Black & White (Picture Perfect #1) (11 page)

I put one hand on his shoulder and was rewarded with electrifying waves of energy surging up my arm. Pulling back the blanket draped across his chest, Angel was discovered, sleeping in a baby carrier. She was simply  breathtaking, her features were tiny and perfect.

"What are you doing here?" William's breath washed over my face, sending shivers across my skin.

"Unfortunately, I’m working," I sighed, momentarily brought out of paradise.

"It's a beautiful place to be doing work. I'm envious of you, Beth."

I looked up, shocked at his comment. His blue eyes blazed with a fire I hadn't seen before. "Envious of
me
. Why?"

"You do something you love, you feel a true passion for. You can find beauty all around you and capture it, immortalizing it for future generations to appreciate. You're like a writer; you get to tell a story, your pictures are worth a thousand words."

"I’ve never thought of it that way. You say it like you know what that sort of passion feels like," I stated, thinking about his words.

"I dabble a little with painting," he admitted with fierce longing in his voice.

"What type of paintings do you do?" I asked, curious about this previously unknown information.

"Landscapes, nature."

"Oh, William, I would love to see some of your work sometime," I breathed. He had me captivated. I could feel myself being  increasingly drawn into his world each time we talked. We had a connection, something we shared - a love of art, in its many forms.

"I would like that, Beth," William replied. He glanced around. "So, where were you heading?"

"Over to Brookside. The client you saw me speaking with  the other day, Mrs. Murphy, asked for some water photos." I sighed. Our moment of connection was broken by the reality of why I was here.

"Mind if we tag along? I haven't been there in a long time," William asked casually. Excitement built at the idea of spending more time with him. Now we had a shared passion, I couldn't control the smile on my face.

It was nearly impossible to forget about the dream as we walked side by side, passing the colorful flower beds. I sighed inwardly, as my heart shattered again for the future which couldn't be.

~~~~~~~~~~

William

Anne was one of the laziest people I had ever met. Seeing her slim figure, people could be mistaken in thinking she was a health nut. Not so. Convinced that man had created the motorized engine as the only feasible way to get around, such horrors as taking walks and partaking in any outdoor activities was never on Anne’s agenda. If our financial situation was different, she would have had one of the fastest and flashiest vehicles out there. As far as Anne was concerned, anything was better than using your feet or working up a sweat. So when she had suggested a trip to the park, I knew something was up.

When Beth's beautiful face appeared from behind the camera, I knew exactly what Anne was up to. There was no sense in denying how physically attractive I found Beth. She was perfect in her own personal way, her beauty would continue to shine bright, even on the darkest stormy day.

We walked casually towards the lake, neither of us making more than simple small talk. I hadn't been there in over a year, but I knew it would still look the same. The lake was one place I was totally in love with. I had asked Angelina to marry me there. It was also the place we’d been when she’d told me she was pregnant. As we walked, I had second thoughts about my decision to come along, but I had to start facing my past.

Everyone had been right about living in the past. You missed out on the present and what it offered. I needed to stop living in the past for Angel's sake. She needed me to be strong and continue to move forward for her. I had to push myself and accept that life moved on; I couldn't stand still and bury my head in the ground.

I was pulled from my thoughts by Angel, when she started to fuss. She was normally the best baby a dad could wish for, except when she was hungry. Realizing I had fed her just before the walk, my mind raced. Maybe she had colic, I'd heard about that. I wished Mom was here. She always had the answer.

"William? Is Angel okay?" Anne called, attempting to catch up to us.

I stopped and turned around, bouncing from one foot to the other. "I think she’s hungry, I knew we should've brought the diaper bag."

"Let me have her, William," Anne demanded, reaching in the carrier and pulling out a crying Angel. "Take that thing off."

Doing as I was told, Anne switched the carrier for Angel. Anne put it on. She stretched out her arms to take Angel back for a second time. "You two go ahead to the lake. Jude and I will head back to the car and feed her."

This had all been a part of the plan. Anne had thought of every detail and I was certain she had recruited Jude’s participation in this  ridiculous plot. I was going to kill her later, for setting me up like this. I didn't know what they’d been thinking; I wasn't ready for this. I didn't think I ever would be ready to find someone else. Angelina had been my life, my heart and soul. I wasn't going to tarnish her memory by jumping at the first woman who paid me some attention.

I was still trying to adapt to this transition period in my life, or at least trying to focus on picking up the the pieces. I had so much to deal with right now, I couldn't even think about commencing a relationship with Beth. There was something about her which stirred long forgotten emotions, but I didn't have the ability to give her what she desired. Hell, I didn't even know what her desires were.

True, she was apparently attracted to me. It had been written in her face, in her eyes, in her body language since the first day we met. I’d have to be blind and deaf not to have noticed. I’d seen these same reactions before, from other women. I wasn't arrogant about them; I just didn't pay any attention to them. I’d been a happily married man, I had no reason to give them a second thought.
But I'm not married now, I'm not a husband... I'm nothing now but a father to a vulnerable child. I can't let Beth get hurt. It wouldn't be fair to her, she deserves so much more than a broken man.

Before I even had a chance to call Anne out on her deception, she and Jude were heading up the path towards the parking lot.

"William? What just happened?" Beth sounded confused.

"I think we've just been set up," I answered, embarrassed by Anne's behavior.

"I'm gonna kill Jude." Beth's voice carried both anger and apology at the same time.

"What?" I glanced down at her, figuring she must've reached the same conclusion I had. “What are you talking about?”

Her shoulders sagging, she hung her head as she took in a big gulp of air and released it. "William, I'm an honest and open person about most things. In this case, I don't think you want my honesty."

Stunned, I wondered what she was hiding and why. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know," I said softly, laying a hand on her shoulder for moral support.

She pulled in more air, held it for a moment, and then squared her shoulders and looked up at me. Her eyes held such despair. What had happened to her to make her such a sad person? In that moment, watching her with such a sorrowful face, I wanted to know everything about her.

"William, Jude is trying to play matchmaker. I've known her for over twenty years. I know her better than she realizes," Beth admitted, keeping her gaze lowered. "I'm not the type who does relationships and she knows it. I don't want you to get hurt, so I'm apologizing for her behavior now, rather than later."

I couldn't stop the laugh which escaped my lips. It was quickly silenced when Beth looked up at me with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. "I'm sorry, Beth." I settled myself, wondering if she ever let her guard down. "You might not have noticed, but my sister was definitely involved too."

"I don't understand why they're doing this," Beth said, so softly that I wasn't sure I had heard them correctly.

"Anne seems to be under the impression  I need to be rescued," I admitted, desperately wishing Anne hadn't done this. "I just lost my wife and she thinks I should be looking for a replacement."

I realized how rude my words sounded as soon as they  fell from my lips. Hell, it was hard to even talk about Angelina at all. They couldn't be taken back now, and I felt horrible for Beth. She should never be considered a replacement to any man. It had sounded despicable and I loathed myself for speaking without consideration. I silently cursed Anne all over again.

"William, I could never be a replacement for your wife. Jesus, I can't be anything to anyone! I'm not a relationship person, William. I never have been and I never will be." Beth was getting mad, I could see the fury flashing in her eyes.

Certain she was getting mad with me, I tried to fix the situation fast. "Beth, you could never be considered a replacement. Please don't misunderstand..."

Her little hand was against my lips before I realized what she was doing. "Sssshhhh, William! That's not what I meant." She removed her hand just as quickly. "Jude knows I'm not that type of person, but she did this regardless. She and Anne were wrong to put either of us in this position. We both know we’re not what the other person needs or wants."

Her words, as right as they were, sounded wrong to my heart. While I might never be ready to look for another love, Beth was telling me she wasn't the settling kind or even girlfriend material. Was it possible, maybe, we needed each other in other ways? Was there a way to satisfy both of us till we figured this out? I thought hard before speaking, "What about being friends? Is that something you could handle?" This was all new to me, I hoped this was the right thing for both of us. Strangely, the idea of only being friends killed me a little inside.

She was silent for a long time, and I guessed she must've been trying to decide if this was something she could commit to. I’d seen the hot looks she’d given me. Was the idea killing her too?

I didn't want to disrespect Angelina's memory, so I was more than happy to settle for being friends. The depression and sense of loss for my wife began seeping back into my heart. I couldn't wallow in those emotions forever, for Angel's sake I had to pull myself together. Being friends with someone like Beth, who was so full of life, could help me do that. Maybe, in return, I could help her in some way.

This was all so confusing. I never thought there could be anyone beyond Angelina, but here was a beautiful woman in front of me who was fighting an internal battle I was sure was similar to my own. Was it possible to be so confused and sure about the same thing?

Beth looked at me, thoughtful and full of hope. "I can always handle having new friends. We can be happy with this arrangement, and hopefully, so will Jude and Anne and they’ll butt out."

I hadn’t realized how far we’d walked until I saw the lake in the distance. Memories began flooding back and a tornado of emotions slammed against my insides. I nearly dropped to my knees as the vivid memories became life-like in my mind.

‘William, I know we were going to wait a few more years.’

‘Ang, what's wrong?’

‘You're going to be a father.’

‘A... father? Ang, are you saying... are you pregnant?

The shutter sound from the camera drew me back from my thoughts. Turning around slowly, I spied Beth. She’d forgotten about me and was focused on the lake. She was clearly in her element; nature was her muse. I followed her silently, watching as she capture the magic I already knew existed in this place. It was fascinating to watch her wander around, seemingly unaware of anything or anyone around her. She was at one with her camera, cocooned inside her own little world. I could relate, it was the same for me and painting.

She turned again and seemed to come back to reality. A smile crossed her lips as she continued to snap pictures, this time focused on me. She reluctantly stopped a moment later, dropping the camera from her face. She motioned, and I followed her to the edge of the lake.

"So, since we're going to be friends, I think we should at least know something about each other," Beth stated in a soft voice, settling down on the grass. It was strange how her voice matched the relaxed peace of the park.

"Well, what would you like to know?" I asked, wondering what questions she would ask and what answers I could give. The thought of what she might ask had me tensing uncomfortably as I settled on the grass beside her.

"Well, I know Anne is your sister. Do you have any other siblings?"

It was a simple enough question and I relaxed a smidgeon. "No, just Anne. Trust me, that's more than enough. What about you?"

"Just Wyatt, and he is definitely more than enough," she answered with a wry grin.

"Okay, I sense there's something more to that comment," I suggested.

Beth leaned forward putting her head in her hands. "Wyatt's one of a kind. He and Jude are together, a couple, and it makes things a little interesting around our house."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" My curiosity was peaked. She was as vague with her responses as I was.

"It's a little of both. You definitely get to have a smile on your face constantly, but they know me like a book. I have to be constantly on my toes," Beth answered. "What about you? What's your family like?"