Blackout (14 page)

“It was okay. Nothing much happened. It was
only half a day,” I said.

“When do you start having whole days?”

“Tomorrow.”

I wasn’t looking forward to it. I couldn’t
look forward to anything with Evan on the loose and Rick not into
me anymore. I knew he wasn’t. He’d have been happier to hear from
me after several days even if he was dead on his feet.

But Wednesday passed as it usually did. The
next day I started all my classes, except gym. That was Tuesdays
and Fridays. I tried to act as if I had nothing on my mind except
those classes.

Cree, too, tried to cheer up and not miss Ben
so much. I hoped I finally convinced her that
she
was who he
cared about, not all those Aspie bimbos at MIT.

I drove her home and then drove myself home,
to work on my campaign.

* * * *

Another day of school before the weekend. One
more day of coming home not knowing if I could even get out of the
car.

I ended up not telling Rhoda about that. Or
Daddy. It might have been nothing and I didn’t want to scare them.
I only said, as I told them good night, “If anything happens to me,
start your questioning with Evan.”

Daddy set down his newspaper. Rhoda asked,
“What? What do you think is going to happen?”

I pretended I hadn’t heard her. I blew them a
kiss and went on upstairs.

But in the morning I did talk to Cree about
it.

“Not good,” she said.

“It’s more than just not good,” I said. “What
if he really does something? They won’t even know where I am to get
me back. They’ll think I’m dead. And he’s clever. He’ll never let
on that he knows what happened.”

She thought for a moment or two, and then
said, “What about a convent? He wouldn’t be able to get into one,
much less get you out.”

I really considered it, for about two
seconds.

“I don’t know. I’m not even Catholic, and I
don’t think you can get into one just to escape from a crummy
ex-boyfriend.”

As soon as I said it, I felt sick. “I can’t
believe he was ever my boyfriend. He’s such a
turd.
”

“You didn’t know,” she said.

“I should have. I don’t know where my head
was. This afternoon—well, I can take you home first.”

We had reached the school. She didn’t get out
until we got this straight.

“I was going to go and see Kelsey,” I said.
“I want to see if she’s out of intensive care.”

“Sure. I’d be happy to go.”

So, as soon as school was out, we went.

Kelsey was still in intensive care. Velda was
there and said they were thinking of transferring her to a regular
room.

“What if she tries it again?” I asked.

“I don’t know what we can do except get her a
full-time nurse, and that’s expensive. I suppose it would have to
be two or three nurses for full-time. Oh, me.”

“Isn’t she worth it?” I asked.

“Oh, definitely! I’d pay for it myself if I
had the money.”

I thought the Fritzes had quite a bit of
money. But maybe not as much as it seemed to me. After all, what
did I know? I only knew both of them worked and they had horses and
a nice, fancy house, but other than that, I could only guess. I
didn’t even know what they did when they worked.

“I wish there were something I could do,” I
said.

“You’re sweet. But there isn’t.” She gave me
a lovely smile.

We were in that tiny waiting room again. It
was comfortable but had no windows. I couldn’t imagine spending the
day there, the way she apparently did. Would I be that devoted to
anybody? Like, for instance, Ben? I might, if he needed it. But he
never would.

I gave Velda my cell phone number and asked
her to call me when Kelsey went back to a regular room.

“I hope she doesn’t,” Velda said. “At least
until she’s stronger. Here, she’s protected.”

“Do you really think they’d try
anything?”

As soon as I said it, I began to think maybe
she was right. What if they did try something to keep her quiet?
They didn’t know her. In fact, nobody really knew her, except maybe
Velda. They couldn’t know how unlikely it was that Kelsey would
testify against them.

Cree and I went back outside and I did the
whole car check thing. She actually thought it was funny.

“You don’t know Evan,” I told her. “He cut my
brake line once. It could have been fatal.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Who would
ever imagine anybody could be as evil as he is? He still doesn’t
think he did anything wrong with Kelsey. ‘Just having a little
fun,’ is the way he sees it.”

I didn’t know that definitely, but I was
pretty sure that’s how he saw it. After all, psychopaths aren’t big
on emotion. How would he know the way it could affect her?

“You know what?” I said as we started off.
“How can I be sure there isn’t a tracking device on this thing? Ben
got down on his back and went under the car to find it. Do I have
to do that?”

She didn’t answer, except to say how she
missed Ben. She wasn’t going to offer to get down on her own back
under my car, and I couldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t do it for
anybody.

Except maybe me. And I wouldn’t know what I
was looking for.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about
Rick. I felt so stupid, a dumb little high school kid, while he was
out in the big world doing important things. With Rosie.

I wasn’t going to call him again. Let him
call me. If he wanted to.

Apparently he did. Or maybe it was only to
say goodbye. He called the next day, just before I got to school. I
made him hold while I parked my car. I wanted to give him my full
attention.

“Are you all rested now?” I asked.

“Pretty much. I’m about to go and see
Rosie.”

Here it comes.
He was breaking off
with me.

Before I could ask, he went on, “She’s in the
hospital. Took a bullet during that siege.”

“Oh. How is she?”

“They’re pretty sure she’ll recover. I’m
going there to see for myself how she’s doing.”

“Oh. Give her my, um—love.”

“I’ll do that. Can I see you this
weekend?”

He wanted to see me. In spite of Rosie.

“Sure,” I said. And added, without thinking,
“If you have the time.”

“Got plenty of that. I’ll call you tomorrow,
okay? What time to you get up on Saturday?”

Why couldn’t he see me before Saturday?
Because he was busy with Rosie.

“I don’t have a definite time,” I said. “Any
time after eight.”

So we left it there. I still didn’t know
where we were. Maybe he wanted to see me to break it off. I was
getting as insecure as Cree, but I had more reason.

On Saturday morning, he called me. It was a
little after nine. I wasn’t my usual self, being so full of the
idea that he wanted to dump me.

When he finally came over on Saturday night,
he took me in his arms and murmured into my hair, “I wish I could
spend my time with you but I’ve got to keep Rosie’s spirits up. She
doesn’t have anyone else.”

“What about her mother?” I asked.

“Her mother’s looking after the kids. They’re
not allowed in the hospital at their age. Not unless they’re
patients.”

“God forbid,” I said.

“Yeah. They’re cute little kids.”

He looked the same as always but there were
shadows under his green eyes. He didn’t feel like seeing a movie.
We drove to his place where we ate dinner, then sat on his porch
and talked. It was a nice little house that had been left to him by
a bachelor uncle.

The trouble was, there were mosquitoes and I
was wearing eau de cologne. He said that attracts them. While I
slapped, he told me about the hostage situation.

“I think he started out drunk,” Rick said.
“You know why I don’t drink? Much, that is. I don’t like what it
does to people. The guy’s wife had talked about leaving him and
taking the kids. He got all steamed up, grabbed the kids—there were
three, all less than ten years old—and held a gun to their heads.
She got in a call to 911 but he made her disconnect.”

“Wouldn’t the alcohol wear off after all that
time?” I asked. “That was several days.”

“It did, but his temper didn’t wear off.
Besides, when you start something like that, how are you going to
finish it?”

Men and their egos. I thought it, but didn’t
say it.

“It was mostly a waiting game,” Rick said.
“Just waiting there till the guy wore out, but we had to stay alert
the whole time. I don’t know if he slept or what he did but after a
few days, he started firing. He got Rosie. Right in the torso. I
think it missed her spinal cord by maybe half an inch. She’s not
paralyzed but they had to put her in a coma for a while to keep her
from moving.”

“I hope she’ll be all right.”

Did I mean that? Of course I did. I had
nothing against Rosie except that she existed and was Rick’s
partner. I even sort of liked her.

He sighed. “I hope so, too.”

He put his arms around me. His lips traveled
to my ear. He nibbled. My ears are an erogenous zone and I grabbed
him more tightly.

He raised up my tee shirt and unfastened my
bra.

I fastened it again. Even though no one could
see us, I felt self-conscious. He laughed. “I wasn’t going to do
anything.”

“Like hell you weren’t.” I’d almost forgotten
about Rosie.

For a few minutes we sat quietly, neither of
us saying anything. Then he got up, went into the house, and
brought back two root beers. Before he opened his, he took me in
his arms again.

It was the most heavenly kiss I ever had.

Chapter
Twelve

When Sunday came, or I should say, the Sunday
paper, I looked for my article.

It was there! I read it over and over. I saw
all the things I could have said differently. All the things I
should have left out and the things I should have put in.

By golly, I would write another article. It
would have to be different and say new things, or they wouldn’t
bother to print it. Now, what could I say differently?

I was still thinking about it on Monday. By
now, we had a full week of school. We were back in the groove. My
last year of high school!

Three days and a weekend had gone by without
any sign of Evan or his friends. Maybe they’d forgotten me. Or
school would keep them busy. School and football. I never was a big
football fan, but I blessed it now that it was keeping Evan away
from me.

At lunch on Monday, I asked Cree for ideas
for my next article. She didn’t have any, but promised to think
about it.

I asked her again after school, as we got
into my car to take her home.

She said, “I really have been thinking.
Really. I just haven’t come up with anything.”

We reached her house but she didn’t get out
of the car. Instead, she grabbed my arm.

“Can I go home with you? You wouldn’t have to
take me back here. I’ll call my grandma. But I’d really—it would
make me feel closer to him.”

“To Ben?” I had been so thinking of other
guys, that Ben just slipped my mind.

“Yes. To Ben. Who else would I want to feel
close to?”

“Who knows?” I said, mostly to myself.

She peered into my face. “What does that
mean?”

“It doesn’t mean anything. Did you know Rosie
got shot?”

“Who’s Rosie?”

“Rick’s partner. That hostage thing. It ended
in gunfire and Rosie took a bullet. It just missed her heart. She’s
in the hospital.”

“Oh.” She pulled herself together and said,
“I’m sorry to hear it.”

“Well—she’s alive. He’s confident she’ll pull
through. But he’s all busy with her. I don’t—I can’t—I can’t figure
out where I fit in. Anymore.”

“It’s just temporary.” Now it was Cree’s turn
to cheer me up. “It’s only till she gets better.”

“I hope you’re right.” I backed out of my
space and started home. “I really thought—” No, I couldn’t tell her
that.

“Really thought what?” she asked.

“That Rick and I—oh, never mind.”

“That you what? Come on, Maddie, you can tell
me. We’re best buds, aren’t we?”

“I’m not ready to talk about it yet.” I
really didn’t want to discuss it. I don’t know why I even started.
About my dream of someday marrying Rick.

We had just turned in at my driveway when two
cars came in after me and a third one blocked the drive.

“Oh, no!” I said.

“Is it them?” Cree asked.

“It’s them. And that car blocking the drive
is Evan.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I would say—offhand—we’re not getting out of
this car.”

“I have to pee. I should have done it before
we left school but I like private bathrooms better.”

“Cree, I just don’t know. I think they were
fixing to grab me the last time this happened, but then they heard
a siren and scrammed.”

They got out of their cars and came over to
mine. And stood there.

I couldn’t lower my window without turning on
the engine. If we were going to be there any length of time, we
would definitely want the window lowered, so I turned the engine
back on.

“What do you guys want?” I asked. Hadn’t we
done all this before?

They just stood there, not answering.

I said, “My friend has to pee. Can she go in
the house if she comes right back out?”

“Nope,” said Evan.

“I can stand it,” Cree whispered so that only
I could hear.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered back.

“Not your fault,” she said.

By then we were talking in normal voices. I
said, “He’s always been this way. It’s why I broke off with him. I
think he thinks it’s a game.”

“I think it has to do with Kelsey.”

Maybe. But I still maintained I couldn’t
testify. So why did they keep coming back to me?