Blindsided (16 page)

Even though Janet had warmed towards Georgia, she still refused to let her come out with us on Friday night. Before we went out, I stopped by Georgia’s room to see her. I had to leave real early on Saturday morning, and she’d told me in advance that, as much as she’d enjoyed spending time with Hunter and me, it would take the zombie apocalypse to get her out of bed before nine.

“Are you really okay about not coming with us tonight?” I asked her, as she sat at her desk, flicking through a magazine. “I could beg your mom one more time if you want?”

She smiled. “It’s really okay, Jesse. But thanks.”

“It won’t be the same without you.”

I meant it too. Georgia always brought the fun when we went out, and it would be a quieter evening without her.

She sighed, closing her magazine, then stood up. “I’m really sorry about everything that happened. I know I’ve apologised a million times, but I still feel like it’s not enough. Not when you’ve got to have surgery on your knee, and … what if it doesn’t get better?”

That was an outcome I was not ready to face just yet, but just the thought of it sent a wave of nausea through me.

“If that’s what happens,” I told her, “it still won’t be your fault. You didn’t do this to me.”

“I know. But I still feel responsible. And I don’t know how you could forgive me so easily.”

I shrugged. “What’s the point in being mad? It’s happened, it sucks, but staying angry won’t magically make my knee any better. And being mad at you … that’s even more pointless. You did the right thing by telling the police, and you’ve suffered more than enough without me holding a grudge against you.”

She blinked back the tears in her eyes. “I really hope you and Izzy have a great last night together. I know she’s going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss her too. And I’m gonna need you to make sure she doesn’t mope around here once I’m gone.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop her,” Georgia laughed. “I don’t think you realise how much she likes you.”

“I do. I feel the same way. But you’ve both had a rough few weeks, and you deserve to have a great Christmas. So take care of each other.”

“We will.”

I wriggled one arm free from my crutch, and gave Georgia a long hug. “It was really great to see you again, Georgia.”

“You too. I hope it’s not too long before we can all meet up again.”

“Maybe you can come to L.A.”

Georgia laughed again. “I think it’s a sure thing that Izzy will drag me over there at the first opportunity!”

As we stepped apart, I smiled at her. It wasn’t just my feelings for Isabelle that made me warm towards Georgia. She was a good girl, even if she did make some terrible choices.

“Hey, Jesse. Are you ready to go?”

I turned as Hunter walked into the room. He made a huge effort to look good for his last night with Willow. He’d bought new black pants, and teamed it up with a white shirt, which had a black velvet dragon that stretched from the back around to the front. I’d ribbed him about choosing velvet, but he explained that girls are very tactile creatures, and the fuzzy material would guarantee Willow would want to touch it, getting himself a free feel in the process.

Couldn’t really argue with his logic.

“I’m ready,” I told him. “Just saying goodbye to Georgia.”

Hunter smiled. “That’s why I’m here, too. Couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to one of my favourite cousins!”

“Then I’ll leave you to it.” I turned back to Georgia and said, “Look after yourself. And I’ll see you very soon.”

She smiled. “Bye, Jesse.”

Chapter
Twenty – Drowning

Isabelle

I don’t know why, but I felt more nervous on our last night out than I did on our first. I should have been calmer, I certainly felt more comfortable with Jesse than before, but the nerves kept bubbling inside me, making me feel sick.

Of course, it was mostly because I knew Jesse had to leave the next day, and the idea of him not being in my house anymore made me want to curl up in a ball and cry. It sounded stupid even to me, but the thought of being without him made me ache in places I didn’t know existed.

Georgia had very kindly offered to help get me ready, even though she couldn’t come with us. She remembered how uncomfortable I was the last time she gave me a makeover, and this time, she kept everything understated. She let me borrow one of her favourite dresses. An ankle length, baby pink dress with thin straps and sparkles across the bust. My make-up was kept very simple, but she did my hair the same way she had before, with soft wispy curls hanging by my face. Maybe it seemed over the top, but we’d chosen to eat at one of the classiest restaurants in Notting Hill, and we wanted to make sure we looked our best.

When Willow arrived in my room, my jaw dropped to the floor. It wasn’t that she didn’t always look great, but she usually put comfort ahead of anything else. She’d made a huge effort for our double date, and I could barely believe she was the same girl who often wore gypsy skirts and Ugg boots. She opted for an ankle length gown too, but hers was midnight blue. While mine had a straight, close fitting skirt, Willow’s flowed around her feet and there was a jewelled band around her waist. Her hair, full of wild curls on a normal day, had been straightened to perfection.

“Oh my God,” I breathed. “You look … you’re so beautiful!”

Willow’s face broke into a grin. “I clean up pretty good, don’t I?”

I hugged her tightly, then gently eased her back so I could stare at her again.

“Has Hunter seen you yet?” I asked.

“Not yet. Your mum answered the door.”

“He is going to die when he sees you, Willow. Seriously.”

She laughed. “I better go home and change then, I need him alive tonight!”

“I cannot wait to see the look on his face.”

“Me neither,” she giggled, but then her face turned more serious. “How are you doing?”

“I’m … coping,” I told her. “But I really can’t talk about how I feel, I’ll ruin my makeup.”

“I understand. You look amazing too, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

I turned to look in the full length mirror in the corner of my room, and sighed. I knew I looked good, and I wanted to stay that way. If I started crying, I would ruin all of Georgia’s hard work, so I tried to focus only on the evening ahead, and not what would happen the next day.

Or when we got home.

Jesse and I briefly touched on the subject of sex, and the only conclusion we reached was that neither of us were against it. It was more a matter of timing than anything. In my heart of hearts, I didn’t know if I was really ready for it. I had only known him for two weeks, and losing my virginity wasn’t something I planned to just throw away. Not that it would be that way with Jesse. But I didn’t hold on to it for seventeen years just to lose it because a good-looking guy happened to notice me for once.

He isn’t that guy. And you know it.

I really knew it. My feelings for him were so intense, I thought I might drown in them, but even though that was true, I still didn’t want to rush anything.

“You’re thinking about sex, aren’t you?” Willow asked.

My eyes widened. “How did you know that?”

She doubled over, laughing, “I didn’t know for sure, but you looked sort of … spacey. Have you had sex with Jesse?”

“No, of course not! I’d have told you if I had.”

“Just checking. I get why you’re thinking about it, though. And all I have to say is, you’ll know when the time is right.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Is there something
you
need to tell
me
?”

She shook her head. “No. What you have with Jesse is way different than me seeing Hunter. We’re just having fun while we can, and while he is gorgeous and sexy and everything I want in a boyfriend, we’re not as close as you and Jesse. And we know where we stand with each other.”

“Where is that?”

“We’re going to stay in touch. We’ll email, and maybe Skype from time to time. But there’s no expectations. If we get to see each other again, great. If not, this last few weeks will be an amazing memory for me to hold on to.”

In some ways, I thought she was lucky. It wasn’t that I didn’t know where I stood with Jesse. I knew how I felt, and I was sure he felt the same way but what I didn’t know was how to let him go. I didn’t want him to be a boy I might see again one day, and if not, he could just happily live forever in my mind. Having him as part of my past seemed like a horrible thing. But how could I consider asking for anything more?

A knock on the bedroom door halted my thoughts, and Willow and I exchanged excited smiles. This was it. Time for us to show ourselves to the guys.

I quickly checked my hair in the mirror, and when I was satisfied, I opened the door. Both Jesse and Hunter stood, gaping at us. Actually, I think we were all gaping at each other. Hunter looked good in the new shirt he’d shown me earlier, but all I could see was Jesse. Like Hunter, he wore simple black pants, and his shirt wasn’t anything super special, but it was just … him. His green eyes seemed different somehow. They sparkled when he looked at me, and although that wasn’t unusual, there was glimmer of something behind them that I’d never noticed before.

Whatever it was, it made him look even more gorgeous than usual.

Hunter was the first to choke out some words. “Great dress, Izzy. And Willow. I … Yeah, I’m speechless.”

He honestly looked like he’d just won the lottery and Willow was his prize. She blushed as he took her hand, and they began to walk on ahead, leaving Jesse and me standing alone in my room.

“Isabelle Mills, you look incredible.”

“Thank you,” I said. “You look good too.”

“If I didn’t have to deal with these damn crutches, you’d be in my arms right now.”

I kissed him on the cheek. “You can make it up to me later.”

The smile he gave me weakened my knees, and I had to turn away from him, picking up my cute, pink bag to stop myself from actually swooning.

“Come on,” I said, “We better go.”

It took us a while to get down the stairs, and when we reached the bottom, Mum and Dad were hovering, waiting for us. Mum insisted on taking loads of photos, as if we were going to a prom, but she was forced to stop when the cab arrived to take us to the restaurant.

One thing I learned that night was that I am not pretentious. None of us were. But we paid huge prices for tiny portions of fine food because we were trying to prove how mature and sophisticated we were. The food was outstanding, but I’d always been more of a pizza and dessert kind of girl. Food with posh, unpronounceable names which was really just chicken in sauce was something I decided I would never eat again.

We were so hungry after eating the miniscule offerings, we did something that should never ever be done while wearing expensive clothes.

We went to the fish and chip shop.

“Izzy, isn’t eating takeaway food while dressed up against some kind of rich person law?” Willow asked, as if reading my mind.

We strolled down the busy, Christmas light filled streets, shivering from the cold and eating our fish and chips. Well, Hunter, Willow and I were eating. Jesse couldn’t eat and walk on crutches, but he insisted he wasn’t hungry anyway.

“Yes,” I laughed. “I’m pretty sure the Pretension Act of 1608 states that no person wearing any item of clothing worth more than fifty pounds should eat takeaway food in public.”

“Well, I feel naughty, now!” she giggled.

We did look odd, dressed in such elegant outfits while the smell of salt and vinegar wafted around us.

“We’re rebels,” I said.

“Well I’m impressed.” Hunter paused to throw more chips down his throat. “I always heard you people talking about fish and chips, and I never understood what the big deal was.”

“Well that’s because you think ‘chips’ are ‘crisps,’” Willow teased.

He bumped his hip against hers. “My point is, such simple food shouldn’t taste this good.”

As Willow and Hunter discussed the finer points of British cuisine, Jesse and I fell behind.

“They get on really well, don’t they?” I said, watching them as they laughed together.

“They sure do. He probably wouldn’t admit it, but I think he’ll miss her.”

I nodded. “Willow will definitely miss him. She doesn’t really do very well with boys. They don’t usually get her. They think she’s weird. It’s a shame they don’t look past her dress sense to see how much fun she is.”

“She’s great. I think she might even have tamed Hunter a little.”

“Is my cousin a player?”

“No,” Jesse laughed. “Not really. But he’s not a saint either.”

“I guessed that.”

“This has been a crazy vacation. Hunter fully intended to meet some girls over here, but he didn’t expect to find one he liked so much. And Willow is a welcome change from his normal type. You know he was in to Mischa when he first met her?”

My eyes began to water as I choked on a chip, the vinegar catching in my throat. “Mischa? Really?”

“Sure. He thought she was sexy.”

“But she thought
you
were sexy,” I pointed out.

“I am.” Jesse grinned.

“Okay, you need to spend less time with Radleigh McCoy. That ego is rubbing off on you!”

Radleigh had left London earlier that morning. He could have left sooner, but he wanted to make absolutely sure that everything was right with Jesse before going home. After spending a little more time with him, I definitely understood why Jesse had mentioned the ego. At times, it was like there was an extra person in the room. His girlfriend had to be a special person to handle him.

“Sorry,” Jesse said, laughing. “I’m not sure arrogance really suits me.”

“Confidence suits you,” I told him, smiling.

“It suits you, too. You had a good time tonight, didn’t you?”

“I really did. It was nice to be out of the house, but spending the time with you guys just made it even better.”

Jesse stopped walking – or swinging – and said, “I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“I know,” I said, stepping a little closer to him. “I’ll miss you too. But … can we leave the tearful goodbyes until we get home? It’s really romantic out here with the cold and the Christmas lights but when we talk, I want it to just be me and you. Nobody else around.”

Jesse nodded, and I felt like he really understood. “Okay. Let’s do that.”

It seemed like an eternity until we arrived at the house. We all waited downstairs, chatting to my parents until Willow’s dad came to collect her. Hunter went to bed shortly after, and while Jesse was talking to my dad, I followed my mum into the kitchen where she was loading up the dishwasher.

“Mum?”

She stopped what she was doing and looked up at me. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to say to her, but I felt like I needed to talk to her about Jesse. About what would happen next. Maybe I just needed to get my thoughts straight before talking to him. Whatever it was, I just really needed my mum. Somehow, she seemed to get the general idea because her eyes softened. She straightened up, and sat down at the breakfast bar beckoning me to do the same.

“Are we about to have ‘the talk’?” she asked.

I sighed. “I don’t know, Mum. But I do know that I really don’t want tomorrow to get here.”

She reached for my hand. “I know it’s going to be hard to say goodbye to Jesse, especially when you were supposed to have another week with him. Leaves you with some tough decisions to make, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. And I don’t know what choices I’m supposed to make.”

“So you came to your old mum for advice?”

“You’re not old,” I laughed. “But yes, I need advice. I just don’t know what kind of advice.”

Mum watched me for the longest time. Until I thought that maybe she just wasn’t going to speak ever again, but then she put her hand up to my cheek, her eyes glistening with tears.

“Isabelle, over the last two weeks, you’ve gone from being my baby girl to a young woman. And I know you want to tell me I’m being soppy,” she interrupted as I opened my mouth to speak, “but it’s my right as a mother to say cheesy things like this. The thing is, you’ve always been bright, sensible and made good choices. Recent events aside, of course. And I don’t think you need my advice about Jesse. I think you know everything you need to already.”

“But Mum, I don’t think I’m ready to make any life-changing decisions. Not yet.”

“Then don’t,” she said, softly. “I’ve watched the way Jesse is with you, and the way he is with everyone he’s met here. He’s a very special young man. He’ll wait for you to make whatever decisions you aren’t ready to make.”