Bliss (6 page)

Jon ran a hand down my arm, his lips pressed into my shoulder. “You need to tell Ana that you know.”

I laughed out loud. “If I go anywhere near Ana I fear for her safety.” I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t kill her or attempt to.

I smoothed his hair back on his head. It felt good to be in someone’s arms again.

“No you wouldn’t. I know you, and if I thought you would kill her I would even be telling you to do this. That’s how much faith I have in you.” Jon
’s fingertips skimmed my jawline.

I couldn’t believe I never saw it coming. That I was so stupid, was she laughing behind my back this entire time? Did it even matter to her?

Or was she just that awful of a human being that she would go around ruining other people’s lives without a second thought.

I sat up. Jon slid a hand across my back, his nails toying with my flesh.

“I guess it makes the most sense,” I sighed. “If I tell her, then I can move on with my life and get rid of every negative thing and start over.”

I could heal, something I wanted m
ore than anything. Now Eric was a bitter reminder of fake happiness, nothing more than that.

“What would you do if you found out your wife did something so awful?” Jon knew what losing someone felt like. He lost his wife.

I couldn’t read him, his eyes grew dark. “I think maybe I’d feel like it was my out. It would feel like I didn’t have to grieve for her anymore. Who would want to feel anything for a person who could do something so wrong?”

He was right. And in a sick twisted way maybe it was fate. Maybe I wasn’t meant to go on mourning someone I couldn’t have.

“How do you tell your friend you know she slept with your husband?” That was the big question. I tapped my finger against my lips.

“You just say it. Don’t think about it, you don’t have to have a plan. You just tell her that you know and you end things. You move on with your life.” Jon kissed my forehead.

I mowed it over, watching as he dressed himself. “You’re leaving already?”

“I have another meeting in the morning. And you have some fences to mend.”

“More like tear down,” I smirked.

His smile wavered as he looked at me. “Think with your head. Or I might have to bail you out of jail.”

***

Jon was gone, my finger hovered
over the call button of my cell phone. I never had to confront anyone before. I didn’t know how to do it. But I wasn’t stupid I could figure it out.

The phone rang. “Hey, Morgan.”

I forced a smile. “Ana. Hey what’s up?”

“Laying by the pool. And yourself?

“I was thinking about going to lunch. Did you want to join me?”

“Of course, I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you.” She paused. “Do you want to meet up or should I come get you first?”

“Let’s meet up,” I said.

There she sat, applying lip gloss as I approached the table at the café we agreed to meet at. I
did my best to hold it together, the best I could do for the sake of us both.

“Morgan,” Ana said, she pocketed her lip gloss and flashed me a big smile. Oh how I wanted to roll my eyes.

I sat down across from her. “Nice color.” I wondered if it was the same shade she wore when she put her lips all over my husband.

“Thanks, do you want to try some?” She offered the tube. I waved a hand, lifting my menu instead.

With my face shielded I could come out with it a lot easier. Now that I was there, smelling her perfume, listening to her voice, I didn’t have it in me to stay that much longer.

“I guess I should just come out and say it,” I started.

“Say what?” Ana said.

“
I want to say something,” I said, struggling to find the right words to get it over with.

I wondered if she sensed what was coming. I doubted it, she seemed rather heartless if you asked me.

I lowered the menu and picked up my ice water, an ice cube almost lodging in my throat at the sight of Carter taking a seat across from me at the table.

“You didn’t tell me Carter was coming with you,” I choked out. I wiped water from the corner of my mouth. Oh this was getting better and better by the minute.

I watched her hand squeeze his thigh, her thumb grazing the seam of his jeans a little too close to the part of him I wished she would keep her hands off of now that I knew him better.

“Carter had some news to tell me about,” Ana said, she shrugged. “I’m sure whatever you want to say can wait or if it’s not
too emotional you can tell the two of us.”

I scratched my
neck, my lips pressing together. “Carter doesn’t need to hear what I have to say. I’d much prefer to talk about it just the two of us. If you don’t mind.”

Carter furrowed his eyebrows. “No problem.” He
got up.

Ana stopped him standing up herself. “I need to pee. After that we can order our food and talk outside. Carter won’t mind waiting will you, babe?”

“Yeah, sure.” Carter scratched his head confused.

I turned to him as soon as she left the table. “I brought her here to confront her.”

“Sorry if this makes no sense to me. I don’t know what you mean.”

I sighed. “Ana
slept with my husband. And I just found out. So I am here to tell her that I know.”

He threw his hands up. “You got to be fucking kidding me right now.”

I took a deep breath letting it go. “What are you getting pissed about? You weren’t the one married to the man. I was. You’re just fucking the slut bag that ruined my life.”

Carter shook his head. “The guy is dead. He cheated on you, looks like he gladly participated. Why does it matter anymore?”

I winced, a bit bothered that he would make light of such a thing. “Because we are friends, and she is running around acting as if it doesn’t matter. How would you feel?”

He lifted his hands, palms to the ceiling. “I wouldn’t care, because anyone who says they care about you wouldn’t make such a dumb ass move.”

I swallowed, looking away.

“I might not understand, but I do see that
you’re hurt.” He touched my arm. “But for the sake of everything going on right now will you agree to let it go. It’s not going to solve anything.”

I leaned in my hand on my knee. “I’m not trying to do anything besides move on. This fixes so much. It’s my out, my freedom card to move the fuck on with my life.”

Carter nodded. “Don’t let her have the satisfaction of knowing she ruined something in your life.”

“She’s going to do the same to you,” I told him.

He sat back in his chair. “I’m a lot smarter than I look.”

“
You’re dating a liar,” I argued.

“I’m not dating her. I’m not looking for a relationship with Ana.” He extended his hand. “Let me see your phone.”

I furrowed my brow. “For what?”

I handed it
over; certain Ana would be back any minute.

“I wanted to tell you
something. It’s good news.” Carter punched his number into my cell phone. “And I need your number to do that.”

I took my phone back. “Did you get the part?”

He brought a finger to his lips. “I’m going to call you.”

Pressing my fist against my mouth I gave in. “Fine. Call me, and maybe during that phone call we can discuss all the reasons you need to drop her before she ruins your life.”

Carter leaned back, arms crossed, a smile on his perfect face. “I’d almost think that was you trying to act like you gave a shit about my well being. I thought I was an asshole.”

“I care about you because I don’t want to see you date a slutbag?”

The bathroom door opened. God why did she have to come back I thought feeling miserable.

“Okay are we ready?” Ana asked.

I stood up, slinging my purse over my shoulder. “Actually, I have to go. My mom called and she is going to be in town soon. So we can talk another time, it wasn’t anything major.”

Carter relaxed looking away from the two of us.

Maybe he was right. It would be more satisfying to Ana than myself to divulge my knowledge. I knew how bad it felt to be miserable; did I want to ruin whatever was going on with Carter to have a few minutes of an argument with Ana?

I didn’t.

I would let it be—for now.

And now that I knew Carter
programmed his number in my phone, I felt a little better about walking away without a victory.

I watched as the lighting crashed out my bedroom window. Thunderstorms were the perfect sleep inducer. They
calmed me, and I really needed a way to sedate myself and drift off to sleep.

A way to break away from my pent up rage, a way to forget just for a couple hours that what once was my life was now transformed into something unrecognizable.

I turned away from the window, closing my eyes as the roll of thunder growled in the background.

My phone lit up, along with my room,
I fumbled with the buttons, trying to figure out who would be calling me so late.

I rolled my eyes, dropping my feet to the floor. “Why can’t you just drop dead already?”

I didn’t want to talk to Ana. I wanted to punch her, and pretending to be a caring human being proved harder and harder each time I dealt with her.

I hit the button and closed my eyes. “Hey.”

“You have to come out tonight. This bar is packed with men,” her shrill tone slapped me in the eardrum. “Please.”

I wondered if the reason she called the widow was because no other girl’s could stand to be around her. It was all starting to make sense. I opened my closet, ignoring Eric’s suit that I was going to donate to a homeless shelter when I got home.

I pulled out the last thing in my closet, a tight dress that hadn’t seen the light of day since I bought it a year ago and refused to wear it. I needed to catch up on laundry I thought tossing the dress over my shoulder.

“I’ll come out, but I’
m bringing a friend.” I told her. I rifled through the dresser and found a jean skirt.

“Did you meet someone?” She asked sounding more amazed than happy if that were the case.

“I made a friend at the last grief meeting I went to,” I said, working myself out of my shirt.

She sighed. “Oh no, how depressed is she? Did her husband just die or has it been some time?”

I bit my tongue, balancing the phone against my shoulder. “Is Carter going to be coming tonight?” I wasn’t about to humor her and even give that question an answer.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Let’s have a girl’s night. I’ve already saw Carter a couple of times this week.”

“Alright, I will see you in a little bit,” I said ending the call before she could say anything else.

I hopped in the shower, and did my best in fifteen minutes to get ready for the night out. Even if I had to ignore Ana, at least scouring the bar for a potential hookup would be worth it.

Or maybe Abbi would be great company and we would make bar hopping are new thing to do without Ana.

***

I shut the door to the lexus. “Wow, Abbi this is a pretty sweet car.”

Abbi chirped her alarm and smoothed her hair behind her ear. “My husband came from a wealthy family. And when he died his family was more than generous with his assets.”

I raised an eyebrow impressed. “You mean nobody fought you over money or anything?”

With a swing of the head, Abbi’s straight hair danced around her shoulders. “They have plenty of their own money. Besides, they knew how he felt about leaving me behind.”

Their love
was sweet. So sweet I almost smacked right into the door of the bar thinking about how lucky she was to have a man like him.

“Is everything alright?” Abbi asked, she handed over her license.

“Yeah, fine.” I sighed. “I sort of realized that a big part of my marriage was a joke. And as much as I try to hide it it still hurts.”

She gave a sympathetic smile, touching my arm. “
I’m sorry.”

I ignored the sympathy Abbi
tried to shell out. “I’m fine. If anything I think it’s for the best.”

I was sure she thought that I was crazy. But I didn’t care. I
experienced crazy once. I thought I was crazy for Eric and then it all fell apart in the matter of minutes. It was funny how a few minutes could destroy something so fast.

“So what now?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve thought that far into things. I know I would love to meet somebody who made me feel that way again. Only this time let it be real.”

Abbi bit her lip smiling. “That would be nice. I’m worried Joey set the bar to high. Or am I just crazy?”

At one time I would have said that she wasn’t. “You were happy, that’s a good thing to remember. And its good to strive to have that again. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“What about you?” Abbi waited patiently to hear my answer.

“There’s been guys,” I said.
Lots of guys.
I wasn’t about to tell her that though. “I can’t say there has been too much of a connection with anyone, I’ve held back because of Eric.”

“But not anymore?” Abbi asked.

“Not anymore. Now I am ready and willing. Just waiting for the right one to show up.” I fiddled with the strap of my tank top.

“Prince charming, that’s who I’m waiting for,” Abbi said with a sigh.

“Not me, I’ll take Mr. been there done that,” I said. Like Carter I thought to myself. He was a breath of fresh air, air I wanted to breathe.

Ana waved fighting through a
slew of men to get to the doors, clad in her famous plunging neck line dress. “I thought you would never get here.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So you drink yourself stupid?”

She shot me a confident smile crossing her arms. “You should see the boys here tonight.”

Abbi and I took the scenery in. “This is a crowd, that’s for sure.”

I nodded my head in Abbi’s direction once Ana started shooting daggers into my new gal pal. “Ana, Abbi, Abbi this is Ana.”

They shook hands, Ana gripped my shoulder steering
me through the crowd to her table.

I took a seat, surprised to see a
man at it. Abbi ran her hand through her hair, her eyebrows going together. The poor girl wasn’t used to this social atmosphere and I felt for her.

“Ana, aren’t you going to introduce us to your two beautiful friends?” The guy said, winking in her direction.

I studied the college ring he wore on his finger.

“This is Ana, and her friend.”
She took her spot beside the blonde.

“How do you know Ana?” He asked, taking
a swig of his beer.

I bit my tongue on my little secret and settled for a different response. “Ana use
d to work at the office I work at.”

She laughed. “Until I was fired, what can I say I’m not office material like Morgan.” She ran a hand through her hair, her hand patting the football jock on the leg.

Abbi raised an eyebrow. “Where did the two of you meet?”

Ana exchanged glances with her pal. “We’ve done lunch a couple times.”

“Amongst other things,” he grinned, and slipped an arm around Ana.

I dropped down from the stool. “I’m gonna get drinks. Abbi you want to come?”

Abbi followed eager to escape. “She’s interesting.” She watched from the bar as Ana hung all over the guy at our table.

“Oh she is,” I said, digging my wallet from my pocket. “Two beers please.”

Abbi twirled her hair around her finger, and gasped. “Judging from the looks of that guy he must think so too.”

I turned
around, glancing around the bar.