Authors: Colin Dunne
There was only one thing to do. Try it.
'What I don't understand is this, Palli,' I said. I didn't have to act drunk. This was Method School where you have to live the part.
'Whassat?' He had one eye closed to focus on me. The girl had gone.
'This.' I wanted to bring the badge and the man together in one sentence for maximum impact and with the state my brain was in it wasn't easy work. But eventually I got there. I took a deep breath. 'If your buddy Oscar Murphy had got his helicopter wings and was doing so well, why the hell did he want to quit the marines like that?'
His face registered a hull's eye.
Show me a conclusion and I'll jump to it. If had a family, that'd be the motto.
24
As soon as he picked up the phone, I went straight into my nasal-yankee voice. 'You gotta Mr Vale there?'
'Jack Vale speaking,' he said, in that mellifluous Edinburgh accent that made the rest of the English-speaking world sound like wood-smeared savages. 'Can I help you?'
'Sure you can, Vale, unless you wanna wind up at the bottom of the river with a nickelodeon around your neck. You can keep your stinkin' hands off my wife.'
A long pause followed. After all, it was five in the morning in New York.
'Behind that atrocious imitation of the great Mr James Cagney, I do believe I detect the unmistakeable voice of an old friend. How are you, Sam? And what do you mean by attempting such clumsy deceptions at this hour of the night?' Since he went to freelance in New York ten years ago, I'd rung Jack about once a year, in a variety of causes and accents.
I'd never survived the first minute without being spotted.
'Just testing, Jack. I was wondering if you could check something out for me.'
'Do you have to tell me now? Oh, it doesn't matter, I'm awake. Who's it for?'
'Grimm's sunny stories.'
'Surely you're not reduced to that, are you? Tell me the worst then. But I warn you, under no circumstances will I even contemplate doing Sexy Secrets of the Stars again.'
I told him. He didn't sound too hopeful.
'Jamaica's out by the airport. He works in a muffler shop, you say?'
'Yes. I assume that's a place where Americans buy colourful woollen scarves to keep the cold out, isn't it Jack?'
He gave a sigh of elaborate weariness. 'You don't assume anything of the sort. But I must tell you that there are hundreds of those back-street exhaust centres - as you would put it, in your quaint British way. However, leave it with me.'
We were finishing off all that whatever-happened-to-old thingy when I saw Christopher coming in through Hulda's door. Five minutes later he was having breakfast with me and rabbiting away with Hulda in Icelandic.
'Absolutely delicious,' he enthused, smearing what looked like jellied seal on to his toast. He made his finger and thumb into that Gallic ring of approval. 'Superb, Hulda, superb. Try some, Sam. It's a sort of potted lamb.'
I'd been tucking mine away behind the geraniums but now I didn't have any choice. He was right. It was delicious.
'If it wants to get eaten, why does it go round looking like that?'
'Don't be so squeamish,' he said. Then he rhapsodised some more at Hulda. She was presiding- no lesser word would cover it - at the head of the table, delighted at last to have an appreciative audience for her efforts.
When she spoke back to him, in Icelandic of course, I knew what she'd be saying by the formal way she tilted her head.
'You really ought to learn some of the language,' Christopher said to me. 'You miss so much.'
'Oh, I wouldn't say that. She just told you that it was her duty and her pleasure.'
His head spun towards me. 'Gosh, you do after all.'
'Sam knows me too well,' Hulda said, and they both laughed. I might've fooled him but I couldn't kid Hulda for long.
When she went through to the kitchen, Christopher began to talk seriously. He'd heard about Solrun's mother when he got back from the north the previous night. Even at second-hand, he was horrified by what had happened, which set me wondering if he could be Batty's man sent along to throw me a lifeline. There was his nose: surely that would pass as credentials for one of the shadier trades.
What he wanted, when he got around to it, was to express his doubts about Ivan. Knowing we were friends didn't make it any easier for him, but in the end he did manage to say it.
'He's up at the Russian Embassy again now.' He was whispering, his eyes on the door for Hulda's return.
I wasn't going to join in the whispering. 'Why not? He works for the Russian government.'
'Yes, but doing what? I know he's an old friend of yours and all that, but I must say it- I think he's a spy. A proper spy.'
'Like all of us, he operates as best he can in a world of limited possibilities.'
'An awful lot more limited in Russia,' he grumbled.
He'd come round to offer his services as interpreter again. He'd had a disappointing trip to Akureyri. No one was interested in his lavatory gimmick. It was hard to believe that he was genuinely surprised by this, but he was clearly quite crestfallen. Now he was having problems getting authority to move stuffed puffins out of the country.
His gypsy face looked quite pale. 'I'm beginning to think I may not be cut out for business after all,' he said. I had to hide my smile. 'Anyway, not to worry. At least it gives me the opportunity to offer a small present to your daughter.'
He swung over a plastic bag. Without looking, I knew what would be inside. It was. A stuffed puffin. I assumed it was stuffed but, to be honest, it looked alive to me. Alive, and very still. I'm sure you can't get that quality of malevolence into glass eyes. The look on its face was the sort of expression you'd expect to see on your worst enemy as you fell down a manhole. Malicious satisfaction. With its webbed feet clinging to a chunk of lava, it stood with its head cocked, gloating.
'I'm sure she'll love it.' He was almost prompting me.
'Oh, yes, I'm sure she will. Although I'm not sure Uncle Ivan will approve.'
'Any use for a passing polyglot today?'
For a second, I couldn't think what he meant. Then I realised. I was tempted to include him. I might well need an interpreter. But since the old lady's death, it had struck me I was involved with some deeply serious people.
'I can manage,' I said. 'But thanks, anyway.'
25
The coughing man was bothering me. l don't know why. There was no reason why Palli's girlfriend- if that's what she was shouldn't have a male guest in the spare bedroom. She didn't altogether look like a girl who was saving herself for Mr Right. On the other hand, maybe it was her poor old granddad, or maybe an out-of-town hack like me who was staying with her. When I'd heard him cough, she'd shouted out of the window at Palli and that was when he'd taken off. In the rush, I'd forgotten the coughing man.
I'd intended asking Palli about it last night. I'd also meant to ask him about the girl and the baby, although I'd somehow picked up the impression that they didn't belong to him in any permanent sense. All that had gone the moment I'd mentioned Oscar Murphy. That sobered him up all right. It sobered me up, too - for a second, there was a fair chance he was going to redesign my face. Then, without another word, he'd got up and thundered out. He crashed through the party crowds with as much ceremony as a Sherman tank.
I remembered he'd said he was going fishing. Maybe that would give me a chance to try to talk my way into the flat again. At the worst I could keep watch.
It was raining. Heavy sheets ceaselessly poured down, swinging and swirling in a gusty wind. In Iceland you don't let that keep you indoors. If you did, you could be there for a month.
As I drove up the long hill towards the Breidholt flats, I saw Palli's female flatmate rushing down behind an encased pram. If I'd thought about it, perhaps I would've turned back. But I was still suffering from brain damage from the night before and I wasn't up to flexible forward planning. So I carried on. In the car park I couldn't see any sign of Palli's Triumph.
Which meant, if the coughing man wasn't there, that the flat was empty. Me, I'm like nature, I abhor a vacuum.
Since my last visit, the only improvement to the environment was a fresh vomit stain in the lift. The corridor was empty. From the flat next door came the sound of American voices from the base radio and a small child's monotonous pleading. Happy-family time.
On the door of Palli's flat, swinging from a central drawing pin, was a note. It was scrawled in thick blurred pencil lines on the back of a computerised bill. I read it, and read it again -
'Lykillinn era sinum stad.'
It didn't mean a lot to me. In fact, it didn't mean a thing to me. Not many Icelandic words do.
I took a closer look at the door. It wasn't much more than a thin board on a frame with a key-turn opening, which meant it only had one fastening. Under pressure from my hand, it gave a little before springing back. One bash would do it. One heel kick would rip out the screws that held it to the jamb.
It would also rip all the neighbours out of their flats to see what was going on. And what would I find inside? Maybe Palli lying on his bed reading comics and smoking while a friend borrowed his bike. No: whatever real spies may do, kicking doors down wasn't the answer.
I examined the note again in the hope that my Icelandic had improved. It hadn't. Next door the woman was singing and the child was crying - which was cause and which was effect was anyone's guess. Two doors down, I heard a man's voice getting louder as he got nearer to the corridor. His door opened and his voice, echoing in the tiled corridor, stopped when he saw me. He was a weathered-looking man, heavily built, in an old leather jerkin. He stood there, scratching his belly, then went back inside.
Then I remembered the credit card trick beloved of private eyes. The latch didn't take Amex, but thought seriously about Diners before rejecting that too.
I stared at the door again, hoping it would talk to me. In a way it did. Woman, child and Palli resident, plus one more man who may be resident or guest. Keys. How did they all come and go? Did people like that have a selection of keys ready cut for house guests? No, they did not. So what did they do?
Bruce Willmott, who was at school with me, had five brothers and two sisters. They didn't all have keys that was for sure. So what ... I remembered.
I reached up and ran my fingers along the shelf above the door. The key was there. They did what most people did who weren't too worried about burglars because they'd nothing worth nicking. They stuck the key in the nearest hiding place and left a note saying, 'Key in Usual Place'.
The door opened easily. I stepped inside and closed it behind me.
The coughing man suddenly became an eight-foot Viking in my imagination. Every creak became a footfall, every shadow an ambush. Even my breathing was deafening. I leaned back against the door and calmed down my fears. I was inside. I couldn't go back.
'Hello,' I called out in a breezy voice. 'Anyone at home?
Palli? You there, Palli?'
With thumping, confident steps, I strode into the living room. Some of the steamy smell had lifted, otherwise it was the same. If I abhorred a vacuum then she abhorred a vacuum cleaner.
The first bedroom was hers and the baby's. His too, lucky feller. Her clothes were heaped in a jumble on a chair, spilling down to the floor. She'd propped a chipped mirror against the window. That, with a few flattened tubes and topless pots, took care of her glamour requirements. Over the duvet cover, Snow White and the dwarfs scampered, presumably looking for somewhere to have a wash. Both pillows were badly bruised.
The second bedroom was unfurnished: no bed, no chairs, no carpet, nothing. But someone was camping out there just the same.
It was the tidiest corner of the whole flat. One olive-green sleeping-bag had been rolled up and stacked against the wall. Beside that stood a nylon tote-bag. A few items of clothing had been folded and put into a neat pile: roll-neck sweater, patch pocket canvas trousers, a camo-shirt. A green woollen stocking hat held the pocket debris: a handful of American coins, an airline boarding pass, a pair of nail dippers, a book of matches from a bar in New Jersey inscribed 'No Faggots Allowed', two ballpoint pens. Next to that lay a duty-free carton of tipped Camels, ripped open with several packs missing, and a bottle of Jack Daniels Black Label, either half-empty or half-full, depending on whether you're a pessimist or an optimist.
Whoever he was, he liked things neat and tidy. The map of Iceland might have unfolded itself if he hadn't been careful to pin it down with a good solid weight.
But that's the thing about a Colt .45 automatic - they do weigh a lot. Now I don't know a lot about guns- when I first read James Bond I wondered why he shot people with the Pope's hat - but I do know that this one was very big, very wicked, and very dangerous.
If you could manage to lift it, that is. I could, with an effort. I held it in my handkerchief while I inspected it. Full magazine, one up the spout, safety on, which is how a working pistol should be if you're thinking of putting it to some use. And if you're not, why not carry a willing smile instead?
It wasn't new, but it was well cared-for. Which was more than you could say for me.