Blackout (13 page)

I was trapped. There was nowhere to go after
Lakeside, except into the lake. I drove to the school’s parking
lot, hoping someone would be somewhere. The only thing parked
outside was a pickup truck I didn’t recognize. It might have
belonged to Henry, the custodian. Or somebody. If they were inside
alone, they would probably have locked all the doors. I was not
going to be caught outside of Rufus, banging on doors with nobody
to hear me or care.

I might be crazy, but I still hadn’t seen who
was in the car. It could have been anybody. I was going by Rick’s
philosophy of better safe than sorry. Even if you make a fool of
yourself, embarrassment is temporary. Sorry can be permanent.

Back to home. It would mean leaving Rufus
outside, but I couldn’t stay in Rufus forever. Besides, one day
soon I was going to have to pee. I wouldn’t do that to Rufus.

Better yet, I could go into town and straight
to the police station. Why didn’t I think of it earlier? Somebody
had to be there, even if most of them were tied up with that
wretched hostage taker.

That was what I would do.

No, I wouldn’t.

The car was there, blocking all of Lake Road
just beyond my driveway. Forcing me to go home. I thought of
backing, trying one of the other houses, but usually no one was
home. They all worked. They couldn’t afford Lake Road without an
income.

I pulled to the side of the road. If anybody
came along, they couldn’t pass anyway with that car blocking the
way. The UPS truck might have had some influence, but it went the
other direction. I took out my phone and punched Rick’s number.

Damn!
How could he still be tied up?
He’d be dead on his feet by now.

That time I did call 911.

They didn’t answer!

And then my battery went dead. Before they
even had a chance to answer.

Why didn’t I realize it? Why did I think I
wouldn’t need my phone so soon? I thought I was stuck at home. I
thought—

I didn’t think. That was the whole problem. I
simply wasn’t thinking.

Now what? I couldn’t get past them to go into
town. Could I get into my house without being jumped? We had
working telephones there. If I could make it to the door.

By the time I got Rufus parked and locked,
they would already be at the door waiting for me. It would take me
too long to get in because I had locked the deadbolt, too. So now
what?

I was almost close enough to see who was in
that car. I recognized Casey O’Keefe and Warner Wall, or thought I
did. What would they do if they got me? Would it be what they did
to Kelsey? Or worse? So I couldn’t testify.

But I wasn’t there, guys. I can’t testify.
Your attorneys would make hash of me because
I wasn’t there.
If I was even allowed to testify, which I wouldn’t be, because I
wasn’t a witness.

I rested my hand on the door handle.

No, not here. I had to get into that parking
area and that’s what they wanted me to do. Otherwise, they wouldn’t
have that car right there. I wanted to get not only into the
parking area but also into the house.

I could hear the dogs. Did they know I was
out here? Did they have to pee, too? Someone would have let them
out this morning. But they must have sensed something going on out
here.

I turned on my engine. Could they hear it in
that other car? Quickly I whipped into the parking area.

But not quickly enough. They were right after
me. They followed me in and stopped right next to me as I stopped
next to the door. I had closed my window to get out, but now I
opened it again. “What do you guys want?” I demanded. “I live here
and all I want is to go home.”

Warner was at the wheel. I could see his
face. He only smiled, just as another car came into the parking
area. That one was driven by Evan Steffers.

He parked right in front of me. I couldn’t go
forward but I could still back.

I didn’t. I closed my window and turned off
the engine. I opened my door and squeezed out.

Almost immediately, I was surrounded. I had
my keys ready for the house but Warner caught my arm before I could
use them.

“What do you
want?
” I asked again.

Evan stood right in front of me. “You,” he
said.

“What for? We’re finished, you and I. Didn’t
you ever notice that? Go find yourself another wench.”

I tried to look into his face. His eyes were
half-closed, his arms folded. He glared at me.

He had tried to kill me once. That brake
line. He meant for me to lose my brakes as I went down that steep
hill to the bridge. I should be more afraid of him than I was, now
that he was here, facing me.

“You can capture my body,” I told him, “but
you can’t capture my brain or my soul.” Whatever that was. The
essence of me, I thought.

I wondered if they could. With incessant
torture, maybe. How could they do that in this day and age, in
Southbridge?

Nelson Mandela was in prison how long? Years
and years, but maybe they didn’t torture him. They just wanted to
keep him contained.

Warner pried open my fingers and said, “I’ll
take these.”

“You can’t take them!” I clutched the keys
more tightly. “What do you guys
want?
”

That was the third time I asked. I tried not
to sound intimidated. The last thing I wanted was for them to know
they were getting to me.

Evan stood in front of me. “You,” he said
again.

“You want
me?
For what?”

I knew what they wanted. They wanted to keep
me from testifying. But I needed to hear them say it.

He didn’t answer. We stood there in front of
my locked door, with me clutching the keys for all I was worth. I
didn’t say anything. That’s the quickest way to make people start
talking, is not to say anything. It wasn’t easy. I, too, wanted to
fill the silence with my own voice.

A very distant sound of a siren got their
attention.

Evan reacted first. He said, “Beat it, guys,”
and dived into his car. The others followed in the other car and
they all quickly cleared themselves from my driveway.

I didn’t waste any time getting into the
house and locking the door behind me. I gave the dogs a swift pat
and checked the other doors, the kitchen one and the one that went
out back to the patio.

Then I sat down on the sofa and hugged the
dogs.

“Puff,” I said, panting, just as they were.
“Puff, puff.” I hugged them again and wished like anything that Ben
was still home. I don’t know what he would have done against four
guys, but he’d have thought of something. Ben was smart.

Anyway, he was bigger than I was. And male.
That should count for something.

Dammit, I was thinking like a sexist pig. But
guys are bigger and stronger than women. I can’t help that. It’s
the way God made them. They’re supposed to protect us and our
children. And bring down mastodons for dinner. It’s the way God set
it all up. Or whoever did. I might as well get used to it.

Chapter
Eleven

She was in the hospital. Kelsey knew that
much. She had been there before, when she was younger. She had her
appendix out. They kept her for three nights and then sent her
home.

Three nights? Was that all? When they had cut
her open?

She didn’t think this was the same. She
rolled her head and saw a desk outside.

Outside of what?

A window. A nurse sat at the desk talking on
a phone. This wasn’t the same room she’d been in before. She closed
her eyes, thinking to go back to sleep, but she couldn’t. She tried
to remember.

When she opened her eyes, Velda was there,
bending over her.

“You’re awake!” Velda exulted. “How do you
feel?”

How did she feel? She didn’t feel anything.
Maybe pain. All over.

She tried to speak. She didn’t think she
could, but it came out of her mouth, faintly. “What’s wrong with
me?”

“What’s wrong? Let’s see. You have a couple
of broken ribs, a broken shoulder and arm, and a fractured hip. You
landed on the cafeteria roof. A security guard saw it happen and
rushed you to the ER.”

That was ridiculous. Why would she land on
the cafeteria roof? Velda was making it up, just to frighten her.
She used to do that when they were younger. When Kelsey was about
five and Velda was ten.

Velda could scare her every time. She had
outgrown it before Kelsey realized she was making up those things.
Like that, the parents were thinking of selling Kelsey into
slavery. She believed all that because Velda was so much older.

But still—why was she here? She tried again.
“What’s wrong with me?”

“You jumped,” Velda said. “Don’t you
remember?”

“I—jumped?”

“Out the window. In your old room. That’s why
you’re here, in ICU. That’s Intensive Care. Unit, I think the U
stands for. You didn’t hit the ground, that might’ve killed you,
but you landed on the cafeteria roof, which is why you’re all
bashed up. It was one story down.”

I didn’t,
Kelsey wanted to say, but
she hadn’t the energy or the will.

She remembered the blind. Lifting up the
blind.

No, it was the window. She lifted that. She
climbed out. She could move her legs then. She pushed herself as
far as she could, out into the night.

It was night when that happened, and now she
remembered why. It was because of those guys. The football guys. It
was her fault for getting drunk. She must have been drunk but she
didn’t really remember until the next day.

Velda did not make it up. It was worse than
anything she ever did invent.

The first day of school was only half a day.
I didn’t know that until I got there and Cree told me. I hadn’t had
a first day of the school year at Southbridge High before.

“Half a day?” I quavered.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing. I just . . .”

“Did you want more?”

I hadn’t told her about them surrounding me.
She was too gloomy with Ben being gone. Too full of the fact that
he was meeting other girls.

“He’ll meet another Aspie,” she moaned.
“He’ll like her better than he likes me. They’ll be two of a kind.
They’ll understand each other.”

I couldn’t get into her insecurity. Not now
when I was worried for my own safety. I drove her home at noontime
and somehow got myself into the house with her.

“Your house is so—homey,” I said. “I love
it.”

“You love my house? Yours is homey. It’s just
fancier.”

“I don’t want to go there.”

“Why on earth not? Because Ben isn’t
there?”

“Well—it would help if he were.” Then I told
her what happened the other day.

“No!” she said.

“Yes.”

“What did they want?”

“They never said.”

“Probably to shut you up. About Kelsey.”

“I had nothing to do with it! I wasn’t even
there.”

“You had plenty to do with rescuing her.”

I thought about that. Does it count as rescue
if the person doesn’t want to be rescued? I was pretty sure she
didn’t want to be.

“She tried it again, you know,” I said. “In
the hospital.”

“No, I didn’t know. How did she get poison in
the hospital?”

“She didn’t. She jumped. Out the window.”

“You’re kidding!” Cree turned from the
refrigerator where she was looking for something we could eat.

“I wish I were. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.
There were so many other things going on, I never got a chance to
call. And when I did, you were out.”

That made her think again of Ben. Everything
made her think of Ben. She started moaning again.

“Cree, he’s not going to meet anybody. He’s
not fickle.”

What did I really know? Ben was eighteen. He
could be fickle if he wanted.

She wrenched herself from thoughts of Ben.
“What about your boyfriend?” she asked. “Where was he when that
happened?”

“I’ll call him,” I said. “He was tied up with
a hostage situation. I don’t know if it’s still going on.”

While Cree made tuna sandwiches, I sat at the
kitchen table and pressed the button for Rick.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when he
actually answered. Mostly what he said was, “Uh?”

“Is it over?” I asked. “The hostage
thing?”

“Maddie?” He sounded three-quarters
asleep.

“Yes. I’m checking on you.”

“It’s over. The guy surrendered. The kids are
in state custody. Their mother’s dead.”

“Oh. Oh.”

“Maddie, I’m dead on my feet. I’ll call you
later, okay?”

“Any time,” I said. “If I don’t answer,
well—check with Evan.”

He was too groggy to ask. Probably thought I
was kidding. I saved it to tell him when he was wider awake.

“It’s over,” I told Cree. “The hostage thing.
He’s dead to the world.”

She nodded. Her mind was on Ben. We ate our
sandwiches and had rocky road ice cream for dessert. They always
had ice cream in their freezer. Unlike at my house, where ice cream
was considered a special treat.

We washed our few dishes and put them away,
and then we talked about Evan.

“I think he just wants to show his power over
me,” I said.

“That’s silly.”

“A lot of what guys do seems silly to us.
It’s important to them to show off their power.”

“Not all of them,” she insisted.

“With Ben, it’s hard to know what’s his
Asperger’s and what’s just Ben.”

“I think it’s all the same thing,” she said.
“His Asperger’s is part of him but it’s not a separate part.”

“Cree, you’re so wise.”

“That’s me.” She patted herself on the
shoulder.

I stayed at her house even after her grandma
came home. Then I called my house to be sure someone was there.

Rhoda was. So I went home.

“How was school?” Rhoda asked when I got
there.