Black Dawn (13 page)

His warm breaths caressed her lips. “I don’t think it works like that.”

“Please,” she whispered then let her eyes close again.

Lexi soaked in all that was Parker. His scent. His strength. The rise and fall of his carved chest and his flat, hard stomach touching hers. Blood rushed in her ears and raced at her pulse. He shifted, and she almost moaned, craving his kiss.

His mouth brushed against hers. The touch was so soft, yet a rush of emotion and arousal tornadoed inside her. She went boneless. His lips were so right, so absolutely perfectly beautiful that she forgot to do more than just exist. She memorized his taste as he urged her to open, letting his tongue tease hers. His hands held her as though she was precious yet unbreakable as his fingers flexed into her back.

Every time she’d dreamed about his kiss, her most spectacular thoughts were nothing like this. He leaned into her, angling her head, deepening their kiss—

Until he pulled back hard, holding her steady.

She gasped, almost crying for his kiss again. “Wh-what?”

But that look on his face—it was the worst. Regret.

***

“I think we need some space.” Parker hated himself on several levels for saying that, but it was the only thing he could do. Kissing Lexi changed everything— it put into action the wants and needs he’d harbored and always ignored.

Beautiful blue eyes broke before him. His gut twisted. Unease that he couldn’t articulate flooded his body because everything about her was amazing, but fragile, and he wouldn’t be responsible for hurting her.

“But—” she stopped herself.

“Not because I…” He had no idea how to finish that thought. No idea what to say.

Not because he didn’t want her kisses and so much more. That wicked tongue of hers would lead them straight to his bedroom, and—he blew out a harsh breath—he wanted it all. He wanted to hear her breathy moans against his neck and feel her come while he was planted deep in the woman blushing before him.

Damn it.

Another frustrated breath burned from his lungs. Screwing her would mess up their situation. When he had her, it wouldn’t be because she was lost or because she thought she’d found a savior with a hot shower who’d rescued her from a shitty day.
When he had her?

Lexi shook her head, blond hair cascading over her cheeks. “That was stupid, sorry.”

Her doubt was like salt in the emotional wound he couldn’t see but was shredding him. “Don’t be like that. I just can’t go there right now.”

With a tilt of her head, her eyes cast up. Bacon rolled on the ground, making a sound like she was playing dead. So even the dog didn’t buy his line. With each passing second, he regretted that they weren’t on the way to his bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes.

“Okay.” Her eye lashes fluttered, making his chest seize up.

Any more time with her, and he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back. “Maybe you should get some sleep. A nap or something. Or dinner? What do you need?”

“A nap or dinner…” she repeated, sounding too sad. But that passed, and something unsteady appeared on her bruised face. “I’m not really hungry. Why are you being so nice to me?”

Her confusion slayed him. “Because you feel the need to ask that question.” He inched closer, teasing himself with the idea that another inch wouldn’t be too much. “I don’t want to leave you alone, Lex, but I don’t trust myself. Not with you, not after that kiss.”

“But—”

“We’ve always had a good reason not to cross the line. And now…” He inclined his head. “I think that reason’s gone.”

She nodded, relief in her eyes, and held up her ringless hand. “Gone.”

Parker needed to step away but couldn’t force his feet to make the moves. He swallowed, but his throat ached. “I’m trying to be the good guy. Please get some sleep.”

She didn’t budge, tempting him.

“Or…” He pulled the one weapon he thought he might have. “You can explain how you ended up on my steps, calling my number, if Matt didn’t leave you here.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Lexi blinked at Parker, more tongue-tied than before and unwilling to share that she’d hacked Matt’s phone contact list, got Parker’s number, then back-hacked that to see what his billing and mailing addresses were. No one wanted to sound like a genius stalker. The process had taken all of five seconds, maybe longer since she was hunkered at a gas station, piggybacking off the Wi-Fi on someone’s phone. But she wouldn’t explain any of that. It made better sense for him to think she’d just stolen his info from Matt’s phone.

She stepped away, backing up more from his question than anything else. “I forgot, I have to send an email for work.”

His eyes narrowed, and he worked his jaw as if he was choking on the word
bullshit
. “Alright.”

With that, she grabbed her computer and held it to her chest like body armor. “Then I will take a nap. I really appreciate it.”

With that same intense scrutiny, he nodded silently and led her out of the kitchen. At the door of his bedroom, Parker waved. “If you need anything…”

She watched his throat bob, noticing how thick his neck and strong his shoulders were. Whether wanting him made her worthy of wearing a scarlet letter—
no
. She and Matt were over. They’d been done before he kicked her butt then kicked her out. Remembering the last twenty-four hours made her skin crawl. Matt had tossed her around, dragged her upstairs, and thrown her back down. And Bacon. That poor dog had done so much over the last few weeks to stop him. The second Matt had passed out, Lexi ran.

She pulled herself out of her thoughts, vaguely aware of Parker staring at her as though he’d been speaking.

“Lex? You okay? Need the internet password or whatever?”

“I’m good. Thanks, again.”

Kissing Parker, doing
whatever
with Parker was fine. She shouldn’t worry about strings or complications. Though the abrupt way he’d pushed away from her had been unexpected.

At least she was safe and warm. She could fire up her laptop without complaints from a nasty drunk peanut gallery. Shadow needed files, and she needed to use her laptop’s hotspot to send her broker an update. Parker’s house wasn’t the ideal place to send mega-sensitive documents, but as long as she could get Shadow the word that the files were heading his way, it’d be okay.

Parker guided through his room and to an alcove off the side of the master bedroom. “You can work here if you want.”

His house was large and expansive,
expensive
, and the area he motioned to had probably been designed for some rich housewife to lounge and dress while sipping on some fruity wine spritzer or something. But he’d turned it into a sleek office with more bells and whistles than she could have dreamed of. Some people had food porn, others had real porn, but this was hacker porn. Holy shit. Everything was turned off, and there was a fingerprint and retina scanner. Her pulse jumped from just looking at the four monitors stacked two on top of two and back lit. There were two sets of ergo-keyboards.

She was hiding her inner geek as best she could, but seriously… “This is some crazy shit, Parker.”

He rolled the chair back and still studied her. “Here you go, all yours. Quiet work space. Do whatever you need to do.”

If it was all hers, she wouldn’t let someone else even breathe on the computing power before her. “I can just work on the…” She’d almost said bed. How presumptuous. Except he was bringing her in there to sleep and work. Oh God, now she really was having a hard time taking a steady breath. They were like
the
two most intimate places she could be: in a man’s bed and in his personal office—even if it was locked down like Ft. Knox on steroids. That seemed like a lot of trust.

“Feel free. Whatever you need. I’ll take this and be out of your hair.” He unplugged his laptop from a docking station and tapped the back of his chair. “Work and relax. Deal?”

All in all, she was transfixed by the setup and by the man. “Really appreciate it.”

“Alright then.”

The room was big enough that he could have put a dozen feet between them as he left. Instead, he walked right to her, his long strides eating the space between them and sucking the oxygen out of her lungs. He tossed his laptop on the bed and stopped in front of her, and Parker gripped her shoulders and slid his palms to her elbows. His thumbs stroked over the sweatshirt, and she would’ve died had his hand been on her skin instead.

Hoping she didn’t show how desperate she was for his touch, she said, “I haven’t always been this fragile girl who needs to be saved.”

“I know. I didn’t meet you today.”

Two years of watching him from afar. “I know.”

“You might be the most interesting woman I’ve ever met.”

She stepped back, nervous, but couldn’t get far because his hold on her tightened. “Why?”

“There are a lot of things about you that I can’t explain. I’ve known you, liked you, been interested in you, but now…”

Her mind raced. She could just tell him how she pictured herself, who she was and wanted to be. What she did for a living, or even her current project. Even Parker might have trouble understanding though. Laymen learned about the zero day market and thought it was illegal. But he seemed on the up-and-up with all things techy.

She could explain her work in vague terms. Given what he’d seen and said so far, he wouldn’t tease her or break out the name-calling. No nerd girl titles from Parker, who was up to speed in giving nerd-girl-gasms—because she still couldn’t get over his setup.

But her hesitation was still there. Damn Matt for screwing up her head. She just felt so broken. “Well, see, I, uh—”

“Don’t.” Parker shook his head. “I’m curious. Didn’t say I needed an answer now. Just that I plan on figuring you out.” His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb sweeping from her cheekbone to the corner of her mouth.

“Oh,” she sighed, almost nuzzling his hand like a damn cat.

He took the warm touch away and left her alone, mouth agape and hand wanting to reach out to stop him. Damn. Parker wanted to figure her out? Holy swoonballs! If she was interesting, Parker Black was the most intense man she’d ever met.

Quickly, she went to her computer, trying to shake the tingling feeling that hung in her limbs. Once she was in her email, she typed a message to Shadow.

Monarch is complete, and Matt and I are done. Big day for me, huh? Thought you’d be proud on both accounts. But because of the Matt situation, I’m on the road and not comfortable transmitting the files. Don’t hate. :) Be in touch soon. Xx

Perfect. She hit send, double-checked that it went through, then powered down her laptop. The reliable machine went silent as it turned off, and she was completely aware of how alone she was in Parker’s room. A nap—she needed one and had promised him that she’d try. She must need the rest if he was so adamant she get some sleep.

A nap
in his bed
though. Obviously he didn’t realize that would likely mean absolutely no sleep. She’d sooner get rest on the tile floor of his bathroom with towels as a pillow. The man
did
have heated floors in his bathroom, so that wouldn’t be a huge hardship.

Lexi trailed her finger along the smooth wood headboard. Parker’s bed was so Parker. Dark sheets. Dark furniture. Big, strong, but somehow refined. The carved wood was sleek and inherently masculine. Powerful. His bedroom smelled slightly more of him, but his sheets… her hand slipped from the wood to smooth over the pillowcase and sheets.

God. Her stomach flipped, and carefully, almost as if she were savoring the moment, she crawled onto the king-size mattress and fell into Egyptian cotton heaven, thread count a billion.

There was no way she would get any sleep. Her pulse thundered in her throat, and even now, all alone, she didn’t feel as though she could take a deep breath. He’d been gone for twenty minutes at least, and her mind was still entirely focused on Parker. Whose clothes she wore, whose bed she was in, and whose kiss stayed on her lips. Lexi pressed her fingers to her lips. That had been the sweetest, deepest kiss of her whole life, and despite how he’d pulled from her, it was also one of the most empowering moments she could remember.

Her phone buzzed.

Parker:
You’re not sleeping

Lexi:
How would you know

Parker:
Assumed

Parker:
Sleep…

Lexi:
I can’t if you keep texting me

She couldn’t break the smile from her face. He was flirting with her while she lay in his bed. In what universe was this happening?

Parker:
Sleep yet?

Lexi:
Sigh. I’m trying

Parker:
Buzz me if you need anything

Lexi:
Thx 1.0E6

Lexi:
Sorry. Thanks a million. It’s a work thing. Never mind. Thx for tonight.

Parker:
Know what it means, sweetheart. Sleep.