Blind Squirrels (33 page)

On Sunday afternoon, I thought
about visiting Hurricane Gardens, but I couldn’t.  That place would forever
remind me of Max, and the day we became friends.  Friends for a while, anyway. 
I wondered if I would ever hear from him again.  He and Julie were probably
having a second honeymoon.  I might never cross his mind again.  He might never
know about Julie’s indiscretions. 

Even if he knew, would he care?

Monday morning I began to think I
might find out the answer to that question. 

I dressed for work in my favorite
black slacks and a gray blouse.  My pants almost fell off me, so I glanced into
my full-length mirror.  I hadn’t realized before that I had dropped a few
pounds, but suddenly my face didn’t seem so round and I actually had a
waistline.   I was still overweight, but there was definitely a change.  I
grabbed a black belt and marveled as the little holes slipped by and I was able
to buckle it in the very last one.

I was running a little late, so I
zoomed off to work without breakfast.  Just before I walked into the front door
of Bigelow’s, Olivia came running up to me.  She looked a little worried.  “What’s
wrong?” I asked her.

“Maybe nothing.  It depends on how
you take this news.”

My brain shifted into overdrive. 
I imagined that she was going to tell me that Max and Julie were back
together.  I didn’t want to break down here in front of the office, so I
motioned for her to move around the corner.  “Okay.  Let’s hear it.”

“It’s about Max,” she continued. 
“I did something you might not like.”

“What did you do?” I asked
quietly.  I supposed that she had been spying again.

“I called him.  Wait, wait.  Before
you say anything, let me explain.” 

She all but covered my mouth with
her hands to keep me from speaking, so I nodded that I would listen.

“He had to know, Kat.  I know they
were living apart, but she was seeing someone else.  He needs to know that...”

I got ready to explode.  I
couldn’t believe Olivia had done this.  “What...?!” I yelled.

“Wait...I haven’t finished.  I
didn’t even mention you.  I told him that I found out by accident.  I used my
name.  I kept you out of it...”  I knew Olivia was doing this for me, but it
was really none of her business.  It wasn’t any of my business either.  This
was between Max and Julie.

I tried to remain calm.  “You
shouldn’t have done that, Olivia.  What did he say?”

Olivia swallowed hard.  “He
didn’t.  I guess he’d already left for work.  I left the message on his
machine.”

“When was this?”

“Just a few minutes ago.  I had
second thoughts the minute I hung up.”

At first, I felt helpless, but
then I decided we had to do something.  “We can’t let Max get that message.  No
matter what you think, you can’t tell him about this.  You might ruin his life,
Olivia.  He really loves her.  This is not the way he should find out.”

Olivia agreed that she might have
done the wrong thing.  We stood on the sidewalk for a while and tried to come
up with a strategy.  Short of burning down his house, I couldn’t come up with
anything.  But Olivia had a plan.  It was risky, but what alternative did we
have?

There was a pay phone on the
corner, so I used it to call work.  I spoke with the personnel manager who let
me take off and use a vacation day.  After taking my car home, Olivia and I
rushed to Max’s house.  We inconspicuously parked down the street.  There were
no cars in front of his house, but I had to be sure no one was home.  Olivia
handed me her cell phone, and I dialed Max’s number.  After the tenth ring, I
decided that no one was there.  Now we had to put our plan into action.

Olivia and I walked together towards
Max’s house as though we were familiar guests.  Just before we reached the
white pickets that bordered the front porch, we scampered around behind his
house like two scared jackrabbits.  Fortunately, tall hedges surrounded Max’s
backyard on all sides.  It was unlikely that anyone would see us as we prepared
to break in to Max’s house.

Olivia began delving through her
purse for a credit card.  “Hurry up,” I whispered.  “Max or Julie could come
home at any time.”

“Sorry, but I didn’t pack this
thing with the intention of breaking and entering someone’s house.”  Just then,
Olivia pulled a Visa Platinum card out of her purse.  “They say Visa can take
you anywhere – let’s find out if it’s true!”  With the skill of a seasoned
burglar – or maybe a professional shopper – Olivia made a swipe with the card
and the door easily pushed open.

Olivia and I tiptoed inside.  I
led the way because I had been here before.  Still, the dark shades on the
windows blocked out much of the light, and I was a little disoriented.  Was it
my imagination, or had Max changed things around?  I thought there had been a
dinette set in the middle of the kitchen, but now it was empty.  As we moved
into the living room, the rust colored couch was missing – replaced by a white
futon – and the phone and the answering machine were sitting on a stack of
phone books instead of the cute little corner shelves I remembered.  I started
wondering if Max was about to move.

I stepped over towards the
answering machine, and Olivia took a peek out the window.  I heard someone
blowing a car horn in the distance, and Olivia said, “Darn it!  Some
smart-aleck kid is messing around with my car.  I’m gonna sneak out and stop
him.  I’ll be right back.”

Before I could say, “Wait,” Olivia
was leaving through the back door.  I decided to make the best of it.  I
pressed the play button on the answering machine and listened as the tape
rewound.  Then I heard a woman’s voice coming from the speaker.

“Hi, Max.  This is Val at work. 
Mr. Dreyfuss is sick today, and he wanted me to tell you to take the day off –
with pay, of course.  It’s eight-twenty, and I think I might have missed you. 
I’ll wait around work until you call or show up.  Bye.”

The machine stopped.  I pressed it
again, but the only message that played was Val’s.  I quickly realized that Max
had already listened to Olivia’s message and erased it.  A little slower I
realized what Val’s message had said.  Max had the day off.  He would be coming
back home.  I glanced at my watch.  It was almost nine o’clock.  Max might be
driving up at any second.

I hurried to stand up, but it was
too late.  A key was turning in the door.  Max was going to catch me red
handed.  How would I ever explain?  And he already heard Olivia’s message.  I
had broken into his house for no reason.  It dawned on me how stupid this whole
stunt had been.  I was a complete idiot, and I was about to be an arrested
idiot.  As the doorknob started to turn, I noticed an open closet door in the
hallway.  I jumped inside and pulled the door shut.  Maybe I would get a chance
to duck out before Max found me.

I heard voices.  It was Olivia
saying, “Excuse me.  Excuse me, please.”

Then I heard another voice.  A
woman’s voice.  “Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want any.”

“I’m not selling anything,” Olivia
said.  “I was hoping you could give me some directions.  This neighborhood is
so confusing.  I’m supposed to meet a friend of mine, but I got lost.”

The voices became muffled, and I
wondered if they had stepped outside.  I cautiously moved back into the living
room.  I could see Olivia through a crack in the door.  She glanced at me and
flashed her eyes towards the back of the house.  She was telling me to get
out.  Before I rushed away, I noticed who Olivia was talking to.  It was Julie.

Amazingly, I escaped undetected. 
I still couldn’t believe I had just broken in to Max and Julie’s house.  What
was I thinking?  It was becoming clear that my obsession with Max was going to
destroy me.  I had to let this thing go.

I met Olivia back at the car. 
“Was she suspicious?” I asked.

“Not at all.  You know it was
Julie?”

“Yeah.  I saw her.”

“You’re taking this rather well. 
You realize that she’s going to hear the message.  Or did you erase it?”

“Someone else erased it.  I
thought it was Max, but maybe it was Julie.  It really doesn’t matter.  She’s
moved back in.  They are back together.  It’s time to forget all of this. 
Besides, I still have my date with Elton.  One week from Saturday.”

“That’s the spirit.  But, please,
Kat – don’t start thinking that Elton might become straight if he meets the
right girl.  I don’t feel like chasing you all night, and I don’t want us to
get thrown in jail.”  Olivia was totally serious.

“Don’t worry.  I just want to
shake his hand and get his autograph.  I’ve wasted one lifetime trying to get
Max.  I’m not ready to waste another one trying to get Elton to switch teams.” 
We laughed together, and I felt pretty good.  I had lost Max many times and
survived.  This was just one more.  This was the last time.

Chapter 17

Brad and I had a new boss on
Tuesday.  His name was Milton Starr, he was a distinguished gentleman around
fifty-five years old, and he had been an IT manager at another company for over
ten years.  I liked him from the start, and he seemed impressed with the work
Brad and I did.  Brad and I rejoiced in the fact that our work might finally be
appreciated.

I spoke to Olivia several times
during the week.  I was finally listening to what she had to say.  I had
discovered what she really needed – a sympathetic ear.  She and Lee were
progressing nicely.  They saw each other almost every day, and they spoke on
the phone frequently.  In a few weeks, she would be starting college.  The
thought excited and petrified her.  I assured her that everything would work
out fine.  Remarkably, we didn’t mention Max once during the week.

Time seemed to fly.  It was Saturday
and in one more week, I would be up close to Elton John.  The excitement was
almost more than I could bear.  I met Brad for breakfast at a small French
pastry café downtown.  I had a blueberry sconce and a glass of OJ.  Brad
enjoyed some beignets and some cappuccino.  We talked about work and some of Brad’s
phobias.  Our friendship was still strong and intact.

After Brad drove away, I sat in my
car and contemplated how I would spend the rest of my day.  I thought about Hurricane
Gardens.  I really did love that place, and I wanted to go there.  I had to get
past the memory of Max and start doing the things I loved again.  I decided
that the garden would be the place to start.

It was as lovely as ever.  The
spring flowers were in full bloom and the garden was Mother Nature’s showcase. 
There were beds of tulips, irises, gladiolus, and hyacinths.  Another bed held
tiger lilies, daffodils, and calla-lilies.  My favorite was the rose bed that
had roses of all sizes and colors.  Wild honeysuckle grew along the fences and
gave off the sweetest aroma.  I was so happy that I had decided to visit.

I noticed that a fountain was now
in the middle of the garden.  It was flowing with clear water.  I took a seat
in one of the benches in front of it.  For a moment, I felt as if I was back in
my fantasy garden – the one I created at the Bellanovas’ home.  I closed my
eyes for a moment.  I was suddenly overcome by the feeling that someone was
standing behind me.  As the feeling gave way to certainty, I felt a prickly
chill run up my spine.  I hurriedly opened my eyes and turned around.

“Hi, Kat.  I thought I might find
you here.”  I knew I must be dreaming.  It was Max.

I stood up to prove to myself that
he was real.  “Hello, Max,” I managed.  I was nervous.  I wondered if he
somehow knew I’d been inside his house.  I felt very uneasy.

“I’ve sort of been avoiding you
these last two weeks.”  His eyes were level with mine.  I couldn’t read them. 
Was he here to chastise me?  Or was this his obligatory meeting to confirm his
and Julie’s reconciliation?

“That’s understandable.  It
surprises me to see you here.  I figured you and Julie would be on a second
honeymoon by now.”  I wasn’t going to let him lower the boom on me.  I had made
up my mind.  Max was never going to hurt me again.

He chuckled softly.  “We never
even had a honeymoon to begin with.  I could never afford one.” 

His eyes were so intensely blue,
and they sparkled when he laughed.  Stop it, I told myself.  Don’t let him get
to you.

He looked away for a moment.  “I never
knew this would be so hard.  Please give me a minute.”

At least he was trying to break my
heart gently.  Still, he didn’t look as if he dreaded telling me anything.  He
seemed rather content. 

He stepped around in front of the
bench and faced the fountain.  Looking at him, I wondered why he meant so much
to me.  He was just an ordinary guy.  He wasn’t handsome or extraordinarily
smart.  He wasn’t a king or a god.  He was only human.  He wasn’t even the same
Max that often appeared in my dreams and my fantasies.  I had turned him into
some kind of legend when in fact he was just a normal, everyday, imperfect
man.  Realizing this did nothing to diminish the yearning in my heart.  It
simply made me question my sanity.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he
asked.  “I’m glad they added it.”  I looked at the fountain.  It was only
ordinary concrete and steel, but, to me, it was beautiful.  Maybe I wasn’t
insane after all.  The seemingly ordinary often holds a secret charm – a
mystical appeal – for some people.  I suppose that is how I feel about Max.

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t
noticed that Max had returned to my side.  We were standing toe-to-toe, and I
knew he was about to let me down easily.  He slowly lifted his face to mine. 
Our eyes met for one brief instant and his hand touched my face, but that
moment never had time to register.  Out of the blue, Max was kissing me.  His
lips pressed against mine as he pulled me into his arms.  My body was at war
with itself as I felt my insides catch on fire at the same time thousands of
chills rushed through me.  I never wanted that moment to end, yet I needed to
know why he was kissing me.