Blame It on Your Heart (28 page)

The crash of breaking glass cut her off. Ellie's throat squeezed in renewed panic as Julie's eyes widened for a split second. Then Julie reached out and squeezed her arm. "Don't worry. It's not a party until something breaks."

Ellie excused herself with a rueful shake of her head and went to investigate. To her relief, the damage wasn't too bad. Someone had knocked into Janelle and had sent her tray flying onto the flagstone patio. Fortunately all the glasses were empty and no one was hurt.

Really, most of the damage seemed to be to Janelle herself, who looked horrified. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she kept repeating, her eyes welling with tears as Damon awkwardly patted her shoulder.

Janelle bent and started to reach for one of the larger pieces of glass. "Don't, you'll cut yourself," Cindy said as she reached them, a hand broom and dustpan in hand. She handed it to her sister, but Janelle's hands were shaking so badly she couldn't get the shards into the dustpan.

A crowd was starting to gather, and Ellie felt her face begin to get hot. Damon quickly turned on the charm. "Sorry folks, just a minor mishap. Why don't we get your drinks freshened while we wait for that ass—I mean the guest of honor to arrive." His joke earned him a hearty chuckle, and Ellie watched, grateful as everyone took his advice and wandered away to the bar.

She covered Janelle's hands with her own.

"Am I fired?" Janelle said, tears now streaming from her pale blue eyes.

"Of course not. Why don't you go help Brady in the kitchen for a little bit, while I clean this up."

Ellie had just thrown the last of the glass into the garbage when Damon came up beside her. "Dylan just texted. They're five minutes away."

Though Damon had initially rolled his eyes at the idea of everyone jumping out and yelling "Surprise!" it was clear by the way he moved through the crowd, urging everyone to gather at the designated spot on the patio, that he was getting into the spirit.

It took several minutes, but finally all the guests were corralled around to the patio where they wouldn't be seen from the parking lot. Damon made sure Laura, Rob, and a few other of Deck's closest friends were right up front so Deck would see them first when Dylan led him around the corner.

Ellie watched from inside the restaurant as Dylan pulled up in his Yukon, followed by Frank and Vivian in their own Explorer.

Dylan and Deck climbed out first, then Deck went around to the rear passenger side and opened the door. Then around to the other side, where he leaned in and emerged with a baby carrier in one hand.

One long, tan leg ending in a gorgeous pair of hand-tooled cowboy boots extended from the car. Ellie's heart started to race, her stomach doing back flips at the first sight of Jane Bowden in all her golden girl glory as she stepped out of the car and flashed her husband a blinding smile.

Oh my God, she's really here. And now she's going to see firsthand how I handled her party and decide whether I fucked it up or not.

Ellie didn't know why she was suddenly so nervous. All of the guests seemed to be having a great time. And when she'd spoken with Jane on the phone, she couldn't have been nicer.

But Ellie couldn't stifle the nagging fear—what if Jane hated it?

"She's going to love it," Molly said softly beside her, as though she'd read Ellie’s mind.

"You really think so?" Ellie said, hating how pitiful she sounded, relieved only Molly was around to hear it.

"How could she not?" Molly slid her arm around Ellie's shoulder and squeezed. "You've done an amazing job with this, El. There's no way we could have ever pulled this off if you hadn't been here to step in."

"Thanks," Ellie said.

"And I'm sorry if I was kind of a jerk about some of the changes you made," Molly said. "It's just, it was kind of hard, working here all along and then watching you come in and know exactly what to do, when Mom and I never could seem to figure it out."

Ellie was about to say more, but was cut off by the roar of "Surprise!" coming from outside.

She and Molly hurried out to the patio, where they watched as Deck, grinning from ear to ear, was doing the single arm hug and back slap with several of the guys and leaning down to buss the cheeks of their dates.

"I can't believe you did this," Ellie heard him say as she and Molly stepped out on the patio. He pulled his wife close and gave her a big smack on the lips. "I told you not to make a big deal."

Jane shrugged, her eyes sparkling as she smiled. "And I decided I wanted to make a big deal anyway. Besides, all I really did was make a bunch of phone calls. Damon and Ellie are the ones who helped me pull it together."

"Ellie." Deck turned to his brother, eyebrow raised.

Ellie felt her stomach flip at the slight edge in Deck's voice. Like Dylan, it sounded like Deck was none too happy to have Ellie back in his brother's orbit.

"Deck!" Molly thankfully broke the tension as she flung herself at him and hugged him tight. Then she turned to Jane. "Hi, I'm—"

"Molly," Jane said and pulled her in for a friendly, one-armed hug since she was cradling their son on her other hip. "We met last Thanksgiving. Where's your sister—wait is that her?" She said as she caught sight of Ellie standing behind Molly. "Of course, she looks just like you but with dark hair," she exclaimed and stepped forward to greet Ellie with a warm hug. "Thank you, so much for putting this all together. I haven't even seen everything yet and I can already tell it's even more perfect than I'd hoped."

Warmth bloomed in Ellie's chest at the praise. "I didn't do it myself, by any means. Brady really came through on the menu, and of course Damon has—"

"Been around to move heavy stuff when she needed it," he said with a laugh and gave her shoulder a little squeeze. "Honestly, everything here tonight was Ellie's doing. If I were left in charge we'd probably have a keg and a bucket of fried chicken served on paper plates.

"Nothing wrong with that," Deck joked, but his eyes were narrowed on Damon's hand resting on Ellie’s shoulder.

The warm glow of Jane's praise faded a little.

Jane gave him a playful smack. "That's what you wanted for our wedding. I love you Damon," she said, and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "But I'm glad you weren't in charge."

"Happy birthday, Deck," Ellie said, pretty sure he wouldn't welcome a hug, wondering if she should offer to shake his hand. In the end, she did neither.

"Thanks," he replied curtly. She'd been prepared for the rebuff, but it still stung, having Deck, who'd once treated her like the little sister he never had, greet her as though she was a stranger.

He turned to greet another guest, who, judging from his height and the size of his shoulders straining the seams of his western style shirt, must be one of the consultants who worked with Deck on movie sets. Ellie took the opportunity to slip away and make sure one of the servers got the new arrivals drinks and then went to check in with Brady who was over at the barbecue pit, basting the ribs with what looked like a hand-sized mop.

"Looks like everything is going smoothly," he commented. "You still want to plan on having everyone sit down at seven?"

Ellie looked over the crowd, taking heart in all the smiles and animated conversations going on around her. "Everyone seems to be enjoying cocktail hour. Let's push it back to seven fifteen. That will also give Deck and Jane a chance to say hello to everyone."

She started back to the kitchen to let her mom know the slight adjustment in the schedule. As she looked over the crowd, her gaze was inevitably drawn to Damon. His head was thrown back, teeth showing whitely against his tan skin as he laughed at something Deck said. Dylan and his parents were also in their little side group, Vivian cooing over her grandson while Jane spoke to another woman off to the side.

Even from across the room, you could sense the closeness, the love in that family.

There'd been a time when she'd been right in the thick of it, loved by Vivian and Frank almost as much as by her own mother. If things had worked out differently, she would have been right there with them, Damon's hand holding hers loosely, the way Deck held Jane's. Vivian would be fussing over one of her babies while she joked with Dylan and Deck, who she'd once loved as much as if they'd been blood brothers.

A hand tugged at hers and she looked down. "Anthony," she said. Despite the tightness in her throat, she couldn't help but smile at the sight of her son, dressed in the pearl snap shirt Adele had bought him especially for the party. "Look at you, all handsome in your new shirt. Want to come with me to the kitchen to see Nana?"

He nodded eagerly and let her lead him through the crowd. Out of the corner of her eye she watched the Decker family, her heart squeezing at the way Damon leaned over his mom's shoulder to peer at his nephew.

She had her own family, one she loved with all her heart, she thought, her grip on Anthony's hand tightening. And they loved her back.

Yet that didn't stop her heart from aching at the up close and personal look at all she'd lost. While they celebrated Deck's birthday with all of their closest friends, she would always be on the outside.

Chapter 16

Damon tracked Ellie through the crowd as she hurried over to the DJ. Now that dinner and dessert had been served, it was time for the low key background music to be kicked up into something more danceable.

Though if everyone was as stuffed as he was with ribs and steaks and wild salmon flown in fresh from Seattle, he didn't see how anyone was going to move.

"This is pretty damn awesome," Deck said. He was leaning against the bar, his arm slung around Jane's shoulders while she cradled baby Devlin. "I guess this means I'm going to have to do something really big for your birthday," he said, pressing a kiss to his wife's forehead.

"Ugh, what woman wants to celebrate after thirty?" Jane said, rolling her eyes. "If you two will excuse me, I need to use the ladies."

Deck reached out his hands to take the baby, but instead she pushed the sleeping bundle into Damon's arms.

"Here, bond with your nephew."

Though Damon wasn't at all sure about this—he liked kids fine, but like most single guys his age, he hadn't held many, make that any, babies—it was either open his arms or drop the kid.

Devlin's little face screwed up into a frown. Damon braced himself for the wailing to begin, but to his surprise, the baby shot him a drooly grin that made his heart feel like it was melting in his chest. He couldn't resist smiling back, and spent the next several minutes making goofy faces and making Devlin giggle until it wasn't clear who was laughing harder.

"Pretty amazing, right?" Deck said. Damon looked up and saw his brother gazing down at his son. The look in his eyes so intimate and full of love Damon almost felt like he was intruding.

"You seem really happy," Damon said, embarrassed at how tight his throat felt. Christ, who would have thought holding his brother's baby would turn him into such a chick.

"Happy doesn't even begin to cover it," Deck said, giving Damon a look he could only describe as starry eyed. It was a look he'd never seen until Deck had gotten with Jane. "Look at her," he said, gesturing with his half empty beer glass at his wife, who was chatting with Laura as though whatever the woman was saying was the most interesting thing she'd ever heard. "Not only is she one of the most gorgeous women on the planet, she's smart, she's driven, and she's a really fucking nice person. And, you know, I was a little worried about how she'd be with the baby," he said, lowering his voice so no one could overhear. "Not that she wouldn't love him or anything—she's wanted to be a mom forever. But you know, actresses get so fucked up about their bodies, and now there's all this pressure to be back at your pre-baby weight the day you leave the hospital. I was afraid she'd get a little psycho. And also, you know, I love her, but Jane's been on her own program for a while now. When she wasn't working she was used to being able to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted."

Damon nodded. Right after they'd gotten married, Deck had confided in him that that was a source of tension, Jane wanting to get up and go the second she wrapped a project, while Deck had work commitments he wasn't willing to flake on.

"But none of that has been an issue at all. She's so happy, the baby's happy..." His voice trailed off as his expression got, God forbid, even dreamier. After a few seconds he shook his head, as though he realized how dopey he must look. "Jesus, I'm turning into one of those boring assholes who talks about the amazing dump they found in their kid's diaper."

Damon laughed. "You've got it pretty good. You're entitled to brag a little. But yeah, I don't want to hear about the color and consistency of Devlin's shit."

"Deal," Deck said and chuckled. "Look at you," he said, looking down at the baby jabbering happily in Damon's arms. "You're a natural. When are you gonna take the plunge?"

Damon forced a chuckle. "I should probably find someone to marry before I start having kids."

Deck cocked an eyebrow and leaned closer. "You think I don't know that you and Ellie have hooked back up?"

Damon felt his face grow hot and his chest go tight. "Dylan's worse than a thirteen-year-old girl."

Deck shook his head. "It wasn't Dylan, it was Mom. Adele told her you'd been sneaking into Ellie's window again, just like in high school."

Damon was glad the sun had gone down so his brother couldn't see him blush. He forced another laugh. "Sneaking into her bedroom to have a little fun is a long ways from getting married," he said.

But damn it, he could so easily imagine it. Marrying Ellie, having kids together like they'd always planned. Being a father to her little boy.

Yet the rush of joy he got even thinking about it was quickly eclipsed by the memory of the pain of her refusal the first time he'd asked. The memory of that humiliation burned in his gut like it had happened mere days instead of years ago.

It was too soon, too uncertain for him to go betting on a future with Ellie.

"Jane and I started out as a one night stand," Deck shrugged. "And here we are."

Damon shook his head. "Maybe you're forgetting what happened the last time I had designs on marrying Ellie. No way I'd ever make any long term plans around her."

There was a sound behind them, barely audible over the din of music and conversation. A feminine clearing of a throat.

Damon turned around, his stomach dipping a little when he saw Ellie standing on the other side of the bar. Though she was smiling, it was a little too wide, the corners of her mouth a little too stiff. He knew instantly that she'd overheard him.

"Sorry to interrupt," she said, pitching her voice to be heard over the crowd, "but we're running low on the amber ale. I was hoping you could help Brady bring another keg up."

"Of course," he said and passed the baby over to his brother. Ellie thanked him and hurried off, eager to get away now that she'd made her request.

He watched her for a moment, stomach churning. He didn't like the idea that he'd hurt her feelings with what he'd said, but he wasn't being mean. He was being realistic.

Wasn't he?

###

No way I'd ever make any long term plans around her.
Damon's words echoed through Ellie's brain for the rest of the night as she kept a smile glued to her face and continued to work the party.

They kept her awake that night, leaving her sleepless in spite of her exhaustion. They reached a crescendo the following day when she went back to the restaurant and Damon was there, working with Dylan and Brady to break down the tent and move the extra tables and chairs they'd put out on the patio back inside.

They made it impossible for her to focus on their brief, inconsequential exchanges about how well the party had gone, and how they were both looking forward to a day off.

It was stupid to feel so hurt, she told herself dozens of times the following day. It wasn't like he’d said anything she didn't already know.

And yet, there was that split second when Deck had brought up her and marriage in the same sentence, and her breath had caught and for an instant, crazy, insane hope had flashed...

Only to come crashing brutally down to earth.

"Mommy! Mommy! I caught one!" Ellie jerked herself away from her wallowing at Anthony's excited cry. He was down at the edge of the river with Molly, proudly holding up his pole.

Dangling off the end was a madly flopping trout, no more than three inches long.

"That's great," she said forcing enthusiasm as she got up off the beach blanket and rushed to the water's edge. They were spending Ellie's day off at Grey Bear Park, on the banks of the Yellowstone River. Anthony had been begging to go fishing since they'd gotten here, but Ellie was too squeamish to deal with the worms.

Whenever she fished before, Damon had always dealt with that part she thought glumly.

Today, Molly was on worm duty.

"Can we cook him and eat him for dinner?"

"Might be more like an appetizer," Molly chuckled as she eyed the squirming fish.

"Take him off the hook, Mommy," Anthony said. Ellie jumped as the slimy thing smacked against her bare arm. Her startled laugh was the first sound of amusement she'd managed since Saturday night.

Get over it, she scolded herself, angry at herself for indulging in hurt feelings when she should be enjoying a beautiful day with her son and her sister. She was a big girl, she knew what she was getting into the first night she let Damon back into her bed.

But knowing the truth didn't take away much of the sting of hearing him say it out loud.

The only bright side to hearing him answer the question she was too afraid to ask revealed itself later that evening, when Julie Dennison called with an offer too good to be true.

In that instant, Ellie's future was laid out before her.

Far away from Big Timber.

Far away from Damon Decker.

###

Damon pulled up in front of Ellie's house, his stomach clenched in the familiar knot that had taken up residence Saturday night and not left since. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves as he wiped his uncharacteristically damp palms against the legs of his jeans.

He scolded himself to get his shit together and climbed out of the truck. Despite his nerves, he felt a surge of anticipation as he heard her voice float from the back of the house. Though it had only been a few days since he'd seen her, he'd missed her like he hadn't seen her for weeks.

Part of the reason was that he was busy, with work, with his family. It was so rare for him and his brothers to all be home at the same time he felt he had to maximize every second.

And part of it was, even when he could have gotten away, sneaking out to meet up with Ellie so they could screw each other’s brains out just didn't feel right anymore.

Because after a few nights of beer-fueled deep talks where his brothers poked and prodded and refused to believe his bullshit, Damon was forced to admit what he really wanted. And after weeks of denying it up and down, he was forced to eat his words and face the truth everyone else already seemed to know.

He wanted Ellie. And not just in his bed. In every part of his life that mattered.

And as he'd told Ellie when she first came back to town, he'd grown into a man who went after what he wanted.

That didn't mean his hands didn't shake a little as he made his way up the walkway and considered exactly what he was going to say. While what he'd told Deck was true—he didn't have any plans to go down on bended knee, at least, not yet—he was ready to steer this... whatever they were doing... in that direction.

He figured the best place to start with that was clearing the air and asking her out on a proper date.

Easy, right?

About as easy as scaling Mount Everest.

He skirted around the side of the house, following the sound of Ellie's voice and Anthony's laughter.

As he came around the back, he saw that Molly was also there, her back to Damon. "That's great," she was saying as Damon started toward the porch. "You must be so excited."

"Yeah—" Ellie started.

In that instant Anthony spotted Damon and crowed, "Mom, Damon's here!"

Ellie's startled gaze met his, her mouth pulling into an uncertain smile. Molly turned around to greet him, her own over bright smile not quite reaching her eyes.

"Damon," Molly said, her voice brushing the upper registers. "What brings you here?"

He could feel his palms getting damp again and shoved his hands in his back pockets. "I was hoping to talk to Ellie real quick," he said, closing the distance until he stood on the patio, a few feet away from Ellie. Minimal make up, her dark waves pulled into a ponytail, she still looked so beautiful in her simple tank top and shorts it hit him like a blow to the chest.

She also looked tired, he noticed on closer inspection, lines of strain surrounding her full lips. Had he and his careless words to Deck put them there? he wondered with a pinch of guilt.

"In that case I'll leave you alone." Molly started for the house.

"You don't have to leave," Ellie quickly interjected, and Damon got the distinct feeling she wasn't in any hurry to be alone with him with only Anthony's questionable supervision.

"I need to go get ready for the dinner shift." Molly waved her off. "And I imagine you two have a lot to talk about," she said, giving Ellie a pointed look. "Anthony, why don't you come with me for a little bit?" she said to Anthony who had joined them on the porch and glued himself to Damon's side.

"I wanna stay with Mommy and Damon," he said, pressing himself even closer to Damon's hip. As much as it melted his heart, Damon didn't need Anthony witnessing him laying his heart out on the line. Besides, if this all played out like he hoped, there would be plenty of quality time with Anthony in his future.

Damon squatted down until he and Anthony were eye to eye. "I just stopped by the restaurant looking for your mom, and you know what Adele was making?"

"What?"

"Double fudge brownies with peanut butter cup chunks. If you go with your aunt Molly I bet she'll let you taste one."

"You'll spoil your dinner," Ellie said, but Anthony was already waving goodbye as Molly led him by the hand around to the front of the house.