Blind Squirrels (34 page)

As we moved apart from each other,
I felt a tear leave the corner of my eye and trickle down my cheek.  Max gently
wiped it away.  “Hey – this is no time for tears.  I thought you would be
happy.”

I couldn’t speak.  My tongue was
in knots, and I knew sobs would follow if I opened my mouth.  I smiled and
nodded my head.  I hoped he would realize that my tears were expressing my
elation.

“I guess I should explain.”  Max
pushed me down on the bench and sat beside me.  He held my hands in his and
continued.  “I never really understood the depth of your feelings for me, Kat. 
I always thought I was just the guy you had a crush on.  When I learned that
you had loved me for all these years – well, that really blew me out of the
water.  On top of that, you wanted to help me get back with Julie.  At first I
thought you were on some kind of masochistic kick.  But then I realized you
really did love me and you wanted me to be happy – no matter what the cost to
you.  I started thinking about that, and I started thinking about Julie.”

Here we go.  He found out about
Julie, and he was rebounding to me.  I made myself say, “You heard Olivia’s
message, didn’t you?  I wish...”

“Olivia’s message?  I never had a
message from Olivia.  Was it about Julie?”

I swallowed the lump in my
throat.  “Yes.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter now. 
Julie and I are getting a divorce.”

“She’s leaving you?  Is that what
this is all about?”  Why was I trying to argue?  Why couldn’t I just take him
and forget about the reason?

He squeezed my hands tightly. 
“I’m divorcing her, Kat.  Let me explain.  Two weeks ago when I left your
apartment, I was planning to go to Evelyn’s to see Julie.  Halfway there, I
realized that I didn’t know if I wanted to see Julie.  All I could think about
was you.  I drove home, and I spent the next week trying to figure out where my
head was.  I went back and forth with this.  When I finally stopped listening to
my head and started listening to my heart, I immediately knew what I wanted.  I
called Julie and asked her for a divorce.”

I felt the chills coming again,
and my eyes were starting to water.  I was afraid that I would wake up and this
would all be a dream.  Max’s hands felt so real – rough and sweaty, tender and
warm.  It couldn’t be a dream.  Max really cared for me.  The flood of emotion
that was sweeping over me was daunting.  My knees were weak, and I wondered if
I was going to collapse out here in public.

Max sensed what was going on. 
“Let me drive you home.  We can take your car if you want.  I can come back for
my car later.  I don’t think anyone would want to steal it.”

He helped me to my car, and we
drove back to my apartment.  When we got inside, he brought me a glass of water
and he stroked my hair.  “I should have known this would be a shock to you.”

“It’s a good shock, Max.  I’m
still having trouble believing it.”  I was feeling calmer, but there were still
some unanswered questions that I couldn’t overlook.  “I still wonder what could
have happened to Olivia’s message?  She left it on your answering machine
Monday.  I guess it’s not important, but it is a mystery.”

“She left it Monday – this past
Monday?”  I nodded my head, and Max went on.   “That explains it.  Julie came
over after I told her I wanted a divorce.  You see, she had decided that she
wanted us to work things out.  She brought all of her stuff with her so she
could move back in.  I tried to make her see that it was over, but she was
insistent.  I finally packed my bags and went over to my dad’s.  The next day –
Sunday – Dad and I had a yard sale and I got rid of most of my furniture. 
Julie kept the futon she had taken with her to Evelyn’s, and she stayed in the
house.  I guess she thought I would come back, but I didn’t.  She was in the
house Monday – in fact, she’s still there – so she got the message.  It’s not
such a mystery.”

It all made sense.  The house had
changed, and Julie came back before I could leave.  Now came another difficult
task: I had to tell Max not only about Julie, but also about my housebreaking
act.

“I must tell you about the
message.  Julie has a boyfriend – or at least he appears to be her boyfriend. 
He was at Evelyn’s that Saturday when Olivia and I went by there.”  I watched
Max’s face for any signs of emotion, but there were none.  “I didn’t want to
tell you.  I was afraid you would hold it against me some day.  Besides, I
wanted you to love me for me – not because you couldn’t have Julie.”

Max stared at me intently, but he
didn’t speak.  I decided to go on.  “Olivia felt you had a right to know, so
she called and left the message for you.  Then she had a change of heart.  You
won’t believe what we did next...”  I continued on with the tale of our break-in,
the missing message, and Julie’s untimely arrival.  Max remained stern faced
through the entire account, and I feared that he was becoming outraged.  When I
finished, I said, “Can you ever forgive me?”

At last he smiled.  Then he
laughed out loud.  “I wish I could have seen that!  I can’t believe the two of
you broke into my house.  That is really hilarious.”  I stared at him, dismayed
by his reaction.  “What?” he said.  “Did you think it would upset me to know
that Julie is seeing someone else?  I couldn’t care less what she does.  Not
anymore.”

“That’s it then?” I asked.

“Yeah.  I forgive you, Kat.  I
forgive you for everything.  Wait – there is one thing I can never, ever
forgive you for...”

I felt panicky.  “What’s that?”

“I will never forgive you for giving
our club that stupid name.  Do you know I still can’t pronounce it?” 

We both began laughing, and Max
pulled me into his arms.  As he kissed me again, I knew I wasn’t dreaming.  Max
was real and he was mine at long last.

I spoke with Olivia early Saturday
morning.  I was out of bed by seven o’clock.  I was so eager to see Elton John
that I couldn’t sleep.  Olivia was still sleeping, but I woke her up anyway.

“Are you ready for tonight?” I
asked her.

“Kat, it’s not even eight
o’clock.  The concert is twelve hours away.”

“I know, but I’m excited.  What
time should we leave?”

“If you really want to, you can
give my ticket to Max.  You did pay for it.” 

“I want to go with you, Olivia. 
Max understands.  When should we leave?”

Olivia thought for a minute.  “I
guess we should go around four-thirty.  Is that okay?  It takes about two hours
to get to Biloxi.”

“I guess that’s okay.  Maybe we’ll
have time to eat.  But I want to get there early.”

“I understand.  We will get there
in plenty of time.  Just let me get some sleep.”

Max came over at around eight.  I
attempted to cook him some breakfast, but we wound up eating out.  We went back
to my apartment and spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon
snuggled up on the couch watching some rented movies. 

At three-thirty, Max said he was
leaving so I could get ready for the concert.  He stood up and pulled me to my
feet.  He kissed me and said, “I love you, Katrina.  I really love you.”

It was the first time he had said
those words to me.  He held me in his arms and I melted into him so that we
felt like one being.  This was indeed the happiest day of my life.

Olivia and I arrived at The
Coliseum in Biloxi shortly before seven.  The parking lot was already crowded,
and we had to park far from the entrance.  I was wearing a neon jacket that I
hoped would catch Elton’s eye.  Olivia wore a black blouse because she hoped to
remain anonymous.  For one night we seemed to be exchanging personalities.  On
the way to our seats, I bought a program and a T-shirt.  Olivia bought a
program, too.  Finally we made it to our front row destination.  I felt certain
that I would explode before Elton ever made it to the stage.

At precisely eight o’clock, Elton
appeared in a black suit that sported rhinestones on one shoulder.  He wore
rimless glasses with a red tint.  He was a little less flamboyant and a little
chubbier, but he was the same old Elton.  Emotion swept over me at the sight of
him and tears flowed down my cheeks.  He did many of his old tunes and a number
of his newer songs.  He made Olivia’s night by doing “Crocodile Rock”, and, of
course, he played my favorite, “Daniel”.  About halfway through the concert, he
stopped to sign a few autographs.  He didn’t make it to where I was standing,
but I still held out hope.

As eleven o’clock drew near, I
started to worry that I might not get his autograph.  He finished up “Rocket
Man” and then disappeared from the stage.  Of course, the crowd begged him to
come back for an encore, and suddenly he was coming back.  Olivia and I jumped
up and down, and I almost fainted when he shook my hand and signed his name on
my program book.  I barely heard the last songs of the night – I was floating
somewhere on a cloud between heaven and earth.  Three hours and two encores
after he first stepped on stage, Elton took a final bow and the lights came
up.  I now knew why Elton John had always been my idol, and Olivia finally
understood, too.  She joined the ranks of Elton’s fans that night.

As the crowd slowly dispersed, Olivia
and I waited in our seats – still somewhat mesmerized by the talent of the
man.  Olivia looked over at me.  “Well, Kat, how do you feel?”

I looked at my friend.  This had
happened because of her.  “Like all of my dreams have come true,” I told her.

“They have.  You saw Elton in
concert, got his autograph, and shook his hand.  And you found true love with
the man of your dreams.  It took twenty-five years, but it all finally came
together.”  Olivia was happy for me.  She was such a good friend.

I thought about what she’d just
said.  She’d missed one important fact that I had only just realized myself.  I
said to her, “I have everything I ever wanted, Olivia.  Seeing Elton was
great.  And finally winning Max – well, that was miraculous.  But I’ve also got
something else that’s even more important.  I just hate that it’s taken me
twenty-five years to realize that you are the best thing that ever happened to
me.  You’ll always be my best friend.  I love you, Olivia.  Without you, none
of my dreams could have come true.”

She sat there staring at me –
unable to speak.  Life was as perfect as it would ever be.  All the blind
squirrels had finally found their nut. 

I stood up and hugged Olivia as
the people continued to file out of The Coliseum.   Then the lights in the building
went down before anyone could see that we were crying.