Hey, you, are you okay? Going to be okay? What the hell did you eat and where? I want to be sure to avoid that place.”

“Well, I know it wasn’t the disgusting meal I just had of broth and jello. Yucky.”

“Ali, what can I do, seriously, what do you need? Time? Money? What?” 

“Probably just time; not money, but thanks. I will tell you the truth but it has to stay with you forever and always. I have an ectopic pregnancy.” 

She watched his face and realized he had no idea she’d even been in a relationship what with the holidays, etc.

“Okay. Here’s the skinny. I met someone around Thanksgiving, introduced by a friend. He was in town for the month of December and we had a fling. He said he loved me and I fell in love with him, too. It was incredible. He left to spend the holidays with his family and I never heard from him again. By the end of January, I learned he’d married the woman he’d been engaged to for almost a year. Not a word from him. At the same time, I realized I was pregnant and was in a waiting time for a few days when I was struck down by pain in the office today. It saved me from having to decide about an abortion. That’s the story, Mike, the whole story. And I would prefer that anyone else think it’s food poisoning or appendicitis, okay?”

He reached down and gave her another big hug, which she loved and held on to him as if he were a life preserver.

“Well, you’ll probably love what I brought you.”

He reached into the white bag and pulled out a chicken salad sandwich on dark rye, a container of cole slaw and a container with a gorgeous piece of white cheese cake. Her face lit up like a kid at Christmas and she had tears in her eyes when she hugged him again and said thank you.

“I’d better hide this stuff, though the smell may lead all sorts of people down here. You made my day. I am grateful. So can I have a couple weeks off?” Then she started to laugh, a rather hysterical laugh under the circumstances.

“You can have as much time as you need. A non issue. Do you want to go to the mountains? Oh, maybe you can’t drive. Whatever you need, just say the word, okay? And your secret is safe with me. I’m so sorry, Alison. I really am. Are you okay with insurance, etc.?”

“Yes, and my closest friend is having Gina take care of power of attorney first thing in the morning. I have a living will, but didn’t have a POA, so that will be done. I won’t have a surgical procedure without that. Thanks, Mike, really, thank you for everything. I will be okay.”

She reached out to hug him again, knowing she had exhausted the hug thing. He backed out of the room waving goodbye. 

“I’ll check on you, okay. Take care and you will be fine.” He blew her a kiss and turned around to leave.

Alison couldn’t wait to dig into the goodies he’d brought her, grateful to have something to fill her tummy besides that red jello she’d eaten an hour earlier.

She saved the cheesecake for later and tucked it into the drawer of the nightstand next to her bed. Over her dead body would anyone get that. 

At the last bite, she rolled the bag and wrappers into a tiny ball and dropped it into the wastebasket, glad she’d gotten through the meal without someone coming in.

She slept, awakened by a nurse at midnight for a pain shot and taking her temperature. Hospitals were not the place to get any kind of rest, she knew that, but she did go right back to sleep until 4:00 a.m. She was hungry and remembered the cheesecake in the nightstand, which she then enjoyed. Unable to fall back to sleep, finding the remote control to turn the TV on, she realized the late shows were really late and settled into watching someone she’d never seen before. That was enough to help her fall back to sleep until the next shift showed up to take her temperature and ask a million questions.

Chapter Eight

Doctors conferred on rounds and the gynecologist conferred with her. Her secretary came by with the power of attorney to Brenda, which gave Alison great relief. Once it quieted down, Alison knew she should probably phone her parents and let them know that even though she’s in the hospital, she is okay and will be home in a day or so. Her dad had a way of sometimes dropping in when on a business trip to San Francisco, so she wanted to head off that possibility.

Brenda came by with everything Ali had asked for and spent a few minutes. They talked about Mike’s visit last night and his genuine concern for her. Brenda couldn’t believe he’d actually taken time to stop and get her the food, but was pleased.

Doctor Kurtane explained that they would do an ultra sound this morning and, depending on that outcome, decide about the laparoscopic surgery. She felt that Alison was calm enough at this point to deal with the reality and assured her it would probably be the only solution given the lab work results, which showed an elevated white blood count.

Alison begged for real food for dinner and got her wish, if you consider meat loaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green beans real food. By the time she washed up a bit with the help of an aide, she was tired and settled in for the night.

But she dreamt about Rick all night, which kept awakening her. She could smell him and hear his voice. And she could feel him inside of her and it made her angry. She finally asked for something to help her sleep and drifted off to uninterrupted slumber until almost 7:00 a.m. 

The surgery went well. She was awake for the entire procedure, then slumbered off while in recovery for two hours. When she got back to her room, Brenda was waiting for her. Her room was filled with several floral arrangements that had been delivered that morning and Brenda was anxious to convey messages from Alison’s mother. 

“Hey, girlfriend, how are you feeling? Are you okay?” 

“Hi, yourself, girlfriend. I’m okay, but glad it’s over with. It was real surgery. So what did my mother say? She doesn’t know, does she?” 

“No, she thinks you had your appendix out. It just seemed the easiest way to go at the time. She’s comfortable with that, said she didn’t even realize you still had your appendix. So if you want to tell her some day, it’s up to you, but she’s satisfied for now.” Brenda chuckled.

“Actually, that’s good. We should just tell everyone that, okay, especially at work. You can call my secretary and that can be the story. Mike will go along with whatever is said and he’s the only one that knows at the firm.” 

Alison shifted her body in the bed and realized how much she hurt, knew she wasn’t going far for a couple of days. 

“This has more credibility cause no one stays in the hospital this long for just food poisoning, so it’s good. Your mother said she will call you in the morning or you can call her if you wish to. I told her you have your cell phone with you, but not really answering it. So do what you are comfortable with. I’ve made arrangements to spend a couple of days with you when you go home, no arguments. But the condition is that I get to go through your freezer and food pantry.” 

The doctor appeared and Alison again introduced her to Brenda, said she could talk in front of her. The surgery had gone well, Alison would be fine in a few days but was cautioned to take it easy for a couple of weeks, maybe a month before jogging again, then slowly back into her routine. The three of them chatted for a bit, the doctor left, and Brenda said good night with a hug.

Alison was definitely ready to sleep then and rang for a nurse to get the meds over with and not be bothered later with the usual temp, blood pressure and med check.

Two days later, she was home in her own bed and it was all but a memory. 

No, that’s not quite true. It was a memory but not one she wanted to revisit very often. She didn’t tell Brenda that the doctors told her she’d never be able to have children, that for some reason any pregnancy for her would be an ectopic one. While in the operating room, she gave them permission to tie her tubes so there would never be risk again.

Not that she’d be having sex any time soon. 

Chapter Nine

Three months later, Alison was feeling unsettled even though she’d been very happy to get back to work, to start jogging again, and in general feel good. It also meant she had put the time with Rick behind her. She wasn’t sure why she felt restless, but was aware of the feelings especially when she was out with friends for dinner or a movie.

She couldn’t concentrate, mind wouldn’t focus, and running wasn’t helping matters any. After a month, she decided it might be time to see a therapist, but she didn’t want to go through her health plan. There was someone in Berkeley she’d known about for a long time and phoned her to make an appointment, saying she would pay outside of her insurance plan.

Susan Josner was a kind and gentle woman, no nonsense, and Alison knew from a friend that she could be relied upon to not poo-poo anything Alison was feeling. For someone who had her life so in control all the time, it was difficult to acknowledge that she was out of control.

Which was exactly the point Susan made. Alison had always been in control and the relationship with Rick took that away from her. When he abandoned her with no explanation and she learned the truth, it was very much like a death of a spouse, that’s how intense the relationship had been. Alison knew Susan was right and appreciated having the perspective. It also meant that Alison had to acknowledge that she probably had not fully dealt with her anger, and that is not always easy to do. It is much like losing a spouse and being angry for the spouse dying.

“Hello, in Heaven, can you hear me? I’m angry with you. How dare you die and leave me alone.” 

They derived a simple plan, that Alison had to get off her controlled scheduled more and not be so stuck, do more things in a spontaneous way, and that would probably make her feel better. It was also spring and that, too, would make a difference.

Money well spent. 

Alison decided that since she had a rental car for the day, why go back home, instead spend some time in Berkeley at places she hadn’t been to in years. It was a great day and she realized that Susan was right, more spontaneous fun, less planned and locked in schedules. She even thought about buying a car, but realized that not to be very practical. Why spend money for a car that sits in the garage 25 days out of 30. 

She did, however, make a decision that had been pointed out to her a couple of times while recalling conversations with her mother – that it was time for a visit to Phoenix to see her parents. On a whim, she phoned her mother and asked if it would be convenient to visit this coming weekend.

Alison arranged to keep the car, stopped at the rental office and redid the contract and price, then went home and packed some things to be ready to leave in the morning. She called the office and talked with Mike, knowing it would not be a problem as they had just finished a trial and they could live without her. She called Brenda to see if there was any interest in going with Alison.

“You have got to be kidding? Me? Deal with your mother? I don’t think so. Thanks any way. Have a good trip; let me know when you’re back.” 

They chatted a few more minutes, laughed, then said goodbye. Alison knew there wasn’t enough money on earth to convince Brenda to go along, but it was okay, she was ready to handle it by herself.

Alison’s parents were what you would call easterners who were frustrated to no end with the casualness of the western lifestyle. And if you think Phoenix offended them, don’t get them on the subject of life in San Francisco. They had both been borne into wealth and never quite adjusted to people with different lifestyles, but they were not cruel about it, just didn’t understand. Alison had fought this her entire life and kept her parents as far away from her friends as possible. A couple of men she’d dated had been so put off by the “grilling of status” they’d received when Alison still lived at home that she never again had a date pick her up at home.