Blast Off! (6 page)

13

The Reveal

S
tanding in the janitor's supply closet with Olivia, I found myself at a loss for words. Just yesterday I had a good idea of what fourth grade was going to be all about. Now it was about avoiding interplanetary war and dealing with an annoying blue alien who could make you gag on imaginary spoiled milk.

Man, what a difference a day can make.

Olivia folded her arms. Her eyes were drilling through mine. She was waiting for an explanation, and I hadn't the foggiest idea where to start.

“This better be good,” she said through clenched teeth.

“You remember that blue guy I was telling you about?”

“Oh, for heaven's sake!” she exploded. “Not this again. Look, I'm not buying any explanation that involves your imaginary, sad uncle.”

“He's not my uncle!” I exploded back.

“Well, then who are you talking about?”

I sat down on a huge, white bucket of floor polish. I placed my backpack on the next bucket, knowing Amp was probably listening to all of this.

“Use your words, Zack,” Olivia said.

“Enough of this!” Amp called out from the pocket of my backpack.

Olivia was so taken aback by my backpack's sudden ability to speak, she shrieked, stumbled backward, and fell awkwardly over a mop bucket on wheels. After bouncing off a wobbly shelf of toilet paper, she fell onto her back. The rolls wobbled, tipped over, and tumbled down on top of her.

“Agh!” she cried.

“Olivia!” I rushed over and tossed the toilet paper rolls off of her.

“There's something in your backpack?” she stammered.

I nodded. “I told you he was small. Listen, he won't hurt you. He's my friend. He's nice. He's an alien. And I'm helping him fix his spaceship. Got it?”

Olivia stared at me. “That's a lot of information to give someone all at once.”

I helped her sit up, and right there, just five feet in front of her, was Amp. He had crawled out of his pocket and was now standing perfectly still in front of us. He waved and did his best to make a friendly smile, though it really looked more like he had gas.

“It's the bald Smurf from your room this morning,” she whispered with a quivery voice. “Is he dangerous?”

“He's a pain in the neck, but not too dangerous,” I said.

“Are you sure?” she said. “He looks weird.”

“C'mon, Mr. Jinxy practically ate him. I've almost stepped on him twice.”

“You know I can hear you both, right?” Amp asked.

“He sounds ridiculous,” she said.

“He's funny, huh?” I agreed, helping her up.

“Is he poisonous?” Olivia asked, not taking her eyes off Amp.

“Poisonous?” I asked with a laugh. “Of course not.”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“I'm not dead, am I?” I answered.

“Zack, I watched this old black-and-white movie once with my grandpa called
War of the Worlds
. It was about these aliens who come to Earth. But the aliens all end up dying because of bacteria, which are invisible.”

“He's fine!” I protested. “Healthy as a clam!”

“Not him!” she said, grabbing my shoulders and looking at me with wide eyes. “He could have brought something here. Like killer germs or viruses or mold!”

“He's not moldy,” I said. “Relax.”

“Olivia is correct to be concerned,” Amp said, waving his arms to get our attention. “She is a sharp cookie indeed. I'm not sure how ‘cookie' and ‘sharp' go together, but her fear is logical.”

“Wait, you brought mold with you?” I asked.

“I am not like you both,” he reassured us. “I don't carry other organisms on my body. Single-celled or otherwise. Totally different biology.

“Council Note,”

he whispered into his wrist again.

“Germs. They are microorganisms, really small living things. Apparently, some of them can make humans sick. Further study warranted.”

“What was that about?” Olivia asked.

“Oh, he's studying us,” I told her. “His planet is planning to invade Earth.”

“What?!” Olivia yelped. “You should have called the president. Or the army. Or an exterminator!”

“Calm down,” I said. “Amp is a scout. He came to check things out. Obviously, he's realized that invading Earth is a really bad idea. So he needs to hurry up and get back to call the whole thing off. We've got to help him.”

Olivia thought this over. “Am I the first person you've told about him?” she asked, concern now rising in her voice.

“He's my friend, Olivia,” I said. “If other people find out, it'll become a mess.”

“It's already a mess,” Olivia said. “Listen, Zack, that's an alien standing right there. Don't you watch movies? These things always turn out badly!”

“Olivia, I need to return to call off the attack,” Amp explained. “The sooner the better. In fact, ideally by four forty this afternoon.”

“What!” I shouted. “That's hours away, Amp!”

“That's why I couldn't wait at your house. I need a high-powered magnet and we need to figure out an alternative way to launch my spaceship if I'm going be able to get back to Erde in time.”

“Well, so much for calling in the cavalry,” Olivia said. “By the time we get the police to believe our story, we'll be serving our Erdian overlords.”

“The key thing,” Amp explained, “is that my initial launch system needs to be replaced. You could help me and Zack. We could use a sharp cookie like you.”

“Oh, and what kind of cookie am I?” I asked Amp.

“I'm sorry, I still don't get the whole cookie connection,” Amp said. “I'm just trying to fit in. Look, all I need is to replace my initial launch system. Surely you can help with that?”

“I don't even know what an initial launch whosie-whatsie is, so probably not,” Olivia said.

“Well, I need to get my ship moving up, away from this planet, before I can activate my secondary thrusters.”

“How about a trampoline?” I said. “Or we could just throw it.”

Amp groaned. “It's not a paper airplane, Zack.”

“Hey, I'm just spitballing here, Amp! There are no bad ideas when you're spitballing.”

“But you just came up with two,” he said, looking confused.

Just then the bell rang and Amp dove instantly back into the pocket of my backpack.

“See, he's even scared of a floofy bell,” I said, but my voice sounded hollow now. “Okay then, how about this: we'll sneak into the science lab after school.” I snatched up my backpack and carefully zipped Amp's pocket. “There has to be something there that we can use. I mean, how hard can it be to launch a spaceship?”

We exited the janitor's closet and headed off to the gym for PE class in a daze.

Olivia sighed. “Honestly, how am I supposed to concentrate on jumping rope now that we're just hours away from preventing an alien invasion of Earth?”

I could not have agreed with her more.

14

Blocked

“N
o tungsten, but there are magnets here that we need,” Amp said.

Olivia and I hid out in a recess equipment supply closet after school finished for the day. Surrounded by scuffed balls, bats, jump ropes, nets, hula hoops, and orange pylons of every description, we listened carefully as Amp described what he needed.

“Hold on. What's a tungsten?” Olivia asked.

“It's a special kind of high-density metal that can resist heat,” I explained. I could feel Olivia staring at me with surprise. I wasn't known for my knowledge of rare metals, or anything having to do with science for that matter. “The science lab doesn't have any,” I continued. “But it does have magnets, which we also need to fix Amp's spaceship.”

“I'll have to do without the tungsten,” Amp said. “It makes my voyage through space more dangerous, but I can go without it.”

“How do you know we have the magnets you need?” Olivia asked Amp.

“I checked this morning, during the commotion in the classroom,” Amp said.

“Commotion you created,” I said.

“Sorry about that,” Amp said, actually sounding sorry.

“You only have three fingers,” Olivia blurted.

Amp looked at his little hands. “True,” he said simply. “Three seems to be plenty. What do you do with your two extra fingers?”

Now it was our turn to look at our hands. It was odd to think of fingers as “extra.”

Olivia looked up. “How can you speak English so well if you just got here yesterday?”

“Gosh, Olivia, he's not on trial,” I said.

“No, it's a fair question,” Amp said to me. “Erdians happen to be quite good at languages. I've learned all the Earth languges. Although complex, yours was not too difficult to figure out, but clearly I still have lots to learn, like why it's good if a cookie is sharp.”

Olivia and I thought about that for minute. Neither of us could figure out a way to explain it.

“We have learned the language of many other life-forms from faraway solar systems. Some languages are just simple chemical reactions, but another one we've learned is probably two hundred times more complicated than yours.”

“Wait a minute,” I said. “What are you saying, Amp? Are you saying you've met other people from other planets?”

“Well, I wouldn't describe them as people,” he said casually. “Let's just say they're life-forms. Actually, one is a lot like a cactus plant on this planet. Not surprisingly, they don't have much to say. However, there is one non-carbon-based life-form that is the size of your planet. You should see them. They are big, slimy, blob-type things, but friendly if you get to know them. But it takes them about a year in Earth time to say one full sentence. Frankly, I didn't have the patience.”

“We are not alone,” I said in my best scary voice.

Olivia rolled her eyes.

I cleared my throat. “Listen to the hallway; it's totally quiet now. We have to get in that lab before Mr. Hoog comes in to clean it.”

“Excuse me,” Olivia said, “but I'm not sure it's right to just steal stuff from the science lab, spaceship or no spaceship. Stealing is not good.”

“I don't know,” I said. “Steal some junky old lab magnets or let the planet be attacked by an army of three-fingered blue aliens? Seems like a no-brainer.”

“I'm just saying,” Olivia said, folding her arms.

“There are lots of magnets in the lab,” Amp said. “But there is one type in particular that I'm interested in. It's made of neodymium, iron, and boron. Each of those is on that big poster of elements in the lab, Zack.”

“I remember,” I said with a nod.

Amp continued like a half-pint professor. “The neodymium magnets have a very strong magnetic field. Very stable. They are so strong they could be dangerous, but the ones in your lab are quite small. No bigger than my hand. Very safe and perfect for what we need.”

“But we can't just steal them from the school,” Olivia said. “They're not ours. They belong to the school.”

Amp nodded. “I only need one to reset a few instruments on my ship, the ones that help me navigate as I skip through space. Twenty minutes is all I need. So let's not steal it, let's just borrow it without asking. We can return it tomorrow.”

“Okay, we're in,” Olivia said. “But if we get caught, our noodles are cooked.”

“I have no idea what that means,” Amp said.

“That's exactly what worries us,” Olivia said, reading the look on my face.

15

Borrowing (without Asking)

I
t was as if the stars had aligned.

And all the planets.

And a few asteroids, too.

Everything was going as planned.

The school's main corridor was a ghost town. Not a sign of Mr. Hoog. No teachers walking around. No kids goofing off waiting to be picked up.

We reached the lab absolutely, categorically, and unbelievably unseen.

I raised myself up and peered through the lab door's small window. The room was dark and quiet and empty. I grabbed the door's handle, took a deep breath, and turned it. It was open!

“Piece of cake,” I said, reminding myself not to switch on the lights.

“Let's do this, little man,” Olivia said to Amp, who was hanging out of the backpack slung over my shoulder.

“The magnets we need are in that tub, on top of that white cabinet,” Amp said from behind me.

“Whoa, that's high,” I said, seeing the plastic tub labeled
MAGNETS, BATTERIES, MARBLES,
&
DOMINOES
.

“The robot club must have had a party in here,” Olivia said. There were several half-assembled robots on one of the lab tables next to a box labeled
ROBOT PARTS
. There were also plates of half-eaten cookies, a bowl of cheese balls, a platter of M&Ms, and assorted two-liter soda bottles and cups standing everywhere on the table. “Your brother and his robot-nerd friends are slobs.”

I dragged a tall lab stool over to the cabinet. It made a loud screeching sound.

Olivia, who was now tossing M&Ms in the air and catching them in her mouth, said, “Gosh, Zack, why don't you shoot off some fireworks while you're at it.”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” I said, dropping my backpack onto the lab table in front of the cabinet. “But c'mon, Olivia, we only have about an hour to save the world from Amp's . . . friends.”

I climbed up and stood on the stool. I reached up to the tub with the magnets and yanked it off the shelf with all my strength. Unfortunately, it wasn't as heavy as I thought. I wobbled and started to fall backward off the stool. I had to drop the tub behind me or I was going to fall backward and break my neck. “Amp!” I shouted. “Look out!”

The tub crashed onto the lab table with a hideous cracking sound, almost flattening a terrified Amp, who had crawled out to watch me borrow a magnet.

The tub split into two parts. Magnets, batteries, marbles, and dominoes shot off in every direction. Several plastic soda bottles went bouncing crazily across the table, sending stale chips and cheese balls into the air in what can be best described as a junk food explosion. I watched with wide eyes as three of the spinning soda bottles flew off the table.

“ZACK!” Olivia screamed.

Apparently the slobs in the robot club didn't bother to tighten the caps of their bottles either, because now the shaken-up soda came spurting out of the tops.

The grape soda bottle whizzed around in a circle and showered a stunned Olivia with huge purple dots.

The root beer bottle hissed for an instant and shot straight across the floor, hitting Skip the Skeleton in his unmentionable area. Skip leaned dangerously forward, like he was about to jump over a creek. Then, to my horror, Skip's neck broke, leaving just his skull dangling.

The still-fizzing two-liter root beer bottle was on the floor, trapped up in Skip's rib cage.

As the fizzing petered out, the room got eerily quiet.

The lab was now covered in cheese balls, M&Ms, stale chips, plastic cups, magnets, batteries, marbles, dominoes, bones, soda slime, and empty bottles.

“That could have gone better,” Amp said quietly.

“What just happened?” Olivia whispered, holding her dripping arms out to the side. For a second I thought she was crying, but it was just grape soda dripping down her face.

“I'm think I'm going to jail for the rest of my life,” I squeaked.